My mind went blank and I lost all control of my body. I let Alex kiss me. His arms were wrapped around my waist, warmth spread over my lips and over my skin. The rest of the world had faded away, and I’d left my brain somewhere outside the bubble that we’d created.
Then, he moved away from me and the added oxygen to my brain let it function again. My eyes snapped open, a hand against my mouth. Oh my god. In shock I pushed him away, managing not to trip over my own feet. Blinking rapidly and unsure of what to do, I spun away and took off down the hallway.
I wasn’t sure what was going on in my head at that moment, and I was barely aware of where I was going besides forward. The student body flowed around me fluidly, somehow still allowing me to stay on track.
What had just happened?
Where had that come from?
The daze wore off slowly but surely and left the smile clear off of my face. Cynicism took up residence in my mind and kept attempting to make sense of Alex’s actions. There was no other reason that he would do something like that to me without the ulterior motive of possibly just wiping the smile off of my face. It was Alex I was talking about; there was no way that he would kiss me just because he wanted to.
Alex had proved, in the past, that he liked messing with my mind and seeing me struggle. This was probably another example of that… but what if it wasn’t? I fought back tears of frustration as I forced my way through the throngs of kids my age.
“Whoa, what wiped the smile off your face, B?” Jenna asked, sweeping in beside me on the way to Biology.
“Alex kissed me,” I blurted under my breath, unsure of how else to word it.
Her gentle hand rested on my shoulder as she took a deep breath, “What?” She began, and I snuck a glance at her perplexed face. “Why is that such a bad thing?”
I reverted my eyes forward, giving her a shrug as I struggled to compose myself before heading into the lab. Jenna took that as a sign that we would talk about it later, and I was glad that she didn’t press it further. I needed to get my head straight before I even attempted to explain this to anyone else.
The one thought that was clear in my mind was that a mother would know how to deal with this.
***
I couldn’t concentrate in Biology; my mind was preoccupied with scattered thoughts of nothing and everything, interrupted by Alex. The only upside to my distraction was that I didn’t also have to worry about Morgan, Drake or Tina. They weren’t even close to being on my mind.
Alex seriously tired me out with his teasing and joking. The fact that I knew he had some idea about what had happened to me was even more frustrating. I couldn’t trust him, so what was I supposed to do with that? My heart just didn’t understand the value in forgetting about him.
I caught myself unconsciously reaching out for a person that wasn’t there, to take comfort in his warm fur and dependability. Bear had always listened to me, even if he couldn’t advise me on what to do next. A clear mind was all I needed, and he usually provided peace of mind.
Moving my hand back onto the desk, I leaned against my palm and sighed. Instead of dwelling on everything that I couldn’t make sense of, I redirected my attention to the fact that I knew who my mother was. It was a small comfort, since I hadn’t managed to do anything with the information, but comfort nonetheless.
How long did I plan to prolong this whole thing?
It was simple; I’d just go to the listed address in Detroit and hope for the best. That was naïve, of course, but I’d figure it out on the way, I’d have to. Unless I wanted to stay lost and confused, I’d have to adapt and move forward. Veronica Colton was the first step I had to take. Was I willing to go for it?
Anxiety twisted my stomach, but my mind was made up. I was going to head out tonight, regardless of school. Explanations were necessary for me to move on with my life. There had to be some pretty simple justification for what had happened to me, and my mother would surely have some insight to that. Even if she didn’t, she’d help me, right?
I sat up, letting my hand fall back to the table and looked around the room restlessly. Drake caught my eyes with his darkly intense ones, drawing my attention toward him. Surely, he didn’t think I’d forgotten about yesterday afternoon already? Was I really that quick to forgive? I narrowed my eyes at him and turned back to concentrate, blocking him completely.
It took a while for the feeling of being watched to fade away but, eventually, Drake stopped looking at me. Another heavy sigh escaped my lips. Yeah, I was heading out on a road trip to Detroit tonight. Heaven knew I needed it.
The bell rang, signaling the end of Biology. As per usual, I packed up my stuff and headed out with Jenna. She opened her mouth, assumingly to ask me what had happened, and why I was so upset, but her phone cut her off and after a glance at it, she realized that her parents needed her at home.
“I’m sorry, B. I really have to get home, I’ll call you?” She asked her face creased with worry.
I was really glad that I had Jenna as a best friend; I couldn’t imagine anyone else being there quite like she’d been there for me. “That’s alright, go home. It can wait.”
“Thanks,” Jenna smiled and slipped her phone back into her bag. “But don’t think you’re getting out of telling me all the details.”
That pried a smile out of me, and a slight laugh. I waved as she left, disappearing down the bustling hallway. I decided that, instead of going out of the main entrance, I’d go around the side of the school, as it was closer to my car than the other way.
Readjusting my route, I walked as the amount of people decreased, until I was alone at the exit. Far off, I heard the sounds of people chatting. I pushed the bar on the door, heaving it open; it was much heavier than the main entrance. Just as I got it open, a hand appeared beside mine and shut it again.
I whirled to face Drake, not in the mood for yet another confrontation with him.
“What do you want?” I asked, exasperated, throwing my hands up into the air.
He closed the space between us, forcing me to step backwards. I didn’t like the invasion of my space, but liked the fact that I had backed up even worse. Looking up, I met dark eyes, black eyes like abysses, like his pupils had swallowed his irises. My palms dampened when my heart rate jumped a little. What was wrong with him?
“Drake?” I utter, pushing him back by the chest. He didn’t budge an inch. “Cut it out, it’s not funny.”
He laughed, a cruel, sarcastic sound as he put his hands on either side of my head, on the door behind me. “I suppose it’s not, but then again, it’s not supposed to be.”
My hands were trapped between our chests, rendering them pretty useless against his evident strength. “What are you doing?” I asked again, failing to hide the fear I felt from my voice.
***
Drake was consumed with anger. It was irrational and impulsive, the way pure fury often was. He’d managed to keep it under control when he’d heard what had happened between her and Alex, just barely. However, when she looked at him with such contempt, in Biology, he’d lost it.
She had no right to look at him that way, as if she were better than him. As if she could do no wrong.
It was only a momentary delusion that he’d had, a lapse on his part, which had allowed him to think that maybe they were similar enough to work. That maybe she would be able to tolerate him, to change him. It was unmistakable to identify now that it would never happen.
It gave him sick joy to see her so helpless, to understand how insignificant her petty strength was compared to his.
He ran the back of his hand down her cheek and neck, feeling the erratic pulse of her heart in her throat. She made a noise in the back of her throat, a whimper of fear, and another smile broke across his face.
***
My mind raced with a thousand words that meant absolutely nothing. I couldn’t get myself to think straight for more than a second. Fright cast a haze of stupidity over my instincts and rational thought. Ohgodohgodohgod. I inhaled sharply when he ran his hand over my face and neck, whimpering at the memory of hands around my throat.
Something clicked in my mind at that moment, and I let myself fall limp against the door, fighting the urge to tense my muscles again.
Bewilderment loosened Drake’s hold on me, and before he could rethink it, I brought up my knee as hard as I could and slammed my hands into his chest. I didn’t stop to see if I’d managed to deter him at all, but instead, pushed past him and started to run down the hallway.
A hand jarred my shoulder, yanking me to a stop. I lashed out, trying to get away, to no avail. He shoved me, hard. My head connected with the wall and my vision blurred. Dull throbbing pulsed in the back of my head.
A door opened and shut with a click that reverberated down the hallway, footsteps sounded, coming closer round the corner.
My mind was too muddled to remember to yell, and I wasn’t sure that I was capable of that yet. Drake released my shoulders and I slumped to the ground. Belatedly, my vision cleared, though the ache was still there. My head lolled on my neck, too heavy for me to hold up.
“Blaise?”
I knew that voice, but darkness was invading my vision, even as I struggled to take back control of my muscles. The light lanced pain through my head, forcing my eyes shut.
“Blaise?” He said, again, his warm hands on my shoulders.
The contact forced the grasp of oblivion away, bringing my unseeing eyes open. I concentrated on the endless grey blue of his beautiful eyes, powerless to do much else. His mouth moved, the one that had, just an hour ago, been on mine. Sound didn’t reach my ears.
Alex’s hands held my head between them, forcing me to concentrate. The white noise in my head lessened, and I could give attention to more detail in his face, instead of having blurry edged images of his eyes.
“Are you okay?” He repeated, his face close to mine.
The reality of what had just happened hit me full force. Like ice water, it snapped me fully back, giving everything a cold edge and crystal clear lucidity.
“Where’s Drake?” I muttered, breathless and bewildered.
Worry lines in Alex’s face deepened, pulling his eyebrows together. “What do you mean?” He asked, and then shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, what happened to you?”
I pushed his hands away, sitting up by myself. “Of course it matters! Where did he go?”
“I haven’t seen him- are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Alex stood up, offering me a hand.
“You haven’t seen him? How could you not? He was right here!” I yelled, gesturing to the place where he had stood just a minute ago. Jumping to my feet, I tried to convince Alex, tried to make him remember. He had to. Heart racing, I looked around, knowing that he had to be somewhere.
“I think you need to sit down,” Alex advised cautiously, as if trying to calm a spooked horse.
I groaned, running my hands through my hair. “No, listen to me, please, just listen to me for once, really listen. He was-”
“Blaise.” He stopped me short with his loaded tone.
I realized I was breathing hard, and the persistent ache in the back of my head was only worsening with my distress, but I couldn’t stop it- I had to get out of there. I dropped my hands to my side, tired of arguing with him and tired of letting him always get the best of me. “It’s fine,” I growled, mimicking the sense of calm he always used around me, like I were a child. “It’s all in my head and all that. Okay? I get it.”
All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry, somewhere where people couldn’t hurt me. I’d have to settle for away from Alex and this town. Just for a little while.
I didn’t give him a chance to say anything else when I turned away, fighting to keep my stride steady and collected. His hand caught my wrist, but I shook it off. No, I was right about this, and I needed to figure everything out.
Veronica Colton would surely give me some answers.