Chapter 43: My Oxygen
Arnav's POV-
I slowly open my eyes and stretch my arms. Like usual day, the first thing I do, to see the angelic face of my khushi. I spread my arms to embrace her, calling out her name only to sense opposite end empty. I shot my eyes open and found her absent. A sudden fear arise within my chest.. Millions of thought came across my mind in just one fraction.
Khushi? I call her name but i scream as my eyes widen by the sight.
She is laying on the floor unconscious through her stomach. I feel my knees weaken.
My entire world came crashing.
Did my baby.?
Quickly, i ran to her and took her into my lap, crushing her against me.. But what did shock me the look on her face. Although she was unconscious, but the vulnerability on her face was clearly visible. It scared me hell out of it. I have no idea what's wrong with her and how she end up falling down.
'Khushi..khush..iii..you okay..please open your eyes..say something..'' I patted her cheeks in a ray of hope only to receive her dead silence.
Ananya who just arrived from mandir heard my scream. She ran toward my room and get shocked seeing Khushi's state.
Within 5 minutes Ambulance reached, carrying my angel body. I tried to hide my eyes as you know beast can't cry while Ananya accused me for being so irresponsible and careless. She is not wrong, i failed to protect my Khushi. If anything happened to her and baby, how i'm going to face myself?.
As soon as we reached hospital, she was taken to ICU as Doctor said her condition is critical and there are chances of saving only one between mother and child.
I stepped back by the doctor's word. Tears of pain flow from my eyes.
'Please Khushi..don't go..my life is nothing without you. It can't be..''
Nearly an hour passed, she was in the operation theater and operation is still going on. Anjali and Aman rushed to the hospital after Ananya informed him. Anjali remain quiet and did not once look at me.
I ignore her as my attention only on Khushi. While Aman keep pacifying her being by her side holding her hand. Entire family is desperately waiting for any news.
Ananya felt bad seeing his condition, she carried her hand to place on his shoulder wanted to sooth him but the memory of past internally stop her and she eventually take back her hand, moving her gaze back to Khushi from outside.
I waited in the lobby crying, shivering and shaking when i heard a crying voice of baby. I felt my eyes get moist as the crying get louder.
''Arnav..did you hear..Our khushi deliver a baby..oh my god I just can't believe i become massi..'' She smiled affectionately hugging me from behind. While Anjali and Aman too felt extremely happy.
Aman urge her to go and meet her brother. May be her one word of assurance will help him to let this rough phas pass by. She wondered with her heart bleeded by his misery, who is standing few inches away alone and restless.
Her heart began to swell seeing him broken. Reluctantly, Anjali proceed and about to place her hand on his shoulder but the sight of Khushi in operation theater stop her and she step back. Doctor is still in operation theatre while Nurse come out breaking the news of her successfully delivering baby girl.
I turn my face back hiding my tears from everone when nurse came out holding a tiny figure of a little angel wrapped in a white sheet. I saw her from few inches away, my legs get heavy.
I wanted to go and hold my mini angel but what if she will hates me? If she ask me why i rejected her mother when she was expecting, what i will say?
Did I really deserve to be a father? My inner voice asked before I inch backward and turn to other side..refused to met her.
Anjali pass accusing comments for my ill behavior so does others but she don't know how difficult it is for me to keep myself away from my daughter. My inside is burning with a huge thunderstorm.
I kept my eyes shut, having no strength to face her. She is as innocent as Khushi. My shadow is a cursed for everyone. I needed to protect her from my dark shadow. I had killed my Nani, i don't want to kill her too. Wiping back by tears, i look out for Khushi from glass..
I heard Anjali talking to baby in a baby voice behind my back but i got no courage to turn and see her. How does she look? Does she resemble like me or Khushi? I wondered with my grip fidgeting restlessly, trying hard to keep myself away from mini Khushi.
I came back from his reverie when the light of ICU went off and doctor came out.
Arnav: how is she? is..s..sh..ee..okay..My Khus..hi...I shuttered. (Tears form in arnav's eyes.)
''It's a premature delivery..For few days baby should be kept in ventilator.
''What?'' My heart sank.
''Why you are worrying Mr raizada..You should be happy she will be away from your sight..'' Anjali pass a comment in between. While he least care to reply her. All he waited for doctor to proceeds.
''Never in any case i saw any child to fight for his life..This is a miracle..I guess your child is a fighter..Infact after major injuries, It's strange how newborn survived as falling down during 8th month pregnant may lead to miscarriage in most of the cases. (He get horrified all of a sudden)
''Don't worry your baby is out of danger. At one point Baby's heart beat had stopped. When you brought her, we thought it died inside her womb. By god grace, it get rescued as suddenly newborn heart started pumping. There might be definitely a strong connection between mother and child that safeguard her life..''
''You mean My baby is perfectly fine?'' He smiled in relief getting his nod. But it get instantly faded on being asked about Khushi..
~~~
Anjali and Aman being in NICCU room where baby is kept. She is breathing with the help of ventilator and all the nutrient and food is injected through her veins. Arnav get all the updates from Ananya who constantly taking care of her. He feel a tug upon knowing how much little princess is bearing just after its born. All because of him. Firstly Khushi and now this small angel too bearing the pain.
Ananya ask him to go and met the baby but his heart and mind only on Khushi. At this moment, there is no happiness on his face to become a father. The only voice he wanted to hear is of Khushi, not anyone else. Not even his own baby.
All she can see only Khushi's reflection in his brown eyes. She feel guilty, how foolish she was to think Arnav ever had loved her. Infact she is the one who come between two lovers. DM never forgive her. She have done a biggest mistake breaking their adorable family.
''Go Arnav, Khushi needs you the most. Ananya finally spoke after a long silence..''
''No i can't..i can't see her like this..''
''You have too..Your love only healing medicine for her. Didn't you heard what doctor said before leaving, No medicine is affecting her. Those 24 hour is the most toughest phase for her life. During this period, if she did not response we may lost he..-''
No!!!!!!!!! He scream out getting up from his place and look straight toward the direction..
''Go Arnav..Be brave and face her..''
''What if she..she..''
''She love you Arnav, she love you boundlessly..''
''You really feel she will forgive me?'' His voice is filled with a new ray of hope.
Her one node brought a huge smile on his face and he directly storm inside leaving behind all his insecurity and retaliation.
'I promise to you Ma, my hidden feelings for Arnav will never affect their relationship. Please ma keep your blessing on khushi. Don't let anything happen to her otherwise Arnav will die..that little angel..she is craving to be in her mother's embrace..I can't see him like that. i lo...v...'' Ananya's heart pain as she suppress her feelings in the depth of her heart and put a brave front. Probably This is what i actually deserves casting an eye on my sister's love. But what can i do my heart is not under my control..
~~~
As soon as i entered, i saw her. Her body pale and cold like she give up all hopes to survive. My heart burned by the mere sight of her. I drag the chair and sat there holding her hand.
You will be fine..I am here with you..You are not going anywhere..I need you, our baby needs you..
After some moment, Nurse came there and put the baby beside her. To avoid facing her, he got up and about to go when suddenly he felt the lines in the monitor screen dripping. His heart skipped its beat.
No!!!!!!
He ran forward and lay down hugging her body, he cry like a child. Hearing his cry, the little angel in the crib also started crying. This is for the first time, he came face to face with baby girl. Slolwy he walk to the crib and caught the sight of her. Her nose, eyes, cheeks, exactly resemble like Khushi. Her small legs and arms creeping in air and the way she look at me, my ragged breathe come back to normal. He did not hold her, just keep staring her with tears rolling down.
Can i hold you..? He asked and the mini Khushi observe her closely with a twinkle shine her eyes. She is so tiny and fragile, he get scared thinking if she get fell down. Never in his life, he hold any baby. This is for the first time. He put her near khushi and held her hand. Her tiny legs kicking Khushi who is sleeping peacefully.
''Did you see Khushi..Look at your daughter..She is so adorable..I can't believe this..we become parents..open your eyes, Khushi..Hey call your mum..Your mumma won't listen to me.but you..she definitely hear you..come on call her..''
Ahhooo..
Khushi did you hear her voice..? She is calling you..Khushi?????
He shake her, no response. You have every right to trouble me but what about our little princess..Why you are punishing her for my deeds..She is desperately wanted to be in your arms. Wake up.
Listen Khushi Kumari Gupta..unless you open your eyes, i am not going to be with you..You have to come back to me else i will show my angry on her..Did you hear me????? Hearing his tone, Baby started crying.
No..no..don't cry..shh..Okay i will not shout at your mum..Tell your ma to be with me..I know she is angry with me and all she is doing to trouble me. But you, she never refuse you..tell her to come back to me, to her Arnav. Tell her to forgive me!
While baby keep looking at him. Her expression turn into furious one in a way accusing him why he had hurt her ma. His eyes went widen in shock seeing sudden hatred in his daughter eyes for him. He step back.
After this encounter with baby, he never dare to met her eye.
13 hours had passed but there is no movement from Khushi. Baby is again shifted to ventilation Room while Arnav always remain by Khushi side without leaving her for a moment. At one point, Anjali came to her room to meet her but seeing the sight of broken Arnav make her hard to imagine how miserable he become.
Khushi don't leave me..He cried on the crook of her neck.
*flashback*
HOW DARE YOU ENTER MY CABIN WITHOUT PERMISSION..
He dragged her out of his cabin, throwing her damn tiffin on the floor. She look at me dejected.
Today is the day when they met for the first time so she wanted to celebrate it making his favorite delicious food for him. But he again humiliated her so does her emotions by creating a scene in front of his staff who were casting bad eye upon her.
''Who allow you in..security..throw this cheap women out from here..''
''Arnavji..hum toh sirf..''
JUST SHUT UP..(He grabbed her shoulder as tightly as possible hurting her more.) Dare to speak a word..this is my office not your boyfriend's bedroom where you can roam anytime.
''Don't say like that..it hurts..''
Apne jaan se bhi jyada pyaar karte hain apse..Jab aap hame chot pauchate hain..maan karta hain ki bas maar hi jaye..(I love you more than my life..your words do hurt me..sometimes i feel i should have died..)
Then go and die..who is stopping you..? His words broke her heart.
''This is what a mistress like you is liable for..I just don't understand when i get rid of you..I am really tired of tolarating every day dancing on my head. Give me a break Khushi..''
''I'm a burden for you?'' (Her voice trembled)
''Ofcourse you are!''
''I love you Arnav! (She touch his face lovingly) I can't see you with another women. Why can't you see how much i changed myself for you..I really can't imagine my life without you...''
''So what a big deal. You know I never believed in love. I use women for pleasure and you are not less than any entertainment for me. Don't forget your finacee sold you to me. Nowhere written in the contract that I have to bare you 24*7..Give me a break Khushi..Look don't anger me more otherwise you know what might be the consequence by messing with Asr..''
I pushed her off by which she fell on the ground. She look at me teary hoping I will hold her like in past, but I let her fall down.
I said OUT!!!!!!!
Security throw this vile women out of my sight..
Giving her last pity look, he get close to his new secretary, intimately touching and telling her to wait for him in his cabin.
Khushi stood there like a statue. Her eyes is filled with sorrow by his betrayal.
''Sweetheart you are still here..You know baby i don't like anyone to disturb me when I...''
''Not today but one day i will make you realize my importance to you after that if you ever ask me i never come back to you..I will go arnav..i will go..even if you call me from the depth of your heart, i never came back..''
Khushi!!!!!!!!!!!!! He jerk back with a thud. He lifted himself up and cast his puffy red eyes on her fragile form.
''I am so..sorry Khushi for not understanding your feelings. I am so sorry for making you go through hell. Not once but many times I had betray you yet you gave a chance for your relation..I never realized my words and actions deteriorating you to such an extent..'' He keep stroking her hairs soothingly. Does his soothing is enough to heal her?
Believe me I did not get intimate with my secretary to my cabin. It was just a pretend as i wanted to give you the worst pain of your life..I promise i never lay my eyes on another women. He stare her with guilt and restlessness and kissed her eyes making her to flinched. The lines in the monitor scene appear to be dripping. Arnav held her close to his heart.
Wake up, Khushi. You can't go like this leaving me incomplete. Your fight is yet not over..Wake up and punish me for my deeds. I can bear everything but your silence..It is torturous..You are my life..My weakness..my strength..My everything..You have to be with our little princess. Why you're punishing her for my deeds. She needs you..
He can sense her finding difficult to breathe. Doctors and nurses gave answer. Ananya, Aman and Anjali cried harder hugging her body.
He got up with rage and agony asking them to stop this drama. Then he started dragging everyone out of the room along with doctor.
''What are you doing Arnav..'' Aman asked in astonishment.
''No one will come between us..''
Stop it! She need treatment. Said Anjali, his inhumanity do shock her sometimes.
''I Know what is good for my Khushi..Keep your advice with you..You already create enough mess in my life..Kindly leave us alone..''
His rudeness definately enraged her but she remain quiet as this is not the right time for argument and left from there.
He shut the door behind after everyone disappeared and reached by her side.
'So Miss gupta..Now no one can save you from me..Not even your Devimaiya..'' He trace his finger to her face.
Her such reaction make him aware what he is thinking is true. While he keep touching her at the places triggering her more.
He felt her body shaking by his touch. He caress her body with his rough hand making her body tensed. Her denial is something he cannot bare. Fury rushed to him seeing no response by her side.
YOU HAVE TO COME BACK TO ME..BECAUSE THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM MY HELL.. YOU ARE MY SLAVE..MY MISTRESS FOR LIFETIME..ARNAV SINGH RAIZADA NEVER LOOSE.. He grab her both hands pinning it against the bed.
His inner voice clenching in pain. God, I can't do this. No matter how is she and in what condition. He can't do this to her. He can't broke her soul but another voice compel him to do this. Not for him, but for their daughter, she needed to be come back. Taking a sharp exasperated sigh, he glare her.
'Did you remember what i had done when you rejected me?'' The grip of his hold tightened. Her breathe subconsciously get tensed. I have had you..you were so helpless that fateful night begging me to stop..But i show no mercy and greedily lusted upon your body. Every night i used you but you are a fool to believe my lust as a love. It wasn't any love? Did you hear me I always wanted to break your ego and see today you are laying here like a weak, helpless, defeated who have no liability to fight against me..I win Khushi gupta..i win and you loose..You BLOODY LOOSE..MY EGO IS SATISFIED NOW..
So let's begin yet another game, Miss gupta..With a huge grin of victory on his face, he lean to her face claiming her as MINE when..
D..o..n..t yo..u..touch me..
To be continued!
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