"Hey Draco."
Draco looked up to see Granger leaning seductively against the wall of the prefects bathroom. She had red lipstick and a leather jacket on over her uniform.
"Granger, what in Merlin's name are you doing here?" he asked curiously, lowering himself more in the water.
"I was looking for a place to crash," she answered, taking out a cigarette and lighting it, "I need a stud to take me in tonight."
"Er--well, there's the Gryffindor common room--"
"And it looks like I've found one," she interjected, inhaling the smoke, "You know, I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week, Malfoy."
"What--"
"How many secrets can you keep--"
"Granger--"
"'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat," she tossed the cigar on the floor and put it out with her foot and began seductively stripping off her clothes, "Until I fall asleep."
"Okay, Granger," Draco stated loudly, looking away as she shed off her undergarments, "I don't know what's gotten into you but this is my nightly bath and I'm not going to let you--"
"CRAWLING BACK TO YOU!" Hermione shrieked and with that, she jumped into the vast bath. Draco hollered out as red lips tried to kiss every inch of him, "EVER THOUGHT OF CALLING WHEN--"
"STOP IT!"
"YOU'VE HAD A FEW?!"
"GAH!"
"'CAUSE I ALWAYS DO!"
NO!"
"MAYBE I'M TOO BUSY BEING YOURS TO FALL FOR SOMEBODY NEW--"
"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!"
"It's the Arctic Monkeys, Malfoy," Hermione leaned on the edge of the bath and magicked up a cigarette and a lighter and lit it up, "It's a Muggle band. Why don't you be my Alex Turner, eh?"
"I don't understand," Draco grunted, trying to wash off the red lipstick marks off his neck.
"Perhaps you're Stuck on a Puzzle."
"No, I think you are, Granger."
"Oh, don't be such a Fluorescent Adolescent."
"Just leave, filthy Mudblood!"
Hermione gazed at him for a while before puffing smoke in the Slytherin's face causing him to cough. "Will you pour me One for the Road then?"
Draco pondered for a moment before shrugging and pulling her close. Hermione wanted to cheer in victory as their lips connected. The kiss was amazing. Draco was sure he heard a guitar solo in the background somewhere near the entrance. Draco pulled away when Hermione began moaning. The Gryffindor smirked and traced his collar bone.
"Alright, Rumbleroar," she called, "Your job here is done. Thanks for your help."
Draco whirled around and gaped at the lion standing on its hind legs and holding a guitar. The lion had a hat similar to Dumbledore's. Why did Draco have the sudden urge to run away with the lion somewhere away from Hogwarts? Perhaps another school? Yeah, that'll be nice.
"No problem, Hermione," the lion winked and left.
"What?" Draco was still gaping at the entrance, "Am I dreaming, Granger?"
"Nah. C'mon let's go to the Slytherin common room."
"And you're not afraid?"
"What kind of Gryffindor would I be if I was afraid, stud?"
Draco smirked and crashed their lips together again.
---
Okay, I have an explanation. I love the Arctic Monkeys. They are the best band ever and I just had to put it in here somehow with a smidge of AVPM.