Attraction I know the definition and what it is supposed to look like. I always thought when my father looked at my mother there was always a combination of emotions in his eyes that would display on his face. Never in my life though would I have thought that I would get the chance to experience it myself.
Now looking at Kader everything about him from his lips to his hair color to his built and my favorite his eyes his dark eyes. All of those things draws me to him. I just want to be near him and forgive me stars for thinking it, but I want to touch him as well, all of him.
When Kader's fingers grazed my cheek shivers erupted through my body, my mind could not register anything no thoughts came to me nothing. It was like his touch sucked everything from me; and I am just empty not knowing what was going to happen next.
I am just staring at him waiting for him to make another move or say something.
"I think we have much to talk about but it is late and both of us will have much to get done tomorrow. So I think it is best we skip out on the ceremony festivities and rest for tonight. I will be back tomorrow in the morn maybe we can go for a walk while we talk. Does that sound good to you?"
I take in what he said it all sounds wonderful and I am relieved that I do not have to attend the after ceremony party. I am still tired but with everything that has happened I think my mind will do nothing but race.
"Azalea?"
"Oh, y-yes that sounds perfect actually. Um well I will show you out." I rush not wanting to seem like I am eager to get rid of him. I am eager but it is because I cannot wait for tomorrow to come.
I throw back my covers getting ready to get up when Kader's hand stop my movement and push me on my back against my bed.
My eyes widen what in the stars is he doing he- he could not possibly be-
"I will show myself out. You just rest we do not want you to faint again." He smiles but does not laugh I look to his eyes searching for an emotion once again I find nothing. Perhaps he is like me and is shy and guarded.
"I was serious Azalea I do not want you to faint again but I did not mean to hurt your feelings."
Hurt my feelings; oh dear he must have taken my silence as me being offend. I cannot keep doing this to him; I have to stay out of my head and live in the moment now that I have a mate.
"Oh no, no I-I was not hurt I was just thinking, I was" I cannot very well tell him that I got lost in his gorgeous eyes now can I?
"I am sorry you did nothing wrong I know you were just being humorist. I look away embarrassed. "I promise I will not faint again."
He lets out a soft very adorable laugh it was short but I appreciated it none the less.
"Good, I will see you soon." I keep my gaze on my wall waiting to hear my door shut. I hear nothing I turn my head confused.
The moment my head turned I feel a rushed, firmed, but moist pressure to my throat just above my Taurus birthmark. My entire body stills; did he-did he just kiss me? Did he just kiss my neck?
He pauses and breaths on my throat and just when I think he will kiss me again he pulls away but just enough for me to look up at him with wide innocent eyes.
"Good night Azalea." His eyes take a quick survey of my face and he leaves. I lay there in bed once again wondering if I am in a dream state.
If I fall asleep will I wake up to my old life? Will I still be the 19 years old she wolf who was lonely and made her family ashamed of her?
Suddenly the thought of falling asleep does not seem so appealing as it once did. I want time to pass quickly so I can once and for all be certain that I am not dreaming and know Kader is not just a spirit of the stars.
A soft knock comes to my door. I know it's my mother because of the diminishing scent of Kader's and then the increased new scent of floral and water.
"Azalea may I come in?"
"Yes-" I clear my dry throat "Yes mother come in."
She walks in with something hot and steamy in my pink clay mug. I take a whiff and realize it is warm milk but there is a hint of coco in it.
"I brought you something to help you sleep. I know with all the excitement and changes it may be difficult tonight."
I sit up and smile my mother always seems to know exactly what I need. I give her a big pleased smile.
"Thank you mother I was worried I would not be able to fall asleep too. Is that ciocolată cu lapte?"
"Yes your favorite." She hands me the mug and I settle back against my pillow and sip at the warm delicious goodness.
"Did you and Kader have a talk, he left quickly?"
"Yes but he felt it best that we leave all the more serious topics till tomorrow morning. He wants to take me walking with him; is that okay."
My mother giggles, "Azalea you do not have to have my permission to take a walk with your mate; but I will warn you that better be all that occurs you are not bonded yet. The stars will not look favorably on you and your mate."
I blush and shake my head, "Mother of course will just be taking a walk I-I would never do anything with Kader till after our binding."
I she giggles even louder which in turns makes my cheeks even rosier.
"Azalea I know I was just teasing you but from the color of your cheeks I think we may have to have the mating discussion a bit sooner than normal."
"Mother!"
''Oh Azalea hush it is a part of life loving your mate, but I will not speak any further on the matter or at least until later. You drink up change your cloths and then get some rest. Azalea the next ten days will be very busy for you."
"Okay mother, I will." I grip my mug peering into it mulling over every that will occur within the ten days before the Hunters moon and mating ceremony.
My mother gives me the grandest and the tenderest hug I have ever felt from her and I return it with everything I have conveying so many unspoken words of how happy, relieved, and excited I am.
I will admit with the responsibility of my future being so great it does set me on edge, but with Kader with me I believe we can overcome anything together.
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After the talk with my mother it did not take long for me to doze off. But I was still haunted with anxiety filled dreams one after another they kept getting worse.
One of the dreams that I recall was me going through the mating announcements again, but this time when my name was called Kader refused our mating because I was far too old.
I woke up panicked late into the evening and I was just so riled up and upset. If it was not for my beautiful dress hanging in my closet I would have really thought all that had happened was a dream.
It took me another hour to fall back asleep but thinking of Kader and our next meeting did help calm my nerve well the nerves about my dreams.
Then another dream came along, it was very confusing and distressing. I was running from something or someone I was not sure. I just felt the overwhelming need to flee and get as much distance as I possibly could between me and whatever was chasing me.
My feet were pounding into the hard cold leaf covered ground and the soles of my feet were throbbing and aching I did not know how much longer I could keep going. I could hear howling, growling and snarling it was so frightening and confusing.
At once I realized I was getting close to the border of my packs land and I slowed my pace not sure if I should cross the line. I would be leaving my home and this made me freeze.
Within my next breath I felt strong arms grip around me and haul me backwards towards them; a scream had lodge itself in my throat. That was when I woke up in a cold sweat which has never happened before. I could not breath right I had to get up and open my window to settle my breathing.
It took me a while longer than before to fall asleep. I did though I do not remember when.
When I woke up this morning I felt lighter. I felt like I had so much to look forward to even with my dreams. I feel almost giddy at the thought of seeing Kader again. I will admit he still makes me nervous. I think that is normal we are still stranger to each other and are still getting used to the life path we have been given, and it is in my nature to be nervous.
The looming thought of me getting pregnant and having the packs future alpha still weighs heavily on me. I mean I never even considered it a possibility that I could conceive an alpha let alone be given my mate. I had always assumed the future alpha would come from Don or Dax or even another family never me.
I let a big smile across my face as I look to my wardrobe thinking on to wear for my walk with Kader as I do I get an image of me with a swollen belly comes to mind. I absently mindedly place my hands over my stomach; I wonder what it will feel like to carry a pup?
'I wonder how creating a pup will feel?'
The memory or the sensation I felt when Kader kissed my throat makes me shiver. Stop it Azalea it is so improper for you to be thinking like this, but my body does not seem to care what is proper and improper with my mate.
I need to focus my thoughts on other things. There will be a time for all the more serious matters but right now my issues is on what to wear.
After much debate I decide on a modest but very feminine light yellow day dress. It has a somewhat sheer quality to the fabric and his covered in ruffles and ends below my knee.
I wonder if I have enough time to take a dip into the river to be clean and fresh before Kader comes. I do not want to smell unpleasant when we go walking.
"Azalea I made you breakfast hurry out before it gets cold." I undue my braid and re-due it making sure it is extra tight. I forget my washing altogether.
I head into my kitchen taking a whiff the mouthwatering muffins my mother has baked. I see my mother placing them on the table with care. My mother has a tendency to accidentally burn herself when she cooks or bakes. She is a very good cook just bit on the clumsy side which adds to her charm.
"Mother what are you doing up so early and making me breakfast?" I usually control all the baking so breakfast is usually my responsibility.
"Oh I could not sleep my mind was too preoccupied with everything we must get prepared and everything that I must talked to you about and teach you."
I smile to her "I thought I was supposed to be the one that cannot sleep at night."
"No, no you need to get all the sleep you can. I will worry for you all you need to focus on is here and now and Kader."
I sigh, "I wish it were that simple mother. What about everything I must learn? I need to learn about becoming a mother. I cannot even sew that well not to mention I will be carrying our future alpha. I cannot pretend to forget that."
"Azalea all of this is a blessing, and I would have thought by now you would realize the stars already have a plan in place for your life. Azalea just put your entire faith in them and all will be as it should."
Now I feel guilty, she is right I should be praying and thanking the stars not fretting over my future. They need know that I am grateful and that I will trust them from now on.
I sit down at the table and grab a muffin. "Mother tonight d-do you think we can make an offer to the stars to say thank you?"
"Now that is a fine idea. I will think of the perfect offing today while you are with Kader." I just nod my head in response. I nibble on my muffin feeling slightly strange because I do not feel strange.
What I mean is I feel very like myself even after all that has happened to me. I suppose I just thought being given my mate it would change me more, make me better.
But perhaps it will take time. I am not official mated with Kader yet so I am sure after we are bonded then everything will really begin to change.
"Azalea I was going to let Kader tell you this, but I want you to be prepared your father invited Kader's family and us to dinner at his cabin tonight. I did not accept yet because I wanted to talk to you first."
"Tonight?"
"Yes, he wants us to discuss a few things and for everyone to get to know one another. We will be family soon after all." My mother smiles after the word family; maybe she is expecting more from my mate and me than even I am?
Either way my mother is getting the chance to have what she always wanted; a real family. I do wonder if after I leave to live with Kader if my mother will move back in with my father?
If there are any truth to the rumors those she wolves at the ceremony spoke of why wouldn't she? But I would have known if my mother was reconnecting with my father beforehand and she was not; so why did my father escort her this year?
Oh it does not matter. I only want my mother's happiness whether that is back at my fathers or no.t I just do not wish to see her sad and lonely any longer.
My mother joins me at the breakfast table we both bow are heads in grace and thank the stars for this meal in front of us. I open and eyes and take a big bite out of this delicious muffin it is so sweet and moist though it is a bit crumbly, not that I would ever say that to my mother.
"Azalea I am sorry to have to bring this up but we have a lot to do. I want to make sure you understand and remember everything that is to occur between now and the binding ceremony." Her voice sounds exasperated but her eyes are filled with joy and excitement.
I swallow my big bite and think over all the things that must be finished.
"Yes I realize that but where do I start? I- I never planned on any of this happening so I do not really remember much of what you told me about the whole process." I lower my gaze feeling a little guilty that I had admitted this to my mother. I should have payed attention more but it is as I said I thought receiving my mate was a fairytale never to come true.
"I know Azalea that is why I am here. I have been through everything and that is what a mother is for, to guide her daughter and teach her. Speaking of teaching the first step is to brush up on your astrology and more importantly your mates sign. It will give you some insight about him and it is a starting point."
"His sign, a Scorpio." I speak softly to myself how could I have forgot?
A Scorpio he is a Scorpi. I do not know why when he first said it that I did not understand the meaning behind it. I am a Taurus and he is a Scorpio we our opposite signs in astrology.
I honestly do not know a lot of about Scorpios. When wolves in my pack our young as a part of our education we are to learn about the sign we were born under and of course my mother taught me about hers and my fathers.
My mother's sign is a Pisces the last and twelfth sign and the fish. Pisces are very sensitive people and have a caring and compassionate nature for others and they can be very emotional.
A negative is sometimes reality can become so bitter and hard to cope with it causes a Pisces to want to withdraw from reality in numerous ways. It can be in their nature to want to run from life.
Part of me wonders if that is why my mother took me and left my father because of situation and her inner Pisces playing a role.
The Pisces Star Bătrânii is said to be the most connect to the stars because of their tendency to withdraw themselves into religion and put all their faith and devotion to the stars. This is very similar to my mother, she has an unwavering devotion to them.
My fathers as well as Don are both Capricorns the 10th sign and the goat. Both just exsued stability, authority, leadership and in a silent way they command respect.
I guess thinking on it; it is no surprise that my father is our alpha and an honorable one at that. Capricorn's are reserved which reflects Don perfectly. Capricorn's are very hard workers determined and goal oriented; they always strive for something greater.
Then there is Dax he was born a Leo the fifth sign and the Lion. Similar to the lion Dax thinks of himself as very regal and dramatic and deserving of special treatment. Not all Leos mind you just my dear brother.
A lot of Leos are actually very loyal signs and charismatic and make good companions, perhaps Dax would be too if he puts someone before himself for once.
I know a little about every sign, but I must admit the little I know about Scorpios is that it is the eighth sign and the Scorpion. Also wolves born with this sign are very intense and mysterious individuals That is all I really recall learning about them. But the intense and mysterious part does bring worry to my heart; how much like his sign is Kader?
I must study up on my mates sign to gain more insight into him as a person. Because the stars know it will take me some time to gain the courage to actually talk to him about himself, at least for the time being.
"Yes he is and some of what you will learn might be..... Well it may be difficult take in." My mother says a little somberly.
"What do you mean?" I say worriedly and somewhat concerned
"I just want you to know that sometimes the sign and the person do not always mirror each other. Though our birth signs are very much a part of us and in many ways help shape us. I want you to remember that our environment and up bringing shape us as well."
I understand what she is saying exactly I am a Taurus the bull and the second sign. Taurus are supposed to be very stubborn, strong, loyal, reliable, and can be very possessive. I am not any of those things really. I am shy, insecure, indecisive, nervous. I suppose the loyal and reliable part I do have it me.
"I understand mother Kader is my mate nothing is going to separate me from him not now that I finally have him."
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The next few hours I and my mother discussed everything that was to occur between now and the binding ceremony. The ten days in-between the 27th and October 9th are just as important as the actual ceremonies.
The first day is spent getting to know your mate and mate's family more, hence my father insisting we have a dinner together. But each mate will go through a different process based on their gender.
Both Kader and I will spend the week learning about each other's sign and what being mated will entail. It is traditional that the male wolf will use the ten days to build the home that he and his mate will share together with his own bare hands.
Male wolves since a young age are taught carpentry and constructing skills for their homes at the very least, but some wolves are very talented and turn it into a trade making furniture, building, or sculptures like my grandfather did.
In return she wolves are to fashion the linens, towels, sheets, and all the fabric that will be needed for the household. Their also to create ceramic and clay pots, cups, plates, teapots, and every cooking utensil under the sun. We are also expected to weave many rugs for each of the separate rooms and many go ahead and design pups clothing for their future off spring.
I will also be expected to cultivate a garden like the one just outside my home for our future food supply.
In short we both will preparing for our life together. It is all so excited and exhilarating but overwhelming at the same time. I feel as if there is so much to do and that the ten day time frame is not enough. When I voiced my concern to my mother she simply laughed and said I am not the first she wolf to say so and to have accomplished none the less.
I do take some relief in that but my fate and mate ship is a little well more than a little different from the norm. I am so much older and my mate being from another pack, which is not unheard of but both of us being kin to alphas plus my overhanging destiny to produce the future alpha equals to a very unusual mate ship.
Then last the binding Ceremony will take place on October 9th the Hunters moon. It is night when the moon is full and aluminates the earth clearer than any other time of the year making it perfect for hunters. It is easier for wolfs to track and hunt their prey.
After the Star Bătrânii binds wolves to their mates in soul that is when the mates morph into their wolf form and go hunting together. After they share their freshly caught meal they retreat to their homes made together and consummate the binding by becoming one in body.
I blush at my last statement but then the hunting part relays in my mind and a fear as well as a very deep protected secret of mine surfaces. I Azalea am the oldest female in my pack to have finally received her mate, but I am also the only she wolf to have only once morphed into her wolf form.
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When Kader finally arrived as promised I was a bundle of nerves and anxiety over what to do about my secret. I so desperately want to tell him and confess my burden to help relieve my stress of keeping this to myself for so long.
This secret my mother does not even know the severity of. She knows of my first morphing as mothers are usally presence, but after that and everything that occurred she thought it was from grief and depression. I think she thought that I never wanted to again. The truth is I physically could not after many attempts over my years I still cannot call forth a major part of my being my second nature.
My mother invited Kader in for some breakfast which he accepted politely, he is so nice respectful. I am in my room looking myself over again in my mirror. I do not know how many times I have done this now, too many I am sure.
I have never been so concerned with my appearance before, but having Kader makes me very aware of how I act to how I look when I am around him. That also brings me to say the other reason I am hiding in my room. I do not know how to act with Kader so my solution is to hide in my room prolonging us being alone together. In the back of mind I am just praying I do not do anything foolish and embarrassing.
I hear my mother and Kader making small talk and debate whether I have spent far too long in the confines of my safe haven my room, or if I still can take a few extra minutes.
I sit on my bed but get right but up. I am at war with what to do go, stay, sit, stand but my mother's call decides for me. It forcing me trudging back to the kitchen to face her and my wonderful mate.
I am just going to have to try and be myself around my mate that is what everyone has always says that your mate is the one person whom you can be truly yourself with and will always love and accept you. I only knowing him not even a day am developing those devoted and unwavering feelings for him. I wonder he feels this way about me?
"Azalea are you ready to head out?" That rough timber voice is- just- perfect to me. I think he could ask anything of me as long as he never changed his voice.
I take a deep breath to settle myself "Yes, let's go."
My mother bid us goodbye but made sure Kader understood that I was to be home in two hours. She said it was because I had much to study; but I think she is hoping two hours isn't long enough to get into trouble with each other.
We began to walk toward the town square, Kader is a bit head of me and I follow without question. He is no longer shirtless or painted but he is wearing a light cotton white shirt that sculpts his frame attractively.
I keep my hands folded in front of me; not sure what to say, he said we should talk. I know I need to try and make the first move. I do not want this awkwardness between us.
"Um- so we have much to talk about but I do-
"Don't know where to begin?" He offers up and turns his head and slows his pace to match mine.
"Yes" I sigh. He knew what I wanted to say before I even finished my train of thought.
"Well we have many choices we just have to pick one and go from there." His voice sounds very nonchalant; isn't he concerned about how much responsibility we have to go through.
"Azalea, are you okay, you look a bit pale?" His voice changed completely it is filled with worry and concern. He grabs my arm and makes me stop. I avoid his gaze.
"Azalea you need to look at me. I cannot help you if you do not tell me what is wrong; are you feeling ill again, should we get you checked out by a healer?"
"No I do not feel sick I-I ju-just am stressed about all this everything that we must do what is expected of us; are you not worried or stressed do you not care?"
I am slightly shocked by my own bravery to confess my honest thoughts and feelings as well as being so upset by my mates uncaring attitude.
I hear Kader grumble out of annoyance or angry I am uncertain which one. But then once again he does something unexpected he envelopes me into his warm strong sturdy arms and brings me against me.
I still my body and let Kader coax me even more to him. Like his arms his abdomen is strong and sturdy very toned probably from many hours of running and strength training.
"I care, I just"he takes in a deep breath.
"I just do not want to stress myself out by thinking about everything all at once. I wish I had the answers to all your questions and mine but I don't. My father said we can discuss and decide everything tonight at your fathers."
I think it is a good idea we are not old enough or experienced enough to make the right decisions together. But what I do know is that you will not be alone I am here for anything you may need. I just you need to have complete faith and trust in me. Can you do that Azalea? Can you trust me no matter what happens?"
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Authors note: Not fully edit this chapter I am in a time crunch but please if you see any glaring mistakes do not hesitate to leave me a comment or message telling me where and what it is.
I do not know if I like this chapter as I do the others it feels off to me but it is your (fans) opinions that matters to me so please give me feedback and vote or comment if you wish. Thanks as always I love each and every one of you!
Oh and the pic is what Kader looks like, very dreamy in my opinion.