You kept going as long as you could, but the pain was literally killing you. It's crazy, you've been a hunter your whole life and now you were dying to fucking cancer. You've been close to death so many times already, supernatural sicknesses, bullet wounds, a reaper coming after you, and of course all the time angels and demons were chasing you. But you fought through everything. Until now. There was no cure. Nothing you could do. It was too late.
You've made peace with it long ago, but only told Dean and Sam as it was getting too obvious. On every hunt you ended up coughing blood and breathing stertorously.
Back when you were last checked by the doctors it was already stage four cancer, now, three weeks later, you only laid in bed sleeping all day, coughing constantly. On top of that came a very high fever, causing you to have hallucinations sometimes. Food and water was nauseous to you, so you quickly lost weight.
Hoping for it to be over soon, you made sure Dean and Sam wouldn't find you like this. Back when you still could walk properly, you left trails all over the country so they would get confused searching for you. Currently you were staying in a crappy motel, planning to breathe your last breath in here.
It was dishonoring for you to just die like that. Nothing supernatural, just a normal death caused by cancer. Especially in a dirty motel room like this one. You were sure they'd find you eventually here, leaving them notes and the few things you owned.
Exhausted you closed your eyes. The pain overwhelmed you, with a raspy voice you muttered under your breath, "I wanna die... please...."
To the sound of a car pulling up in front of your room, you fell into an uneasy sleep.
-Deans PoV-
I was retracking that son of a bitch for two months already, always finding empty motel rooms and confused people. How dared he telling us he was about to die and then take off like that. One thought was stuck in my head, he could already be dead. And I was still searching, I wouldn't know. Neither did Sam, who was three states away, because we decided to split up to get the search quicker done.
After another disappointing outcome of an address, I was sure the next one was the right one. It had to be. I would go crazy if I didn't find him anytime soon. He was family, maybe even more than that. Whatever. I gotta find him. Fast.
This motel was my last hope, nervously I approached the young girl at the front desk. She seemed to be new at this job, because she still looked motivated.
Smiling widely she greeted me, "Heya! What can I do for ya?"
Pushing my worries away, I returned her overdone smile, "Well hey there", I quickly looked at her name tag, "Hailey! You know... me and my buddies, we really got wasted a few weeks ago... I think one of them checked in here. He must've been pretty exhausted, probably had problems getting air. He... erm... he has asthma, you know?", I awkwardly smiled at her.
"Oh wait!", quickly I pulled a picture of (Y/N) out of my jacket and slid it over the counter to her.
She picked it up and took a look at it, sighing she handed it back. "Look, I'm sorry, but I don't remember him checking in here. Is there anything else I can do for you? It's pretty late already, you should get some sleep."
"No... no, it's fine. Thanks anyways."
Frustrated I pushed the door open and flopped down onto the drivers seat. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I started to call Sammy. I didn't know what to do anymore.
"Yeah?"
"Hey, Sammy."
"Dean. Did you find him?!"
Pinching the bridge of my nose I answered exhausted, "No. Just checked the last address I got. What about you?"
I heard him sigh on the other end of the line, "Pretty much the same. I'm running out of ideas, Dean."
"Yeah I know, Sam. But we gotta keep looking."
"Don't you think he already could-"
"Shut your mouth Sam. (Y/N)'s not-... He's a fighter, like us. He's not gonna die. Not on my watch."
"But Dean, we have to consider it. Look, I don't like it anymore than you do. Hell; we've lost too much already. This is nothing supernatural, Dean. This is what life is, and- and sometimes you just can't fix it."
"You don't know that. It- it could be some kinda creepy ass voodoo. O-or an angel thing? You know what kinda dickheads they are!"
I was getting louder with each sentence, I didn't want to fight with Sam right now, but I was so fed up with this whole situation. I didn't know what to do. I was helpless, couldn't control myself.
"Dean you've done enough for the past few days. I bet you didn't get any sleep. Promise me you'll stop at the next motel and get a room."
After I didn't respond he kept talking, "(Y/N) would want you to. You know how protective he can get. Get some rest. You can't help him if you're half asleep."
"Alright."
Sighing I tossed my phone on the passenger seat. Turning the music up I drove full speed until the next motel.
Only the second I threw the keys onto the bed, I noticed how tired I actually was. Leaning against the headboard I tried to silence my thoughts. My head was screaming at me that it was my fault if (Y/N) died right now. I should keep searching.
Frustrated I got up again, getting my flask out of the duffel bag. As I felt the burning liquid run down my throat I relaxed a bit, knowing it would help me forget. At least for a few hours.
With the flask in my hand I paced up and down the little room, like a tiger in it's cage. Eventually I stopped to look out of the window. It was dark outside, the leaves rustling in the wind. I was about to turn around again and pick up my self loathing where I stopped. But I saw a very familiar back of a car peaking through the bushes in the headlights of a passing car. That couldn't be it. It had to belong to someone else. But who would hide their car between trees and bushes?