→ CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT; POWER.
[quick authors note; please go and check out @tommysmutnothingbut work because they are absolutely amazing like one of the best writers on here + please leave feedback!!]
The murder of Father Hughes rocked through the convent, sending the nuns into mourning and prayers became louder and more communal. Memorials were held, with burning white candles and flowers and prayers that Hannah was forced to attend to stop suspicious behaviour arising. She felt as if she was betraying Michael by attending the vigil that was dedicated to Father Hughes but what was she to do? Not turn up and have the sister's spite her for God knows how long.
Hannah had to sit back and smile graciously, keep her delight for Father Hughes demise to the privacy of her bedroom when she was away from everybody else. The nuns and church were mourning the death of someone cherished in the religious community, but they remained ignorantly unaware of the sickening and sinful acts that Father Hughes committed during his time of serving God. Father Hughes was a waste of a life and it was sad to think that his title could have been given to someone more commendable who would have done more society, not ruin people's lives by being down right disgusting and a disgrace to God himself.
Alexandra had noticed Hannah's withdrawal from the group, but she thought nothing of it, thinking that she was perhaps unhappy because the orphanage idea would harder to accomplish now that a powerful man was not by her side. Hannah nodded when Alexandra brought this up to her and shut the conversation down before it got too deep and Hannah ended up suffering from some nervous breakdown because of everything that had piled on within such a short few weeks.
The orphanage would still go ahead, with or without anybody's else. Hannah was an intellectual woman with brains like no other, she would make it work somehow and hopefully, Michael would be by her side when she cut to the ribbon to welcome orphaned children a place of protection. That was if he made any attempt to contact her. It had been two weeks since their argument in the garden and Hannah was missing him, more than what she wished she did. His crimes had been committed, and she had to move on from that and believe him when he said that he did not want to murder anymore men. It was a hard thing to process in Hannah's eyes - how was she supposed to look at Michael again knowing that he put a bullet through a man in London? Father Hughes she could accept - if she was brave enough, she would have done it herself - but she couldn't forgive him for killing somebody else.
"It really is a shame about Father Hughes. I just don't understand why someone would kill an innocent man dead in the middle of a religious place. It sickens me," Sister Maria said as she angrily places medicine bottles into her medical bag, the sound of the glass clinking making Hannah more and more frustrated. All the nurses and nuns were stood around the large table, discussing the preparations for Father Hughes funeral which Hannah would most likely have to attend. "Who did it? That's what I want to know. They say that it could possibly be a man who is against the religious ideology, but I find that to be silly. What do you think?"
"I think that we should all shut up about Father Hughes and focus on the mothers. We have three mothers due today, every one of them first timers," Hannah spoke with a firm tone, not daring to make eye contact with anyone else. She was fed up of everyone speaking about Father Hughes as if he was some brilliant man who did wonders for society and Small Heath. If only they knew the truth. Hannah couldn't tell everyone about the abuse that poor children suffered from, including her own husband-to-be, because of Father Hughes as it would be against Michael's wishes and it wasn't her story to tell but it was becoming harder to keep her mouth shut.
Alexandra poked her elbow into Hannah's side and shook her head, wordlessly warning Hannah of what could happen if she continued to be bad-mannered towards the Sister's. Hannah should have been fired by now for the amount of times she had made up excuses, the whole escapade with Mr. Maxwell who was still recovering in hospital and the situation with Michael but for some odd reason, she was still there, and Hannah was not complaining about it. The unfriendliness would fade away eventually.
"Father Hughes was a respected man with - "
"Father Hughes might have been a respected man but it does not make him a good one."
A few shocked gasps came from a couple of the nurses, but no one dared to say anything. After what felt like hours, Hannah finally looked up at Sister Maria and through her eyes, told her that she wasn't going to take back the comment.
"And what do you mean by that, Hannah?" Sister Margaret asked, her voice softer than what Sister Maria's would have been if she had asked the question. Everyone had always said that Sister Margaret had a soft spot for Hannah and it was somewhat true. She felt as if she had to protect Hannah from all the bad things that would unquestionably come her way.
Hannah tore his gaze away from Sister Maria and smiled at Sister Margaret before shrugging her shoulders. "That is for me to know and for you to never find out."
"Alright, that's enough now," Alexandra blurted out before anyone could interrupt her. "I think it's time that we get back to our jobs, does everybody agree? As acting sister today at the clinic, I want everyone to be nice and not argue for once. There's some obvious tension floating around today, and I hope that you will all - " Alexandra stopped to look back and forth between Hannah and Sister Maria before continuing. " - sort this out because we don't not want the mothers to be on edge either."
"There is no tension. Just ignorance from certain people," Hannah responded, shrugging her shoulders casually as she grabbed her heavy medical bag off the counter. "I have a few rounds to do before clinic, so I will see you then."
Everyone watched as Hannah walked away from the room, her heart racing from fear. It was very rare that Hannah argued with anybody or replied with sly remarks, but she was agitated this morning and being a little bit grumpy with the nurses and nuns would release the bad energy. However, it was probably not the wisest idea considering the Sisters were the reason for Hannah's employment at the convent.
"It's ever since she's been seeing that Michael. When she first arrived in Small Heath, she was the sweetest girl in the world and now she is nothing but a young woman, full of arrogance and irritation," Sister Maria said, a part of her sad because Hannah had changed so much in her eyes. Hannah hadn't changed at all, at least not for the worst, she was just fed up of hearing everyone speaks so remarkably about Father Hughes when he was the worst kind of human possible.
"I believe that Hannah and Michael are going through some issues and have been for a few months now. Once things have resolved themselves between the two, Hannah will go back to normal. She just needs time to process whatever is going on inside of her;" Betty said casually, not realising that she had made something click inside of Sister Maria's brain.
"When you say a few months, are you referring to when Hannah and Father Hughes started to work together on their orphanage and fundraising ideas?" Sister Maria asked, her fingernails tapping against the metal counter impatiently.
"I believe so."
Sister Maria huffed before smiling widely. "Well, that's interesting now, isn't it?"
+++
For the whole morning, Hannah had been thinking about Michael. It was hard to concentrate on anything other than Michael considering all the bad things that were happening in her life and the fatal mistakes that had led to the downfall in their once perfect relationship, but Hannah had no choice but to slip it to the back of her mind and focus on delivering Mrs. Jones baby.
"A baby boy," Hannah exclaimed, smiling widely for the first time in a while as she cut the cord. Hannah wrapped the new born in a blanket and handed him over to his mother who was smiling with pride. "He's beautiful."
"They all are," Mrs. Jones mumbled, one thumb rubbing over the cheek of her child. "Thank you, Nurse Anderson. Thank you."
"No need to thank me, I am just doing my job."
Mrs. Jones chuckled before nodding her head and laying back a little as she continued to admire the baby in her arms. About fifteen minutes of silence passed, Hannah humming a tune and occasionally making comments as she packed her things away and tided up, Mrs. Jones just in complete and utter awe but the silent bliss vanished when Mrs. Jones spoke.
"I was down at the shops the other day and I overheard some girls gossiping about Michael - " Mrs. Jones paused and waited for Hannah's permission to continue. " - they were saying that he was responsible for the death of the man from the church. I don't know how true it is and I don't want to spread rumours, but I thought that you should know considering he's your partner."
Hannah smiled softly - it was all going to come out eventually and all she could do was deny it. "I wouldn't believe what everyone says on the street because half of them have no-idea about the real world."
Mrs. Jones chuckled. "Amen to that. I reckon it was a bunch of the toffs from the posh area of town. Anyway, it's none of my business what goes on with the Shelby's. As long as they don't come running for me."
It was a harmless joke that Mrs. Jones made but it got Hannah wondering - did they have any limits? Hannah was unaware of all the things that the Shelby's had done, preferring to not know anything, which was the best for her mentally but a small part of her was curious. The Shelby's would go down in Birmingham history for the crimes that they had committed, the obstacles that they had gone over and the empire that they had built, which meant that the truth about the Blinders would eventually come out, all the while, Hannah would remain unaware of it all. A part of her was desperate to find out the facts, learn more about Michael's childhood, the boy's father and other information but she feared that it would mean the end of their relationship.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Is all of this worth it?" Hannah scoffed, which was not directed towards Mrs. Jones, and waved her arms around in the air. "Ah, just ignore me. I've been having a bad morning."
"I didn't mean to make it worse."
Hannah shook her head and continued to put away the medical equipment. "You haven't made it worse at all. In fact, you've made it a lot better."
Hannah strolled over to where Mrs. Jones was laid and admired the baby from her spot, a true beauty. Hannah once had her future planned out with Michael - kids, a nice house, a decent job which wouldn't involve violence, booze, drugs or murder - but it all seemed to be fading away because of the idiotic actions that Michael took to impress Tommy.
"I best be getting off because I need to see a few more mothers. If anything happens then just ring the convent but if not, I'll see you tomorrow morning."
Mrs. Jones smiled at Hannah and allowed her to leave, her focus turning to her husband once he had entered the bedroom.
The rest of the morning went rather quick, Hannah busying herself with midwifery duties and putting Michael and Father Hughes to the back of her mind for a short amount of time, so she could concentrate properly. Hannah was managing to do a good job of forgetting about Michael temporarily but of course, he had to somehow make his way back to her but this time it was in physical form, not mentally.
"What are you doing here?" Hannah asked, grabbing Michael's hand with her free hand and dragging him across the street and away from where the clinic was being held. "You can't just show up outside of my work after basically telling me that you wanted nothing to do with me."
Michael groaned and ripped his hand away from Hannah's. "I didn't mean a fucking word of it, alright? I was angry and not in the right frame of mind and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. That was wrong of me and I know it now."
"Wrong of you? That's a bleeding understatement." Hannah turned away from Michael, afraid to look in his eyes because of the sadness that she would see. He had been through enough and didn't want any more arguments with Hannah, but she wasn't going to let him off lightly. "I don't know how to act around you anymore. I'm constantly afraid that I am going to say the wrong thing and upset you. That and the fact that I am going to be constantly worrying about you for a long time to come because of your irresponsible actions."
Michael sighed and tried to reach out for Hannah's touch, but she pulled away and shook her head. "I didn't come here to discuss what happened in London, alright? I am here to talk about us and how we can move forward. That period of my life is over and done with now and the only thing that I truly want is you, my wife-to-be."
The mentioning of the word wife had Hannah scoffing. "Wife? That's funny. From what I can remember, I was just a distraction and nothing else."
"You are being bitter."
"No, I'm not. Do you have anything else to say or can I get back to my job? I have more important things to be dealing with that don't involve you for once."
It was Michael's turn to look wounded because of Hannah's words, he had fully trapped her without meaning to do so. Hannah had once been in love with her job, but he had taken it away from her because of his own actions. She loved him, more than she had ever loved anything and anyone, but he was ruining her every time he choose the business side of his life over his personal. She was on the verge of losing her job, all because she cared for Michael too much and couldn't say no to him and Michael did not want that to be the case - he wanted Hannah to be in love with both him and the midwifery, but he was taking that away from her without realising.
"I never meant to hurt you," Michael quickly said, wanting to get his thoughts out there before Hannah fully walked away. "It was the last thing that I ever wanted to do."
Hannah knew that Michael was telling the truth. "And I never wanted to hurt you. There's just too much going on in your life right now, and mine, and we both have issues that need resolving but we can't do it together."
Trying his luck one last time, Michael pressed one hand against Hannah's cheek and pulled her in for a light kiss. To his surprise, she didn't pull away and reacted back by pressing her lips harder against Michael's, showing him how much she had missed him without vocalising it.
"Let me see you tonight where we can talk about this properly. I'm not giving up on us, Hannah."
"I - "
Michael interrupted Hannah by raising his hand in the air before pulling out an old scrap bit of paper and a pencil. Michael rested the piece of paper against the wall and wrote down the address of a familiar building before handing it to Hannah.
"Remember that cafe that we went to when we first met? It was actually the night after we had first met and - "
"I remember."
Michael cleared his throat awkwardly before handing Hannah the paper. "I'll be waiting if you are willing to come."
authors note; heyyy so i managed to get an update written during this hectic time. ONLY TWO MORE WEEKS BEFORE UPDATES BECOME A LOT MORE REGULAR AND TRUST ME, THERE'S SOME JUICY STUFF COMING UP SO PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME.
i'm gonna take a guess and say the next chapter wont be up for a few weeks because exams are starting on monday for two weeks and also, the next chapter is gonna have some smut n its been a while since i wrote it so pls bare with me on that but i might do a cute lil mini chapter before that if i get the time!!
thank u for the still being here + pls vote, comment n leave lovely feedback. thank uuu xo