"Did you hear that?!"a long haired girl whispered to her seatmate. Her seatmate's mouth turned agape, as if she her soul was lost.
"Psssshh...that's impossible,"
"You're right. Strong and athletic person like her,"
"She's kidding us right?"
The class went riot. It's started with 'How are you everyone? I want to tell something important to you guys,' ended with a long speech 'Well, the point is I want to live my life normally like other highschool student. Eventhough I *sigh* got sentenced having HIV AIDS because of the incident when I was in sixth grade,' and continued with a lecture from their angelic teacher Mrs. Kim who said that HIV can't spread with only staring, holding hands, smiling or the person was only in between them as long as there's no blood and genital juices' contact. Years ago there was a student who have HIV AIDS too and because of technology of treatment is already modern and medicine's knowledge is already improved so he can live healthy until now, he graduated from high school with so many friends and living his normal life. Mrs.Kim hoped that everybody can accept Tzuyu's condition and socialize normally like usual.
"Do you guys willing to accept my existence?"Tzuyu asked, there's no polite tone in her voice, just a Tzuyu like usual but more friendly. Once again the class went crowded. Tzuyu just smiled quietly. She was always composed. Her life is way harder ever since before she knew that she is suffering with AIDS.
"Of course Tzuyu,"a sweet and confidence voice cracked the crowd and the silent of Tzuyu who is staring at the crowd in front of her. Tzuyu's eyes were looking at the sparkling big eyes and petite girl who is sitting on the second row seat, Park Jihyo.
Tzuyu smiled when everyone were welcoming Jihyo's answer. Thank's to Jihyo. Thank you. Everyone was right that saying Jihyo is an angel. Tzuyu let a relieved sigh and went back to her seat after Mrs. Kim let her to sit. Tzuyu wasn't aware of a strong gaze from someone who was looking at her the whole time without any expression ever since she had her speech, he just kept silent.
***
'Tzuyu you're not kidding right?'
'Tzuyu, are you alright the whole time?'
'Tzuyu, how are you?'
"Tch!"
'Tzuyu, can we talk?'
'Tzuyu, I'll kill you if you're kidding! Your joke is not funny!'
Taehyung wanted to swallow Tzuyu wholly . At least, it was a clear description of his gaze ever since Tzuyu confessed about her condition until the bell of recess time rang. Tzuyu will leave the class, maybe she wanted to see Sana or Myungsoo.
This is the right time, Taehyung thought.
Pull Tzuyu when she passed Taehyung's seat, pull and bring her to the rooftop or garden or wherever they can have private talk. After they're alone, bombard her with a thousand questions and confessions. Kim Taehyung couldn't be played. But Kim Taehyung should ask for a forgiveness for what he had done to Tzuyu.
Tzuyu was walking comfortably leaving a cold wind which stabbed Taehyung's nape. Too cold. Her treatment is.
"Tsk, she doesn't change eventhough she said she's sick,"Taehyung hissed to himself. Then he stomped his feet hardly to stand up and leaving to somewhere.
***
"You're the cruel one,"
Sana widened her teary eyes upon hearing Yoongi's words.
"Let go of him if you don't want to suffer,"finally Yoongi moved from her body and sat on the edge of the bed.
"Yoongi what are you talking about?"she got confused.
"Let go of him Sana. Just, let go!"Yoongi answered with full emotion. Sana had never seen Yoongi got too emotional. She had never seen another expression of Yoongi except his expressionless or full of hatred face.
"What is my mistake Yoongi? Why are you so hard to me?"Sana asked, holding her another tears to not bursted out like an oppressed water bag.
Sana widened her eyes once again when she felt her neck got strangled, very strong and she felt her throat was hurt a lot. Yoongi's big hand was strangling Sana's neck, with only his one hand until Sana's back was pinned on the wall behind her. Her mouth was opened and closed, opened and closed taking a breath in grimace with teary eyes.
A second he gave tenderness to Sana. Then just in a second too Yoongi treated her as if he wanted to kill her.
"If you don't want anything bad happened to you, let him go!!!"Yoongi snapped at her after he realized that he almost kill Sana, Yoongi let go of her neck. When Sana was holding Yoongi's wrist, trying to let go of his hand, Sana's sweater sleeves were rolling down and showing the long scar made by Seulgi's razor. Yoongi sniffed upon seeing that.
"What you've already got is nothing Minatozaki Sana. Stop before you got destroyed,"Yoongi stood up while tidying his shirt and controlling his watery eyes before he leave the –once again- crying Sana. Sana was crying with heavy heart and confusion. Yoongi Yoongi...what do you want actually? Does he want to protect Sana or he want to protect something else?
His heart. His heart maybe?
Wait. Who is Yoongi's heart?
Sana couldn't think again. She was too oppressed until she just spent the rest time by crying.
***
"I thought you go to Mr. Kim Myungsoo,"Taehyung sneaked both of his hands inside his pocket. Tzuyu who was staring at the blue sky got a little surprised by Taehyung's arrival. Taehyung quickly caught a crystal drop on the corner of Tzuyu's eyes. Taehyung played his feet as if he was playing with his shoe sole, he just stared at the floor. He was thinking about what will he say to crying Tzuyu.
"Leave,"Tzuyu started the conversation after a long silence between them. Taehyung lifted his face to have a clear sight of Tzuyu. Tzuyu was still staring at the sky.
"Tzuyu...,"
"I'm used with being abandoned. I'm more used with leaving too. So leave,"Tzuyu said.
"I can still fight for my life,"she continued.
Taehyung's heart were chipped and hurt a lot. Who know Tzuyu the most in this world? It's Kim Taehyung. Who don't know about Tzuyu's life history? Everyone but Taehyung. The abandoned child who has problematic parents, the Tzuyu who tried to leave them but failed, the Tzuyu who felt lonelier when her childhood bestfriend gradually drew a distance from her until she really got ignored, the Tzuyu who left her old life, the Tzuyu who has no idea which one who will leave –she or her already married boyfriend.
All the time, Tzuyu successfully went through her hardest times. The girl who was raised in unhappy circle and eventually made her brutal personality at least is able to fight for her life like Sana wanted. Tzuyu is still alive eventhough she wanted to kill her self for uncounting times.
Does Taehyung know? Does Taehyung realize? Does Taehyung still care with her? Who is Taehyung to Tzuyu and who is Tzuyu to Taehyung right now?
When she was thinking about that, Tzuyu could feel her tears fell to the floor but she was already in a warm embrace. Taehyung's.
"*sobs*...,"Tzuyu tried to hold her tears. It's been a very long time she hadn't in Taehyung's embrace again. When they were kid, she used to run to Taehyung's embrace, to cry or just being excited with something. The little Tzuyu once thought that eventhough in her own house she felt rejected but in Taehyung's embrace, she felt like home. A long time ago.
Tzuyu immediately pushed Taehyung with all of her strength when she remembered exactly how Taehyung threw his face away from the old Tzuyu who was really, really –while looking at Taehyung with pleading eyes- wishing for a protection from Taehyung. But he abandoned her.
"You jerk. You're the source of all sorrows in this world!"Tzuyu then ran away while wiping her tears, leaving the frozen Taehyung. Taehyung was standing for a while, freezing while recalling his past. His dark past when he broke Tzuyu's heart.
The young Taehyung was too naïve for making a decision.
Taehyung's knee got weakened and he fell down after a while digging his past. If only the decision he made back then was to pull Tzuyu under his protection, Taehyung would never have a deep big regret like this.
***
Sana was still daydreaming in her bed, the mark from Yoongi's hand is reddened on her pale skin. No, Sana didn't feel hurt at all in her neck. Sana didn't feel hurt in her heart too. This girl is dull. She's too dull to feel something sadder and hurter than she had been felt. Maybe one day Yoongi will kiss her again and then really will kill her. Sana was recalled with the events in the past when the girls showered her with dirty water, locked in toilet or wounded by Seulgi's razor but what kind of bully that more sadistic than Yoongi did?
Yoongi is a guy. A guy who actually supposed to protect the woman or the weaker one. Especially Yoongi was personally asked by Jimin to watch over her, protect her and make sure Sana is away from harms instead of hurting and harassing her. Yoongi stabbed from the back. With unknown motive. Yoongi is like a beast who got the best place at his hierarchy to eat his prey. The closest one, the safest and most painful one.
"Sana ...,"
Sana lifted her head to found Jimin was already standing beside her bed. Sana wiped her tears quickly and smiled widely to Jimin. Jimin caught the crystal drop on her eyes and immediately hold her shoulder.
"What 's wrong, Baby?"Jimin asked panickly. Sana shook her head quickly and gave him her best smile. She didn't want to make Jimin worry right now as she remembered of bruise in Jimin's fist very quick.
"My head is a bit heavy but I'm okay,"Sana wiped her another tears who passed down her cheek. Shit, her tears just can't stop! The more Sana realize there's Jimin right here right now who's ready to protect her the merrier Sana felt weak. Sana hated that. She hated to make Jimin worry about her.
"You sure? Are you really sick? Let's go to hospital,"
Sana shook her head and reached both of Jimin's hands.
"Oppa, answer my question this morning,"Sana said softly. Now it's Jimin turn to get confuse how to hide what happened to him.
"I just a little bit careless, too hard while practiced boxing,"Jimin half lied. Indeed the cause was he punched the sandbag too hard, without boxing gloves but he wasn't practicing last night. Jimin was let out of his anger.
"Oppa, do you boxing?"Sana asked in surprise, there's admiration tone in her question and the innocent Sana is easily forget everything that made her head hurt a while ago. Jimin nodded, smiled gently – in relief to be exact.
"Why? Do you like boxing?"Jimin asked while caressing Sana's silky hair.
"I like seeing guy who likes sport. I think it's cool. Boxing is cool too! So cool! But, don't be careless again Oppa,"Sana rubbed Jimin's hands like a little kid, she looked innocent as if she was trying to cure his wound. After a while rubbing Jimin's hands, Sana kissed her bruised fist very softly and hummed something while smiling innocently. Jimin kept silent as he followed what Sana does to him, making him smile. Sana is back like she was before. Innocent, delicate and as if there's no worries in her world.
"What were you humming about?"Jimin asked, leaned his face closer to Sana. Sana was almost jump in shock because of Jimin's sudden move, made her nervous as he grabbed her palms, making her can not move from her position.
"Eung...eum...get well soon my...my...,"
"My?" Jimin asked, he surely liked to tease this innocent girl.
"My...,"Sana's face flushed. Reddened like a lobster.
"My what?"Jimin whispered, his voice was tempting. Sana gulped her saliva, couldn't face her boyfriend's loading charms.
"Love...,"Sana whispered, almost couldn't heard except for Jimin.
"Say it completely and clearly, Baby,"Jimin held his happy smile. Sana closed her eyes, feeling nervous, she gulped her saliva again but she was ready. She's ready to make Jimin happy. At least if it can erase Jimin's worries and cure the wound in his hands.
"Get well soon my love...,"
Jimin pulled Sana into his embrace very quickly. He was feeling happy as Sana was too shocked but she immediately laughed. Happy, relieved, joy. This is Sana's place. In Jimin's embrace, in Jimin's heart. How could Sana let go of Jimin? The person Sana was searching for the whole time. The person who will cry if Sana's gone, the person who can protect her in this harsh world.
No matter what will happen, I would never let go of this hands.
Sana already decided. She won't afraid for anything again. Until the end of the world nor the last tears and bloods' drop, Sana would never leave Jimin. Eventhough her body nor her heart will get destroyed like Yoongi warned her, Sana will never care anymore.
The rest of recess time, Jimin and Sana shared their tenderness with a long and deep kiss. Teasing each other and kissing again. Little did they know that someone was standing the whole time behind the curtain, witnessed what happened between Sana and Jimin. The person formed a fist and holding the tears.
***
Tzuyu could lose her minds if she saw Kim Taehyung any longer. That's why she immediately leave Taehyung and went to other place. All the protection wall and plans that Tzuyu already made can be destroyed if she saw Taehyung. No. It can't be happening. Tzuyu is determined to fight her disease and to live forgetting all the bitterness in her life to stay alive with this deadly disease. If there's Taehyung urged to come inside her already built concept, Tzuyu was sure everything will be destroyed. Tzuyu would never can control her temperament everytime she's with Taehyung.
"Oppa,"Tzuyu closed the music room door which always empty in recess time.
Kim Myungsoo was sitting in front of piano when Tzuyu entered. He stood up upon seeing his student. Tzuyu smiled and jogged to her lover, gave a peck on the handsome teacher's lips. This is their secret place. The secret place everytime this secret lovers spent their time together at school and where everything began.
Tzuyu remembered exactly how she was involved with Myungsoo's life or for exactly how Myungsoo was involved in Tzuyu's life. It was the first month after Tzuyu got registered to this school. Myungsoo was already interested with the beautiful and cold Tzuyu. For Myungsoo, Tzuyu has something mutual with him. As if their hearts were already frozen for a long time but they insisted to continue their life. Ever since he was born, Myungsoo wanted to be a guitaris and joined a group band but he should accept his 'fate' that made by his parents, to be a professor like them and making the best high school in South Korea as his first step. Myungsoo was already fed up when the last time his parents arranged a marriage to their relation's daughter, Myungsoo tried to run away from his house but he failed, ended with him getting married and eventually gave a grandaughter to their parents. Until finally Myungsoo met Tzuyu, Myungsoo learned about what love is.
'I found we're similar,'
It was the first words Tzuyu said when they had an accidental privat time in this music room. Little did Myungsoo knew, Tzuyu was already studying about Myungsoo, this guy is similar to her. He's apathetic with life. Then they were like universes that collided and opened their heart and minds to each other. They accepted each other. It was not too long until they realized that the feeling of completing each other's space and having mutual understanding were already passed beyond the line. Their sympathy was already passed to the next step. Love.
Tzuyu could tell that Myungsoo is the second person who opened her heart. Tzuyu couldn't avoid to not falling in love with Myungsoo. Myungsoo too, couldn't hold his feeling eventhough it means he will betray Naeun, his wife. They went through their secret relationship in joy and sorrow. Until Tzuyu was sure that Myungsoo would never leave her.
"Tzuyu-ah, about what you talk last night...I want you to forget about that,"Myungsoo who was already standing near the window, was backing Tzuyu. Tzuyu blinked her eyes once. A thick slience were surrounding the room.
"Oppa, are you serious with what you say?"Tzuyu tried to smile, mocking at Myungsoo who was staring outside the window after she didn't get a future explanation from what this guy said.
"I have family Tzuyu, moreover...,"Myungsoo bit his lower lip tightly before he say something that hurt Tzuyu a lot.
"The infected baby will only suffering if born to this world,"
Tzuyu felt her world was collapsed. Destroyed. The protection walls were cracking down. Where's justice for a creature who only want to live normally in this world? Where's humanity that supposed to be in every aspect of Tzuyu's life? Tzuyu acted like a delinquent without mercy broken home girl, she loves like a slut who have no pride again, and she is like a faded sunflower who tried to be freshened again after she accepted the fact that she's dying. Broken. Broken. Broken. Too broken! Tzuyu felt to die for the hundred times.
"JUST KILL ME OPPA!!!! KILL ME!!!!!"Tzuyu lost her minds. She smacked Myungsoo's body who could only standing frozen in his place, resigned with every Tzuyu's hit. Resigned accepting every Tzuyu's tantrums and anger so he could be forgiven huh?
Last night this girl said that the result of her test pack showed she's positive pregnant. Tzuyu even tried to test herself twice after she was late for one month. She told Myungsoo with happiness to deliver the baby to the world and raise the baby. She's ready to halt her school if her bump was already bigger. Wishing that she can build a happy small family with the man she love and one day she can get Myungsoo only for her. Wasn't Myungsoo ever said that he want to be released by his current life and live peacefully with Tzuyu? But why now...
"I'm sorry Tzuyu. I can't leave Naeun and Haneul. They need me,"Myungsoo said feeling resigned and powerless when Tzuyu continued hitting his body.
"I'M THE ONE WHO NEED YOU THE MOST OPPA!!!! IT'S ME!!! I...i...I need you more...HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"Tzuyu was really devastated. Life is indeed so harsh. How cruel the fate she must accept. Now even Myungsoo threw her away. When Tzuyu is dying and need help the most.