Tzuyu never imagined that her life will be miserable like this. Tragic. Ironic. Saddening.
"Why even I was born?"Tzuyu mumbled while staring at the ceilings.
"Why came to this world if I could never feel happy?"she asked again.
*SMACK*!!!!!
"YOU SLUT! HOW MANY TIMES I SAID TO NOT TOUCHING MY STUFF!!!!"
"ARGH!!!!! I DID THAT BECAUSE THEY SAID YOU WERE WITH YOUR SECRETARY!"
"THAT'S NOT YOUR BUSSINESS BITCH!"
"ARGHHHH!!!"
"Tsk...again and again,"Tzuyu closed her earlobes with headset. She played Because of You from Kelly Clarkson with the highest volume. Deafening her ears. Maybe could eventually destroy her eardrum faster. But it's better than hearing her mother's scream being tormented by his psychopath father.
"WHERE'S THAT ILLEGITIMATE CHILD?!!!! CHOU TZUYU?!!!!"
*SLAMMED DOOR*
Tzuyu almost jumped and dragged her ass to stand up and rested her back againts the wall. Watching the monster who entered her room. Clearly to let go all of his anger to the poor child after unsatisfied hitting the mother. Tzuyu couldn't remember that there's people who told her that she was born because of accident or she was not her own father's blood. Gosh, whatever came out from her father's mouth was only bad and negative words.
"WHY ARE YOU KEEP BEING HERE HUH?!!!!"the man tried to slap Tzuyu's face but Tzuyu was faster. She was successfully avoid the slap.
"HOW DARE YOU AVOID ME!!!!!"Tzuyu ran away from her father before he catch her and hit her like before. Tzuyu was running in the freezing night all alone by herself. She had no idea where to go. What would she do. Tzuyu just didn't want to comeback.
***
Sana remembered exactly that it was Jun who gave her chocolate and ice cream. She never asked him to give her that nor she ever asked anyone else too. Sana was covering her face with her palms, trying to protect her face which people said it was so pretty and cute. Unfortunately, there's more people who hate her face.
"Just die!!!"
Sana could feel her body is showered by cold water in that freezing winter day. Sana gritted her teeth, shivering and freezing. She felt her head was pushed harshly by the girls and her long hair was pulled until she screamed in pain. Some of them tried to pull Sana's hands so they can slap her face but Sana insisted to protect her face. Who want to go to school with swollen face?
"You're really stubborn! Ok, as punishment because you flirted with Jun, you will stay a night here. Hahahaha!"
Then the girls left her and locked the rooftop door. Sana hugged her legs, freezing. Her body was soaking wet and she just wore uniform with wet blazer, scraft, gloves and socks. Her body was shivering so much and she was thinking whether 10 hours later she can still meet sunrise. If she couldn't make it then she will be definitely die freezing at rooftop.
Ah...they're so cruel. This is for the umpteenth times she got bullied. Sana already experienced this bully ever since she was at fourth grade. Now she couldn't count again how many times she got bullied and she was already in first year of senior high school.
***
*SLAMMED DOOR*
Tzuyu fell silent. She fell silent because she felt terrified. In the middle of the night there's something wadded in the corner. What was that? Ghost? Human?
Tzuyu didn't dither and chose to approach the whatever that thing is and she wished it is a human. The alive one.
"Hey, are you ok?"Tzuyu cracked her voice. Something turned around. Ah, it was a human. And she is...
"You!"
🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹
Tzuyu was running without knowing where she is going to. She wanted to run away from her life. Eventhough she couldn't run away from this world at least she wanted to get out from this tightening life.
Maybe Tzuyu was already crazy. Maybe Tzuyu was already losing her mind and found deathend. Now she was already standing on the bridge's fence. Winter's wind in the night was stabbing her bone. Tzuyu was looking at the river under her feet. If only...if only the water under the bridge could engulfed her body at once maybe she will die in two ways. First, she will die because of running out of air. Second, die caused by hypothermia due the too cold water which will freeze her.
Tzuyu was ready with both. But suddenly she remembered someone who made her heart heavy to leave this world. He was Tzuyu's bestfriend ever since Tzuyu could remember something in this world. Their mom said they were already together since they're baby. He was the only one who can make her world brighten after the darkness she received at her home. But now she was just too depressed. They're just children and have no idea what to do. Eventhough Tzuyu really wanted to run to his place but Tzuyu won't drag him to enter her misery.
Tzuyu breathed in then she breathed out. She closed her eyes, ready to jump into the river, she took another breath.
"Goodbye...Ta-,"
"YAH!!!!!!"
Tzuyu could feel a pair of small arms tried to hug her legs, pulled her to the back causing Tzuyu fell down. Both of them fell to the ground. Tzuyu couldn't blink her eyes. She didn't fell into the freezing river. She fell into a warm and soft small body, just like her. Tzuyu turned her head around and a pretty and cute face with fair skin cringed in pain. Maybe because her body fell directly to the ground and she held Tzuyu's body on top of hers.
"What the hell are you doing?!!!!"Tzuyu yelled as she quickly stood up from the little girl's body.
"You! What are you thinking about?!"she asked frantically. She quickly grabbed Tzuyu's wrist again, being aware that Tzuyu may be foolish to jump into the river again.
"That's not your fuckin' business!"Tzuyu snapped.
"It's indeed not my business about what your problem is! But seeing someone want to kill herself in front of my eyes, clearly I can't let it happen!"the little girl was yelling too at Tzuyu. Tzuyu was dumbfounded by her rebuttals, her voice was so cute so soft but she didn't meant to yell at Tzuyu but she wanted to emphasized all of her words that she was serious.
"You!"Tzuyu glared at the little girl.
"You must learn how to ignore other people's business. You may be dragged into their problem!"Tzuyu said furiously.
"You're right. But you must learn too how to appreciate the life that's given to you. Eventhough how hard your life is. Eventhough how bad it is until everyday you only can cry and got hurt. There's always someone who can protect you in this world, there's someone who will cry if you're gone. So, don't die! If you haven't met that person yet, go find it! Never stop to find that person. That's what we call with fight for your life! Don't ever think to die again!"
Tzuyu couldn't say anything or even breathing while listening to the kid's words. She was even got dumbfounded when she felt a small body hugged her body tightly.
This kid is so warm, she thought.
🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹
"You?!"Tzuyu couldn't belive her eyes.
Sana lifted her face to see who come in the middle of night at rooftop. Her eyes rounded in disbelief. She felt familiar with the girl in front of her but she had no idea where or who is this girl.
"You're that kid right?! The one who dragged me from the bridge!"Tzuyu shouted. Sana now remembered her. She was still in sixth grade and she witnessed suicide attempt by the little girl in her age. With full of power and courage she helped the kid. Now the little girl was already in front of her. Sana smiled upon realize that the kid she helped before is still living her life until now.
She made it, Sana thought.
Tzuyu didn't understand why Sana was smiling. Tzuyu didn't understand why Sana was soaked in this freezing day. Tzuyu then noticed scratches everywhere on her arms. It would be so hurt. Upon thinking about that, Tzuyu pulled Sana to stand up and she removed the soaked blazer on the girl's body. Tzuyu removed her own blazer and covered Sana's freezing body.
"Eh?! Eh?! No! You don't have to do this!"Sana tried to reject the blazer Tzuyu put on her.
"Shut up. Do you wanna die too?! Ain't ya said to don't die?!"she didn't care with Sana's rejection and able to covered her body.
This is her first time to smile again after ages. It shocked her too. But she was happy that she's able to meet the kid who saved her life before. The kid who teached her to living her live steadfastly and strongly. To never give up while living the life no matter how hard it goes.
"Chou Tzuyu. What's your name?"Tzuyu handed her hand.
"Minatozaki Sana,"Sana smiled brightly, her eyes was formed a pair of crescent moon.
***
-back to present-
Sana was walking lifelessly. She was heading to Tzuyu's house. Her life felt even harder. She was happy to found her first love, Jimin. But when a happiness comes, there comes too another misery. She never expected, what she got from Yoongi was way cruel that what she'd ever experienced. Yoongi hurt her. Yoongi hurt her too deeply by stealing what she keep only for Jimin.
It was already a week Tzuyu didn't attend the school. There was so many things that happened. From the first, Tzuyu was always say that Sana is her savior. The whole time, Tzuyu was the one who said that Sana is stronger than her who's only a brutal girl. From the start, Tzuyu had no idea that Sana isn't as strong as Tzuyu thought. It was Tzuyu who always protected her. Sana saved Tzuyu once, just because she wanted to save her own heart. The real savior was Chou Tzuyu.
Sana remembered when she was at sixth grade, before she met Tzuyu and save her, Sana was almost give up. Sana almost give up because she got bullied everyday at school. Her table was full of harsh words and gross pictures until she should go to the school's backyard every morning to get her own seat that was thrown by the kids. Her bento was always poured in front of her eyes everytime Sana want to eat until she stopped bring her own bento. She was always got scolded by the teachers because she never wore her slipper inside the school because the girls wrecked her slipper. She was always went home wearing her gymnastic uniform because the girls always locked her in the toilet and threw a bucket of dirty water from outside. The bullying like that, Sana has been already received since Taeyong the most popular boy in her class confessed to her.
Sana was already fed up after two years in a row got bullied. She already hated so many things. She was already changed after the events. She became a gloomy girl who like to curse anything. The little Sana was already have so many cursing words to curse the girls who bullied her nor those people who ignore her condition eventhough they saw that she got bullied but just inside her head. When she realized that she already turned into a kid with dark heart, Sana searched for a help. Sana was searching a way out from the darkness so she can comeback to her old self. That's when she met Tzuyu who almost kill herself. Sana thought that the kid might have an unfortunate fate just like her or even more unfortunate. All of Sana's words to Tzuyu back then, were actually addressed to her ownself as well.
"You must learn to how to appreciate the life that's given to you. Eventhough how hard your life is. Eventhough how bad it is until everyday you only can cry and got hurt. There's always someone who can protect you in this world, there's someone who will cry if you're gone. So, don't die! If you haven't met that person yet, go find it! Never stop to find that person. That's what we call with fight your life! Don't ever think to die again!"
After that day, Sana went back to her old self. Eventhough the person who will protect her and maybe will cry if she's gone hasn't come yet, Sana was still waiting and fighting to live. She also wished the kid – Tzuyu- would be like her too. Until they met again, Tzuyu became the person she was looking for the most. The person who protect her and maybe will cry if she's gone.
Ding Dong!
Sana pressed Tzuyu's bell. No answer after she waited for a while.
Ding Dong!
Still no answer.
Ding Dong!
Sana pulled her phone from her pocket, tried to dial Tzuyu's number but still didn't get the answer until....
Click!
Sana's eyes were widened upon seeing her teacher, Kim Myungsoo to be exact who greet her. Myungsoo was even more surprised upon seeing Sana was standing in front of him. Tzuyu was still not in the sight.
"Mi...Mr. Kim, is Tzuyu here?"Sana asked hesitatedly. Myungsoo was staring at Sana. Her eyes were red, swollen as if she was just crying hard. Myungsoo was hesitated. Hesitated to show Sana, Tzuyu's real condition.
"Mr. Kim?"
"Oppa who's co-,"
Sana dropped her bag to the floor. Tzuyu couldn't blink her eyes. Sana crashed Tzuyu's body into a big hug and examined her bestfriend's face. Tzuyu looked so pale, paler than usual. She looked thinner. What happened to Tzuyu?
"Tzuyu! Tzuyu! What happen to you?!"Sana asked worriedly.
"Sana...,"
"Chou Tzuyu you're alright right?!"Sana asked. Tzuyu fell silent. She glanced at Myungsoo and then at Sana again. She let oud a sigh then smiled to Sana. The fakest smile that Sana ever seen from Chou Tzuyu.
"I should tell you this right?"Tzuyu pulled Sana to her living room. She nodded at Myungsoo as if she let that teacher to leave them for a while.
"Tzuyu, tell me what happen to you?!"Sana asked after they sit on the couch.
"Well, as you see. I'm with Myungsoo,"Tzuyu said without hesitant.
"Not that. Your condition!"Sana almost yell to Tzuyu. Sana has already known about Tzuyu with Myungsoo, she didn't want to play innocent to her bestfriend and she was more worried with Tzuyu's physical condition. She was really like a dead body right now.
"Sana I will tell you one by one,"Tzuyu bit her lower lip. She sighed heavily before start to tell her a story.
"I'm sorry that I lied to you. I didn't stay at Nayeon Unnie's house. I have been here all along with Myungsoo. We're already together ever since a half year ago. I know he's married and have a daughter but I love him so much. He loves me too. We keep our relationship secretly. I'm so sorry Sana, I hide this from you. The...when I went to doctor...,"
Sana gulped her saliva. She didn't want to hear the worst from Tzuyu. She didn't want to imagine Tzuyu is sick because...yeah, because of that. You know right what Sana was afraid of? Pregnant. Yeah, she was afraid that Tzuyu is pregnant with Myungsoo's child.
"Sana would you still be my friend after I tell you this?"Tzuyu held both Sana's hand. Sana nodded without hesitate. If Tzuyu is pregnant of course Sana will never leave her. Eventhough what Tzuyu did is wrong but she's still Sana's bestfriend.
"I'm positive having HIV,"Tzuyu almost whispered. Softly. Yet clearly.
The worst.
Immediately Sana's world stop spinning around.
Sana rounded her eyes very wide. Her breath almost stopped. Next second, Sana laughed rigidly.
"You're kidding Chou,"Sana laughed. Tzuyu was watching Sana who tried to laugh.
"I'm suffering from AIDS. Eight years ago after we met, I went back to home. My father brought that slut to our house. Mom went berserk and tried to kill the woman. I tried to save my mom who got beaten by my father instead... I was the one who got beaten by my father. That slut, I thought she was indeed having good intention to help me. She touched me, touched my wound with her hands. I thought it was my blood. But now that I think again, maybe it was hers who was briefly holding the knife my mom pointed at her. It was the one and only blood contact that I ever did. And I'm positive because she's now in the hospital suffering from pneumonia and meningitis by her already weaken immunes. Now my symptoms have already showed. This disease will only active for a long time and mine was already active after eight years long,"Tzuyu smiled weakly in Sana's eyes.
"No,"Sana shook her head in disbelief.
"No way. You're kidding Chou Tzuyu,"Sana let go of her hands from Tzuyu's grip. She shook her head quickly. Againts the reality.
"Sana don't be childish. I can accept that. Doctor said...,"
"YOU'RE KIDDING TZUYU!!!!"Sana yelled. Her tears bursted out. Tzuyu bit her lips. She wanted to cry seeing Sana's reaction like this but she holds that. She can't be weak.
"I will comeback to school and inform everyone about my condition. I will live my life like usual but I also don't want to harm other people. I want everyone to accept me, and also aware of me,"Tzuyu said.
"I don't accept that kind of fact!!!!!"Sana left Tzuyu. She was running so fast without any idea where she was heading for. Her heart was too broken after hearing what Tzuyu said.
AIDS?! What is that?! Tzuyu can't be suffering! Tzuyu can't have that kind of severe illness! Tzuyu can't die!
Sana cried loudly on the street when she got tired. She cried to her loudest until her throat got hurt. Oh, why? Why it can't make her heart feel released? She felt the pain is growing to hurt her even more.
***
Sana was looking at her room's ceilings. Too much event happened today. From Seulgi and Yoongi until Tzuyu. If only Sana didn't have a strong heart then she might be already rushed to the hospital from getting heart attack.
What should she do? What should she say to Tzuyu? She wanted to support Tzuyu but she herself was this weak. Sana chose to go outside and strolling around to release her mind.
When she realized, Sana was already looking at the Han river in the night. She was already walking so far. Too much thinking until she didn't realize that she was already here. Sana let out a heavy sigh.
Sana felt her phone was vibrating and she reached her phone from the pocket. Jimin is calling. Sana realized that the whole day she didn't thinking about Jimin, especially after drama class. Sana rushed to Tzuyu's house without waiting for Jimin.
"Yes Oppa?"
"Sana where are you? Why you went home without waiting for me? Are you ok? Was someone hurting you? Where are you?"Jimin was asking her insistently. Sana smiled. She felt so happy because Jimin was worried about her but in other side Sana didn't want to drag Jimin to her problem.
"I was a little bit dizzy Oppa, but I'm alright now,"Sana half lied. Indeed she felt dizzy this afternoon thinking about the problems she got.
"I will go to your home now!"Jimin said firmly.
"No Oppa! I...,"Sana cut his words quickly and hesitate after that.
"I'm at the river bank,"she said after sighed heavily. She knew she can't disappear from Jimin.
"I will go there,"Jimin ended the call before Sana was able to say that she will go home. But because Jimin already hung up, Sana didn't have any choice. She even haven't explain him which river bank she was right now. Han river is long. Especially she was not in downtown, she was running a little bit farther than the usual place people always visit.
***
Not Park Jimin if he can't find Sana. For Jimin, eventhough Sana was in the end of the world he will definitely find her. Jimin pulled Sana to his backhug immediately after saw his girl, making Sana jerked by the sudden act. Jimin didn't care and buried her face in Sana's nape.
"You always make me worried Minatozaki Sana,"Jimin whispered to her skin, he moved and rested his head on Sana's shoulder, kissing her skin. Sana bit her lips. Feeling Jimin's warm body right now only made her remembered Yoongi. The Yoongi who touched her. Yoongi who already kissed her. And it hurts her.
"Oppa...,"
"Are you still dizzy?"he asked. Sana shook her head. Jimin spun her body around and now they're facing to each other. Sana's heart was beating madly when looking at Jimin's face. Jimin, if only he knew that Sana experienced the worst day in her life. What Yoongi did to her and the worst fact that she got from Tzuyu. Sana really wanted to cry in Jimin's chest but she felt she didn't deserve that since she responded to other guy's kiss.
"What's wrong Jagiya?"Jimin asked gently. Sana shook her head and formed a thin smile.
Babo Sana. Sana didn't realize when she rushed from her house she wore short sleeves shirt. Jimin who was checking his girlfriend's condition noticed the long scar on her arm. He grabbed it immediately.
"Who did this?!!!!"
Jimin might didn't realize that unknowingly he yelled at Sana. Making Sana shocked and stepped aback. When he noticed Sana's response, Jimin realized that he went too far and breathed heavily to calm himself again eventhough he can't calm again. There was a long scar on Sana's arm from her elbow to her wrist and Jimin just found that.
"I scratched...I...eung...,"Sana got panicked and tried to find an excuse but she failed. She couldn't thinking straight eventhough her IQ was 148 when she is panic. Jimin let go of Sana's arm, he made a distance with Sana and wiped his face frustratedly then he punched and kicked the wind. He looked so angry, his face gone red, he was breathing heavily and almost losing his mind when he felt Sana's soft hand touched his skin to stop him when he almost punch a tree.
"Oppa stop,"Sana sobbed. Sana hugged Jimin's arm. Jimin drifted his attention to the smaller girl. His eyes were red, maybe because he was so angry or maybe he wanted to cry. Jimin pulled Sana into his embrace.
"Tell me who did that to you and how,"Jimin asked.
"No Oppa,"Sana sobbed when feeling Jimin's body was trembling. He might really hold his emotion so hard.
"Tell me Minatozaki,"Jimin asked again. Sana still shook her head in Jimin's embrace.
"Tell me Sana, before I'm losing my mind,"Jimin gritted his teeth. Sana was frozen. She was struggling to face Jimin right now. Maybe this is what Taehyung meant with 'before the worst coming'? Is Jimin like a monster when he got angry? Will he really lose his mind?
Before Jimin can say anything again to make Sana talk, Sana already locked his mouth with her lips. Jimin was taken aback and going back to his sanity. Without realize, tears were rolling down to his cheeks, same with Sana right now. Sana cried. Jimin cried. Jimin was still angry but what Sana did successfully holds his anger.
"Sana...are you still able to stay with me?"Jimin asked after they ended their emotional kiss. Sana gulped her saliva. She was almost thinking to protect her own self from the pain and wound that may be occured in the future. She almost think to end everything with Jimin. But everytime her skin touched Jimin's, Sana felt hard to let him go. And she already knew the answer from his question.
"I will always stay with you Oppa,"Sana hugged Jimin tightly. Too tight as if she didn't want to let go of him. She wouldn't let go of him forever. She will fight for Jimin, she will be stronger, she shouldn't afraid of Seulgi or Yoongi. She will defeat everything for Jimin's sake.
"Thank you, Love,"Jimin kissed her crown deeply.
Now they were walking side by side to Sana's house while holding hands. They were so sweet. Both of them are so cute, pretty and tempting. The more we look, the more we feel that this couple have a same strong feeling to each other. As if they're so hard to be shaken off. Then, in the future what might make them separated? Will this strong relationship could long last?
'Park Jimin, there's no one can have you if I can't have you,'
🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸
Guys sorry for the typos and grammatical errors. I'm too sleepy while writing this haha.
Please leave your comments to brighten my day 😆😗