"I thought it was easy, but here i know,
Nothing is for real, as it tends to show..
There are questions, and confusions and suspicion,
But then i always knew, No pain - No Gain"
- Awwthentic
Elena's P.O.V
We reached the table. Dad and Uncle again shared a smile as they saw us coming towards the table.
"You feeling better now, Elena?" Dad asked.
I smiled back. "Yes," Better? I feel worse.
Your daughter is doing Ph.D in lying recently, Dad. I accepted to myself.
"Where you both went?"
Uncle asked to me but before I could say Damon supplied in for me. "We went to The Mystic Beach"
I didn't even dared to look at Damon, after what happened. So I ignored him supplying for me.
Did I really do that? I wondered. It was bothering me.
So lost in my thoughts, I didn't even realised I was biting my lips.
It's all his fault!
He shouldn't had hold my hands like that.
He shouldn't had stare at me like that.
He shouldn't had asked all those questions.
He shouldn't had been there at all.
Everything made me feel so un-settled.
The way he was looking at me like I am some sort of delicacy he wants to devour, like he was relishing over his Lamington back then.
I still can't believe I thought like that and now this lip-biting that made him look at me that way.
His Barbarian Instincts I guess!
I don't know who to be angry at. To him or to myself?
Only if I had not been reminded of Stefan....maybe then I would have realised what I am doing.
Stefan....
Oh Stefan! Why still you come to my thoughts when you made it so clear with each passing day that I don't even exist for you.
It's all Damon's fault. His questions. His insistence.
The things he said about my behavior towards him forced me to see the change in me in dealing with him and any new people for that matter, after things went sour with Stefan.
Not that I am blaming Stefan for my actions but that had been the reason for this change In me. This trust issues, I am always on guard and I hate to meet anyone new.
And Damon un-nerved me since I came to know more and more of him. Every little thing I heard about him used to mess up with my head leading to frights. And then Each fear, each nightmare that I had related to him is coming true and making me more on guard and acting in a way that is surprising me too.
When he looks at me like that I feel...I am reminded of Stefan.
They even have the same title for god sake.
This is such a torture.
I grimaced as I heard him laugh now at something Dad said.
I felt Like he heard my thoughts, read my mind and the Demon in him is enjoying it, making fun of me, happy that he successfully managed to grill that fear inside me.
Please stop looking at me like that.
Please don't try to talk to me.
Please just..go away....go away.
God! Nooo
So hastily he stated what he felt, flunked at me his questions but how I tell him that is because of him that the scars of my heart got scratched.
Damn!
How do I tell him this?
What should I tell him at all?
How I answer his questions? I weeped inside as thought if Stefan played with my will-power who was fighting to push those thoughts away. And in all this I didn't even realised when I bit my lips as I was feeling taken over by my grief that I hid inside. Thankfully I could manage to fight back my tear or did he saw that as well.
Why on earth he has to stare at me at all?
The look on his face when I caught him watching me, after I bit my lip made my heart skip a beat. I don't know what shocked me more...my own unconscious action or his reaction to it.
Hell! It was just a lip bite..and I bit my lip...not his.
Get lost mind!
Now is not the time for cheesy joke. I cursed my thoughts.
All these aside , One thing I am really certain of.....Damon is right. I should maintain a good professional relationship with him for everyone sake or it would really mess things up at work.
What if he didn't join us because of this?
Hell..no.
Dad and Uncle will be too upset if that happens.
And if that came to know it's because of me... If Uncle knows... Oh. No. I even dread thinking so.
"Well, then you have the project and both of you will be working together on it" I heard Dad saying.
For a second I didn't even knew what he was talking. Like I just saw his lips move but didn't heard the words and then they reached my ear's and travelled to hit my mind.
"What?" I said in alarmed tone.
Uncle, Dad, Damon all looked at my shocked reaction.
Great! Just Great!
Dad gave me a look that told me I should try to focus on what's being talked instead of lost in thoughts.
God! Not now, not here, not today.
I gave him a quick apologized look. "Damon and you will be working on Gail's Project, you heard us , right?" Dad put in.
Working together? With Damon?
When did that happened?
Not Again! I was lost in thoughts and right Infront of me they been preparing for my funeral. Ha.
I rather die than work with Damon.
I am not doing that.
Is it a test for my patience and control?
"You always wanted to work on the project , right Elena. Damon wanted to do it single-handedly but I put in a condition it's either with you or not at all"
"And he agreed" I said looking at him and a saw a smile flash across his face as he said "Yes, I did"
I looked at him sternly and looked back at me carrying his usual smile. "I am sure we will make a good team"
"I am sure you are very much professional and dedicated so you definitely would" I looked at Dad and Uncle and requested "please, let him handle it alone. It's really okay with me. With me or without me, ultimately our firm will make profit and earn success because we know how capable Damon is at what he does" I said, giving a shot at him and looking back to Uncle.
Damon cleared his throat.
I wanted to kick him that moment but well my manners and professionalism told me to know better than that.
I did wanted that project..and I wouldn't had given it to him...over my dead body...remember?
But he rather do it alone then I join him in that.
"No, Elena, C'mon, you wanted to do it and I really would like to have your capable and smart mind to join mine and together we are going to show our Dad's that we can make it a big success"
Really? I looked straight at him and the way he said it made me smile.
"That's so nice of you but I am really okay with you working on your own in this and I am sure it will be great"
"I think Damon is right, let's see how the future of the company will be if we hand over the responsibilities to our inheritors. Isn't it Ric?"
"Definitely Sal" Dad agreed and looking at me "Elena, I think it's the best thing to do"
Right Dad, everything this whatever-he-thinks-of-himself says is always the best thing. I sorrowed inside but managed to give a smile agreeing to what they decided as I didn't want to disagree more and make dad feel low and disappointed of me Infront of them.
"As you all say, we will do things as professionally as can be" I said finally, giving Damon a look that must reminded him of my saying the same words a while ago.
This meant as an ultimatum to him and he better get this in his head.
"We sure will" he added, his eyes peeping right into mine.
"So now me and Ric can be assured that we do not have to deal with this project. Both of you are going to take care of everything related to it and we want it to be a success." Uncle said, grinning as he added "Take it as an order or a demand"
We all laughed.
"Dad, you sure are not doubting my talents and skills..hmm, for I am your own shadow" Damon said in a delightfully teasing tone.
"No, my boy, how can I ever doubt you, you are not just my shadow, you are my blood and I am sure if you decide to get something then you will get it" Uncle said as he patted his back.
Wow, it's so amazing to see them , they really do have a great bonding.
"But make sure to be very careful because the person you are going to deal with is known for giving a hard time"
"Don't worry Ric, I have full faith in my son. He would do what we want in the best possible way, no matter how much he is being tested"
"I am sure and I will be the one who will be most happy if he could make this a success"
It was like dad and uncle forgot that we are also there. Both of them were talking to each other and we were curiously , dumbly looking at them because I bet Damon looked as confused as me for what they were talking. Somehow I felt they were not talking about the project but something else.
I looked at Damon and he looked at me and we looked at them and they looked back at us as they laughed and we really didn't knew whether to laugh ya them or at us or in this confused situation.
Maybe I have lost my mind for I am imagining this and none of this is really happening.
Short-lived Thought!
4 drinks were served. Everyone ordered Blue lagoon but I went for Virgin Moita.
"Sal, let's toast to this new and young members of our team and their first project to prove their calibre"
We all took our glass.
"To Damon and Elena" Uncle said.
"To Damon and my lovely daughter, Elena" Dad added.
"To Us" Damon joined happily.
"To Our First Project" I said with a convincing smile.
I knew Damon was still watching me and I know I just have to face this but he better not try the same stunts as he did on the beach.
I made it very clear to him that I will do my best to work in the best professional way and I just hope he understand this.
But I can feel this will be one hell of a torture for me and I just know it and I am just so helpless I can't do a thing about it.
I knew it when Damon walked inside my cabin today that He meant Trouble with a Capital T for me.
*************************************************************
Tired and Stressed. Emotionally, Mentally and Physically.
Dear Diary,
Life been cruel with me today. Yet again. I can't tell you who I met? Just Imagine...."The Ever-So-Perfect Damon"
Mr I-know-it-All!
Correction.
Mr "Whoever-the-hell-he-thinks-of-himself"
As if meeting him at the office wasn't torture enough I had to survive having a dinner with him.
I can't tell you enough of how I felt the entire time I was with him. His eyes on me, making me nervous, frightening me. Those nightmares...I lived those today with this Demon having a grip over me through his eyes and that chauvinistic irritating smile.
Maybe he is something and everything, maybe girls found him...well whatever....but I found him Infuriating!
I was scratching my brain to find a more appropriate word to describe what I feel about the way he disgustingly kept looking at me to write down in my diary but I was just half way through when my phone buzzed and without even looking at it I knew who the intruder to my private moment and my thought is.
Caroline...
Holding my diary to my heart, I picked my mobile and received Caroline's call.
"Hey Cal"
"Don't you "Hey Cal" me!" - she said in mild angry tone.
"Ok, Ok, I know you are pretending-to-be-pissed-of with me because I didn't called you back but come around and listen..." I said, laughing softly.
"to your excuse?" she said teasing me.
"Cal, That is not a good thing to say to your best friend" I acted like I felt bad.
"Come around yourself and tell me what kept you busy" she said
I didn't called her because I knew she would ask how it went with Damon more than how the dinner went and I was not in the least interested to even think about it now, let alone talking about him. My drive back home had been full of thoughts from the question he raised to the ones my mind raised and then the fleeting feeling in my heart because I got reminded of Stefan and most importantly the fear I felt at the back of my head about working with Damon. My mind was full and incomplete mess. The last thing I wanted was to dig things up and have a sleepless night.
Writing my Diary everyday is something I never skip so I was just penning down my thoughts and planning to sleep, deciding to talk with her tomorrow but hard luck!
I love my friend, very much but with these things I kind of restrained sharing everything because I don't want them to see how much things still affects. Its not a lie that im trying. Ofcourse I am but Only if life let me try....
I rubbed my forehead with my fingers. "I was too tired after I returned and I.... I am sorry Cal" I said in a low voice.
Sensing something is not right. Her voice was serious and she asked in her usual straight-forward way "It didn't went well, Right?"
I gave a bitter laugh. "Will anything ever, in my life?"
"C'mon Elena, you are a fighter, you know, I know and so deos everyone, so don't talk like a loser now"
"Fighter? Fighting who and what? My destiny or ...? I let the thought lingered because I didn't had the strength to let the scars of my heart be discussed again. "Will this fight ever be over, Cal?"
"It will. When the time is right and when you really really try"
"You mean I am not trying?" I said sadly.
"You are but its not enough plus something only time can change..and trust me it will. I can feel that its not that far away..you just have to maintain your hopes and keep trying"
I was feeling emotional but I didn't wanted to go weak so I managed to control my emotions and not give into tears as I said : "I tried to be normal today...maybe it would have worked but.." I don't know if I blame Damon or not. Was he really at fault or its me?
I feel like my head will burst.
I am in such a mess.
I want to scream "I don't want to work with him" but I can't do that. I have to prove myself and to everyone that I am trying and I am moving on.
"but what? What happened?" she asked worriedly.
"Damon, fears, frights, everything or maybe nothing. Maybe its just me...but I am stuck with something I don't want to do but I can't back-off now" My voice edgy with sadness and anger. At myself and At Damon.
Its his fault. He shouldn't have kept that stupid condition in the first place.
He shouldn't had stared at me like that.
He shouldn't had come out with me.
"Elena, don't you feel you are over-reacting. I don't really understand your fears related to Damon, I know about your nightmares but its because of the thoughts you let your mind get scared with. Stop analyzing things, Baby"
"I didn't analyzed anything today" I said rigidly now but then controlled "Cal, I don't know myself from where those nightmares come and why. I really don't know and these fears that I felt about Damon is actually coming true. Every bit of it is real. I felt them all today..so close and that is why I feel more scared and worried" I said fighting back the thoughts but feeling weak.
"Damon said or did something?" she asked.
"I don't know what to say..its just that I been tricked into working with him in the project I was preparing to work in...and I don't want to work with him Cal" My tone fearful. "He is so infuriating, Cal. I just don't want to be around him"
"You just met him today. Isn't it too soon to judge him?"
"I am not judging him or may I am..i don't care to know..because I know what I am saying is a fact. One day with him left me feeling like this, I wonder how I will survive working with him as a team"
"Give him time, Elena. Maybe you are over-thinking and over-reacting because of your pre-concieved notiosn about him that gave rise to the fear you been feeling before meeting him." She said trying to make me see reason. "I don't know him but I still think the guy deserves a fair chance at understanding him before making any conclusions about him"
"Chances? What chances? I don't want to work with him at all. I can't stand him...."
"No Pain, No Gain Elena. Look stop thinking so much. You know the best thing would be to rest your mind and go off to sleep. If you will stay awake, you will keep thinking. No diary, nothing. Just sleep it over and we will talk when you are relaxed, tomorrow."
But why its Only Pain in my life? Why Only Pain....? I asked as I looked outside the window at the sky.
Maybe God is watching me now and he just might care to answer me today.
No such thing happened.
"Cal, I am sorry, I am just too messed up to be a good friend, I know. But I love you" I said holding back my tears for I know how much concerned she is about me.
"Don't be silly. You are a perfect everything and I love you back" She said emotionally but in a smiling way. "Sleep, Elena"
"Hmm, Goodnight. Will call you tomorrow."
"Take care, Goodnight"
She disconnected the call. For I don't know how long, I just sat by the window, watching the dark sky, with my mobile in one hand and my diary close to my heart being held up by my other hand. It was when I dropped my mobile from my hand that I realized I fell asleep as I was lost in my thoughts as dark as the night sky.
I don't even remember what I was thinking but I knew who it was about...Damon and Stefan.
Why Damon has to have the same title as Stefan?
I remember how I felt when I first met Uncle Sal. Though with time I come to accept his name for he been so good with me but I doubt that would ever happen with Damon.
Its not just his name. His full name that gives me fright now. But also his actions.
Hell! I need to sleep. "Sleep it Over" as Cal said.
Sorry Diary, I will update you tomorrow. I closed my diary and kept it on my table.
After Shutting off the lights of my room, I fell on my bed, pulled my pillow close to me and close my eyes waiting for sleep to come. Again.
And It did came in few minutes after struggling with few unwanted thoughts.
***************************
Damon's P.O.V
"Are you happy with the decision?" Dad asked as we were driving back home.
"There is no reason to not to but I still think Elena was not much keen on working with me. What made you decide on this team thing?"
"Because we are a team and it was a team decision that both if you work together on ths project and not you alone. Alaric was doubtful if both of you would agree to this decision or not and so was I but it was a pleasant surprise to see both agree."
"My asking for doing it single-handedly was a suggestion dad, not a demand. I think I could have managed it alone too but I am sure working with Elena, as a team would be quite helpful..." I replied. Thinking in my head "And learning too."
About her.
"It sure will. She is an amazing girl and equally dedicated to her work. Give each other sometime and both of will work it through together" Dad said, in a tone that indicated more meaning behind it to my confusion.
"You and Mom appears to be too much in awe of her Dad. Honestly, she didn't looked that approachable to me in terms of social manners"
"Why do you say that Damon? I was beginning to think you might have liked her too considering the way things went."
"Yes, She is nice and pretty
"I told you she is a private person, has a reserved nature. Don't judge her so soon."
I stayed quiet at that for I had no intention to drag this further or Dad would be suspicious, wondering why I am talking like that about her.
And the last thing we would want is Our dad's worrying over us as if we are two kids fighting amongst each other.
That thought made me laugh.
Me and Elena as kid and fighting with each other, me pulling her hair and she trying to punch me with her little soft hands.
Only if we were kids...
Only if we had knew each other for that long..maybe then I would have been able to understand her.
We reached home and Mom greeted us both on the doorway with a pleasant smile on her face.
"When did you returned, honey?" : Dad asked.
"Just an hour ago. Didn't I just surprised the two most handsome men in my life?" Mom said , in her little laugh.
"Where did you went?" I asked.
Mom and Me sat by the sofa as we chatted. Dad making a drink for us at the bar situated at the corner of the room, just on the right of the sofa.
"I been out of town to meet a friend who had an accident." She said.
"Oh, How is she now?" I asked with concern.
"Coping but much better than before. It could have been worse but Thankfully she got saved."
"She is lucky, May. God bless her" Dad said giving her a drink.
"She is." Mom said feeling grateful for her friend is saved. Then turning to look at me she continued saying "How was your dinner? Enjoyed?"
"Wonderful, but ofcourse we missed you." I said with a sheepish smile.
"Don't trick my wife into believing your lie, Damon." My dad returned my tease. Looking at mom "He hardly even in once mentioned you or ask of you"
"C'mon Dad, I am not a kid to cry for her because mom was not beside me, if you want to put like that, but of ofcourse it would have been great if she had attended with us."
"Don't fool me Son,.." He started to say but Mom cut in asking.
"Let him be, What about you? You missed me?" Mom asked Dad, teasingly. Winking at me and we laughed together as Dad gulped down his drink quietly.
And then she said ruefully "Like Father, Like Son. Who should I complain!?!"
Both me and dad shared a funny look and quietly drank which made her giggle as she said "Okay, now you both can relax. I am not going to sulk over it. I am glad you both had a good time"
"Yes, a great one indeed and we decided that Damon and Elena will work together in the new upcoming project" Dad informed her.
"It's a good news." She said emotionally, happy that I not only decided to stay with them but also joined dad. She cheered her glass to our success and so did me and dad. "Elena, she is a wonderful girl. I met her twice and I really appreciate the girl. For the girl of her age, she is really very wise and understanding. Her manners and etiquettes made me really adore her"
My mood kind of changed at the mention of her name and the list of qualities my mom associated her with. No doubt , she is controlled and straight-forward, which i admired....Infact, I felt attracted towards hers but...
Wise?
Understanding?
Etiquettes?
Is she talking about the same Elena , I met today? I wondered.
The way dad and mom praises her it makes me feel like, it's just me she is being so hard with...whereas with others, she is good.
"Damon?"
"Yes, Mom"
"I asked you something"
"I am afraid mom, I didn't catch on what you asked" lost in my thoughts, I really didn't heard her asking me anything.
Dad was observing me so I straightened myself and looked straight at mom as she asked me again. "How did you find Elena?"
How did I find her?
Such a simple question, yet I don't know what to say. I don't want to disrupt the image of her in my parents mind though I doubt if they would accept even if I say for they know her much better than me.
"She is pretty mom, and well as dad said "Reseved'"
"I told you, she is unlike any other girl Normally girls would chat non-stop, giggle and act so girlish but not Our Elena. Though I feel she should too, not so much but sometimes it's good. I hope she meets the right guy that would help her relax and enjoy life more"
"She is too reserved for her own good. I doubt any guy would be able to tackle that" I said finally.
"The guy who been raised well and has a mind with great sense and wisdom would" Dad said defending her. It made me feel that he didn't liked my comment on her but he didn't showed any sign.
"Yes, I believe so too. Damon, you must not judge her so soon. Keep an open-mind and you shall yourself see what a sweetheart she is. Any guy would be lucky to have her" she said confidently.
Somehow, I didn't like the taste of my drink that moment or was it the thought of Elena finding some guy.
Now! Why would I mind that?
"She deserves the best one and I am sure she will find one soon" Dad added, looking still me first and then shifting his gaze to mom as he smiled.
Elena with a guy!
She is so reserved, difficult to understand it's So hard to picture.
Or it's the thought of some guy being able to lighten her mood, making her smile, watching her eyes as she looks softly.....which he couldn't do!
That kicked something in me.
My ego. My pride.
The events of the evening re-played itself on my mind, the way she behaved and reacted it is confirmed she is not so keen in getting along with me, part from working as a thorough professional.
Does she dislikes me?
What is it about me that annoys her?
Anything to do with me or Me as a whole?
And The Most Important Question is Why?
I always had received great female attention everywhere I went. No that I wanted to make an impression on her with my looks but Hell, A guy's ego get hurts if a girl he can't stop looking at doesn't shows him any importance.
To make matter worse, if she treats him like he is some kind of bad disease she is trying to prevent herself from!
Like Elena is doing with me!
That gives such a bad feeling.
None of my charm seems to work on Elena.
Irritated with such thoughts, I stood up and excused myself to leave for my room. My parents were still talking.
We wished each other goodnight and I retreated towards my room.
My head full of disturbing thoughts. Few I could understand was because of her reaction and few I couldn't even place. I changed to my casuals and jumped on the bed with my mobile, checking my messages and updates.
Tossing and turning, trying to sleep but it seems like my sleep has gone on a vacation. My head messing with me of the events of the day and the things my parents said about her.
Why she is so indifferent to me?
Why it is even mattering to me?
I never imagined meeting with Elena would go like this. I expected we will meet on friendlier terms, knowing so much a about each other through a common source but she just shocked me completely. I thought maybe having dinner together would break the ice but she seemed more distant and she said it in words that she is just wanted a professional relationship.
What is wrong with friendship?
Why she is adamant on pushing me away? she does not even know me personally to judge and decide anything, then why?
For a moment I had this thought coming in my head to call off the whole idea of joining them but then that would disappoint dad and uncle. Also something irked me to give it a shot when dad announced working as team with Elena.
A good chance of trying to get to know her and my answers.
"You affected me a great deal, Miss Elena Gilbert and now I won't rest until I find the reason for you attitude towards me because I kind of feel it's just towards me and I wonder why"
I have to figure things out and get rid of these bother-some thoughts storming in my head.
Actually, not all are bothersome thoughts, some are good too. The moment when i saw her entering the dining room with her dad. She looked so relaxed, smiling at him as he said something and then looking at us wearing the same smile. That smile lasted even after looking at me, throughout the dinner, I thought she was her normal self then, only to be proved wrong later when we were at the beach.
And now this tricky situation where I have to work with her for this project. This is to my advantage for it's the only way I can get to spend quality time with her to understand her and get answers to my questions. As for her warnings...well, I will take care of them!
As my eyes closed, I saw a young, beautiful and elegant girl laughing vibrantly. Her hair flying away as she ran across the beach before me. Looking at her like this brought some strange feelings in my heart. I was running after her, to grab hold of her and kiss her....
Elena...
My eyes fluttered but I didn't opened because even recognizing who she was didn't couldn't stop me from continuing to dream because that momemt what my heart was feeling was more valuable than anything to me in this world, for some strange reason, though I was half-asleep, yet I knew it. My heart knew it is already connecting to Elena.