For the first time in his life, Esau could imagine Edythe choosing to leave him, choosing to die.
It was in the way her eyes constantly evaded his as he and Issac worked up a plan to make it to center of the forest alive. Alive. . . The way she sharpened her knives and practiced her aim. The resolute look in her eyes.
Esau couldn't take it anymore, his gaze searching for hers. Alive. . . They couldn't die, not when they made it this far. She couldn't die, when they had survived this long.
"E!" Isaac's voice was a sharp knock against his thoughts. "Are you even listening?"
"I. . ." Esau's eyes dropped to the messy pile of maps and scribbles in front of him. The captain knew what he was doing, that was sure enough. "This won't work." The boy said.
"What?" Issac begged to differ, his tone hard and overbearing.
Esau kneaded his forehead with the heel of his palm to alleviate the pain that suddenly assaulted his senses. "We can't split up. We have to work together, all of us."
"And be a larger target for the beast that you claim guards the remains of your house, I don't think so?"
"Fine," Esau let out a breath, the pain behind his skull receding slowly, "do what you want."
Before Issac could reply, Edythe turned to her brother and frowned. "That's not fair," she said as her hands worked to pin all her curls behind her head, "if you wanted them dead so soon we should just leave them here."
Already by the door, Philip seemed to want to interject. It was well past evening. They didn't have time for silly squabbles. Instead, his gaze met Issac's and his jaw clamped down, hard.
Edythe continued. "We have lived in Lacua our whole lives, with the fog for three months. We can breath in it easily and we don't need silly goggles to know when a beast is about to claw our throats out. So we can split up if you want, that is, if you gave confidence in your rifles and superior attitudes."
Her raised tone begged someone to argue and her narrowed gaze made both soldiers look away.
She has a point, their actions seemed to say, though their faces showed reluctance. A reluctance they would soon lose.
Esau didn't say anything, his eyes on the table as he gathered the fragile maps in his arms and stood up. It's happening again, he felt it in the brush of Edythe's skin against his as she walked past him to Philip, handing him a mask. He didn't know why, but he was losing her.
†
They hadn't told the soldiers about Alun's master yet. Esau didn't know if he should maintain his sister's silence or run back and tell the two men about the unconscious man she had accosted. Of course, he had no idea what had happened the man in the white suit, but he knew he wasn't dead.
Edythe couldn't have. . .
"I need to to tell you something," a breath tickled his arm and automatically a dagger slid down his sleeve, into his palm.
Even in the faint light of the moon, Edythe easily blocked his attack, stealing the dagger away from him, and Esau froze. "What?"
"We'll tell the soldiers about the man," cloaked in the darkness, she still looked thoughtful, Esau predicted a 'but' coming next, "the two of us can't move a body around, no matter how much leverage it would give us in the capital."
We're going to leave him behind. Though he was uncomfortable with the idea, it still made sense. If they had more time they could have gone slow, but the ticks were closing in on them. The clock was running out.
All four of them needed to go to somewhere without fog. Somewhere like the capital where every building had a shield, the stronghold of the north.
"What did you do to him?" Esau asked, his voice barely a squeak. The fog was still as heavy as ever. Even if he was to shout at the top of his lungs a person just steps away might not hear him. He and Edythe were standing side by side but it was possible that she wouldn't hear him. His heart chilled at the thought.
"I kept him alive," she seemed to skirt around the question, her voice now behind him, metres away.
Esau turned back hurriedly only to see nothing but fog. He felt around him, and still nothing. His shoulder fell and his lungs deflated. He was alone, utterly alone.
The thought stewed in his mind as he kept moving forward, the steps he should take soldered into his mind by Edythe's strict teaching. She knew the forest more than he did, surprisingly enough. I'm alone. He gulped and kept himself aware of his surroundings in preparation for an attack.
Then a familiar hand clapped down on his shoulder, taking his by surprise, and a soft voice whispered by his ear. "You're never on you own in this forest, always keep that in mind and this," she pressed the hilt of the dagger into his hand, "on your person. Slash anything that comes this close."
Esau leaned against his twin, terrified. "Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing me away?"
"From zero to nine we've been together. Through the thick and thin, fog or no fog. We might be together here, in this forest, and even when we get out of here," she pulled him into a quick hug then once again maintained her distance, "but what about ten to eighteen? Are we going to be together then?"
Esau stilled as the warmth from his sister's embrace faded into the eerie chill of the fog. She had thought farther into this than he had. Of course the capital's authorities had the right to separate them. Things up there worked differently, their parents had told them. It was one of the reasons they had left the golden city in the first place.
By law, twins were separated till they reached adulthood.
If they took asylum in the capital, he wouldn't see Edythe for years. But if they stayed they would both die.
"You should have told me sooner." he said, his voice weak.
"Not everything is yours to fix."
Esau felt like pulling his hair out. Why wasn't anything ever easy? Why was life always a choice between pain and survival?
"It's my fault. I'm sorry." He crumbled. "I should have found a better way."
He could feel Edythe watching him, the intensity of her gaze made him shiver because now he knew what she had been thinking, what she had been planning. It was a simple plan and it was risky, but it was leverage.
"He's up that tree." He heard her say, and he was already climbing. It wasn't like before, he felt stronger and more prone to slash something's throat than run away.
He got to the first branch and looked down. He couldn't see Edythe but he knew that she was close. She was always close.
He kept on climbing until the moonlight burst through the clouds of fog and he could finally see where he was. Esau looked up at Edythe. She was perched on the branch directly above him, extending a hand down.
He took it and a spark of warmth ran through his body.
"I can always hear you, Esau," she said, as she helped him to the spot next to her, "even when you don't want me to."
The boy and girl settled on the tree branch, an unconscious man and the thickness of silence between them.
"Esau," Edythe was the first to speak, and taking advantage of the moonlight she held out her pinky, "till death do us part?" They were the words used to affirm oaths back when the world was whole.
Esau stared at his sister's finger in silence. Her words were a promise, a vow, and yet they cut into him like a curse. But still he extended his little finger and sealed the words into eternity. "Don't die on me, Eddy."
Till death do us part, a solemn oath to a sibling, to a twin, never to leave them behind or forsake. And with it concluded they both looked down and watched for any sign of disturbance, waiting for the soldiers they had left at their father's workshop. Soldiers that wanted to prove their superiority by walking in a straight line in the fog without assistance.
If it was anything to go by Edythe's smirk, right now the captain and Philip were in serious trouble. The girl had planned show them how truly inferior they were.
She was not going to put her brother's life in the hands of prideful men.
†