Your heart thundered in your chest as shaky breaths clambered from your mouth. Your eyes were shrunken with fear as you tried to still your shaking limbs.
"This can't... i-it can't be happening. I don't understand. Why... how..." Tears welled in your eyes as you clung to Izuku, his eyes now dull and lifeless. The sound of war surrounded you but your sobs rang loudest. You couldn't stop staring at the destruction around you. A monster stood atop the corpses of your friends, laughing maniacally as they slaughtered them. In an iron-clad fist they held Bakugou. He still fought violently to get away from him but his quirk did nothing. "STOP IT!!!" You screamed.
A sharp snap silenced the air, and Bakugou stopped moving. His body thumped against the ground, rolling limply before you.
You blinked and darkness consumed you whole, leaving only you, and Bakugou's death stricken body. You screamed and sobbed, pulling him close and clutching him as though he might wake up.
"You can't be gone!" You cried into his chest. "You can't! Please wake up! I can't be alone again..."
"Oh honey..." the sweet voice cooed. You looked up and it wasn't Bakugou you held. Your eyes caught hold of familiar, long (H/C) locks and your heart squeezed.
Her eyes seemed cold now, and her grin twisted and melted as it slid off her face. "Darling, you always were alone." She said bluntly. You sucked in a short breath as she disappeared.
"Mom! Mom wait! Mommy please! Mommy!" You felt like a child again, reaching for her as she disappeared and you were left alone.
You opened your eyes and it was all gone, replaced by your room draped in dim morning light. Cold sweat dripped down your brow and nails tore at sheets by your sides. You pressed your fingertip to your eyes gently, pulling it away damp and warm. "What the hell..."
You placed a palm against your forehead and cradled yourself, trying to decipher the dream in your walking moments. "Mom?"
Your heart crept faster even thinking of her, fear and hatred tearing into you when you thought about the villain who killed her. As a child, you had nightmares of her death, but they stopped long ago, when you started to feel accepted with Izuku as your new family.
"Get up (Y/N)! You slept in again! Its our first day back!" Izuku yelled, pounding a fist on the door. It splintered just barely under the force and it snapped you from the trance.
You directed your tired eyes to the clock on the desk next to you, reaffirming what Izuku had said. You placed your feet on the floor and leaned into your arms, attempting to console the images that resurfaced. The door creaked open slowly, Izuku's green hair just peaking through. "(Y/N)?"
His eyes widened, seeing tears slide down your face, but hearing no sniffling. You looked at him, an uncertain sense of numbness about the dream overtaking you. "(Y/N)?! Are you okay??"
You didn't respond only placing your face in your hands. "I'm... I'm fine. I guess I had a bad dream." You muttered, voice soft. "I can't even remember what it was about."
"Are you sure? You've haven't woken up from a nightmare in years. Especially crying."
"I'm sure Izuku." You glanced at the clock and stood, turning your face away. "Now get out so I can get dressed! I don't wanna be late for the sports festival!"
You tried to change your tone, shooting him a quick smile as though to easy his suspicion. He didn't seem to believe your ruse, but nodded. "Okay. Hurry up though!"
"I will!" You chirped, moving to your closet.
You pulled on your uniform in seconds, smoothing out the wrinkles made by neglect during the break. You passed your mirror, glimpsing only to tie your hair in your ribbon, stopping briefly as you lost your breath. You saw your mother staring back at you, her face framed in your body. You hesitated, hearing her voice echo in your head. 'You were always alone.'
You looked at the ribbon, the frayed ends having been burnt numerous times to try to keep it from shredding with age. It has always made you happy, but suddenly it felt wrong. You looked at the ribbon, feeling...
"(Y/N)! We gotta go! Please we can't be late!" Izuku called.
You shook your head, closing your eyes and swallowing the bitterness. "Coming Izuku!"
You darted from the room and painted a grin on your face. Izuku waited at the door, speaking to Inko who seemed as emotional as ever. He looked to you and grinned in a small way. "Got everything?" He asked. "Gym uniform especially?"
"Yep!" You nodded. You danced towards the door on fleeting steps and hugged Inko. "Goodbye mom! Make sure to watch us on TV today!"
You didn't say anything else, instead taking to a sprint. Your limp was long gone, but your throat tightened painfully. You could feel your eyes moisten, but you swallowed any grief. "Get yourself together! It's the day! Don't let a stupid dream get in the way."
Your feet carried you quickly, taking you swiftly to the school where life bustled. Vendors were setting up everywhere at the early hour for the sports festival. You were running later than you meant, but admittedly, seeing the setup seemed astonishing. To think that something so small as a sports festival could be so big, just because of talent scouting.
"(Y/N)! Wait up!"
You glanced back, seeing Uraraka dart after you short of breath, close behind your brother. You pinned your best smile and waved for them to hurry. "Come on! We have to get to the room for attendance!" You yelled, pressing forward to the room.
For some reason, you felt you needed the distance. Maybe it was just you being nervous. You clamored into the classroom to find your classmates as abuzz as you. Though they all looked the same as before, confidence oozed from almost each one. They all seemed prepared, and excited. You took your seat, legs bouncing with the same energy.
"I got recognized on the bus here! Even if none of the heroes notice me for my skills, I totally have a chance for an internship!" One mumbled.
"I'm still going to try hard though. I'm hoping one of the big heroes sees me. I could use some good experience."
"We've already fought real villains! Didn't you see the other classes gathering to check us out! We're the ones to beat!"
Conversation buzzed around you, and your emotion spiked within you. A mixture of many things building, and you felt almost as if it weren't real. You felt numbed as everything sped, Aizawa speaking but the words merely phasing through you. You changed without a word, putting on your gym uniform and stretching as A class started to prepare for the festival. Your body moved without your knowledge, merely following those around you as you became lost in your thoughts.
"I've got this. I've for this... I've... Got... I've got this." You pinched your ribbon in your fingers, feeling as though it might comfort you.
What if it isn't? I'm going to fail. I'm not as strong as my class. I was a casualty when the going got tough. I can't do this.
"I can do this." You whispered, squeezing your eyes shut.
I can't.
Applause erupted from the stadium, a loud siren shredding your ears as the test began. Your eyes flew open, and the world widened suddenly. You found your breath, and gasped, as the world rushed back to you. Applause, rushing bodies bumping and clawing to beat the crowd, and you, standing frozen in the back of the pack. "I can do this!"
Ice crawled up your ankles and you looked up as a familiar head leapt ahead of the crowd. Izuku's hair bobbed around, following the movement as most became frozen in place. You pressed the air beneath your feet and the ice fractured, splintering.
You flew into the air, placing a foot in the mass of bodies and jumping over top. You could feel fingers and claws trying to latch to your limbs, but you smiled as a borrowed trick propelled you, blast of flame almost like rockets from your palms. You landed before the end of the long halls, behind Todoroki, but finding rhythm in the ice. "Todoroki!" You yelled, heat radiating through your soles, and melting the ice at your feet.
He turned briefly, glancing at you before his eyes widened. You smiled deviously, and winked. "You can't lose me yet!"
Your classmates arose around you, each uniquely escaping the first trial.
Todoroki moved like an expert, his ice taking to the ground like a slick trap. You ran as fast as you could, not even coming close to front as your faster classmates easily passed you up.
"Come on (Y/N)! Keep up!" Ojiro teased, pouncing forward on his tail with a sly grin.
"Careful Ojiro! I might just leave you in my dust!" You taunted.
Present Mic bellowed over the speaker, narrating the race as we each made ourselves evident to the rows of spectators.
You didn't take long to act, not hesitating a moment when familiar bots appeared before you. For a moment you stopped, watching as your peers teamed against the foe or single handedly deflecting off of them.
You darted forward, watching as the machines fell separate ways, and took your chance. You shrank, body softening into water as you slipped through the gap your classmates allowed with their unintentional distraction.
"Later!" You teased, sending them a peace sign as you left the trial.
You're running away.
The voice alarmed you, making you slow for just a moment. "No, no I'm adapting. They need to see what my powers can do!"
You kept going, speeding through as you closed to the front. You couldn't see Izuku, or anyone for that matter, but the collection of bodies at the edge of next challenge was like another wall.
You kept without restraint, landing on a metal pole and sliding. You shrieked, tumbling to the side and barely grasping the edge. "Dumb idea! Never jumping without looking again!" You squeaked, pulling yourself up. "Forgive me for stealing your trick again Kacchan."
You snapped your legs together and you could smell the rubber soles burning. Suddenly, you shot up, shakily. You shot up like a rubber balloon, having no control but moving fast.
Your face flushed of color as you looked down at the drop, falling from your blast like a stone. "GAH!?!" Your flame sputtered to life again, and you tumbled forward. Though shaking and unsteady, you through your body forward. Curling into a ball, you shrieked as you fell toward the other side. "I'm a fucking idiot!" You bellowed, though laughter bit at your remark.
You hit the ground hard, knocking the breath from you as you hit hard. You wheezed, trying to find your air as you sat up, gasping. Feet pounded on the ground next to you as people passed, paying no mind to the contender who decided the best chance was knocking wits out of themselves. You stood shakily, wobbling forward as you tried to steady yourself.
Alone.
"Its a competition! Of course they're passing me up." You whispered. "Get it together..."
You started to jog to the next trial, careful not to waste your energy any more. 'Alone! You can't even think of your own solutions. You're either copying those better than you or running. You're pathetic.'
You shook your head, smacking a palm to your face. "What? Where did that thought even come from??? Fucking focus (Y/N)!"
You looked up at those in front of you and gulp. They tip toed softly, thin risen mounds hiding beneath them bombs. You could see Todoroki now, icing his way carefully through the field, but the screaming boom of another caught your attention.
Far ahead, Kacchan barely touched the ground as his hands let loose explosion after explosion beneath himself. Bombs followed in his wake, littering the field with craters. "Kacchan! You beautiful idiot!" You muttered. You moved quickly, ignoring your surroundings as you quickly followed suit.
Unknowingly, Kacchan had left patched of field that were already detonated. With his vast lead on you, you were able to follow suit with ease, leaping from cater to crater and closing the distance you'd lost. You snickered to yourself, evolving into a sprint as you balled forward in the craters. He glanced back, eye widening momentarily as you gained via his mistakes.
"Thank you Kacchan!" You teased, blowing a kiss as you pulled ahead.
You looked forward, seeing the finish in way. You leapt from space to space, losing speed but careful not to detonate any of the bombs.
"I'm almost there!"
"I'm gonna do it! I can do this!"
You turned back to look at Kacchan and grinned. "Sorry Kacchan! Guess you couldn't keep up!"
You opened your eyes and instantly the world fell apart. The field disappeared and in its place, the exact image that work you. Red painted the sky and you suddenly ran away from a mountain if corpses. 'ALONE '
You tripped, falling back to the ground as in front of you a silhouette sporting poisonous violet eyes loomed over you. "YOU'RE A LONELY WORTHLESS WASTE! PATHETIC! THEY'RE DEAD! YOU KILLED THEM! YOU JUST RAN AWAY LIKE THE COWARD YOU ARE!"
"Wha- where am I?! Who are you?? Get away from me!" You screamed.
"COWARD. YOU KILLED THEM! YOU COULDN'T SAVE THEM!"
"What?! No! You're lying! This isn't real! It's not real!!"
You hit the ground and your chest sank, the distinct tick of a bomb taking to your ear. "The bombs... the festival!"
Your body flew into the air with the blast, and the scene disappeared again, only the figure lingering behind. You shook your head trying to clear your head.
"The festival... I need to finish the race..." you murmured.
You hit the ground and rolled to the side, nearing the finish line. Maybe by luck. You stumbled to your feet, you wobbled to the finish line, using your last of your energy to stumble into the stadium. The stands were already cheering, praising the ones that had already made it over the line. You could feel your mind numb as Present Mic boomed again, your name on the speaker along with whatever placed you'd achieved, but suddenly you couldn't stand.
"I made it..." Your voice softened, and you felt your knees fall forward.
Izuku's voice fell by your ear, but it didn't make sense. It almost felt as though it was in another language.
"(Y- .....re........wha-.....(Y/N)?"
"Izuku... it happened again. I saw... I saw everyone and they... I made it."
Your eyes felt heavy, but you didn't feel tired. In your head, that same voice echoed, drowning out your thought. You could see the horrific images printed on the back of your eyelids. Your chest heaved with panic as you faced the nightmare. "No... No! Stop showing me this! I can't... I can't... stop this!"
"(Y/N)!" Izuku's voice couldn't break through your panic. In your arms you held your mother, her pale dead face mocking you in your useless inability to save her.
The body shifted in your arms, face changing as your heart attempted to escape you. Izuku. Uraraka. Inko. Todoroki. One by one your friends dead corpses fell into your arms in a waking nightmare. Your shrieked, trying to escape but having no domain over your body. Your scar burned, a painful reminder of how you couldn't even defend yourself, how you couldn't save them.
From what though?
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" You screamed.
I'm sorry if this chapter is too confusing. My intention is to be confusing, but sometime I do too much.