I'm the only 16 year old in my school that doesn't know how to swim. Our school unlike most, focuses on swimming, tennis and golf as a major sport instead of baseball or football. We have the state's largest swim teams with over forty members on each team. My best friend, Courtney is on the relay team, her sister is on the dive team and my mom is the couch for the synchronized swimming.
My one and only friend, Courtney, and my family knows why I can't swim, or let alone touch any water since I was little. Well that was before yesterday at Courtney's pool party. Her friends from school and I were there for her birthday. Her new boyfriend, Jacob tried to push me in the shallow end of the pool as a prank and I ended up on the ground screaming after throwing up on him.
Everyone there got to see me completely break down, crying and screaming about the water as I lay on the ground in a huddled mess, rocking back and forth. I was being laughed at and made fun of by everyone there, including Courtney. She eventually came over and helped me up off the ground and lead me to her poolside bathroom. As soon as I walked in, she closed the door behind me calling me a loser and that I should go home because I was embarrassing her.
I ended up calling my mom to come get me and left through the house instead of going outside to say good bye to anyone, not that anyone would care. My mom didn't say a word as she saw me shaking so bad and deathly white as I got in the car. After a few minutes in the car, she rolled down the window to let some fresh air in the car. I slunk even further into the seat to make myself as small as possible. I knew that I smelled bad to everyone else but I just didn't notice it any more.
My nose has become smell blind since I have gotten used to smelling so bad for so long. My fear of water is so bad that it takes both of my parents and my older sister to get me to take a bath. When I do, there is usually only about an inch of water in the tub and my mom or sister has to stay there to make sure that wash. I keep my hair really short so I don't have to worry about washing it and if it's raining outside I can't even get close to the door. I start gasping for air, a great pressure builds in my chest and I end up on the floor having a panic attack.
When I was in the first grade, my friend Anna, died in front of me from drinking water from the fountain. She had been laughing at something I said as she was taking a drink and the water went into her lungs. It wasn't a lot and we didn't know that it would hurt her. Later that day during lunch, she kept telling the teacher that her chest hurt and couldn't breathe. The teacher made a comment that she was talking so she could breathe just fine.
Soon after that her face started turning blue and she fell to the floor. She was rushed from the room and my mom told me that she was in heaven later that night. When I asked why it happened, she told me that she had died from water in her lungs. After that it was a fight to get me to drink anything, take baths, or learn how to swim. They wanted me to know how to swim because we had a very big and deep pool in the backyard.
My fear got so bad that my parents had to hire a renovator to come in and redesign the upstairs bedrooms so that I didn't have any windows to the backyard. Before the reno, all of the bedrooms faced the backyard with a big open space on the other side to see the foyer and living room from the hallway. It had to be done because I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and gasping for air like I was drowning.
Now years later, I still have this phobia that causes so many problems for me and my family. My older brother won't talk to me anymore because he is a sailor in the Navy and I freak out every time he brings up where he is at. My younger brother calls me a freak and that I smell like a pile of garbage. Dad just ignores me and pretends that I don't exist, he never understood how someone could be afraid of water.
Tomorrow I have to go back to school and face the abuse from everyone. I have already shut down my Facebook, Instagram and Twitter because of the comments that people have left on my profiles. No one but Courtney has my cell number so they haven't been tormenting on there yet. She's not replying to my texts or answering my calls. I guess she is still embarrassed by what I did.
Hey I just got ur messages, sry it took so long. It has been a busy weekend since we had to drain the pool and have it professionally cleaned before we could fill it again. It's okay about yesterday, I should have known that something was going to happen. SYL at school.
Staring at my phone, I feel even worse because of the extra work they had to do because of me. As I drift off to sleep all that I can think about was the water looming below me ready to suck me in and not let go. I wake up to my mom shaking me as my screams echoes throughout the house. I can hear my siblings groaning out loud about me waking them up and my dad storms down the stairs and out the backdoor to the pool suite. She soothes me back to sleep and quietly leaves the room and closes the door.
The next morning everyone is staring at me with anger in their eyes and starts my day off all wrong. No one wants me to ride with them and so I have to walk the four miles to school since I was kicked off of the bus permanently last year due to my smell. I try to keep to myself on my long walk with my head hanging down and not talking to anyone. It doesn't stop me from hearing what other people are saying about me.
Out of the corner of my eye, a beautiful Mazda Spider Eclipse convertible that I recognize from school pulls up beside me and I hear someone ask me if I want a ride to school. I turn my head to the left and sure enough there is Brett in his new car that he got last month for his 17th birthday. I can't help but stare at him and wonder why he is talking to me in the first place. He kind of grins and opens the door to the passenger side and waves me in. I look around to see if there is someone behind me but there is only me standing on the sidewalk.
I walk up to his car trying to act normal and ask him if he is playing a joke on me or is he being for real. He pats the seat and asks me if I wanted the ride or not. After thinking about it for a less than a sec, I jump in his car and close the door before he can change his mind. Brett speed off towards our school not really saying much but a little small talk questions and answers. I half expected him to stop before we got there and demand for me to get out but he pulled right up to the student parking lot.
When I get out of the car thanking him for the ride, I turn to start towards the school but there are a bunch of students standing there. I stop where I'm at as soon as I notice them and look around for a way to get away before they see me. But it's too late, they see almost as soon as I got out of the car as if they were waiting for me. I hear Courtney on the other side of the group asking if anyone sees Brett with me yet.
Everyone parts in the middle so that she can see me standing there with a puzzled look on my face and uncertainty in my eyes. She gets a wicked grin on her face as she walks up to me with a blindfold in her hand and grabs my upper arm. Another person that I don't know grabs my other arm and they walk me towards the back the of the school where the baseball fields are and the indoor swimming pool. I try to pull away or yell for help but someone puts a piece of cloth over my mouth. Courtney keeps telling me that it's going to be okay that they just want to help me get over my fear.
I can hear the pumps of the pool so I know that we are about to walk into the pool area. I hear water splashing as the swim team puts in a morning workout. The humidity of the room hits me hard and I start to feel faint as I see the pool getting closer and closer. Brett puts the blindfold on me and whispers that they are going to put me in the pool and give me a much needed bath. I hear the swim girls giggling and making jokes about me. Tears start to fall down my face as someone pushes forward into the pool as everyone cheers.
I hit the water hard and feel it pulling me down into its dark embrace. I try to hold my breath and swim towards the surface with flailing arms. My strokes become more erratic as I start to panic as I feel my chest tighten craving air. I swallow the last of the air in my mouth to ease the pressure in my lungs. The water is getting heavier and heavier to move through, it seems that I am being dragged down further than I am moving up. The desire to take a breath is becoming so hard to ignore that before I realize it, I take a big gulp of water.
My vision is getting darker as I slowly sink to the bottom of the pool and I wonder why no one is jumping in to save me. I can feel the water slowly filling up my lungs and body as I lay at the bottom staring up at everyone as they just stand there watching me drown. My body finally gives up and allows the last of the air in my lungs to float to the surface in a life robbing bubble.
*****
The police officer on the scene takes a statement from everyone there as the morgue techs enter the shower room at the back of the pool. A girl from the swim team just keeps muttering that it was just joke and that they didn't mean to hurt her as they walk by. The young girl on the floor was laying face down on the ground. Her hair and shoulders were wet and all of the showers were on full blast. The morgue techs made note of the horror stricken look on her face as they had rolled her over to place her on the body bag and gurney. One tech noticed that over her eyes was a blindfold that had been tied loosely over her eyes and was easily removed by the tech.
During the autopsy it was found that she had suffered a massive heart attack due to extreme fear. She had several ulcers and had the beginning stage of a staph infection on her back. It was noted that her hygiene was severely lacking and had an unclean smell emanating from it. There were no outward or internal signs of physical trauma to the body and the death was ruled as natural.