Chapter 29- I am home
There was only a few days left until we had to hold our event for Bill and Mary, and to be truthful, Kyle and I had not sorted anything.
Obviously we had Briony's arrangement which she was still on the move, but that was a few weeks away. This event was on us, and we hadn't even started yet.
"We need to start getting stuff now, Kyle, or we'll run out of time," I said as I started to feel a little worried.
We were currently sitting on a park bench, deciding that it would be much better if we were out in the fresh air. And it was true, I could think better with the fresh air surrounding us, even when Kyle jumbled my brain up.
"We've got this sorted, okay? Stop worrying, we're doing this together, nothing can go wrong," he replied as his arm wrapped around my waist from beside me.
"We're so unorganised," I groaned as I laid my face in my hands. Kyle took hold of my hands in one hand, and tilted my chin up until my eyes were looking into his. My breath caught in my throat. He always had that effect on me.
"I said stop worrying," he breathed. "We've got things sorted, I told you we have, now believe it," I sighed in reply.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," I rolled my eyes too.
"I knew you were going to roll your eyes," Kyle exclaimed. "Those amazing eyes of yours should stay looking into mine, not to the sky and back down again,"
"I can't help it, I guess old habits die hard," I replied sheepishly. Kyle smiled nonetheless.
"You're cute, really," he tapped my nose. I pouted and replied.
"Don't distract me, let's keep our heads in the game," I stated. "We've a lot to sort out,"
"I'd rather be looking at you,"
"Well, I'd rather look at you, but we can look at eachother later, right now we need to get things sorted," I replied. It was Kyle's turn to pout.
"How can you deprive me of not looking at the centre of my world?"
"That was cheesy, babe," I replied cheekily.
"I think there's a thin line between romance and cheesy, I mean, it'll sound cheesy, but it comes from the heart, and that's what's important, because if it came from the mind, well...people change their minds don't they? You can't change your hearts decisions," he shrugged. I nodded my head.
"You're right," I kissed his cheek. "Your heart may speak away,"
Kyle sat back again on the bench with his long, lean legs outstretched in front of him. His arm now rested above my waist and on the bench instead, but he still had a hand on my shoulder, he couldn't go a minute without touching me, without looking at me. It were like I wasn't real, as if he was only imagining me. That, of course, was not the case.
I was truely, whole heartedly, here. And his.
"I've got most things we need, I've got contact numbers for bands, the stage is out already, I've ordered that. We've done more than you think," Kyle stated after a few seconds of silence.
"Maybe so, but not enough, it's only two days away from us,"
"All we need to do is get the bands to come, put some banners and things up, and sort out the sound system," Kyle replied. "We'll do that Monday morning and I'll get the bands ready tonight,"
"I guess," I sighed. "We'll be fine," I let out another breath.
"I told you we would be," Kyle replied as my head laid onto his shoulder. He laid his hand into my hair.
"I know," I let out as I closed my eyes.
"I was thinking something," Kyle explained. "Maybe you could invite your father, I mean, I think he'd like to come and watch,"
"Yeah, I think he would," I replied as I sat up. "I'll ask him to come, that's if he isn't working," I replied almost down heartedly.
"He'll come, I know he will," Kyle replied almost gently. "Hey," Kyle said as he pulled my face down infront of his. "Never be upset, I don't like it," he let out sternly.
"I can't help it," I whispered. "I just miss him sometimes,"
"I know, baby, I know," he replied. "But I seriously don't like seeing you upset, it claws away at my heart and it just, hurts," he let out.
"I'm sorry for hurting you,"
"You can never hurt me, you'll kill me if you leave, but you'll never hurt me,"
"I'm not leaving, I told you I won't," I said again. I didn't want to leave, it would rip my heart out.
Suddenly, Kyle's phone starte ringing, he fished it out of his pocket and answered it without moving.
"Hey," he greeted. "Oh hey...yes of course...I'll be two minutes...okay...I'll see you in a few minutes," he shut down his phone as soon as his call had ended.
"Who was it?"
"My mother," Kyle exclaimed as he got up from the bench. He pulled my up with him until I was cradled in his arms. "I really need to go," he looked down into my eyes.
"That's okay," I smiled up to him. He pecked my lips before letting me go.
"I'll come round in a few hours," Kyle stated as he started to walk away.
"I'll be waiting," he smiled before he turned around and continued to walk forward.
Once he was out of view, I settled back onto the bench. I sighed.
I'm sure he was going to be the death of me. He was definitely a ladies man. No, he was my man. And I knew, I was his. I just hoped he never wanted to let go of me. I'm sure I was falling into the darker hole everyday. I was falling harder, and faster and everyday I wonder how I could fall any farther.
Suddenly, my phone began to ring, and I took it out of my pocket. I didn't bother to look at the ID, I thought it was going be Kyle.
"Hey," I beamed down the phone.
"Hey," the reply back was definitely not Kyle. The voice sent shivers through my body.
"Dustin? Why are you calling me?" I spat out. "Wasn't the message you received yesterday enough?"
"Uh...look, I really need to talk to you," he sounded almost nervous.
"I don't want to talk to you," Kyle would be extremely pissed.
"No, Cali, you need to, this is important," he let out. "I really want to talk to you," I sighed in reply.
"Can't you talk down the phone? I don't really want to see you,"
"No, you need to meet me somewhere," he replied. "I'm serious now, Cal, you need to come,"
"Where are we meeting?" I breathed out frustratingly, knowing already I had been defeated. I guess I wanted to know what he had to say.
"The cafè in Williams street," he exclaimed. "Thanks so much for this,"
"I'll be there in two minutes, don't leave me waiting," I snapped as I ended call.
I knew I was doing the wrong thing, but I was extremely curious. Dustin needed to talk to me, and I was going to give him that. And after all, my boyfriend did best him to a pulp. He couldn't do much.
I finally pulled myself up and I walked down the road until finally, I was near the cafè. I was only a couple of minutes away anyway.
My phone signalled a beep just as I had crossed the road. I opened it up immediately.
How are you doing? Where are you? I miss u already.
My fingers hovered over the keypad. I didn't know what to write back to Kyle. I didn't necessarily want to lie, but I didn't want to tell the whole truth either. He would come over, demanding I never speak to Dustin, and how ever much I don't want to, I need to. He needs me to.
Kyle would be extremely annoyed with me, but I had my own mind, and if I wanted to do this, then I would. Maybe I needed closure over Dustin, I needed to know what he thinks, and I needed to know what he says.
I'm good, just walking, I miss you too. I love you.
I didn't want him to feel as if I was getting back with Dustin if he ever found out. I felt bad, I felt guilty, but I wanted to do this.
I finally made my way into the cafè. I took a deep breath and sighted Dustin almost immediately. I made my way over to him, I sat down opposite him and gasped when I saw his face.
He was well and truely beaten up. His face was quite literally black and blue.
"You don't look so good," I let out. Dustin looked to me almost angrily. "Sorry," I replied stupidly. No wonder he was in such poor condition the way Kyle was going.
Dustin was the biggest dick head, and he deserved what was coming to him, but it was strange to see his face so swollen and bad.
My phone kept bleeping, signalling I had a text, but I ignored it.
"Look, Cali, I'm sorry," he replied. "I said some pretty awful things, extremely bad things,"
"I know," I replied. "You were such a prick," I stated truthfully. Dustin nodded.
"I know, but I have a reason,"
"Or an excuse?" I snapped.
"Not an excuse, a reason," he replied. "The thing is, whilst we were dating, I was diagnosed with having anger issues and I have been going to anger management for a while, but I don't go as much as I should, and I'm awful to you and Kyle when I get angry, I'm awful, especially to you," I didn't reply. I didn't know what to say. Anger issues? Really? I was bewildered. "This doesn't contribute to me cheating on you, I was just drunk then, that was my worst mistake, maybe if I never did that, you and I would still be together,"
"I doubt that, Dustin, I love Kyle, I would have fallen in love with him even when I was bound to you," I said truthfully. Dustin's head fell.
"I've never stopped loving you, but I guess your hearts not with me, for me,"
"No, it's not," I breathed. My phone began ringing, but I ignored it.
"I am sorry, I really am," he replied. I believed him, I really did.
"It's okay," I sighed.
"I'm fucked up, Cali, I'm glad you left when you did, for your sake," he replied. "I'm trying to get better, to sort myself out, I really am, it'll take some time but I need to be patient,"
"I understand, it's a mental challenge," I knew because my mother was mental too. "I hope you get better, I really do, even after everything you've done, I hope you find happiness," I shrugged as I looked to the table cloth.
It was hard to forgive him, but I had no other choice. To be happy with yourself, you shouldn't hold burdens against people. Whatever happens, you need to forgive to get on with life. However much I didn't want to, I was going to forgive, because that was just me. That's just who I was.
"Thanks, Cali, thankyou for coming, thankyou for listening, thankyou for everything,"
"Its okay, and on the contrary, I forgive you," I let out. Dustin looked to me.
"Really?"
"Yes, I just want closure now, I want this all to stop," I said honestly.
"Me too, it will stop from now on, I promise," and I knew he meant it. He looked so earnest, so vulnerable, and I knew I believed him. I needed this closure, I needed this, and I didn't regret what I was doing.
Dustin suddenly stood up from the table. I stood up with him.
"I've got to go, but thankyou," he pulled me into a hug, and when I looked to the door, my heart fell.
Kyle was pounding up to Dustin and I, and he didn't look all that pleased. Infact, he looked extremely angry.
"Go, go through the back exit," I whispered in his ear. Dustin was about to question. "Just go before you get another beating," Dustin got the message, finally, and made his way through the back door before Kyle could get to him.
As he left, I turned around and Kyle was stood infront of me, his body almost shaking with anger.
"Get in the car," he demanded. I stood fully planted to the floor.
"Why should I? What are you even doing here?" I asked angrily.
"What am I doing here?" Kyle asked incredulously. "What the fuck are you doing here with that dick?" He almost barked.
"For fuck sake, just leave me alone," I said in anger and fustration. I didn't need this.
"No, get in the car," he pointed to the door, and I'm sure we were attracting an audience.
"Kyle," I said exasperated.
"Car. Now," he punctuated. I sighed with fustration and defeat as I stormed out of the cafè. I threw myself into his car as I strapped myself in angrily.
Kyle got in too, and started to rev the engine until we were powering on to the road.
Kyle was extremely angry, his hands were almost white against the wheel, and his foot on the floor was down low.
"Slow down," I demanded. Kyle didn't reply, neither did he look at me. His emotion was gone, his care was gone. "Are you going to talk to me?" I asked. Kyle don't reply, again. I threw my head back in anger. "Fucking childish," was my mumbled reply.
The car ride was extremely boring and full of tension. I could feel it radiating from the both of us. We were both angry, but Kyle was definitely much more angrier than me.
"Are you going to talk to me now?" I asked as we pulled up onto his drive. He stayed silent. "What the fucks up with you?" I shouted.
"What the fucks up with you?" He shouted back. "You went to a cafè with your ex boyfriend who called you all the names under the sun, someone I hate to the bone, someone who nearly fucking raped you all those months ago!" I flinched back at his shouting voice.
"We needed to talk!"
"What? And hug? It was like watching a fucking first date!" Kyle swore blindly, he did when he was angry.
"You don't understand anything, Kyle, just leave it out," I snapped.
"I do understand, I was there all those times he said nasty things to you, I was there, I was always fucking there,"
"You weren't there before, you weren't there when we were talking,"
"Do you still love him?" He let out angrily, changing the subject. My anger bubbled again.
"Are you fucking nuts?" I whispered menacingly. "I can't be doing with you," I said as I opened the door and stomped out of the car. Kyle opened his door and got out too.
"Do you?" He shouted over the roof as he made his way to me. I backed up a little.
"Why would you do this to me? Why would you bring me down like this? This is the second time now, the second time you assume something which isn't true," I said as tears welled up in my eyes. Kyle's face softened.
"Oh, baby," he whispered. He hated seeing me upset, just seeing me like this could help dampen the fire inside.
"Just leave me alone, Kyle," I sniffled. He made his way over to me, but I backed away. "I said leave me alone,"
"Don't do this," he said. "I'm sorry, I am, I just get so jealous, so possessive," he looked down to the floor. "You weren't answering me and you got me all scared and worried and then I see you hugging that piece of shit and it just set me off,"
"You need to learn to be rational,"
"I can't, not around you, you drive me crazy, I've never been like this with anyone before, you're the only one," he stated. He looked vulnerable. "Man, I just fucking love you, Cali, I really do, I can't prove it to you, I can, but how do I know if you'll believe me still?"
"I believe you when you say it, what about when I say it? You think I still love Dustin," I exclaimed. And that hurt.
"I can never believe it," he stated.
"But why?" I let out. "Why can't you believe it?"
"Because how can someone like you love someone like me?" He almost shouted. "How can that possibly happen? I constantly worry you're going to leave me, one day I'm going to come home and you've left me a messaging saying you've finished me, I hate feeling like this but I don't want you to go, I want you to love me, I want you to stay with me, I need you,"
"I do love you!" I shouted. "I said I'll never leave, why don't you believe me? That hurts, Kyle, knowing you never believe what I say,"
"I do, baby, I always believe you, deep down I do, but it's hard when I don't believe in myself,"
"You need to learn to believe me, and stop trying to trample everybody who gets in your way," I threw my hands up into the air.
"I'll trample everybody who tries to stop me from being with you, I'd even trample myself just so I don't lose you," he said.
"Just go home, Kyle," I looked down to the floor with exhaustion. All energy had been burnt, and I was extremely tired. I've had enough already today.
"I am home," Kyle stated as he comes over to me slowly, but I don't even attempt to move away. "I'm with you,"
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