Ryan is lying on Spencer's bed, legs dangling over the side and staring at the ceiling. Spencer is sitting next to him, scrolling through something on his phone. Ryan sighs randomly and Spencer looks at him and raises an eyebrow.
"I'm so confused, Spence," he says, still looking at the ceiling.
"About what?" he asks.
Ryan takes a deep breath and releases it before speaking again. "I, I'm not exactly sure, honestly." Ryan only says this to stall the next words that will come out of his mouth after Spencer speaks.
"Ryan, we've known each other for way too many years. You can tell me what's on your mind." For being twelve, Spencer was surprisingly calm and mature about things. Sure, he did laugh at the occasional innuendo, but he understood when people needed to talk about personal things.
"There's- there's a lot of things I'm confused about. But you can't tell a soul." Ryan pauses to look Spencer in his eyes, then when Spencer nods, he returns his gaze back to the ceiling. "For starters, my dad, he-he beats me, Spence. He gets drunk, and he beats me." Tears start to well up in the older boy's eyes, but he blinks them away and takes in a shuddery breath. "He always calls me gay, and I've always told him I'm not, but," his voice starts to get quieter, "I'm not sure about that anymore."
"What do you mean you're 'not sure about that anymore'?" Spencer asks, not wanting to comment on his best friend's father.
"I-I think I'm gay, or maybe bi or something, but I'm not sure."
"Care to elaborate?"
"Well, I like girls and all, and I think I'm starting to like a guy too. I get knots in my stomach when I'm around him, and tingling feelings when we touch. I just don't know anymore."
"Who is it? The guy you like."
Ryan takes in a breath, releases it, and continues to stare at the ceiling. He closes his eyes and mumbles, "Brendon."
"Who?"
"Brendon!" he practically yells. "I think I like him," he mumbles the last part. Spencer just hums in response, and they sit in silence for a little longer. "God, this is so stupid. I'm thirteen! What am I going through? Why are feelings so confusing? Isn't this a thing that high schoolers feel and stuff?" Spencer remains silent.
"Ryan, honey!" Spencer's mom shouts from downstairs. "It's almost five o'clock!"
Ryan sighs as he pulls himself up. "See you tomorrow."
"Bye."
Ryan exits the Smith's home and walks across their lawn to his house. He doesn't see his dad's car in the driveway, so he rushes to the front door and hurriedly unlocks it. He closes it behind him and heads up to his room and waits for his father to return from work and, for Ryan's sake, not be drunk.
Before his dad arrived, he popped his earbuds in and shuffled all of his music. After a few songs played, Ryan got a text from Brendon.
Brendon: bored, send help
Ryan: idk how to help
Ryan: talk to your gf or something idfk
Ryan was feeling especially angry because just when he had kind of sort of figured things out with his feelings, Brendon had to waltz in with a girlfriend a month ago. But Ryan will wait. He keeps telling himself this. He'll wait.
"George!" his father shouts, loud enough for Ryan to hear through the music and snap him out of his thoughts. Ryan flinches. He can already feel the pain shooting through his body.
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A/N: People👏need👏to👏chill👏 (not directed to anyone here).
The time skip in this chapter is to around mid-October.