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The day of Claire's surgery
"Are you excited?" I asked, my knees jumping up and down from my own excitement as I sat in one of the two chairs beside Claire's bed.
"I'm excited to walk again, not to be split open," she giggled.
"Don't forget you've got heaps of rehab and you need to keep up with it," in came Mr Serious Mason. I rested my hand on his knee as if to say, 'one thing at a time.'
"I know, but I just can't wait to actually walk again. To not have to worry about catching a cold or ask someone to help me to the bathroom four times a day."
I nodded. I didn't know what she was going through, but from what she'd told me I couldn't wait for her to get her previous life back.
"Soon," I whispered with a smile, taking her hand and giving it a tight squeeze.
Mason had been quiet and if he did say something it was some factual biology stuff that I didn't really understand. I mean I nodded with pursed lips and said 'yes, yes' twirling my metaphorical moustache so he thought I understood, but I don't think it was very effective...
"Ashley, do you mind if I talk to Mason for a sec?" Claire asked, her voice small and serious.
"Yeah of course, I'll just run a grab a coffee,"
I got up and went on search for the small cafe on the corner I saw when we walked in.
While ordering two coffees I looked around and thought about how many times we'd been here in this last year.
First there was the car crash - thanks Lucas.
Second there was when Mason thought it would be a good idea to scale the side of our apartment building when we'd both forgotten our keys, and he plummeted 2.5 metres into a stack of full rubbish bags and thought he'd broken his ribs - luckily he didn't but we had a great story to tell.
Third there was Cameron after he thought he'd broken his ankle, turns out he'd just twisted it, and when I asked how he and Mason shared a shifty glance. I still have to ask him about that...
Fourth there was when I was pregnant - the doctors office was within the hospital building.
And then there was now. I prayed that this would be the last time we'd have to come here for a while.
Mason came and stood beside me, his breathing a little ragged but normal enough.
I wrapped my arm around his waist and rested my head against his shoulder.
"You okay?" I said just loud enough for him to hear, looking up at his face.
He leaned down to kiss me gently, giving me a quick squeeze before our coffees were in front of us.
We started making our way back to Claire's room.
"I still have to ask you, how did Cameron twist his ankle?" My eyes were like little needles as his face grew the expression and I can most easily describe as 'oh, shit'.
He opened his mouth to reply but was saved by a man in scrubs and a lab coat coming up beside us.
"Mason Murphy? Claire's brother?" He asked, holding a report on a board, glancing at it quickly.
"Yeah that's me, this is my... partner, Ashley,"
He gestured to me and I smiled politely at the surgeon who was wearing anything but.
"I just wanted to talk to you before we take your sister in. I'm a little concerned about how weak her immune system is, we've done procedures with patients who have had weaker immune systems and they've worked out perfectly but there's also the risk that it will go the other way,"
Mason crossed his arms and tried not to allow his concern to creep onto his face but I could see he was scared.
"So what are you wanting to do?" He asked and I looked back into the room where Claire was sitting staring at the tv.
"It's up to you, there's a percentage high enough for me to want to try but also high enough to not to. It's ultimately your decision,"
The surgeon gave us two options, but it's not our decision. It's Claire's.
"Mason, I think we should let Claire decide," I offered, my hand on the inside of his bicep.
He looked down at me, his lips slightly parted as he stared into my eyes, deliberating whether or not he should decide for her.
A moment passed and he finally nodded, gesturing for myself and the surgeon to enter with himself not far behind.
"Miss Murphy," started the surgeon as I took a seat in the chair beside her bed and Mason sat on the arm.
He explained to her what he'd told us and I noticed the smile on Claire's face falter ever so slightly.
"I want to go ahead with the surgery," she said, adamant in her response.
"Claire, are you sure?" I offered, my hand resting gently on Mason's knee as I felt him tense.
"If I don't have the surgery then I'll spend forever thinking what would have happened if I had. If I do, I have a chance of spending my life like you," she reasoned. Her eyes were pleading but calm. She was sure and there was nothing we could do to stop it. "If I have to take that chance then I will."
Mason nodded reluctantly, turning towards the surgeon who was standing there silently, simply observing. He nodded, holding his breath and I could practically feel his heart plummet a little at the thought of potentially losing Claire.
We said our good lucks and I left Mason to say his to her alone. When he came outside the room his cheeks were damp and he wrapped his arm tightly around my shoulders.
"It's going to be okay, she's a fighter," I whispered up at him and he kissed my forehead forcefully.
"Thank you so much, sweetheart," he murmured against my skin.
The nurses wheeled Claire out on the bed and she waved at us as she went down the hallway.
Anxiety doesn't even begin to describe how we were feeling as we sat in the waiting room silently. Mason's knee bounced up and down and I had effectively exhausted all finger nails of chewing. I decided against chewing Mason's...
"Do want anything to eat?" I asked, my voice slightly croaky from not speaking in a while.
He shook his head and got up to pace about the room.
We waited and waited and waited and the longer we waited the more fear creeped into our belly's.
That fear wasn't made any better as we saw our surgeon walking towards us in the waiting room.
"Mr Murphy," he started, showing little to no expression on his face and I could feel tears of fear begin to well in my eyes.
"Yes," breathed Mason. This was one of the few times where I'd actually seen Mason allow his emotions to escape onto his face. He was tired and oh so scared.
"We believe Claire's immune system has gotten the better of her. One of her kidneys has failed and I'm afraid I'm not prepared to continue surgery when there's too much of a risk." He expressed very calmly.
Mason's fists balled at his side and the vein in his neck started to bulge.
"What do you mean!? How could you let this happen!?" He yelled in the surgeons face as his arms tensed up.
I needed to do something. There's no way Mason wouldn't be sent to jail for assaulting a member of hospital staff and when his emotions were this raw anything was possible.
He continued yelling in the surgeons face as the surgeon tried to calm him down, obviously having experienced similar.
I grabbed Mason by the top of his shoulders but he struggled against me, his voice becoming hoarse as he continued to scream at our only hope.
I finally managed to pull him back and into my arms where he buried his face in my shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably as he grasped and clung to me as though I was a lifeline. Gasping though sobs to not lose his sister.
My heart hurts 😢