Hey guys! I'm on fire with these updates aren't I!?
Anyway, don't forget to check out my new book on my profile, send me your questions for the Q&A and vote!!
Enjoy!
The week proceeding my miscarriage was rough.
I couldn't bring myself to focus on uni or anything else important. The only things I could focus on were movies and books - and even they were a struggle.
In a week and a half, I'd read five books finished GossipGirl twice and watched the inbetweeners back to back.
I guess I just found solace in living other people's happy endings since I'd lost mine in such a short frame of time. In books I could take happiness for granted, in life, not so much.
I knew it frustrated Mason that I didn't want to do anything despite him trying. He offered we go for a drive down to the beach or go for walks around town but I just wasn't in the mood.
At uni I sat and tapped my pen on my table and stared at my computer screen as through I could see through it.
I just had no motivation to do anything. I couldn't be bothered cooking, cleaning or doing anything other than sitting on the window seat with my book or my laptop until the early hours of the morning.
Mason had been patient up until just now when he snapped.
"Come on, Ashley!" He yelled as he slammed his hand onto the bed beside me, making the covers puff up and giving me a fright.
"What?" I asked innocently, not taking my eyes from my book. What? I didn't want to lose my place...
"You need to do something, get up and dance or make some really weird experiment in the kitchen and force me to eat it. Be you again!" He got up and stormed out of the room.
I deliberated a few seconds before following him. He was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.
I stared at him, my arms wrapped around my waist, unsure of what to do.
"I want my Ashley back," he groaned, rubbing his eyes forcefully.
"I'm here,"
"But you aren't. Remember when you woke me up from a nap because you wanted to force feed me a marshmallow cheesecake? Remember how hard you laughed when you realised that you mixed up the sugar with salt and the cinnamon with the chilli powder?"
A slight smile crept onto my face as I remembered him running to the bathroom in shock.
"Remember when you thought I was gonna be at uni all day and I walked in on you dancing around the apartment in one of my T-shirts. I stood and watched you for five minutes before you realised I was leaning against the wall."
I nodded, biting my lip from embarrassment.
"That'sp Ashley. Where'd she go?" He stood and stepped in close to me, taking my waist in his hands.
"She's taking a nap," I muttered, avoiding his pleading eyes.
"I love you. I love you so much and I don't want you to start recoiling into your shell. Let's do something. Let's do something crazy!" His eyes became playful and my favourite smile adorned his face. It was like he'd become a child again, that sense of adulthood dissipated for the smallest of moments and that playfulness had replaced it.
"Like what?" I questioned, nudging him a little, allowing my own smile to play on my face.
He pursed his lips, thinking about his answer before he nodded and pushed me towards the bedroom.
"Get changed and be ready in two minutes."
Confused, I pulled on a pair of jeans and a jumper, grabbed my purse and met back with him in the living room.
"Where are we going?" He pulled me to the stairs where we made our way down to the garage.
He pulled the covering sheet off his bike and patted it with adoration, as though he'd built it himself.
He threw me a helmet and put his own on while he sat on the seat. His face was covered now, only showing his eyes which crinkled at the sides when I asked him again.
I clipped my helmet's chin strap and held onto his shoulders to slide across.
I held my arms tight around his waist as he revved the engine of his bike and I thought I heard him moan in happiness. He'd hardly ridden his bike in two and half months. He'd ridden it probably twice and I could feel the happiness radiating from him as he rolled up out of the garage.
It was quite invigorating to feel the wind wooshing past us. I felt free, like I was going flying through the air. I held on tighter around Mason's waist and rested my chin on his shoulder.
We pulled up in front of a strip of shops all with their lights on looking like a beacon in the dark.
"You're taking me to get kebabs?" I raised my eyes brows as I stood out the front of food shops.
"No," he laughed, taking my hand and pulling me along beside him.
"Mason, please just tell me where we're going," I whined, holding his arm as we walked through the old town square.
"We're getting tattoos."
I stopped dead in my tracks.
"What?" I squeaked out. Tattoos!? A part of me was squealing in delight and another part was saying no, no, no!
"Yeah, come on, step out of your comfort zone," he reached for my hand again but I stayed where I was.
"I can't get a tattoo,"
"Sure you can, I promise it doesn't hurt that much," his eyes were pleading and playful while I shook my head back and forth.
I was reminded of the tattoo on his ribs that I'd first seen when I was having a cheeky peak through his door in the living room...
#noragrets
"I don't think so, I mean I want one but, I dont think so," I started to step backwards slowly.
"I'm not gonna force you to get one so if you really don't want one we can turn around and go home now,"
I stilled. I'd never done something this impulsive and it sort of excited me. Mason's mouth twitched as he advanced on me and lifted me over his shoulder.
"Mason! Put me down!" I screeched as he continued to walk forward. I looked around and noticed an elderly couple sitting on a park bench laughing nostalgically at us and pointing.
"Nope, you had your chance," he laughed, jostling me a little on his shoulder making me huff.
I punched his butt causing him to jump and put me down, I jogged away from him giggling but his legs are longer than mine and he managed to catch up to me quickly.
He wrapped one long around my waist and swung me around so I was off the ground.
I was giggling so hard that no noise was coming out and I was wheezing like an old car.
"Welcome back, sweetheart," he whispered in my ear as I rested my back against his chest to calm down.
In a sudden burst of bravery I took his hand and pulled him towards the tattoo parlour.
After 45 minutes of examining books of tattoo designs and pictures on the walls, and dragging Mason was from the 'I Love Chicken Nuggets' tattoo we finally decided.
We chose a simple design of a mountain to say if we can conquer this last year we can conquer anything.
I surprised myself by being really excited to get it, I practically jumped on the table before Mason reminded me I had to choose where to put it.
Mason was sitting on the bench beside me where they were preparing just under the crook of his elbow.
I decided to get it on the back of my leg, a few inches above my heel.
It wasn't necessarily painful, it was more uncomfortable than anything else. There were a few times I cringed when my tattoo artist, a purple haired girl who had tattoos everywhere up to her neck hit a sensitive spot.
Every time I looked over at Mason he beamed at me. It was one of those proud smiles, like he was happy with what he'd accomplished.
They wrapped us up in cling film and we paid after a lengthy explanation of what to do to take care of it which I paid much attention to and Mason just nodded like he was bored.
"Well, I can check that off my bucked list," I jeered as we walked back to Mason's bike.
"Glad you did it?" He asked, draping his arm lazily over my shoulder.
"Yes." I affirmed. It was true, I was happy I did it and I felt considerably much brighter than I felt a few hours ago.
Maybe everything will be alright, I mean, we just got over an obstacle, bring on the next one!