"Thank you."
Samuel spoke the words as I came back to sit on the couch. We had spent a sufficient amount of time crying in one another's arms, and after the worst of it had passed, we were left exhausted. I left to get water, hoping to revive us, if only a little. When I returned from the kitchen, Samuel was almost back to normal.
He was sitting on the edge of the couch, leaning forward and bracing himself on his knees. His brow was furrowed so deep that I almost couldn't see his eyes. Thoughts were racing across his face, but when I handed him his cup, they stilled.
I sat down next to him. "What are you thinking?"
"Too much." Samuel shook his head, rubbing his bloodshot eyes.
"It's not that bad, you know." I attempted a smile to lighten the mood.
Samuel raised an eyebrow. "What's not that bad?"
"Being human. You talk like its a plague, or something. It's really not that bad."
Samuel looked at me for a long time. I held his gaze for as long as I could, but eventually, I broke away. When my eyes traveled back to my cup, I heard Samuel sigh next to me.
"I've been told differently."
"Just because you're told something, doesn't mean that it's true."
Samuel shifted so that he was facing me. I leaned further against the arm of the couch, just out of reach of him. Samuel regarded the distance for a minute before throwing an arm over the back cushions and sinking further into their comfort. He let out a long sigh before he responded.
"From the moment I arrived here, it's been ingrained in my mind that wolves are better, Samantha."
"And do you really believe that?" I bit my lip, suddenly unsure if I wanted to know the answer. My gaze flicked up to Samuel just in time to see the lines on his face crease deeper into the skin.
"I did," he nodded.
Anger pricked at my heart. It was a sudden fire that sent sparks into my vision. "Well, that's good to know, Samuel." I tried and failed miserably at keeping the venom from my voice. Apparently, nothing had changed. Despite his past, his pain, Samuel would still forever hold himself above me and what he used to be.
Samuel's distracted gaze shot back to me. I avoided it, swirling the contents of my drinks in my cup. His hand crept toward me but halted halfway there.
"I said 'did,' Samantha, not 'do.' Things are more complicated, now," he mumbled.
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "What's complicated about thinking you're better than someone? That you can treat everyone like dirt and control everything because you're a wolf?"
He shook his head and drooped his eyes. "When everyone tells you something, over and over again, its hard to distinguish what is real and what you're just being told. After a while, you start to believe their words and it becomes a part of who you are." He paused, trying to catch my gaze. My narrowed eyes snapped to him, and he flinched. "Going against what you've always been told isn't easy, Samantha. It's changing the entire way you think. It doesn't happen overnight."
I turned my head away and pursed my lips. The sudden fire of anger had just been doused, despite my best efforts to rekindle it. Samuel's words rang totally and completely true. There was no disputing him because I felt the same way.
It seemed like so long ago I'd first met Samuel, and I had been terrified. Every interaction I'd had with the wolves only brought me pain and discomfort. Everything I'd ever heard about them was that they were ruthless, bloodthirsty creatures who were more monster than man. Then, Samuel proved to me that wasn't necessarily true. He was the first person to make me realize that not everything is as cut and dry as its made out to be. I understood just how complicated it could be.
After a few silent minutes, I let out a defeated breath. "I think I understand what you're saying."
Samuel gawked. "You do?"
"Don't give me that look," I snapped. "I'm capable of changing my mind, too."
A slow smile crept onto his lips. "I'm sorry, I was just expecting a different reaction. A fight and yelling, maybe. But, not this."
I rolled my eyes and tried to keep the smile from my lips. Samuel looked too relieved for his own good. "Yeah, well, I decided it wasn't worth it."
"I agree."
Before I could say anything else, Samuel stood and gathered the pictures that littered the floor and coffee table. He placed each photo in its rightful place inside the cardboard box, arranging them so they wouldn't break. When everything was put away, he folded it shut, and disappeared into his room.
While he was gone, my thoughts wandered back to his revelation. It was still hard to believe what he'd told me. I tried to tell myself it didn't change anything, but in all honesty, it did. Somehow, I felt more comfortable with Samuel, knowing that he used to be like me. I didn't know if it was right to feel that way, and I didn't know what all those feelings entailed, either. I did recognize that where my thoughts of him used to be filled with hatred, now there was something more than tolerance.
Samuel startled me by flopping back onto the couch and swinging his legs onto the coffee table. He laughed at my reaction, taking another swig of his water and looking at me.
"What are you so deep in thought about?" He paused, then smirked. "Me, I hope?"
I took a calming breath and rolled my eyes. "You sound too much like Riley."
He laughed. It was loud, full, and similar to a bark. I'd only heard that sound from Samuel a small number of times, so I couldn't keep a smile from leaking into my annoyance.
"Well, Riley and I did grow up together," Samuel shrugged. "You know we were close."
"Maybe a bit too close."
He laughed again, and I beamed. Leave it to Samuel to turn a previously tear-filled and bleak evening into one consumed with laughter.
When his laughter died off, I shook my head, remembering my thoughts from earlier. "Can I ask you a question?"
Samuel folded his hands behind his head, a smile still lingering on his expression. "You don't have to ask permission for anything, Samantha. I think we're past that."
"Sorry. Habit."
He shrugged, then looked at me with raised eyebrows.
"Why now?" I paused, gathering my thoughts. "Why share all of this information with me now, if you were just planning on letting me and Will leave?"
Samuel sighed, the smile disappearing. "You need somewhere to go. You said you wanted away from the wolves. I thought my mother might be your best option."
"How could she help Will, though? Isn't your mother human?"
"She was. Is." He groaned, taking his feet off the table and setting them on the floor. He leaned forward and ran a hand across the back of his neck. "She always helped the newly shifted wolves in my father's pack. Don't ask me how she did it, I don't know. All I remember is that she helped them. She can do the same for Will." He glanced at me. "If we can find her. If she's alive."
Samuel's last sentence was spoken with such nonchalance that anyone else would have bought the uncaring tone. However, I had seen his mask too many times not to know when it was being put on. He was worried, there was no questioning it. He just didn't want me to know.
"How are we going to find her?"
Samuel leaned forward, cradling his head in his hands. "I've got some ideas. There's a few members of the old pack I remember from when I was a kid. If I can track them down, they might know something. Marshall has been looking into it all for a while, now, too. He has a few numbers from my old pack for me to call."
"He knew this was going to happen?"
Samuel gave me a side glance and a small smile. "No. He just wanted me to get back in contact with my family. I always told him it was a waste of time, that I was never going to be able to go back, but I guess his stubbornness paid off."
I laughed once. "I guess so."
Samuel stood and picked up his drink from the table. He offered to take mine, and I gave it to him after downing the last of the water. He disappeared to the other end of the room where I heard the faucet running and the glass cups clinking together. I turned just as he shut off the water and leaned against the counter.
"What are you going to do when we find them?"
He looked up from the kitchen and back into the living room where I sat. Instead of coming back to the couch though, he shrugged and began wiping down the cups.
"Set up a place for you and Will to meet them."
I bit my lip, fighting my next question. Like before, I was unsure if I wanted to know the answer, or to have my question imply something I didn't think I wanted.
"Are you coming with us?" Samuel stilled, and I rushed out my next words. "To see your family, I mean."
"I won't be joining you."
"But, don't you want to see them?"
I saw the visible tension seize control of Samuel's shoulders. "I can't. It's not safe. I won't be able to disappear like you. If I leave, then it will endanger your chances of escape."
My brow furrowed. "Samuel, what's going to happen to you when we disappear?"
He shrugged, but the tension never left his body. "The chiefs will come and decide my fate. I am first in line for the Alpha position, so it shouldn't be a problem for them to let me take it."
I sensed there was more than what he was telling me. "But?"
"But," Samuel breathed deeply. "If someone challenges my position, they will decide who is better fit. With the circumstances of Riley's death, they are going to be careful and meticulous about the whole thing."
"You think someone will challenge you." It was more of a statement than a question. "Bray?"
Usually, Samuel refused to acknowledge the potential mutiny within his pack. Anytime I brought up the possibility that everything that was going wrong could have something to do with the wolves, Samuel would refuse to speak on it. 'The pack is family,' he would tell me, and that would finalize any conversation. But, nothing ever added up, and my concerns were never resolved. These are the very reasons I was so surprised when Samuel actually answered my accusation.
"Yes," he said simply. "Someone like Bray could challenge me."
Samuel must have noticed my surprise because he quickly continued.
"It's not safe to speak badly of the pack in their presence, Samantha. If I entertain the thought of betrayal or weakness within ranks, people will latch onto it. They don't like uncertainty. They want to know we trust one another, as a pack should."
"Even if that's clearly not the case?"
Samuel placed the cups down on the counter and meandered back into the living room, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Yes, even if that's not the case. That's why we can't accuse Bray of anything. The accusation will only incite havoc within the pack."
I pondered his words for a moment. "Do you think Bray had something to do with everything that happened? To Riley?" My voice grew small. "Will? My mother?"
He was standing next to the couch, now. Instead of sitting, he leaned against the back of it. I turned my body to face him. "I don't know. I hope not." He paused, furrowing his brow. "James is still a candidate. What happened to your family is too personal for Bray to be involved in."
Though his words held finality, I could sense the uncertainty lacing Samuel's tone. He waved one of his hands though, continuing. "You don't need to worry about that anymore, anyways. You'll be gone and I'll fix everything."
"Unless you're not Alpha."
He grimaced. "Unless I'm not Alpha."
"Does the pack get a say in it? Surely, they like you more than Bray." I twisted my hands in my lap.
He flashed me a grin. "Tell me, what would they like more about me?"
"Samuel," I deadpanned.
He sighed. "The pack may voice their opinions, but it is ultimately the chief's job to ensure the pack is run by a capable Alpha. If not, they'll have more issues with the pack, later. Then, they'd have to get the Grand Alpha involved and to be honest, no one wants that."
Confusion must have been evident on my face, once more. Before I could even question him, Samuel was explaining.
"I'm sorry, I forget you didn't grow up with all of this." He paused with his mouth hanging open in thought. "There are six Chiefs and one Grand Alpha. Together, they make up the council. They're the ones who make the decisions for the entire werewolf population. Usually, the Chiefs handle everything and the Grand Alpha only intervenes when the Chiefs need help, which is rare."
"So, he's more of a figurehead?"
"Not really. He's just never seen, and no one wants to see him. In the past, every time he's visited a pack, it was because they were conspiring against the council, though he's threatened to intervene for other reasons, as well. Every time he shows up, packs are killed. That's the only way to ensure peace."
I took a deep breath. "Brutal."
Samuel nodded. "That's why it's best for the Alpha transition to go smoothly."
I bit my lip, thoughts swarming my mind. "But, I mean, what would happen if Bray becomes Alpha? What about Goldie? Didn't you say she was something, too? Couldn't she take the position? What about you being human? Does that change anything?"
He grimaced. "Goldie's the Beta Female, yes. But, unless she wants the position, which she doesn't, the chiefs won't consider her for Alpha." His fingers tapped on the back of the couch as he answered my next questions. "No one else knows what I used to be. As long as they don't find out, nothing will change."
His words incited another thought. I looked up at Samuel for a moment, taking in his ragged state, creased brow, and bloodshot eyes. His arms were holding too much of his weight against the back of the couch, and his knuckles were white. He was beaten down and exhausted.
"Do you want it, Samuel?"
He looked at me, startled.
"Do you want to be the Alpha?" I repeated.
His mouth was slightly agape, and his gaze wouldn't leave me. For a few moments, the truth was written plainly on his face. Then, he shook his head and took a deep breath, giving me a tight smile. "You worry too much, Samantha. You'll be long gone before any of this happens."
I opened my mouth to dispute, but as I did, Samuel's pocket beeped. He pulled out a phone and squinted his eyes, reading a small message printed on the screen. After a moment, his shoulders tensed, again.
"We have to get back."
"What's going on?"
The phone slipped back into Samuel's pocket. "Nothings wrong. We just need to get back. I've got to speak with Marshall and have him start gathering the numbers to call. You should sleep."
Samuel was already walking back across the room toward the front door. He paused, looking back at me. I held back a sigh and stood slowly so as not to disturb any healing injuries. Samuel looked like he wanted to help but ultimately thought better of it.
When I came to stand beside him, we both hesitated at the door. I took a quick last look at the apartment and had the sudden feeling I wouldn't be coming back. The thought tugged at my heart in strange ways. Samuel watched me as my gaze scanned the rooms, then came back to him. He gestured toward the broken front door, and before I could stop myself, I took his hand in my own. Samuel gave me a sad smile before squeezing my fingers against his own and leading us out of the building.
***
I'm baaaack!!
Well, finals are over and I officially have a college degree under my belt! WOO! That's good news for everyone because no college = more writing time! Hopefully, I'll be able to finish up Not My Alpha fairly quickly. We'll see how it all goes.
Okay - I want everyone's predictions for the ending! What do you think will happen to Sam2? Who is behind everything? What sort of crap is going to hit the fan?
Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to not only read this chapter, but my rambling authors note, as well. You guys are amazing!!
Mquistey