i hate that i can't call
you at 3am
like i used to
because otherwise
they'll tease me
and humiliate me
and shout
until all i can do
is cry
and apologise
for everything
and nothing
at all.
there's nothing
really here for me
anymore.
other than two friends
who are better parents
than my own
and three friends
who gave up on me.
there's nothing here
but stress
and anxiety
and loneliness
and tears
nothing here
but discarded blades
and empty apologies
and broken promises
i just wanna
get the one
message
that will give
me
something
again.
because i love you
and i just wanna
go home.