John's POV
I am sitting in the small coffee shop where Alex works. I made sure that he was not working today. I don't want to run into him. I sit, thinking about the letter I wrote Alex. Does it sound like I am making excuses?
I can't handle this. I need to go back. I need Alex (Yes. Yes you do John) I just need to be near him.
I pick up my coffee (Black with no sweeteners. Usually, I don't like plain, but....it is the perfect coffee for grieving.) and start walking towards the apartment, dragging my feet.
When I get to the door, I hold my hand to the door before lifting it up, and knocking twice. I hear footsteps, and see Alex. His hair disheveled, and his eyes tinged with red. He looks like he hasn't slept in a week. He loosed weak and afraid. Knowing him, he probably has been working non stop with me not there to stop him, and get him away from his laptop.
After a few seconds of looking me up and down, and shut the door. Not hard or with malice, but sadly, like he has given up.
That worried me. Alex is the one who always has something to say.
I really hurt him.
I slowly open the door, and see that Alex's door is shut. I go to my room, changing out of Laff's clothes, putting them in a bag to return to him. I change into a hoodie and sweatpants. It is Sunday, so I decide that I need to try to talk to him tonight.
I step out of my room, and walk down to Alex's door. I knock and when I hear no response, I open the door. He is not in the room, so I step through the cracked door into the adjoining bathroom. I gasp when I comprehend what I see.
It is Alex, sitting on the floor, small knife in hand. There are slits on his wrist, and blood dripping onto his hand.
When he sees that I am in the room, he tries to pull his sleeve over his wrist, but I get to him first. I grab the knife away from him, and set on the far edge of the counter while I race to the kitchen to grab the first aid kit and antiseptic. I sit down on the floor next to him, and make him turn his wrists over, and see dozens of cuts, and I ask, "Did....you....."
He nods, and looks down in shame.
I put my hand under his chin and say, "We can figure all this out later. For now, we need to take care of those cuts."
He nods, and holds out his wrists for me to put the alcohol on. I put it on with a few cotton balls. He winces, and I murmur to him, "It's okay Lex. It's okay"
After his wrists are cleaned and bandaged, I move in next to him, pulling him under my arm, picking him up bridal style carrying him to the bed.
We can clean up tomorrow. Right now, we sleep.