Song: Impossible by James Arthur
***
I folded my arms around myself, squeezing my eyes shut. My feet moved of their own accord, and before I knew what had happened, I was back inside my room. Samuel was still beside me, guiding me to sit on my bed. I did so without hesitation, barely resisting the urge to lie back and disappear into the blankets.
Samuel held out the bottle of water to me. "Here."
I took it without a word, staring at his feet. When they didn't retreat, I lifted my gaze up to his face. I expected to find anger lying in wait, but what I saw was a mask. There was no emotion in Samuel's features. He was completely shut off.
"What were you doing down there?" Samuel eventually asked me in a monotone voice.
"I don't know."
"You could have asked someone to bring you water. Or used one of those." He gestured to the pile of water bottles and uneaten food next to my bed.
"I know."
"You shouldn't be alone. It's not safe."
I paused, then responded in a faint voice. I expected my tone to come out as harsh or hostile, but it was lifeless. "I thought the pack liked me, now. After what you said."
Samuel stiffened. "What did I say?"
My gaze traveled back up to meet his. When I looked into his eyes, he knew my answer. He didn't have to guess at what I was talking about. The mask cracked for a moment, and every thought he had was written plainly on his face.
"Oh," he sighed, cursing under his breath. "That."
"Were you going to tell me? Or were you just going to wait until the full moon and then bite me?"
"Samantha, I-"
"I guess it would be easier to wait," I cut him off, my voice still faint. "I wouldn't try to fight you or run that way. You could catch me off guard."
Samuel shifted his weight. "Let me explain."
I shrugged. "Then again, if you didn't wait then the whole pack could see that you finally have me. I couldn't run that way, either. I'd be forced to stay here until my shift was complete, or else I would probably die." If possible, my voice quieted further. "I don't think you want me to die."
My throat went tight, and my voice cut off. Samuel took that moment to close the distance between us. He knelt in front of me, grabbing my face between his two hands.
"Stop. Just stop."
He stared at me with a trembling expression. My own dead eyes caught all the emotion swirling in his. He wasn't angry with me; his eyes weren't threatening to turn colors. But there was an emotion just as strong as anger bubbling up to the surface and threatening to explode.
"What did Bray say to you?"
I shrugged and tried to pull my face away. My hands weakly tugged at his own.
"Samantha," Samuel took my attention back with a forceful tone. "What did he say?"
Tears were forming in my eyes, now. I didn't know how it was possible. After the past few days, I shouldn't have any tears left. But, they were brimming, nonetheless. At this point, I didn't have the strength to fight them. They blurred and distorted my vision with every blink. I almost wished the water wouldn't stop flowing, and would simply drown me.
My hands stopped fighting. They rested on Samuel's and now we were both cradling my face. His thumb traced small circles along my cheeks. I stared into his deep blue eyes, tormented with things unsaid, sure that my own reflected the same expression.
"Is it true?"
My question caught us both by surprise. A moment of silence passed. Then, Samuel broke eye contact. He shifted his gaze to the floor and his hands dropped from my face. My head fell to my chest, and in the next moment, Samuel was walking to my door. I watched his retreating footsteps, my world crumbling around me.
Never had I felt so betrayed. Never had I felt my heart so viciously ripped in two. But then, I should have expected it. I should have known this was what would happen. In the end, I was nothing more than a weak and helpless human. I had done nothing to prove otherwise. Samuel had even told me, countless times, that I would not be human for long. And on top of that, I drove him away. I pushed and pushed at Samuel until he had finally cracked. It was only natural that he would change me into something he could love. It was only to be expected.
I couldn't find it in me to be angry. I knew that was the normal reaction I would have at a moment like this, but in the end, I was too broken to care. Bray's words were still ringing in my mind, and each step that Samuel took away from me only solidified that belief.
Then, his footsteps stopped. His hand hovered over the doorknob. I glanced up just in time to see the resolve pass along Samuel's features before he turned and crossed the room, back to me. He took me by the hand and raised me off the bed. I stumbled behind him, and when I did, Samuel lifted me into his arms.
He carried me out of the room like that, swept up in his embrace. We traveled deeper into the hallways. We passed Will's room without a second glance and descended a flight of stairs that I never knew existed. The doors turned from wood to metal. The regular rooms were long behind us, now replaced with an entire hallway of reinforced shifting rooms. It was darker down here. Unlived in. Abandoned.
Samuel stopped outside a particularly sturdy door. It was thicker than the rest with a large bar across the front. My blood ran cold as I stared at it. Samuel hesitated, and I could feel his heartbeat quicken with my own. His grip grew tighter, now holding me hostage rather than in an embrace. His muscles tensed and the mood shifted. Then, suddenly, I knew.
This was where I would be deposited after Samuel bit me. This was where I would hope to die.
This was happening now.
Samuel opened the door. I began to struggle in his arms, the last bit of my fight resurfacing. I craned my neck to look into the room I was sure to meet my death, but Samuel walked backward through the door, limiting my vision to anything but his chest. I struggled harder at this point and began pushing against his shoulders with any strength I could muster. My legs flailed, and I managed to land a solid kick to his shoulder. Samuel grunted, and the next thing I knew, I was falling.
What I thought would be several feet was only a few inches. I landed on something soft, and when I looked down, I saw it to be a thickly woven rug. Samuel backed away and I saw that the rug covered the entire room. Apart from it, there was nothing else. A light bulb hung above, but there was no furniture. Not a chair, not a bed, not even a blanket.
Samuel shut the door. I was engulfed in darkness. He began to walk back to me, but I scurried away until my back hit the wall. Then, the room was illuminated, once more. Samuel stood in the center, holding a string connected to the lightbulb.
My heart was pounding out of my chest. "Leave me alone!"
He ran a hand down his face, pulling at the skin. "Stop being dramatic."
"Just stay away from me!"
Samuel let go of the string and raised his hands toward me. "I'm not moving."
I faltered, not expecting his answer. "Good," I eventually choked.
My eyes searched the room for something to defend myself with. There was nothing. Nothing except the layer of dust we were both disturbing. Samuel noticed my search. He looked as if he wanted to roll his eyes, but after regarding my trembling frame, he thought better. Instead, he drooped his head and put on another expressionless mask.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Samantha."
I glared up at him. "Like hell, you aren't. Stay away from me."
He raised both of his arms, palms facing me. "I'm not going to bite you."
My chest heaved with my quickened breathing. Adrenaline was coursing through my veins, breathing back what little life I had left. Samuel took the moment of silence to lower his hands and sit on the ground. He was still several feet away from me, but with him sitting on my level, my fear lessened slightly.
"I'm not going to bite you," he repeated. "I'm not going to force you to shift."
"Maybe not right now, you're not."
He tried catching my gaze. "Not now, not ever."
"You-what?"
Samuel spoke slower. "I'm not ever going to bite you."
I searched his face for deception, my heart still hammering in my chest. "Then why would you bring me here?"
"It's the most soundproof room in the house."
"So, people won't hear me scream when you finally kill me?" My voice was strained and weak.
Samuel bent his head. "I don't want you dead, Samantha. You were right about that."
Desperate tears were streaming down my cheeks, again. "I don't understand," I mumbled. "I don't understand what's going on. Bray said-" I cut myself off.
He narrowed his eyes. "What did he say?"
I took a shaky breath, filtering through my conversation with Bray. "He told me your plan. What you told the pack. He told me you're going to make me shift at the next full moon." My sentence broke off with a sob I hadn't realized was still lingering.
Samuel flinched forward, arms outstretched. Then, he shook his head and retreated into himself. "It's true. I did tell them that."
My sob died off, replaced again by the aching emptiness of a betrayed heart. The knowledge of its imminence didn't diminish the hurt, and as I stared back at Samuel, I knew the truth. This was only him trying to offer consolation before he turned me. This was only his good-natured self, trying to give me a respite before the storm.
"I didn't mean it."
I paused, my breath hitching in my throat. "What?"
"I didn't mean what I told them. It was a lie."
"But," I trailed off. "Why?"
"It was a cover. Something to buy time. I had to tell them something. They needed information and reassurance. After everyone figured out about Riley, they needed it. So, I told them I called the chiefs in. I told them I would be their Alpha and you would be at my side, as one of them." He paused and leaned forward, a silent plea forming on his face, begging me to believe his words. "I didn't mean any of it."
I spoke between heavy breaths. "I-I don't understand."
Samuel shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. "You weren't even supposed to know about this. I didn't want to upset you again. Not after everything that happened."
"When?"
His gaze shot back up to me. "What?"
"When? When did you tell them, it was going to happen?"
Samuel massaged his neck. "Two days. The night of Riley's funeral."
My heart sunk. "And what's going to happen when they realize I'm still human?"
"They won't."
"What do you mean, they won't? That's a little hard to hide!" My voice rose in pitch. Hysteria was creeping in, and my mind refused to believe what Samuel was telling me. It was all some elaborate plan. It had to be.
"You'll be gone by then."
There was a moment of silence. A storm of emotions was blazing through me. My voice was no longer faint but creeping higher with every syllable. My entire being was stretched thin, and any wrong move could snap me in half.
Finally, I sighed, fighting for composure. "Stop lying to me. It's not doing me any favors."
Samuel clenched his fists. "I'm not lying to you, Samantha. You're not going to turn. You and your brother will be gone before anyone realizes you're still human."
I stalled. "What do you mean, gone?"
"Gone as in as far away from this place as possible."
A spark of hope flickered into my chest. It was intoxicating. It was the first breath of air after staying underwater for far too long. It was laying down to sleep after spending days running through the woods. It was staring into Samuel's eyes, knowing he was telling the truth.
"You-you're letting us go?"
Something flashed in Samuel's eyes. Before I could catch it, he turned his head. "Yes. The funeral will happen, you will run, and the chiefs will be here shortly after. I'll tell them and the pack you didn't survive the initial bite, or you ran away, or something. It doesn't matter. No one knows that Will survived. It will be easy for you both to go."
I exhaled a long breath. The world slowed until all activity ceased, waiting for my response. "Why? Why would you do this, after all this time?"
Samuel picked at the woven rug, pulling up stray pieces of string as he responded. "You weren't ever supposed to get hurt. No one was. This will stop that from happening again." He dragged his gaze back up to me. "All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, Samantha. I thought that if you had your family, if you could just see that I-" He broke off, shaking his head. "If you could just see that this wasn't so bad, you could love it."
He wanted to say more. His mouth hung open, lingering on his last two words. A moment passed, and his chest deflated. "I understand now that you can't be happy here."
Again, there was silence. Just like before. Samuel had a way of saying things that caused my heart to leap and break all in the same action, and when he was finished speaking and mulling over the conversation, I was left to catch up.
I folded my arms around my body, clinging to what little reality I had left. "What about you?"
He shrugged. "What about me?"
"What's going to happen to you when they realize we're gone? What about Bray? The humans? James?"
Samuel took a deep breath. "I'm pretty certain James is only after you or your mother. Once he thinks you're dead or gone, he'll give up. We haven't caught a whiff of the humans since the other night. I don't think they're the problem."
"And Bray?"
He smirked. It was sudden and in complete contrast to all other emotion, he'd let slip through his mask. "I can handle Bray."
An unbelieving laugh, mixed with heightening hysteria, escaped me. Samuel's smirk widened into an actual smile. We caught each other's eyes for a moment, before he broke away.
"You shouldn't worry about that anymore, anyway. You'll be safe as soon as you're gone."
My heart fluttered. Safe. It wasn't something I thought I could ever achieve. At least, not here. Not ever again. But now, Samuel was giving me the opportunity to have that distant dream become a tangible reality.
I bit my lip, closing my eyes. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me," Samuel's tone darkened. "This isn't something you should be thanking me for."
"But, I am. I know you could force me to stay here and shift, but you're not."
He shrugged. "This is just what you deserve."
Water stung my eyes. I shook my head, mostly to myself. Samuel was about to comment, but I quickly cut him off and blurted out my next words.
"I'm sorry."
He raised his eyebrows. "For what?"
"Don't act dumb," I snapped. My emotions were everywhere. I was still reeling from what Samuel had just revealed to me. That, combined with the recent trauma concerning my family, caused my heart to go into overdrive. I was acting erratic, speaking before I knew what I was going to say, and digging myself a hole deeper than I ever thought possible. But, there was no stopping it. There was no control. And for once, I let it continue.
"I'm sorry for what I said the other night."
Understanding washed over Samuel's features. He stared at me for a moment as I tried to hide the fact that I was shaking. I had avoided speaking of this, or even thinking about it, because every time I did, I lost it. I still couldn't bring myself to believe that my mother was dead, and because of that, I couldn't bring myself to believe I'd accused Samuel of it being his fault. I knew that I lashed out in my grief. I knew that he was the closest person I could hurt. But, that knowledge didn't stop me from doing it.
Samuel stiffened. "You don't have to apologize for your feelings."
My voice came out small. "I didn't mean it."
It was Samuel's turn to fight the truth. "Riley's not here," he sighed. "You don't have to lie."
"I'm not lying."
My body was noticeably shaking, now. There was no more hiding. Samuel fought against himself for several moments before he stood up and walked closer to me. He paused a few steps away, gauging my reaction. Had this been any other day, I would have pushed him away. If I had any inkling of control left, I would have withdrawn further into myself and fought Samuel's comfort. But tonight, Samuel had revealed he was letting me go. Tonight, I was too broken and confused to know what I wanted. Tonight, I let him in.
Samuel sat down next to me. His face was contorted into an expression that could be mistaken for agony, but I knew it to be uncertainty. He held out his arm, just above my knee, waiting for me to flinch away. When I didn't, he almost withdrew, himself. Then, a stray tear slipped from my cheek and his arms were around me.
My head buried into his shoulder and my knees fell onto his legs. Samuel gripped the back of my head with one hand, the other resting on my leg. He covered his face with my hair and each time he breathed, the air traveled down my neck in chills.
"It wasn't right," I choked on my words, fighting to find the right ones. "It wasn't your fault. You-you didn't know-"
"It's okay," Samuel whispered into my hair. "It's going to be okay."
"But I should have never- I mean, nobody deserves-"
Samuel hushed me, sending another warm breath down my neck. Each time I tried to speak after that, he would quiet my apologies and hold me tighter. After a while, I stopped fighting that, too. I grew limp in his arms, my breathing becoming heavier with every passing second. Samuel followed suit, and soon I couldn't bring myself to draw away from him. For that moment, he was my rock; the one thing holding me to the earth, when all I wanted to do was sink beneath its surface.
***
Literally how I feel right now.
Y'alls turn. What do you think about what Samuel said? Samantha's reaction? Theories on what will happen?
Thank you all for the amazing support <3
Mquistey