AJ Lee's POV
One Week Later
Why? I could have had so many other problems. I could have been too tall, I could have had huge feet, I could have had two different color eyes. Why was I given this problem?
These thoughts crossed my mind as I laid curled up in the sheets of CM Punk's bed. It was mid day and Punk was out running, so I was in the house alone. He'd warned me that if I wasn't out of bed by the time he got home, he'd personally take care of my stubborn attitude. Guess I was in for it when he got home.
It wasn't as if I didn't want to get out of bed. I just... couldn't. My heart was aching with ever passing day and I felt as if I was slowly falling into a depression again. I didn't want to be in another one.
Not like last time.
I thought of my divas title. I'd been thinking of that a lot lately. But mainly, I worried. What if I could never go back? What if Stephanie didn't let me return to get back at me and my sharp tongue? What if Punk got sick of me and threw me out on the streets, with no job to get by?
I covered my head with one of the pillows that was lazily tossed on the bed. I just wanted to go back to sleep, to try to dream of a world where Punk and I could run out into the streets and just be ourselves as drops of rain fell down, a world where he didn't have to worry about me always being happy and mentally ok.
As I pulled the pillow away from my head and embraced it against my chest, I heard the faint unlocking of the front door. I didn't feel like climbing out of the mountains of covers I was tangled up in, so I simply waited for him to find me. Within seconds, he did.
Punk saw me and sighed. I buried my face in my pillow. I soon felt the bed shift and his fingers stroked my hair. "You gonna get out of bed?"
I let out a deep breathe. "I don't want to." My words were barely above a whisper. Then his voice filled the empty space again.
"AJ, are you ok?" Punk asked. "Is something wrong?"
"I don't know," I replied. "I really don't know. I feel like..." I didn't want to finish my sentence, ashamed of what he might think. Punk just continued at his attempts to comfort me, eventually moving his hands to my back and rubbing delicate circles.
"I've never been good at stuff like this," he said. "Comforting people, trying to cheer them up-"
"Don't worry about me," I stated. "Please, don't think I'm some high priority. I've-" my lie caught in my throat, but it slipped out anyway, "I've managed before."
Punk gently grabbed my shoulder, turning me on my back and forcing me to look at him. "Tell me what's wrong so I can try to help. I really don't want you in a downer mood while you live with me because that's no fun for either of us."
Not willing to fight resistance anymore, I propped my body up with my elbows. "I feel like I'm falling into a depression. A bad one."
"How long have you been assuming that?"
"A few days."
"How do you know?"
I've had one before. "Just feels weird, you know."
His fingers ran over his facial features until they gripped his hair. "Well, I really don't need you in a depression."
"I really don't need me in one either," I replied. He smirked.
"I'm gonna help you. We're gonna figure out a way to get this disorder under control that way you don't have to be worrying about stuff like this all the time."
I rolled my eyes. "No, therapy doesn't work for me-"
"Oh, I'm not taking you to therapy," Punk said. I have him a confused look. "I'm all the therapy you need."
"You?" I asked. "You're going to find a way to keep a Bipolar person completely under control with their emotions?" I grabbed the covers and pulled them over my head. "Yeah, good luck with that."
The covers were peeled away from my body seconds later. "Fine, we'll do this the hard way." Punk snaked one of his arms under my legs and wrapped the other around my midsection. He hoisted me up so now I was being carried bridal style in his arms.
"Hey!" I exclaimed without much enthusiasm. I slapped his chest in an attempt to get him to release me, to no avail. Punk just smiled and started to walk out of the room and towards the couch. Once there, he dropped me down on the cushions and sat down next to me.
"Trust me, I've done this with myself all the time. I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't have much self control in the ring," he said.
"You've got more than me," I stated.
"So, let's try to get started since I kind of want fast results," Punk said. "First things first, lets try to control your anger. Close your eyes and think of someone you love. Person, dog, I really don't care."
I did as I was told and shut my eyes. Without much thought, the first thing to appear in my head was CM Punk. Him just standing there in a jacket and jeans, arms crossed and a lazy smirk smeared on his face. And then myself, running towards him and jumping into his arms. I was trapped in his protective embrace and all that surrounded us was sparkling city lights, just like a few weeks ago. Everything was perfect in my little mind picture.
"Ok, I've got it," I said, sighing in bliss.
"Now, think of someone you hate," Punk said. A glowing picture of one of the Total Divas came into my mind. Eva Marie I assume.
"Ok."
"And imagine your hated person walking over to your loved one and taking them away," he said. I did.
Eva Marie walked over to the two of us and ripped me away from Punk's grip. She grabbed his face and forced her lips roughly against his. And he... he delightfully returned the kiss. I felt my fists tighten and then I heard his voice again. "Now don't do anything. Keep imagining the scene but don't do anything."
It was hard. I knew it was only a figment of my imagination, but it felt so... real. In my head her hands kept roaming his body with so sign of stopping and Punk just fell deeper and deeper into her trance. I wanted to scream and cut the image out of my head completely, but I allowed it to stay.
"Can I please stop?!" I asked a bit too loudly. My breathing started to heavy.
"No, keep going AJ, just calm yourself down," he said.
I tried. I let my muscles relax and my physical panic calmed down, but I still wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. My mind picture just continued to get more vivid with every passing second.
"I want to scream," I barely whispered out. Punk still heard it, somehow.
"Just remember that whatever's in your head, you've gotten through worse," he said. I let his words seep into my thoughts. He was right. I'd gotten through depression, I'd gotten through heartbreak, I'd gotten through every challenge thrown my way. I wandered back to the image. It wasn't as painful anymore to see the man I loved so much practically devour the girl I despised.
I felt my facial expressions soften and suddenly, I didn't want to break down as badly.
"Ok, you can open your eyes now," Punk said. I let my eyelids flutter open and I saw his handsome face once again. I let a weak smile slide onto my lips. "Not bad, butterfly."
My smile opened up more at the nickname. "Thanks... I guess."
"We still have a ton of work to do. I'm also not guaranteeing that this'll magically cure you of all emotional spinouts, but I'm hoping it'll help," he said, standing up.
"Yeah, and then maybe Stephanie'll let me come back," I said. Punk spun around and looked at me.
"You're still gonna go back?" he said. I sighed.
"I have to," I replied. "My whole life's there with that company. I can't-"
"AJ, I'm not gonna stop you," Punk said. "I just don't want you to get hurt."
I stood up and walked over to him. "Well, you're helping me get better. In a month or two maybe I'll have improved enough to go get my title back."
I saw a smile break out on his face. "Well than, here's some key advice. The image of that loved one you thought of?" He asked. I nodded.
"That memory is so crazy important. You've always-" Punk looked deep into my eyes and let his gaze dark around my face until they returned to their original resting point. "You've always got to remember them in the back of your head. You can't ever forget what- or who you're fighting for."
Punk walked into the kitchen and I was left standing alone.
A/N: I am so so so so crazy sorry it took me so long to update!!! I've been really super busy and I've had absolutely no time.
And then we have this whole issue with the Shield that's been screwing with my head for a month. God, I miss my boys. :(
On the bright side, she's back on Raw! AJ, in her rightful place on her thrown. I still love Paige though, but AJ is my Queen.
So, I guess that's all. I'll try to update soon!
- El ❤️