Chapter Seventeen
Taehyung sits awake on his mattress. Aching, eye black and bruised. He blinks back tears, cradles his knees to his chest. Chin rests, he thinks about last night. In a way, it's a continuation of a day. Tossing and turning the entire night, Taehyung's eyes are red for different reasons outside of being high and drunk. Sober now. He swears under his breath, wipes his leaking eyes into his palms then winces. His face stings.
Hours ago, Taehyung shifted up from his bent position and looked over to his friend Khalil holding your wrist. When seeing you, displayed to shame, he remembered wanting to throw up again. Nothing left to dispose of, Taehyung swallowed the remaining chunks of disgusting after-vomit that slapped on his tongue.
He blinked. His world was spinning and upset. He couldn't focus on the voices that echoed around him, wanting to sink into Yoongi's neck and have the older man take care of him. But there was a massive part of him that knew not to fall asleep. There was trouble spewing and he felt it in every numb feeling he had left.
When an angry, "If he can move on with whoever he likes, I can do the same!" left your mouth, Taehyung looked at your lips. They were quivering, and tears were about to glue on them. He blinked and blinked, looked over to Oki who tensed. His best friend's hands moved off the girl he was with this night, his eyes formed in a similar anger when staring at his ex-girlfriend. Then Oki looked to Taehyung.
Hand on his stomach, back still hunched with an arm around Yoongi for support—Taehyung saw what was coming but didn't deem fit enough to dodge it. Oki swung. He hit with his dry knuckles just above Taehyung's left cheekbone. His head flung back. His knees gave out. Yoongi wrapped his entire body around support so Taehyung's bent knees would stay up.
All hope failed.
"HOW THE FUCK?" Whether that was a growl or whine, the boy bleeding at his cheek couldn't tell. Taehyung moved up with the help of Yoongi but was tossed down again when another hard fist met his mouth. His bottom lip curved in, your jaw locked. Blood rose from the cut he gave himself, along with the easy sprouting when Oki's knuckles now became moist from Taehyung's blood.
"OKI!" Khalil yelled. Or was it someone else? Taehyung didn't know. His ears rung, his eyes wished to roll back. Yoongi failed to keep him up as knees bashed into the pavement.
Yoongi flung to the side, the angered man held all power. His fists flew, his body hurled. Taehyung slapped the ground, his shoulder blades sounding as if a mirror shattered. Moaning in pain, when Taehyung tried to open his eyes, another fist cracked to the side of his face. His head whipped, blood from his mouth having his tongue whine in disgust.
Straddled. Oki's knees were probably bruised just as much as his hands. Taehyung's ears rung. He heard a pitched scream. A scream of a girl. He didn't know why he imagined it was you that worried rather than the stranger that was to sleep with Oki if things worked out differently this night.
"H-How co-co—" Oki couldn't finish. He was a crying drunk with bloody fists when friends pulled him off a groaning Taehyung. "Why the fuck would you do this?" Taehyung thought he heard that through the pitches his mind wandered in.
There was a shout from Jin, a curse from Yoongi, and then a soft hand that suddenly met his cold cheek. Taehyung recognised the touch. It was the same you did when he kissed you, holding on and begging to be near. This time, in a different context. With a slow smile, he didn't know he was pulling, the darkness that knocked Taehyung out cold took force.
Clank! Cry! Taehyung jumps on his bed this morning. Upper lip shaking when hurting his entire back from the sudden startle, the boy lets his swollen eyes glance towards the rat-trap he has near his saxophone case. Staring at the mouse that squirms in the trap, there is a dark moment when nothing, but the struggle is seen. Taehyung doesn't move yet to go help the mouse. Not yet.
Thump! Thud! Another jump. Blinking and cursing over the rush of jolts that stream across his puffy cheek, Taehyung doesn't care to look in the mirror and see his state. He knows who awaits him, sighing, he says, "Jin, I'm seriously fine."
"You asked to come home and sleep when we went to the hospital for a check-up," Jin scolds from the outside. His voice is gentle even though his initial knock was not. "I'm finding it hard to believe that you might be following the doctor's strict orders. You're stressing out, I can feel it from here."
Taehyung doesn't say anything. He looks away from the squeaking mouse, stands to his feet and tumbles back for a seat. He cannot stand. His head spins. With a moan, its as if Jin knows what to do. Peeking his head in, the older friend walks over to the trap, picks it up without hesitation and crinkles his nose when leveling eye-to-eye with the rodent.
"I'll set you free outside you ugly ass," Jin mumbles, laughing and trying to ease the mouse that continues to squeak in fear.
With soft eyes, Taehyung hugs himself again. Jin leaves the room. The door is left open and Taehyung allows himself to glance across the hallway to Oki's bedroom door. He knows Oki isn't home. Why would he come after everything? But a distant part wishes Oki was, so Taehyung could speak to him. Not knowing what he'd say, Taehyung knew he wanted to say something...anything. He didn't want to lose another friend.
Moments later, Jin is back in Taehyung's room and the injured boy sighs exaggerated. With a cocked brow, Jin says, "Don't be showing me attitude in attempts to push me away. I get it, you're brooding and contemplating living right now yadda-yadda, but there's more to life than just social drama. You'll be bigger than this one day. Better."
Taehyung looks away. His chin is back on knees.
Jin sighs sits down to the edge of the bed and stares at Taehyung until the boy gets awkward enough to stare back.
"What?" Taehyung barks.
"What's on your mind?"
"What do you think?" Taehyung barks again.
"Ease up."
"I am."
"Good."
Silence strolls in before Jin sighs and whispers, "Yoongi and Hoseok send their respects."
"I like that they're not here. That's how it should be."
"So why? You can torment yourself with your thoughts alone?" Jin asks.
Taehyung doesn't say anything.
Jin licks his bottom lip, nods over the entire room when looking around. He took care of Taehyung the entire night and didn't care to leave for classes this morning. Even with the constant breaks, Jin stayed behind. It was progress that he was now in the bedroom instead of outside by Taehyung's closed door.
"I know it feels like the end of the world."
"What do you know?" Taehyung whispers. He's getting tired of being rude. His body giving out.
"A lot. You all make fun of my age, but I'm still growing and learning from mistakes." Jin purses his lips when he hesitantly grabs Taehyung's shoulder. Taehyung lets the touch happen. Jin smiles. "I may not understand what you're feeling exactly, but I get the overall atmosphere of despair."
"I'm a horrible friend."
"You were drunk and high."
Taehyung sighs, shaking his head, "That's not an excuse."
Jin nods. "It isn't," he says, "But it is a fact to consider when beating yourself up about it." Taehyung glares when Jin purses his lips from smiling. "Not funny," the beaten boy mumbles. Jin laughs, holds his fingers out to pinch and says, "It was a little. Come on. Laugh a little."
"I kissed her. I fuckin' kissed her." Taehyung swears. That's when Jin knows the boy's upset.
"You did more than that," Jin says, hand moving to his lap, "But you were drunk and high."
"That is not an excuse," Taehyung repeats.
"A circumstance that shouldn't be overlooked."
"I'm a terrible friend."
"No, you aren't." Jin shakes his head while saying this.
"I've been a fucker of a friend to Jungkook—Jimin won't look at me because I've been treating him like shit," Taehyung talks as if his throat clogs, broken eyes starting to water. "Unrelated—but my own brother I can't even talk to for more than a minute—and now Oki. I ruined everything with Oki. I keep fuckin' up and over and over. I keep thinking about ways to end the pain that aren't healthy. I can't go on hard drugs again. I can't after last time, I ca-ca—" Taehyung cries. He shakes and shudders.
With a sigh, Jin moves forward and takes the boy into his arms. He holds him and lets Taehyung cry into his outfit from earlier. Medicine from the cuts on Taehyung's face seeps with dry blood and tears, all on Jin's shirt.
Jin doesn't say anything reassuring. All he does is hold Taehyung, allow him to cry, and listen to every wail that leaves the boy. This happens for almost fifteen minutes before Taehyung is dried out, snot-filled, and too puffy-eyed that pupils are no longer seen. Jin orders for the boy to lay and find some rest. Giving him more medicine for a headache that newly issues. He waits in the room and watches Taehyung sleep.
Taehyung does sleep. Jin purses his lips.
Getting up from the side of the bed, the older friend sets the rat-trap back in its place. He makes sure to put a little peanut butter or cheese, not wanting the rats to mistake spotting Taehyung's dry blood out of curiousity. It didn't help that the beaten boy's eyes look like over-sized prunes.
When Jin exits, he closes the bedroom door and sits in the hallway again. He leans his head against the wall behind him and waits for Taehyung to need him.
Hours go by, Jin falls in and out of sleep. He jolts awake when a form rudely steps over him, knocking his knee to the side. Straightening his back in a lean, Jin looks up to see Oki rubbing his head and cursing. The man glares over. "Oki, lis—" before Jin can finish, the boy says, "If you're about to defend any bullshit, save it." Oki locks himself in his room.
Rocking his head in disappointment, Jin says, "He's okay by the way..." From the stopping of steps in Oki's room, it's clear the boy froze to listen. Jin only imagined two things: relief or anger.
Another hour, more shuffling and this time from both rooms. Taehyung's feet drag louder and harder than Oki's. He's groaning when he wakes, calling for Jin, knowing the older friend is here. Jin gets up, opens the door and pushes his head in. As he talks, Taehyung starts to ask for medicine only to stop when spotting Oki leave his room changed, showered, and exiting.
"Oki! Oki, wait—" Taehyung coughs. "Oki!" He gets up, stumbles. His head spins. "Oki—" Taehyung flinches away from Jin that urges for him to sit. The boy doesn't listen, he chases after his best friend.
With a hard blow to the older friend's chest, Jin slaps into the hallway and freezes. Closes his eyes and controls his anger. Jin understands Taehyung's delicate state and tells himself not to be offended or hurt by the push. Swallowing pride, the man follows the injured boy to the apartment's door. He watches last when Taehyung pulls Oki's shoulder back. The angered boy flinches away.
"Don't touch me Tae." There's a slight softness there.
"Can we please talk?" Taehyung's voice cracks. He's in pain and fails to hide it.
"About what? There's nothing to talk about."
"Oki, please."
"Don't chase after me, I don't wanna do something that'll only hurt you more." With that, he glances at the wounds he's already given Taehyung's close-to-unrecognizable-face. Oki leaves.
Taehyung moves his hands down to his side. One hugs his stomach and he keeps it there. His back in pain. Closing the door, Taehyung finds Jin again.
The older friend stands with a glass of water and medication laid on his palm.
[18 hours later]
"You not going back to the apartment?" Khalil asks worriedly. He stares at his friend that downs drinks. Cutting Oki off before he could get tipsy, the friend reminds him that he drove here. Oki nods accepts his stupid actions and pretends to obey Khalil's leaving orders. "Promise me you won't drink anymore...you've got class early in the morning. Get home and rest."
"Yeah."
"I don't believe you'll actually listen to me." Khalil hops off his bar stool, pays his part and nods at the bartender. With a pat to Oki's shoulder, the boy whispers, "Don't step boundaries."
Oki smirks but it doesn't reach any of his other harsh features. His world has been spinning the entire day. Drinking, cursing, growing angry. Thinking about you and all the times he'd kiss you, only to want to vomit when thinking of his best friend holding you in such a way instead. There was a lot in his mind that didn't make sense. Many emotions that didn't sit right.
"Do you want a girl tonight?" Khalil asks stupidly, not knowing how to make things better for Oki's upset state. A reoccurrence. Whenever Oki or any of the friends were upset, throwing girls and one-night-stands into each others' lives instead of talking about their feelings is what they did.
Oki sucks a drink, holding it at the back of his throat. He swallows, shakes his head and whispers, "I'm not close to being horny. Don't think I've had a good hard for a while. Not with everything I've done...I've lost her. I already knew that but last night just fucking—" His nose crinkles, he chugs down the rest of his glass.
Oki doesn't ask for a refill. Not yet.
Khalil is tricked and smiles when Oki refrains from having another. "Like I said that one morning in class! You've got many girls lined up for you," he slaps Oki's shoulder and starts to walk backward, "If you want some next level serious relationship again, then just go for it. You don't need your ex."
The boy forces a smile when Khalil leaves him. "Right." That's what none of you get. In any relationship, I'll only fuck it up. I'm fucked up.
"Right!" Khalil laughs, waves and moves past the crowd that starts to cluster in for the night.
It's about to turn midnight. The parties beginning in a new dine-in-club that holsters close to campus. Oki never comes here much. The place a target for the gay community. His fish don't swim here for him to catch, so Oki never bothers. But right now, he doesn't give two fucks who is around him or not.
The bartender comes by when Khalil is out of sight. With a nod, Oki waves his glass and gets more to drink in no time. He's groggy and hurt as he chugs. His mind flashing images of you.
First, the moment he met you. You blushed and held textbooks to your chest. Second, his mind flashed to you on the hood underneath Taehyung. First, the first time he kissed you and how you smiled near the end of it against his mouth. Second, you moan underneath Taehyung, orange two-piece riding up. First, when he cuddled your back and kissed your forehead. Oki used to watch you sleep a lot, a large smile on his face when you'd twitch awake. Second, you smile against Taehyung's lips. First Second First Second. Flashes. Oki's glass hit the counter too hard when it empties.
Another drink.
Another drink.
A different drink.
Another of the different drink.
Then a terrible burp.
Oki glances over to a laugh that erupts beside him. Not realizing more people joining the bar, his hazy eyes don't care to check for a time. He stares at the hearty laugh, then hears the girl gasp when she sees him. His brows furrow. He doesn't recognise her.
"Oki? Holy shit!" She starts to laugh again. "Never took you for the disgusting drunk that lingers around the hot-spots for gays!" The girl cocks her head, bats her lashes, and makes a fool out of him. The fact that she ruffles his hair doesn't help his state. Oki flinches back.
"Wh—" He stops. His brows are normal, one darts up. He blinks then blinks again and whispers in shock. "Wow! H-Hey—I—" He shakes his head and opens his eyes to blink. He wants to make sure it's clear who he sees.
"I'm certain I'm an easy one on the eyes, but you're making it seem like I'm not," she giggles, "Cut it out." Then her teeth are out, her lips are full and her body naturally breaths seduction. She lingers in and her breasts touch Oki's sleeve.
He looks down at her chest, then back to her eyes. Shifting away, he looks forward and looks at the bartender for another drink.
"Ooh. Big boy?" She taunts, "I see it isn't as easy to crack you now huh?"
"Just not in the mood, that's all."
"I heard you cheated on your girlfriend."
Oki's jaw visibly clenches. The girl sighs, shaking her head. "I heard you were mad in love with her too? What happened?" She asks this genuinely. No games, no taunting. A question that Oki can't clearly answer.
"I was a shit person to her."
"Yes. Welcome to the club," she sighs exaggerated, "I'm the queen at fuckin' myself up and others in the process."
Oki doesn't speak to her.
The girl continues to pick at his ear with her words. She rambles on and on until the boy mumbles, "Leave me alone."
"If you wanted me gone you would've been walking away the minute I came in. Knowing of my history in your little circle of friends...that is..." the girl chuckles, "It's a shock you're still here."
"I don't want to leave my seat."
"Sure, that's the reason." Her chest is back to his arm. Oki doesn't move away this time.
"How's your best friend?"
Oki's nibbles his inner cheek. "What best friend?"
The girl snorts. A large smirk pulls on her face. "A little rain and thunder in the perfect town?" she asks. Oki tenses and she gets her answer. With a laugh, she goes, "Never thought I'd see the two of you fighting."
"What do you want?" Oki barks, snapping his head to hers. It's only then when he guides his forehead back slight. She's too close.
The girl's hand flicks imaginary dust at Oki's shoulder. She touches it, then his back. Leaning over and flirting successful with her eyes, she shakes her head. "Nothing important," she whispers, staring at lips before her. When Oki caves and looks down at her lips, she laughs in his face and pulls away. Making a fool out of him—again.
[3 hours later]
Oki's lips devour hers when falling on to a large mattress. There is enough room on her bed for five, Oki's shirtless body now strapped under a straddle. Her naked body pounces on him with a little moan. His hard rubs against her stomach, her tongue digs deep into his mouth. It doesn't take long for the drunk boy to flip her over and make the bed shake, his body following the same shudders when releasing inside her twelve minutes later.
Ella breathes fast when Oki falls limply onto her. She smiles and pats his muscular back.
Oki rolls off her. He breathes hard, his hands go to his face.
"Fuck," he curses, about to explode in overwhelming fears of shame. He thinks of Taehyung, he thinks of you. Then he thinks of his anger that pulled the biggest mistake of his life.
[1 hour later]
"Jimin! Jimin Jimin Jimin!" Jungkook is out of breath when he runs into the boy's dorm. Jimin's roommate gives eyes before disappearing into the hallway, headed for the lounge to study away from Jungkook's drunken noises.
With a slight laugh, Jimin holds his friend's arms so he won't fall. Kind eyes, smile sweet, Jimin asks, "What? What? Careful there...don't fall. You'll hurt yourself if yo—"
"Jimin stop being adorably sweet for a second and stand straight like the Father that you are," Jungkook breathes out, holding back a coughing fit from running over. "I need you to listen."
With a nod, Jimin tries not to smile when forcing on a serious expression. He folds his hands at his chest, mumbles about 'making it quick, he's got to study' before whispering, "Shoot. Clocks ticking."
With wide-eyes, a gulping throat, and eyes that speak for panic, Jungkook blurts, "I was at my favourite club I ditch you for repeatedly—"
"The one with the cute guys you love to sleep around in the bathroom stalls?" Jimin asks, so serious that it was hilarious.
Jungkook waves his hand, "Yes yes, but my sex life isn't what I'm freaking out about right now!"
"What's wrong?" Jimin chuckles.
Jungkook blurts it. He blurts what he thinks he saw. "I saw Oki leave with Ella!"
The boy's smile falls along with his arms. The light in his eyes leave. Worried, sick, and feeling a bubbly pit of disgust, Jimin whispers, "What?"