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it's painful to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go, but it's more painful to ask someone to stay when you know they want to leave.
i walk into the room that once was ours. memories pander through my head when i saw her pack her things.
"baby, no. w-what are you doing?" i panicked. she turned around and that's when i saw the tears trapped inside her mesmerizing eyes.
"i'm leaving, ethan. and, don't call me that." she snapped. my heart immediately broke when i heard those hurtful things she spoke.
"but why? stay please." i begged. i didn't even realize that i was on my knees looking up at her beautiful face that i used to wake up to every morning.
"i've had enough. enough of everything, i'm starting over." she replied. i tried to convince her, but i was choked up.
she looked at me before zipping up her suitcase and running down the stairs. i chases after her, heart racing that wasn't a normal speed.
"baby, please don't. we'll work it out, I promise." i cried out to her but she didn't look back at me.
"please." i shouted. she slowly turned around, making one last look at me.
"goodbye ethan." she whispered. and with that, she closed the door.
i regret not going out to run after her. tell her that i needed her, that i am nothing without her. now i know, i am too late.
i shut my bedroom door and went down to the basement. the basement we used to watch movies in. i looked at our spot on the couch. my heart started to hurt and so i grabbed onto my chest in the same spot you would lay your head.
i touched the blanket we would use to cover up our bad habits and looked down at my hands that you use to hold.
then, i looked down at my phone and read the texts you used to send me saying all the things i needed to hear to make me feel better.
i started crying and tears went down the cheeks you used to kiss. and, I finally realized it's really over.
I really lost you. I lost you months ago and I never realized it until now.
i loved you and i still do.
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