***Amogha's P.O.V***
Is it cheating if I am reliving mine and Sid's kiss in my head whenever I see him? I feel guilty for that thought every damn time! I know I and Sid are married and we're husband-and-wife and that there's nothing wrong with sharing an amazing kiss with you husband but he doesn't like me!! I sighed again for the umpteenth time that day, as I shifted my concentration back to my work.
The last 3 weeks were very horrible! The kiss was.....heavenly! That's the closest word that I can use to describe the feeling after our kiss! It'd be an understatement to say that it wasn't hot! The kiss, both of the kisses actually, were freaking bliss!
But...Sid already loves another girl! Bloody bitch that girl is! Well, a lucky bitch to get someone as good as Sid to love her!
I don't know what Sid might have thought of me after that kiss! Even though he explicitly had stated that he was in love with a girl, I kissed him! My first freaking kiss too!!! Maybe he'd have initiated the kiss if I hadn't initiated it, but still!
Won't he think I'm some sort of a slut who's just changing guys? Here on one hand I claimed to be moving on from Adi, and then on the other hand I just kissed him, that too twice on the same day? And I acted all naughty after that kiss! Damn I've lost my mind!
"Amogha, please stop zoning out like this" Rishi clicked his tongue and brought me back to my senses. "Is everything alright?" Priya asked, smirking slightly.
How can I tell her that I screwed up badly? How can I tell her that I hurt Sid by kissing him and acting all naughty?
"Yeah..." I said, again immersing in my pool of thoughts. Is it cheating on Adi to like Sid?? I am still so effing confused! Damn Adi! He's complicated everything! I even told Priya that I regret Adi...Yes! I regret Adi!!
Fucker just left me all broken, cheated on me and now I'm feeling all guilty for having kissed Sid and maybe I'm even developing feelings for my husband?!
"Snap out of it m'lady" Priya said, mockingly.
"Huh?" I came out of my thoughts again.
"Is everything alright with you two? I can't help but notice how you are avoiding jiju. You told me already that you regret Adi, so I know it's not him. Is it Sid? Did he do anything to you?" Priya asked and there was something in her voice which suggested that she knew something....Could she know about the kiss? I've not told her and since Sid clearly regrets the kiss, he wouldn't have had told her or Rishi either! Then what is Priya suggesting? "Yeah everything is cool" I said, smiling a little and trying to concentrate on my work, but failing as Sid entered the room.
Usually, when Sid comes, I just bend my head in my work, plug in my headphones and act as if I'm immersed in my work. But I can't do that now because Priya is here and I don't want her to know that I've been avoiding Sid.
"Hey" Sid said, sitting on the chair in front of my table.
"Oops excuse me, I'm getting a call from Rishi" Priya said and excused herself out of the room with her phone clutched tightly into her hand.
Now this is awkward!
There was a very nasty silence as I tried hard to look lime I'm immersed in my work so that Sid wouldn't talk to me and just leave me, so that I can go back to dwelling on our hot kiss!!
"Hey Amogha, I was wondering, would you like to go to this new restaurant tonight for dinner?" Sid asked, a bit hesitantly, thus breaking the silence. What does he want now?
"Um...I sort of have plans already, sorry" I said, again, not looking up from my file.
"What work?" Sid asked, very very calm I must say!
"Um..a bit personal...I kinda need to go shopping" I said, making up some excuse.
"So I could accompany you to shopping and then we could go to dinner together, you know?" Sid said, expectantly.
Now what do I do?
"Um Sidharth...it's personal stuff...I mean.....you know? Inner wear...you'd not feel comfortable shopping for that with me right? We can go to dinner some-other time?" I said, hopefully.
No I didn't want to go to shopping and definitely not inner-wear. But that's probably the only thing for which Sid would say no to, right?
"Nah no issues Amogha, I can join you! So we'll leave at around 5? We can go to your usual store" Sid said, making me snap my head towards him for the first time on weeks! I only got a glimpse of his glum and tired looking face before he got up from his chair.
Now what do I do?
"Really? Would you feel comfortable?" I asked, hoping for a NO!
"Of course Amogha, why not?" Sid said, stressing on my name and walking out of the cabin.
He's not said my whole name in a very long time! Did I tell you how I love the sound of my name from his mouth??
Snap out of it Ammu! Sid loves another girl, you're still moving on from Adi and you don't like Sid! The kiss was just at the spur of the moment and nothing else!
The whole day passed in a haze and I was dreading the evening, which came too soon for my liking. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with Sid, but I think I need to distant myself from him for some time, move on from whatever the crap I feel for him, compose myself and then become my normal self.
I hate being distant with Sid, but that's the only way to move on! I can't get hurt again, not the same episode like Adi! Sid isn't Adi, but Sid already loves another girl and I shouldn't come in between them. I should help Sid get that bitch so that he can be happy. I'm not jealous of that bitch....Bitch is just an expression. Nope...my inner conscience is going mad!!! That bit...I mean....girl...that girl...Sid deserves her more than a crap like me!
"Ready to leave?" Sid asked at 5 pm sharp.
I sighed as there's no way of avoiding and just said a 'yes', took up my stuff, and went to the door.
"After you" Sid said, opening the office door for me and giving me a clear view of his face at such proximity after 3 weeks! He looks terrible! He looks so....sad! His eyes don't have that usual glint, and those bags under his eyes!! He looks terrible...as though he's not slept properly in a long while! Obviously he hasn't! Heck even I haven't!
Look at what you've done Amogha! You've made him miserable! He must be feeling terrible for having kissed you and cheated on his love - my inner conscience is poking me with a big red fork borrowed from Satan!
"Here we are" Sid said after a very silent 45-minute drive. We reached the usual shopping complex from where I get my daily-wear clothes.
Damn the drive was long! I couldn't bear to look at Sid! I'm responsible for his state! The very awkward silence in the car didn't help either!
"You can stay in the car, I'll be back in a couple of minutes" I said, opening the door of the car.
"Nope, I'm coming with you" Sid said, getting up and shutting the car door behind him.
Very awkwardly, I went alongside him and we went to the regular clothing section. We were walking in such close proximity that my hand regularly brushed his hand and jolts of electricity shot through my body every time it happened.
But Sid didn't move away from me, and since he was my guilty pleasure, I too didn't move away from him - afterall, I love being close to him!!
I picked out a couple of tops for myself and said "Okay I'm done" to Sid.
"So fast? But you said you needed...um....you know?" Sid asked, rubbing the nape of his neck, a pink tinge rising to his cheeks. Did I ever mention that he looks super hot when he does that?
"Huh no it's okay, I'll get it some other time, there's no hurry" I said, blushing.
"No no...we have all the time in the world so get what you want" Sid said.
"But.." Sid interrupted me by saying "No buts...come let's go" and started moving towards the stairs, to the next floor- inner wears.
The female helper at the ladies' inner-wear section was gawking at Sid. I moved a bit closer to him showing her that he's mine, but then realized that he's already taken by that other bitc...I mean...that other girl!
"How can I help you ma'am?" said the girl at the counter, who was too gawking at Sid. I could feel a pang of jealousy so I sub-consciously moved even more closer to Sid, such that our arms were touching.
"Yes please, can you show me a few bras?" I asked her, forgetting that I was shy just a couple of moments ago. As soon as I blurted it out, I could feel heat rising to my cheeks and I shifted slightly away from Sid. Am I bi-polar???
The girl showed a bit of irritation as she asked "What type ma'am? Lacy? Push-up? Sports?".
Again, the bi-polar side of me took over and I blurted out "Push-up". Now I'm sure my face resembles that of a bright red tomato!
"Size?" the sales girl almost shreaked with irritation. Hold your panties girl! Sid is my husband! My man....Well, as long as that bitc...I mean...his love doesn't come, then Sid is my man!
"36D" the bi-polar side of me made me blurt out and now I'm definitely radiating heat off my body 'coz damn I'm blushing like hell! I dared not look at Sid!!
The sales girl came back with a couple of boxes and almost threw them onto the table infront of us.
Very vigorously, she opened the boxes and took out the bras from withing them.
"Which one do you want?" the salesgirl asked me, irritation and jealousy etched in her voice. Bitch I can make you burn even more - the bi-polar side within me smirked and made me pick up the very lingerie-ish push-up bra. It was a aqua-blue colored bra, with the top part of it lacy and the bottom part of it made up of silk. The sales girl was burning now and I just smirked at her.
"You love blue, don't you Sid" I asked him in a silky tone and looked up to find Sid looking at me with a very weird expression on his face - obviously he's shocked because he didn't expect me to just talk bullshit! Heck even I didn't expect myself to say anything like this! But I have to make this bitch burn!!
"Uh..yeah...blue...it'll look good on you" Sid said, rubbing the nape of his neck whilst a pink tinge appeared on his face. I so want to kiss him damn he looks so cute!!
"Okay I'll pack it for you" she said, almost snatching the bra from me and breaking mine and Sid's eye contact.
"Wait, I need a couple more of them" I said, smirking at her. I took up another push-up bra, blood-red this time.
"Could you show me a couple of lacy ones?" I asked her, very innocently, while Sid circled his left hand with my right one.
The sales girl looked as though I asked her to make me the heir for her will! She literally threw the bra in her hand onto the table and stomped away into the closet-door near by.
Damn what's up with me? Why am I acting so weird? And why the heck do I need these lacy push up bras??? Something is definitely wrong with me!!
The sales girl stomped back and again, threw down the boxes in her hand onto the table. She jerked out the contents of the box onto the table. The bi-polar side of me loved to see the bitch burn!
So, I took up the white lacy bra infront of me. It was a completely see-through bra, definitely lingerie! The bitch was burning so badly that was she a cartoon character then she'd definitely be having smoke coming out through her ears!
I smirked at her and said "I need matching panties to go with these!"
That was the last straw I guess! She just stomped off, brought back a couple of boxes and almost ripped open the boxes! I took a white matching lacy panty, and an aqua-blue matching thong!
I DON'T WEAR THONG BUT WHY AM I GETTING THESE??!
What the heck is up with me?? I dare not look at Sid!
"Here, pack these and we're done" I said to the sales girl, handing the pair of bras and panties which were almost sexy lingerie! She looked very agitated, but composed herself and with a very silky voice asked Sid "Anything for you sir?" and batted her eyelashes.
Now it was my turn to have smoke coming outa my ears! "Nope we're done" I said and actually tugged onto Sid's arm!! The heck is up with me? The sales girl looked like she'd burst any moment now.
"Shall we go baby?" Sid asked me, turning his back to the girl. Look at me bitch! Sid loves me!! The bi-polar side of me was smirking at the sales girl.
The heck?? Sid isn't mine!! He loves that other girl from 8 years!!! No!! Why did he call me baby?? Maybe he was tired of that sales girl's attitude! That must be it! The bi-polar side of me was actually kicking me! I seriously need to get myself checked!
The billing was done and we walked back in silence to the car parking. "We're very late so you don't mind if we order in at home right?" Sid asked once we were seated inside his car.
"Han? No it's okay, I can cook" I said, still not looking at him because I'm still very crimson!
"No no...I actually need to talk to you. I'll order now and it'll be delivered exactly when we reach home. What say?" Sid asked, as he pulled the car out of the parking.
"Huh? Um yeah..um...okay" I said, tugging the seat belt. He needs to talk to me??? This doesn't sound good!
The drive back home wasn't any good! Again the awkward silence! The only sound was from the traffic outside. We reached home in silence. I carried my office bag and kept it on my study-desk in the room and taking my towel bolted into the bathroom. The heck is wrong with me?? How am I going to face him now??? First the kiss, then the seduction in towel, and now this lingerie! He must think I'm falling for him!! No I don't love him its just a teeny tiny attraction!
I tossed the clothes I was wearing into the laundry basket and proceeded to the shower. The cold shower helped me calm down. I wiped myself dry and turned around, looking for my clothes.
Fuck! I've not brought any clothes with me!! The clothes in the laundry basket are wet! I can't wear them! The same situation as that during our kiss! Fuck!! Sid is going to think I'm seducing him!!!
What do I do??? I tightly wrapped the towel around me, and it reached a bit above my mid thighs and my cleavage was clearly seen! Damn this towel is small!! I sighed and slowly opened the bathroom door and peeped into the room. Good he's not here! I quickly run into the walk-in wardrobe and closed the door behind me, resting my back against the door and breathing heavily and closed my eyes! That was a close call!!
Why am I going so crazy?? Do I like Sid? Is it an infatuation? A mere lust? No I don't lust! So do I love Sid?? But I'm still getting over Adi, I'm still in the hung-up phase na?? So how could I love Sid?? Maybe I'm just thinking too much? But why did I get jealous of that salesgirl drooling over Sid??
I opened my eyes, still contemplating my earlier behavior at the shopping complex and I almost fainted at the sight in-front of me....
To be continued....