"I loved him the way some people are to be loved - from a distance."
- Sanhita Baruah
************************************************
"What does that even mean?" The frustration and desperation clear in my voice.
I was in shock when I saw Axel's eyes softened and his grip on my chin fell. A small smile crept on to his face and I wasn't sure if I should be scared or in awe.
"I need to tell you something, I just don't know how." He almost whispered.
"Just say it," I told him, not understanding where he's going with this.
Axel took a deep breath and I watched as he held it in for a few moments before releasing it as a loud sigh.
"I try to spend my day as normal." He started, "Well, as normal as it was before you came along." He continued.
"And before now, I never felt out of place being by myself in fact, I preferred it that way." His gaze falling down to the ground.
"I thought I didn't need anybody, especially after what happened with Faye."
"I pushed all those memories away, I forgot about everything and I was relieved because of it." Axel furrowed his brows, still not looking at me when though I couldn't take my eyes off me.
"Time moved on and I was over it, well the best anyone could be anyway."
"But then you came along." His eyes finally snapped towards me.
"The day you come to this house you ruined all of that." He shook his head.
"This face." He said, his hand came up and pinched my chin between his thumb and pointer finger and started moving my face around like was observing it.
"Looked so much like hers." He narrowed his eyes. "And I hated it."
"It haunted me, just like hers had done before. But for some reason, I couldn't stay away. Even though the site of you made want to pull all my hair out." His grip tightened
His words made my stomach sink, it was now my turn to look down at the ground.
"But the more I was around you the less of her I saw in you." He explained. "Faye was uninhabited, she was loud and reckless and got everything she wanted. But you, however, are the complete opposite, you are soft and fragile. Almost as if a slight breeze might one day take you out."
"The more I tried to get you out of my head the more you stayed." He told me.
"So now this face." He slightly shook my head.
"Haunts me for another reason."
My heart started pounding in my chest, I looked up to Axel with my mouth open. I wouldn't have never, not in a million years have imagined those words ever coming out of his mouth.
"I got so pathetic as to every time I wanted to tell you I liked you, I would say shut up instead." He chuckled shaking his head.
"Why are you saying this now?" I asked him, my voice coming out stiff.
He just shrugged his shoulders and smiled down at me. All this time I have never seen this side of Axel, it's like a complete 180.
"Remember when you said you had a weight on your chest and you found relief when looked at me?" He asked.
My cheeks started burning from how cheesy I sounded thinking back on it now but I nodded my head anyway.
"Well, this is me relieving the weight off my chest." He smiled again.
I opened my mouth but no words would form on my tongue. I gapped at Axel, completely speechless.
"But you said nothing can happen between us?" I question confused.
Axel let out another loud sigh and placed a strand of my hair behind my ear before speaking.
"It can't" His smile faded.
"That's why I need you to wait for me, Mia." He says lowly.
"How long am I suppose to wait? A day? A month? A year?" I threw my hands up.
"Why do we have to wait? What if we don't feel the same then?" I was angry and my voice showed it.
"I'll always want you," Axel whispered.
"I can't wait forever, Axel," I said defeated.
"Then I will just stay in a one-sided love." His eyes held so much emotion that it was choking me up.
"Why can't we be together now?" I practically pleaded.
"Mia, how can we be together when you don't even understand why you're even here?" He shook his head disappointed.
"Wait, what?" I knotted my eyebrows together confused.
"That's all I can say right now." He looked down at apologetic.
"Understand why I'm here? What do you mean by that?" I pressed.
Axel just looked away from me, avoiding my questions, something has always been great at doing.
"Please Axel, just be honest with me for once." I grabbed his hand, still trying to persuade him.
"God Mia, don't you get it? I am being honest with you." He practically begged me to understand.
I stood there for a few moments staring at him, trying to contemplate my next moves carefully, finally making my decision. I took a few steps closer towards Axel and leaned in on my tiptoes before carefully placing my lips on his.
The kiss was slow but it had a larger than life feel to it like somehow we both knew this would be the last kiss we would share, at least for a while. I went to pull away but Axel quickly pulled me back into a hug.
"I know what you're going to say." He said. resting his chin on the top of my head.
"Axel-" I started.
"So don't." He cut me off.
"Not yet, let's just stay like this for a while longer." I felt his grip around my waist tighten.
"Just for a little bit." He whispered.
I gave up and let myself sink into his warm body, still amazed but how comforted I am by his touch. I wonder if leaving things like this between us was the best way. If I told him it's best for nothing to happen with us it would be heartbreaking, but if I told him I'd wait for him it would heartbreaking as well.
I nuzzled my head further into his chest and closed my eyes, why can't anything ever be clear and simple? Why can't he tell me why we can't be together? Is it because he's a gang leader? I figured we moved on from that by now.
Taking a deep breath I unhooked my arms from Axel and back away. I mustered up a small smile before speaking.
"This doesn't mean we are friends or anything." I laughed lightly.
Axel though was having none of it.
"Mark my words Mia Morrison, you'll be mine one day."
*******
AYEE A CHAPTER!
what did you guys think?
don't forget to vote/comment/follow for more!
Thanks for reading
Love yourself, love myself