Riven-
I really didn't know what to make of my predicament. Yuna convinced me to drag my shower chair with us to the beach, and while she had a point- and obviously I needed it, it made things easier- I'd still been in a bad mood all morning as I assembled it and shoved it in our shower stall. I guess it beats sitting on the shower floor, or forcing myself to stand on one foot, that didn't mean I liked admitting I needed it, and certainly not in front of Yuna. I'd shown her so many bad sides of me, so many bad parts- I needed to impress her now.
Nonetheless, I indulge in the warmth of the water flowing over me, my hands pressed against the cool tile wall as my head faces the faucet. Water pours over me forgivingly, and I like to imagine this is my baptism, washing away every sin, every mistake, every cruel thing- and with that- every painful thing ever done to me. I like to imagine I'll be a different man when I walk out of here, but I know it's not that easy. I can't just be different like that. I have to try.
I can hear Yuna's footsteps just barely over the water, she creaks the door open and pokes a head in, a sparkly cat ear headband shoving her hair back. "The therapist said she's gonna be here in ten minutes, is it okay if I go first? You can go next?"
Yuna had hired a therapist for us to see while we were out here, that was we knew there was never a chance of us having an awkward run in once we got back home. It was a good idea, and while I didn't love the idea of therapy, it's not like I could tell her I didn't need it.
She looks like an angel right now, a long white flowy dress going down to her ankles. I'd learned that she wasn't against dresses altogether, she just didn't like short ones, or ones that showed off her body. She liked the long boxy ones, and she still looked stunning. The fabric flows away from her, starting at her shoulders and draping down in a straight line all the way to her ankles. The sleeves are short and show off her tanned skin which had grown even darker since we got here, and it looked perfect to kiss.
Her ebony eyes looked more golden today, hidden behind a thick layer of black of lashes. Her hair is straightened, and in a super short bob, pushed back with that headband, I don't think she realizes it's still in- she only uses it to push her hair back when she does makeup.
"Absolutely." I say, realizing I spent the last twenty seconds ogling her and not responding. "If you're sure this will help us."
I raise my brows when she turns to the sink- the shower had glass walls- and watched her lean in towards the mirror, rubbing vanilla chapstick over her lips. I want to yank her in this shower and lick it all off.
"Well it can't make things worse, we all need to get things off our chest." She shrugged, turning around to face me.
"You look-" Hot, sexy, stunning, like a goddess, like the reason I'm gonna die of a heart attack. "-beautiful." I smile.
Yuna's cheeks flush instantaneously. "Yeah?" Her voice is high pitched, a tiny squeak.
Her eyes scan over me, purposely stopping just at my belly button, she wouldn't allow herself to look further. "I like this whole, soapy, no shirt look." She motions to my bare abdomen.
She steps a bit closer, I turn the shower off and open the glass door, silently willing her to do something. She steps closer, hand reaching out and grazing gently down my abs, to the tattoo on my side. She begins to tickle at my ribs.
"Hey!" I lean back further, the chair groaning when I push back from it. "I will spray you with the water if you tickle me again."
Yuna breaks out into a wide grin, she leans down and plants a kiss on my lips, and I think it's a good thing I'm sitting down, or else my leg would've given out entirely.
"See you in a little bit!"
****
After the shower, I walked back into our room and raided the dresser for a pair of shorts and a tank top, my hair was too short to comb so I didn't have to deal with that, leaving me more time to lay on the bed and flip through the TV channels. The windows were open, allowing warm air and the salty smell of the sea in, when out of nowhere, a loud voice from downstairs yells,
"You like drinking and partying, sex with random girls and no commitments! I can't stand to be around people or dance with them, I can't look at guys without seeing Michael and I can't even get to second base without freaking out, so why the hell are you with me?! What do you want?!"
It was Bianca, I jumped off the bed, my heart racing- afraid she was freaking out of about to hurt herself, especially what went down with Michael- I wouldn't blame her if she just snapped.
I peered around the stairs to see Bianca standing up, staring a hole through Hayes' head, tears in her eyes. For a split moment she glanced over at me, sending chills down my spine, Hayes turned around facing me and shook his head with that 'Don't interfere, I got this' look.
I trudged back up the stairs and waited my turn until Yuna came back, I had enough time to take a nap, so I pop my leg back off, prop my stump up on a pillow and close my eyes. When I open them again, Yuna is sitting next to me, touching my shoulder.
"Elisa is ready to speak with you." She smiled weakly and sat at the foot of the bed.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, just...It was emotional." She let out an awkward laugh, looking down at her scarred up palms.
I sat up and held her hands in mine, my eyes gazing over the crescent shaped scars in her palms. Her face was solemn yet at peace, leaning in for another quick kiss.
My feet felt heavy as I walked outside, it had been storming all day, thunder crackling and rain pouring, it had finally died down twenty minutes ago, the sky returning to its normal blue color and the ocean waves crashing against some rocks ahead.
"Riven Morrow, Nice to meet you, I'm Elisa Hardingway." A tall and slender woman extended her hand out to me, her mousy brown hair pulled in a tight ponytail.
"So, I wanted to start by asking a few questions about your family life so I can get an idea of how you grew up."
"shoot." I shrug, rubbing my palms over my rough shorts, trying to hide my emotions, My family was a touchy subject for me. I hated talking about it because I either got extremely mad, or would start crying, and I was so tired of showing emotion, showing my weaknesses.
"Alright...What's the earliest memory of your parents treating you badly?"
My mind wandered as far back as possible, I had a really good memory of my childhood, I could remember as far back as age two, but I usually shoved those memories away or drank them away.
"I was two...I spilled orange juice at this restaurant we were eating at." I rub my hands together, questioning if I should continue. "my mother scolded me and called me called me names, said I was unable to perform any task at all...When I started crying-she slapped me and yelled for me to shut up."
My voice was monotone as I spoke, trying to pretend that little boy was someone else, not me. It was easier to imagine the kid Riven as a completely different person...That way I didn't have to truly face it all. It's another good reason for why I changed my name. That happened to Chase. Not Riven. Not me.
"How did your father react?"
"He was too busy scolding my brother who was laughing at me for crying."
"And how old was your brother at this time?"
"4."
"What's the best memory you have with your family?" She looked over her sunglasses at me, writing on a piece of paper as I spoke.
I remember the day I told Yuna my favorite memory, we were walking around her hometown...Just after I had told her I loved her. When I had no worries in that particular moment, I could still feel all the emotions of that one moment.
"When my sister was born. I was fourteen, my parents were very pleasant that day."
A quick smile formed on my face as I remember what holding Lizzie felt like, how tiny she was, the promise I made her, those wide blue eyes and little strands of dark brown hair, she was the most precious thing to me.
"Why do you think your parents treat you the way they do?"
"They had this plan, three beautiful girls, instead they got two screw up sons and one girl...My brother Marc wouldn't speak up against my parents, he'd take their yelling and punishments silently, but I always yelled back, I hated feeling disrespected and would let them have it. That's why they hate me more than the other kids."
It was true, I had inherited my parents' stubbornness, I wouldn't go down without a fight, meaning we butt heads more often than not. If I made a B in class instead of an A, my dad would call me a disgrace, my mother wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the week, and my brother would tease me for it, I'd fight back. I'd say that If they helped me with homework-maybe I wouldn't fail a test or so on.
"And your brother Marc, how close are you two?"
I let out an angry laugh, crossing my arms, "I loved him a lot, I... I would've done or said anything for him. But he didn't reciprocate, he never will. So we're not close."
"Sounds like you have some pent up anger against him."
"You think?"
"If you could tell your parents and brother anything in this world, with no repercussions, what would you say?"
"You got ten hours?"
Elisa let out a small chuckle as she bent down to grab something from her bag, a whole stack of paper to write on and two pens.
"Take these inside, when you're ready...Write a letter to them, If you don't want to do it, you don't have to send it to them, you can simply rip it up or burn the letter. But write all your thoughts down, It'll help get the emotion out without having to confront someone face to face."
LATER THAT NIGHT-
"Well that was great... Except the part where he died!" Yuna says as we leave the get home from the theater, she'd spent the last twenty minutes of the movie clinging to Bianca and crying. The two girls had definitely grown closer.
"UGH who knew three words could be so sad." Bianca continued as she walked upstairs with Hayes.
"Are you okay? You've seemed...Off, since you saw Elisa." Yuna turned to me when it was just the two of us downstairs.
The house was encompassed in the darkness of the sky, bright stars dotting along the sky, it was much darker tonight due to the new moon.
"She wants me to write a letter to my parents and Marc." I huff, sipping on the cold liquid.
Yuna's eyes widen in surprise, "Oh...Isn't that a good thing though?"
We walk up the stairs together and I stay quiet until our door shuts, blocking the rest of the world out.
"All my life, I've thought about what I really want to tell them...I just don't know what to say though. Have you ever hurt so much that you don't even have words to describe it?"
She nodded silently, pulling me to the bed before placing her lips on my jawline, her fingers running over my head and down the back of my neck.
"Sleep on it, write tomorrow." She winked, pulling the covers over her body and setting her wild head of hair on her pillow, looking at me with starry eyes.
"I love you." I moan once more as I pull her body closer to me, her thin dress being the only thing separating us.
"I love you more."
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A/N: What do you think Riven will write in his letters? Do you think he'll write anything at all?
Vote, comment, recommend! <3