One thing I do relish about Jedi training is that I do have time each and every day to write to you and draw for you when you request it. Below is a sketch from a photo I had of myself. Do not mind the face I am making, as I had not wanted to be photographed that day, hence my hand.
As for your own picture, you look better than I had ever imagined you would. Yes, I too imagine you, late at night and occasionally... No, always, it is accompanied by feelings I never felt before. Uncomfortable, yet pleasant. Perhaps mature for my age, perhaps not. There is no other girl that I think about besides you. In fact, I nary recognize another female on this entire planet. Your "girlish fantasies" as you call them, are very important to me. I write to you and I speak to you of my own despair, but I care so deeply about your feelings and your desires, especially because- if I am understanding your letters correctly- they often involve me.
I find myself thinking of you. I would want to build a family with you. Allow me to ease your worries as you attempt to ease mine. To hear that regardless of which side I would be on that you would stand with me is a relief that was palpable when I read it.
As for the light saber, I struggle to understand exactly how I might make one like that. The Kyber crystal is the main source of energy and it is normally directed in a single direction. Perhaps a crack would suffice... Besides that, I really do enjoy it. I enjoy the color as well. You are a splendid artist, my future wife, and anything you send to me would be appreciate greatly.
Anatomy class sounds very interesting and I wish I could report back that we had such a class. Instead, we learn of history which is interesting in its own right. We are learning about my grandfather right now and I cannot help but feel a connection to him. He also struggled with the Light and Dark Sides, eventually succumbing to the Dark. He was very strong and he had his own command of the Dark Side because of this power. If there were any mold to fit, I imagine it would be his.
I have so much more to say to you, but my pride tells me to wait until I see you in person to relay it to you. My heart, however, begs me to spill everything to you on this page. To tell you exactly how I feel and exactly what I want to do with you.
My body wants to explode! I have so many feelings for you, each their own blazing intensity. But I shall resist. I shall resist until you tell me that you are ready to hear, or read, what I have to say.
I only ask that you response with your own feelings as well.
Passionately,
Ben Solo