I was frustrated on the day of the prom.
So much so that I couldn't even enjoy pizza for the first time in forever!
I mean, how horribly terrible is that? I wondered if anybody else ever suffered such a thing. It's just unimaginable at hind sight.
I had barely three hours left for putting on my prom dress, shoes and makeup and force myself to join the crowd hobbling to the school auditorium in excitement. But man was I interested!
Time had somehow lapsed so considerably since the beach party, that I was surprised to the point of exhaustion. Moreover, the harder I tried to forget about what Kaedan had said, the more solidly carved did it get in my memory.
"When has it ever been about me?"
"I wasn't good enough after all then."
And it irritated me so much. So much! When was it that I never screwed up?!
I looked at the slice of pizza on my plate. And then I looked at an overflowing bowl of doritos beside it, both kept on the table in front of me.
"You've reached a crossroad . . . . Choose."
Ahhhh! Seriously mind?! Seriously?! That's how you gonna play with my feelings now?!
If there was one person who could take my mind off Kaedan, it was the one who jumped in through my window right after that moment.
Pam : Raul! What's— aren't you gonna go to the prom?
Raul chuckled dryly.
Raul : You think?
Saying so, he flopped on the couch before my bed and started gorging doritos down his throat.
Pam : Then why are you here?
Raul : I can't be?
I stopped. Had I sounded that indifferent?
Why was I rejecting everybody around me now?!
When I didn't say anything more, Raul quite abruptly sat up straight, put down the bowl—now half filled with the snack and faced me.
Raul : Aren't you going to the prom? Isn't Kaedan coming?
Ah. . . Right. Neither of us had actually told anybody about anything that had happened between us. I felt quite guilty suddenly. With all the things that approached after that . . . mostly exams and important basketball matches, the frequent talks ceased becoming frequent.
And I realized another thing. With Daniel gone, this was a perfect opportunity to confess to him. Susan's advice. . . . had lingered in my mind all this time. But I never managed to gather up enough courage to actually play it out in reality and not just in my head. All of a sudden, I wondered why.
Pam : Well I don't think I'll be going to the prom anymore.
Raul : Huh? Wh—
Pam : You aren't going either, are you?
Raul : It's mostly because I don't have a date—
Pam : I don't either.
Raul : Wha—
It was now or never.
Pam : I love you.
He paused.
I paused. I bit my lip in utter anxiety.
The only sounds in the room were our breaths and the wall clock.
Raul : . . . . . . . .
Pam : . . . . . . . .
Raul : . . . . . . . . I know.
Wait a fucked up second— what?!
Pam : . . . Huh?
Hadn't I kept it hidden so carefully?
Raul took in a deep breath before meeting my eyes once again.
Raul : That night at the beach, you were drunk.
Pam : . . . . Yea—yeah. I was very drunk.
Raul : Do you remember what you said to me?
My confused heart started thumping loudly. Nervousness gripped my body.
Pam : You— I— what. . . What did I say?
I suddenly sounded . . . . kinda threatening. Yet Raul smiled kindly.
Raul : What you said right now. You said exactly what you said right now, along with a lot of other words full of ascertained sensibility . . . I think. So it is true.
Okay, okay . . . . Shit. I felt like a deflated balloon. I was somehow relieved but it was narrow and painful.
This wasn't how I had pictured it!
Pam : Ahhhh. . . . so that's what can happen when you're drunk, huh?
Raul : I was too tense to actually bring it up until now.
Courage, courage!
I had enough of it now.
Pam : So . . . what are you gonna say about it?
Raul : . . . Me too.
Pam : Heh?
Raul : I love you too, Pam.
His eyes crinkled as he continued smiling gently at me. My gaze was sealed. After a few seconds of silence, I relaxed and smiled at him too.
Raul : Just know that you'll always be a very important person to me. Like a treasure, you know. But only a treasure I can't lock inside a box.
I stared . . .
I laughed . . .
And then I nodded.
I made a mental note to thank Susan later. I felt great after that confrontation.
Well, that's a nerd for you.
After Raul left, I realised that only thirty minutes were remaining for the prom to commence. And that's when the rest of the nerd's words, that I hadn't even tried to understand, returned to me.
"You should try looking at the people around you too."
Hm. . . . I know, right?
I was immediately up and throwing on my knee-length silver dress as if the place was about to get bombed. Then grabbing my shoes, a random clutch stuffed with a lonely cell phone and some doritos, I rushed out the door and ran like crazy without stopping for even catching my breath until I reached Kaedan's driveway. In my condition, I knew I looked pretty fucked up.
After gathering enough air inside my lungs, I shouted as loudly as I could—
Pam : DUDE I JUST REALISED SOMETHING HUGE! IF YOU'RE IN THERE, COME OUTSIDE! NOW!!
After four seconds, there came a noise like rolling barrels crashing through a staircase from inside the house. I quickly put on my shoes, straightened my hair as best as I could and licked all the dorito crumbs off my fingers and face before the door opened and the basketball team captain tottered out.
Pam : Your parents are in?
The boy who was apparently breathing quite heavily nodded.
Pam : Sorry.
Kaedan then looked at me properly.
Kaedan : You're a mess.
Pam : Thanks. I know.
Nope. I sounded genuine this time.
Before Kaedan could question me, I blurted everything out.
Pam : You know what? This whole day today—oh who am I kidding? The last two weeks! This whole time I've been thinking about only one person. You! I've been thinking about you and what you said and your face and your voice and the way you—you spread out your arms that night. Did you want me to hug you or something?
Kaedan : M—
Pam : But anyways. This is the first time, my mind has ever been so filled—completely filled—with thoughts about only one person.
I suddenly noticed I was still panting.
Pam : You know what that means?
Kaedan : . . . . Uh, no . . . ?
I scowled.
Pam : Oh my god, you're gonna make me say it now?
Kaedan finally gave in. He laughed. And his laugh sounded wonderful. I continued looking at him. He was pretty.
When he stopped laughing, he spread out his arms again. I didn't even need a hint. I almost ran into his embrace. And we hugged for a long, long while. He was the only other boy I had ever hugged besides Raul. I buried my face in his warm shirt so that my voice sounded kinda muffled, but was still audible.
Pam : Give me another chance?
He nodded into my neck.
I was Raul's treasure. And Kaedan would be mine. As long as these feelings remained staked inside me, I knew I'd be just fine.
It was more than good enough for me.
~~~
And that's it folks! Here the POVs end!
*sniffs once* *sniffs twice*
*Starts wailing like it's the end of the story*
But actually, it isn't completely the end yet. We still have the epilogue.
So yay! You guys don't have to chuck this book outta your library yet.
And yes, do vote and COMMENT one last time before the epilogue.
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!
See you again at the epilogue then!
Peace!
- Mallina ;)