Song: Panic! At The Disco: This Is Gospel (Piano Version)
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Samuel left. Just as I'd told him to. He didn't waste another second before he trudged out of the room and closed the door with heavy fingers.
I barely paid attention to the rest of the night. What was once a warm and inviting room had now turned cold. The yellow eyes that plagued my mind just moments before could no longer hold a place in any part of my consciousness. I was completely overcome with the image of my mother's dead body, forever burned into my heart.
The night was spent crying. At some point, I drifted into a fitful slumber tormented with images of dead bodies. Each time I awoke, another round of sobs would attack me. This continued for torturous hours, until I finally gave up on sleeping, and accepted the dark. Tears came silently, then.
The sun crept into my room, inch by inch. The light turned from the pale colors of sunrise to a harsh glare, shining through the window into my dead eyes. It beckoned me to come outside and experience its warmth, and bathe in its life.
I stayed in bed. I curled myself deeper into the blankets, cocooning my body so that I was safe from the outside world. If I never left, I wouldn't have to face what happened. I could stay forever in my respite and peacefully waste away.
As time went on, the sun cast mocking shadows across my room. I could hear voices and movements throughout the house, but I had no desire to follow them. This wasn't needed though, as they came to me. Each time the sun would move a few inches, footsteps would draw nearer to my door, and occasionally, it would creak open. I never bothered to look up to see who it was that came into my room, and likewise, the person disturbing me never made a noise. They would simply open my door and deposit food next to my bed, then leave without uttering a syllable.
The day dragged on. By the end of it, a pile of food, ice packs, and medicine had accumulated next to my bed. Like everything else, I ignored it. My eyes simply stared at the walls, not bothering to see my surroundings. My thoughts followed suit. They entered into my mind, but when I did little to dwell, they left. In their wake was a numbness, encasing my body.
The room was bathed in the orange light of sunset when the door creaked open, once more. However, unlike before, the person who entered lingered in the entryway.
"You haven't really eaten anything," Raven cleared her throat.
My eyes focused for the first time that day, scanning Raven once over. Her hair was pulled up and it accentuated the anxious light flickering within her chocolate eyes. When she caught my glance, she smiled. I pulled the blankets back over my head.
I heard her sigh. "I brought some tea. It's what I usually drink when I'm upset."
She settled herself at the foot of the bed. The blankets welcomed her as their own, pulling away from my face as they did. She peered around the cloth to attempt another look at me, but I turned away.
"It's really good if you give it a try. Not too heavy, so it won't make you sick or something."
A warm cup was placed on the sheets, next to my hands. I stared at steam ascending from the brown liquid, feeling the additional and unwanted warmth invade my cocoon of blankets.
When I continued ignoring her, Raven's shoulders sagged. "I'm not allowed to leave until you eat or speak. Whichever comes last."
Her words rooted their way into my mind, and before I knew it, I opened my mouth to let out a raspy groan. "Go away."
"There." I could hear the smile in her voice. "You're halfway done."
She shifted, pulling the blankets further away from my face. I glared daggers at her hopeful expression. Raven's face faltered, and she bent her head. The image of her sitting at the foot of my bed, defeated, brought back memories of the previous night. Not the horrific images that plagued my dreams, but the reality that carried just as much weight.
A picture of Samuel, shaking his head in agony, made its way to the forefront of my mind. I tried ignoring it like I'd been successfully doing all day, but with Raven sitting at the bottom of my bed, continually reminding me, the image refused to pass.
A weight began to settle on consciousness. It dripped into my soul like a leaking faucet at first, before it advanced as a raging storm. Then, everything hit. The numbness I'd succumbed to the entire day cracked away, and its place was every emotion I'd tried to suppress. Each one tore at my heart as a gust of torrential wind, ripping me in half time and time again.
Raven stared at me, watching the battle rage. Her eyes drooped and she licked her lips. "Do you want to talk?"
My mouth pressed into a firm line and I shook my head. She nodded and pushed the mug of tea closer to my hand, warming the skin. I lowered my gaze and took hold of the cup, embracing the added warmth it provided my suddenly cold body.
"Drink. It'll make you feel better." Raven raised her own cup to her lips. I mimicked her actions, letting a small sip of the brown liquid enter my mouth. It was sweet and instantly livened my senses.
"See?"
I sighed and gave a slight nod.
She smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes. "It's okay, you know." When I was silent, she continued in a soft voice. "It's okay to hurt."
The tears I'd been fighting began falling down my cheek, dripping into my cup. I opened my mouth, but words refused to come out. Raven saw this and slowly reached her hand toward mine.
"Can you sit up?"
I nodded, blindly following her request. As I did, Raven placed her cup on the floor, replacing it with another ice pack.
"Here, take this."
Before I could protest, she took my cup away and placed the ice pack in my hand. I looked at it for a moment, before moving away countless blankets and fixing it gingerly over my swollen ankle. The purple skin was met with immediate relief.
I sighed, then slowly brought my gaze up to Raven, raising an eyebrow.
"You're not getting rid of me yet." She pointed her finger at the pile of food beneath us. "You have to eat, first."
My gaze fell on the food and my stomach churned. I licked my lips and cleared my throat. "I'm not hungry."
She smiled. "Then I guess I'll be here a while."
I sighed. The deep breath caused a coughing fit to rack my lungs. Raven quickly gave me the mug of tea, at which I took a grateful sip. When it was finished, I placed it back on the ground and gave her a sympathetic look.
"You can leave, Raven. I'm sure Samuel won't care if I eat, or not."
She shrugged her shoulders. "Well, it's a good thing Samuel isn't the one who told me to come in here, then." When I met her statement with confused silence, Raven continued, smirking. "I can think for myself, sometimes."
"But you said-"
"I know," She laughed, softly. "I made myself a rule that I couldn't leave until you ate or drank something."
I stared at her for a moment before an unwilling smile crept onto my face. "Won't they notice you gone?"
"Everyone is a bit preoccupied, at the moment."
I nodded, adjusting the ice pack on my ankle. Raven looked at it for a moment before twisting her fingers together and pulling on her shirt, glancing in my direction.
"Samuel spoke to the pack this morning. It was a pretty good speech."
"I'm sure it was." I bit my lip as the earlier weight pushed harder on my chest.
"I'm surprised he isn't down here with you."
And just like that, the storm came back, tearing me apart, once more. "I'm not."
Raven paused her nervous twisting. "What do you mean?"
"Nothing."
The air grew heavy in the room, and I knew what Raven was going to say before she whispered, "Something obviously happened. You want to talk about it?"
"No."
Raven resumed twisting her fingers. "Was it your mother?" She took my silence for her answer and continued. "I'm so sorry. I can't imagine. I-I know you said you didn't want to talk, but it helps, really." She hesitated before asking her next question. "How did Samuel handle it?"
I bent my head, no longer deluding myself with the notion that Raven would let me ignore this reality. I took a long sip of tea before responding. "Fine."
"Did he say what happened?"
"No."
She narrowed her eyes, slightly. "Does he know why?"
"I doubt it."
Raven tilted her head. "Did he say anything?"
I took a long breath through my nose and closed my eyes. "I did most of the talking."
She nodded, content with that small piece of information. "I'm sure you needed comforting."
A sudden knife pierced my heart as I remembered Samuel's arms wrapping tirelessly around me. Without them, I would have collapsed and never walked again.
"Did he tell you about this morning?" Raven continued her slew of questions.
I shook my head. "I haven't seen him since last night."
"Oh," She paused, debating her answer. "Did something happen? I would have thought he'd be here," she trailed off. Again, Raven took my silence for an answer and gave me a sad smile. "I'm sure he'll come soon, either way. He cares for you."
I broke my gaze away from her as another surge of tears fell from my eyes. No matter how I pushed them away, they fell, along with my whisper. "That's the problem."
"What do you mean?" She gave me a side-glance and began patting my extended leg.
My voice was shaking. "He cares."
"I don't think that's a problem," she trailed off.
I shook my head, bringing sudden trembling fingers to my face. "You don't understand."
She was quiet for a long moment. Then, she emphasized, "Did something happen?"
For a long moment, the only noise in the room was our breathing. Raven's question turned over in my mind again and again, until I couldn't come up with the words to answer. The question was simple, and so was the response, but no matter how I tried, I couldn't utter a word.
"I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me," Raven eventually broke the silence. "I think I understand, and I'm sorry I brought it up. Sometimes things just don't work out, I guess. "She raised herself from the end of the bed, patting the blankets. "I'll go now."
I didn't try to stop her.
The remainder of light quickly faded from vibrant red and orange to a dull dimness blanketing the room. I'd been left with my thoughts for hours now, and unlike before, I couldn't numb them away. They continued torturing me until there were no tears left in my eyes, no strength remaining in my limbs. However, I couldn't find it in me to care to move. I couldn't find it in me to care to even think. The problems that haunted my consciousness only the day before were now insignificant. What did it matter who took my mother? What did it matter who killed Riley, who bit Will? The latter would probably not survive. The other two were already dead. And lastly, the only one that I might have had left in the wake of all the devastation, I'd pushed away.
Darkness encompassed my room. The last light of day had faded, and I was left with nothing more than a cold moon glinting through a dirty window. Almost unconsciously, I pushed the blankets from my body and removed a now melted ice pack from my ankle. My legs slipped off the bed, my injured ankle landing on the floor last. To my surprise, the pain wasn't nearly as intense as the night before, and I was able to walk. So, I did. I walked straight to my bedroom door, and with only a moment of hesitation, creaked it open.
The hallway was deserted. I expected to find Raven or the man from the previous night, but there wasn't a soul in sight. Without waiting for one to appear, I slipped out of my room trudged down the hall. I went opposite the direction of the main part of the house and made my way deeper into the maze of doorways. It only took a few minutes and several lucky turns to reach my destination; a shining metal door. Specifically, the door Will was locked behind.
Not to my surprise, the door was sealed shut. I tried it time and time again, but with each yank of the handle, the only thing accomplished was exhaustion. After pulling on the door for several minutes, my feet slid out from underneath me, and I collapsed on the ground. Tears and silent sobs tore through my body, as once again, grief overcame my senses. But this time, there was no one to lash out at. This time, I was utterly alone.
I remained outside Will's door the entire night. No one came to find me. After Raven left, there was no need. They were all off in their own parts of the house, mourning their own losses. My own was only a drop of water compared to their ocean. A small, insignificant, drop.
Swift footsteps echoing down the hall was what woke me. It took some time until they reached Will's door, but by the time they did, I knew to whom they belonged.
"Samantha." Samuel's deep voice confirmed my knowledge.
I raised my head off the floor but stayed sitting in order to avoid looking at him. My voice came out gravelly and almost as low as his. "Samuel."
His frame was stiff. "Raven suggested I give you breakfast. I put it in your room."
"My room is down the hall."
"I know. I was coming to check on Will."
I shifted, keeping my gaze planted on the wall, unsure of how to respond.
Samuel answered for me. "I'll come back later."
His footsteps began to retreat. Again, the loneliness of the hallway surrounded me, and before I could stop myself, I called out to him. At my voice, Samuel paused, then turned back around. He waited for me to continue, but I couldn't find the words. My gaze stayed trained on the wall and I bit my lip, forcing back the tears I thought had subsided.
"What do you want, Samantha?"
Samuel's tone was harsh. His words stung. In response, I stuttered over my own. Everything I spoke was incoherent and meaningless. When my voice died off, silence filled the hall, much heavier than before. Despite the knowledge that Samuel was only feet away, loneliness crept in, along with the image of him sitting at the end of my bed, broken. Then came memories of my spitting voice and accusations, throwing him over the edge into a pit of agony.
The heavy weight filled my chest, once more. When I looked up, Samuel was gone. He left me outside Will's door, with nothing more than I deserved. As I watched him plod down the hall, a piece of my heart that I hadn't known existed was torn in two.
Another hour passed. Just as I was debating returning to my cocoon, another set of footsteps came trodding down the hall. Tentatively, I raised my gaze to face their owner. Golden hair flashed into my vision, just before Goldie spoke.
"What are you doing out here?" She stopped just in front of me, standing close enough so that I had to tilt my head back to see her. When I met her gaze, I flinched. She was glaring at me, clear displeasure lacing her sharp eyes.
My heart skipped a beat, and I lowered my gaze. "Leaving."
"Don't leave on my account."
I hesitated, flicking my eyes up to her. She had her hands on her hips, and the glare was etched deeper into her face. Instead of responding, I rose to my feet and pressed my back into the wall opposite of her, inching back down the hallway.
Her voice stopped me. "Where is your guard?"
"I haven't seen him since yesterday."
Goldie was silent for a moment. I chanced another glance at her, only to see she was pinching the bridge of her nose. "Him?"
Confused, I nodded.
She shook her head in frustration. "This is getting ridiculous," her voice trailed off. Just as it did, her eyes snapped back up to mine, narrowing.
"You shouldn't be walking."
"I - What?"
"I said you shouldn't be walking. On your ankle. Marshall will kill you."
My eyes fell on my foot. It was still discolored, but it hardly hurt. "I'm fine."
"I'm sure you are."
My mouth fell open, but again, no words would come out. Goldie continued glaring at me, and when I couldn't take it any longer, I sank back into the wall. "I'll just be going, now."
"Don't you want to see him?"
I stopped, my gaze darting back to her. "What?"
"Do I really have to repeat myself every time I speak?" She rolled her eyes. "Do you want to see Will?"
"Well, I mean, of course. But,"
"But, what?"
My shoulders raised as my hands searched the air for an answer. "I didn't know I could."
Goldie rolled her eyes again. "That is why I'm here."
"To let me see Will?"
She shook her head. "To check on him. I just figured you'd be here, too."
"Then why-"
"Do you want to see him, or not?" She snapped.
Instead of answering, I began walking back to where she stood. When I came to her side, I gripped the wall for some sort of support.
She dug into her pocket, and a moment later forced something into Will's door. The steel elicited a series of clicks before it fell silent and opened a crack. Goldie held the door, glancing back at me.
"He's stable and should be fine. Don't provoke him."
I nodded, but she still didn't let me through. I brought my gaze up to meet hers, only to see her brow furrowed.
"I'm serious," she continued, holding my gaze captive. "Samuel will kill me if something happens to you."
I shook my head and mumbled. "I'm sure."
"I know you don't like him, but believe me, he will care. He always cares."
My eyes were firmly planted on my feet, now. I waited for Goldie to open the door for me, but she stayed in place, holding me hostage outside.
After a silent moment, she snapped. Her hand fell away from the door, but instead of opening it, she closed harshly. She huffed out a breath and landed her hands on her hips.
"Do you?"
"Do I, what?"
I could almost hear her eyes rolling. "Care."
I bit my lip. Flashbacks of all the moments I had been asked that question swam in my mind, and my initial impulse was to answer with what Goldie wanted to hear. But, instead of giving into the impulse, I fought it. I had nothing else to lose. Riley was no longer threatening my family, but that didn't even matter. My mother was dead. Will was already a wolf. There was no more leverage. Nothing more tying my hands and forcing me to answer appropriately.
Nothing, except how I truly felt.
Goldie noticed my hesitation. After a moment, she sighed and resumed her previous glare. "Nevermind. I know how you feel." Without waiting for my response, she unlocked the door and began to retreat. "Lock the door when you're done."
***
Thank you guys for all the awesome support!! The last chapter had SO many comments. I can't even keep up with them! Maybe I should rip hearts out more often... xD (just kidding- I couldn't writing handle that...)
Thoughts on the chapter? Why was Goldie so miffed? What did you think of Samuel's actions? What will Samantha do??
Please excuse grammatical stuff and let me know if something didn't make sense. I edited this at like 3am (because I'm crazy) so let's just say I could have missed some stuff, haha.
Mquistey