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Edit: 28/01/2021
𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗕𝗘𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗬 𝗣𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘!
Guys, I've been seeing this a lot in the comment section and felt the need to clarify... THE 𝗦𝗨𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗗𝗘 𝗛𝗢𝗧𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘 GREETING LINE IS NOT REAL! 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗜𝗦 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗬 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗣𝗨𝗥𝗘 𝗔𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗘𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧. 𝗣𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘 𝗗𝗢𝗡'𝗧 𝗔𝗦𝗦𝗢𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗧𝗘 𝗜𝗧 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗟 𝗦𝗨𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗗𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗣𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦, 𝗜𝗧 𝗗𝗢𝗘𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗡 𝗜𝗡 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗟 𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗘!
𝗥𝗘𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗧! 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗚𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘 𝗜𝗡 𝗠𝗬 𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗬 𝗜𝗦 𝗙𝗜𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡, AND 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗧𝗢 𝗕𝗘 𝗔𝗦𝗦𝗢𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗟 𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗘 𝗦𝗨𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗗𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗣𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦.
So can I please not see another comment asking if "Where we convince you not to kill yourself" is what they say in real or not. ITS NOT! Its in bold and capital letters so it should be clear enoug𝗵.
Anyway, not to end this on a bad note, please do enjoy reading. Don't forget to vote and comment (I always respond even if it takes me a while)
Much love x
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12:20 pm
"Hello! This is the Suicide Hotline, where we try to convince you not to kill yourself. How may I help you?"
"Um ... before I say anything else, I'd like to ask you something important."
"Excuse me? Who am I talking to?"
"That doesn't matter, can I just you a question?"
"Yeah sure, like what?"
"Which one came first ... the chicken or the egg?"
"..."
"... Hello? Are you still there?"
"I'm sorry, is this some kind of joke?"
"No it isn't. I'm genuinely curious. This is a question based on life and death."
"..."
"Hello? ... so are you going to answer the question?!"
"NO... ahem, I mean no! You do realize you called a suicide hotline right?"
"I do, which is why your answer could either lead me to my death or potentially save me, because I'm currently hanging on top of a roof of a 30 foot building, questioning my whole existence"
"... I'm sorry, I don't know whether this is a joke or not. Are you drunk? Are you high?"
"Neither of the two ... you better answer my question girl and I'm dead serious because one leg is hanging over the ledge this moment and I'm about to slide the other one before I--"
"-- Okay, okay! I'll answer it!"
"I'm listening!"
"...ahem... the chicken?"
"Wrong answer but thank you for listening!"
"Ok--- wait what?"
*dial tone*
Written: 12 March 2018
Published: 31 July 2018
---291 words--
°𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝°