They say that it's normal for every couple to fight and argue with each other, but what about if that's what they always do? What if there's no more conversing like normal human beings but rather, they're at each other's throats? And what if, you and your partner aren't the only ones caught in the middle of it but also, your four year old daughter?
After the night that Izzy found both of her parents arguing, one would've thought that the couple would have tried for their daughter, but they didn't. Their relationship only seemed to have gotten a lot worse. To the point that Lauren was having not only thoughts but she even spoke to her attorney about filing for a divorce and custody of Izzy.
"So, I need to ask Lauren...is there any chance of reconciliation?" Lauren's attorney questioned as she flipped through the documents her client presented to her. It was only mandatory for her to ask that, instead of simply filing for the divorce.
Lauren sighed heavily and ran her hand through her hair messily. "I...don't know, Normani. We've been going to therapy for a few weeks now and that doesn't seem to be helping. Dr Briggs is very skilled, but I don't think my wife was even trying. Now, all she does is try to pick a fight with me, and its affecting our daughter. I'm not just doing this for me..."
The woman nodded. "I understand, Lauren. But is this what Camila wants? Is this what the both of you want?"
Normani had known Lauren for quite a number of years; they met in her final year of college. She had never met Camila due to their both heavy workload, but from what she knew, the couple was to be envied. As an attorney, she was supposed to respect her client's wishes, but as Lauren's friend for many years, she couldn't simply allow her friend to end her marriage and possibly ruin her life.
"Normani, I didn't come here as your friend, I came here as a client. Please. I'm tired of the constant fighting, I'm tired of crying every single night, I'm tired of being the only one trying. I know at one point she wanted this marriage to work out, but all she manages to do now, is bring up what happened between Hailee and I," she mumbled. Normani looked at her friend sympathetically. "I can't put Izzy through this. I can't hurt my daughter. I love, Camila with all my heart, but..." her voice started breaking. "But we're breaking both our hearts by staying in a marriage that's going nowhere."
The woman's attorney sighed. She had never seen her friend like this before. Their marriage had seemed strong, but no one really knows what goes on behind close doors. Not every smile someone portrays is genuine, not everyone means it when they say 'I'll never hurt you' and sometimes it's not always easy to forgive the ones you love.
"Okay, Lauren. I'll have the documents ready for you before the ending of the week. I'll call you and we'll set up an appointment for the both of you to sign the papers. But Emilia's custody will be a very long battle, that's if Camila isn't willing to give her up. However, you have the upper hand given that you're the more stable parent for her," Normani said as she skimmed through a document.
Lauren nodded. She hadn't expected to ever find herself sitting in a lawyer's office filing for a divorce, from the woman she was and still is so madly in love with. People may say that she cannot be in love with Camila if she had kissed another woman. Others may argue that she wasn't in the right frame of mind when she did it and it was simply just a kiss.
But the problem lies deeper than that.
Lauren had always felt inferior to Camila. In high school, she was always the more popular one, meanwhile Lauren only had a close knit group of friends. So, with Camila being famous and having all these celebrities around her, there was also rumours swirling around that she was cheating on her wife with various celebrities. Many of her wife's fans aka 'Minions' had shipped her with Ariana, and Lauren had observed their relationship over the years and felt like something was going on between the two.
So yes, instead of being an adult and discussing her issues with her wife, she decided to get drunk out of her mind with Hailee; a woman Camila had trusted with her wife, and commit an act of infidelity. Which ultimately led to the deterioration of their marriage and the constant heartache not only the couple but their daughter had to experience.
Before Lauren could've responded, her phone rang. Normani shrugged allowing her friend to answer.
"Mami?"
"Hola, mija," Clara Jauregui's voice boomed through the phone. It had been quite sometime since Lauren had spoken or even seen her mother. "How are you?"
What sort of question was that? Lauren thought. She wasn't okay. Her marriage was falling apart and she felt as thought she was losing her sensibility. So instead of telling her mother what was going on, she decided to go with the shorter response.
"I'm fine. How have you been? I'm sorry I haven't called you in a while. Work has been really hectic," it wasn't necessarily a lie. Her photography business was quite successful, but she rarely ever did anything, unless the person requested for Lauren.
Clara didn't respond for a few seconds, "I've been fine. I could've popped in like what your sister does, but I just want to let you know that I'll be coming to spend some time with you this week. It's been forever since I've seen my grand baby."
The woman sighed heavily. This was the last thing she needed. Her mother had known about what had went down between Camila and her, but the last thing Lauren wanted to do was entertain her mother.
"For how long?"
"Oh no too long, just for a couple of day maybe," Mrs Jauregui said mindlessly.
Truth be told, Maggie had been updating her mother on what was going on with the couple when she visited. When Lauren had told her that she will be visiting her attorney; she never did mention that she was filing for a divorce, but Maggie still informed her mother. Clara had been very supportive of her daughter's relationship with the young singer. She had loved Camila dearly and took her under her wing.
Of course she had been disappointed in the way her daughter acted. Yes, it was just a kiss, but when the vow of marriage is taken, your partner should relinquish all the needs for someone else. Whether it was a drunk or sober action, it was still wrong. Depending on how you saw it.
Normani cleared her throat, signalling that they needed to finish their meeting.
"I um..that's fine, mami. I'll let Camila know. But I have to go now, I'll see you soon," Lauren tried to hurry up the conversation with her mother.
"That's fine, mija. I'll see you soon. I love you."
"I love you too."
Lauren slipped her phone into her jacket and addressed Normani. "I'm sorry about that. It's just my mother."
The attorney nodded. "It's fine. I didn't mean to hurry you but I have another client coming in soon. So, I'll have everything ready for you before the ending of the week, okay?"
Lauren took a deep breath and nodded. She couldn't believe that she was going to go through with this. "Okay. You'll just contact me, or my secretary, and I'll come here as soon as I can."
***
After she left her attorney's office, Lauren didn't head home just yet. She took a stroll around the park that was in close proximity to her home. She just needed to clear her head even if it was just for a moment. The thoughts that kept running through her head about the divorce were driving her crazy.
Did she really want to do this?
At times, yes she did. It seemed as though it would be a lot easier, because it was torture in the space between them.
Maybe there was nothing left to fight for. It felt as though it was too much. The pain, it was too much for her heart too bear.
You only win if you don't give up.
Love is war and war is love.
She saw a couple a distance off from her and she sighed sadly. "Where did we go wrong?"
At times, Lauren felt as though it wasn't just the kiss that had hurt Camila. Obviously it did, but she felt like there was something more to it. They never did sit down as a couple besides when they were forced to discuss it in therapy. But even then, it didn't seem as though it was working.
What would Chelsea think when she got to find out that they weren't going to come to therapy anymore?
As a marriage counsellor, yes, she couldn't downright tell the couple to divorce or stay together, it was their decision to make. But she had been trying with the couple to help them resolve their issues and to improve their communication. However, it doesn't seem as though it was working.
It's painful to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go. But you know what's more painful? Asking someone to stay when you know that more than anything they want to leave.
In Lauren's mind, she thought that Camila wanted to leave her. Why would she stay? She had hurt her, she wasn't nothing special. Yeah, she was a sort of celebrity and a big shot photographer, but compared to her wife, she was a nobody.
Realising that she had spent enough time moping, she decided to head home. Lauren wasn't sure how she was going to tell Camila that she had filed for a divorce. She wasn't asking for anything. Her wife could've had their penthouse in Los Angeles, she could've kept her car and all her money. She would've gotten to see Izzy whenever she was in town, but the heartache of being with Camila when nothing felt to be getting any better?
Yeah, she wanted that to stop.
When she pulled up in front of her home, there was an all too familiar car sitting in the driveway. Groaning loudly, she stepped out of her vehicle and locked it. You're never too sure if someone would try to steal it.
From the moment she stepped into her home, she saw her wife sitting across from her mother; who had Izzy sitting in her lap. Clara had always loved her grandchild and spent as much time as she could've with her. But as time went by, the grandmother-granddaughter duo didn't spend as much time together.
Everyone seemed to have been hurting poor Isabella. The night she stumbled upon her parents arguing, it took a lot of consoling to calm the child down, but the questions she kept asking her parents, well...she never got an answer. However, it seems as though she'll be getting her answer soon.
"Mami," Lauren greeted her mother. "What are you doing here?"
Her mother scoffed fondly as her daughter gave her a hug. "I told you I was coming to visit, mija. Why are you acting so shocked?"
"I didn't think you meant so soon. I didn't even tell Camila."
The brunette shrugged at the mention of her name. "I don't mind Clara spending some time with us. Izzy is rather happy that her abuelita is here. Aren't you baby?"
Izzy nodded furiously. "Yes! I'm really happy that, abuelita is here. I missed her so much. Can I show you my room? We painted it pink!"
Pink. What an ugly colour.
Clara obviously couldn't resist her granddaughter's request so she headed upstairs to see her room.
"Camila..." Lauren said softly. "We need to talk."
How was Lauren going to break this news to her wife? Would it be easier if she told her now? Did she buy a cake that had 'We're no longer married, so feel free to hoe!' scrawled across it.
She didn't know what to do anymore. But what she did know was that even though she thought she wanted to divorce her wife, at the same time she wanted more than anything to try to work things out with her wife.
"Talk about what?"
The photographer ran her hand through her hair and opened her mouth, but no words seemed to come out. "I um....we'll talk about this later I guess. It's really not that important."
Camila furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head. "No. Tell me what it is." She scooted off the chair and stood up facing her wife, with some distance between them.
Lauren's heart began pounding against her ribcage, her breathing became shallow, if she didn't know better, she would've assumed she was going to have a heart attack.
The brunette approached her wife but Lauren stepped back. Every fibre of her being was screaming at her, telling her not to say anything, to call the divorce off, but she couldn't. She knew that Camila deserved better and she knew that 'better' wasn't her.
"I'm filing for a divorce and sole custody of Izzy."
And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, the moment some of you were waiting for, the moment some of you dreaded and then the moment some of you knew was going to happen, just not so soon.
Camila felt her world instantly collapse. See, it was like she was riding a bicycle, but then the steering handle fell off and she didn't know what direction the bicycle was headed.
Who was she going to be now? How was she going to live this life without her soulmate?
This was the same woman who didn't want to end their marriage, she was the same woman who begged her wife to go to couple's therapy because she couldn't see a life without her. But now? Everything had changed. A part of Camila knew that Lauren would've only endured so much, because she wasn't listening to Dr Briggs' advice. She had tried but then everything came rushing back, all the hurt feelings and the constant crying, it came back and it had hurt her even more than it did the first time she had caught the duo.
Camila's throat went dry. She blinked and stared at her wife in disbelief. She wasn't sure what she heard was correct. Did her wife really say that she wanted a divorce?
"You want what...you're filing for what?" She stuttered out, her brain wasn't allowing her to form coherent sentences.
Lauren's eyes started to glaze over. "Please...please don't make me repeat it," she shut her eyes tightly and when she reopened them, she saw the tears that were flowing out of Camila's. "Camz...you need to understand, that this is hard for me to do. But it's the better option. We can't keep doing this."
"Doing what, Lauren? Doing what?" Camila whispered out. She had her arms wrapped protectively around her torso, trying to protect herself from the words that Lauren had said and would say. "Didn't you...didn't you want to work this out?"
"I did. I really did, Camila. But you...you didn't...you didn't seem as though you wanted to. Whenever we made one step forward, you took 10 steps back and pulled me along with you," Lauren's own voice was breaking. "How can we keep doing that? How can we keep breaking each other's hearts?"
Camila shook her head 'no'. "That's not true, Lauren. I wanted to. I really wanted to but...but it hurts," the tears were flowing and she had no idea when they planned on stopping. "Every time...every single time I see you...I see that moment...and I...I feel the same pain in my heart when I saw the two of you."
Lauren reached out for her wife, but it was her turn to back away. "Camz..."
Camila pulled up her sleeve and showed Lauren the bracelet she got for Christmas from her. "Do you see that infinity sign?" Her wife nodded. "I want that with you. But I know you feel like this is pointless. You think...you think I don't want this. I do. I want you. You made a mistake. But why can't I accept that? Why do I still think that it wasn't just a mistake? Because the Lauren I knew, she wouldn't hurt me like that. Why did you hurt me?"
Lauren scoffed through her own tears. "Do you really think my dumb mistake isn't hurting me too?! I'm losing my wife! Hell, I must've lost my wife a long time ago!" She took Camila's face in her hands. "I love you. I love you so goddamn much. Isn't that as clear as the day?"
The brunette placed her hands over Lauren's and moved them away. "I love you too, Amor...but I don't feel it anymore."
"We could only burn so long, Camz," Lauren whispered. "I don't know what happened for us to reach like this." Camila shook her head but the green eyes she loved so dearly were filled with tears, so she didn't say anything. "I should know by now, you should know by now we should know by now, Amor. Something's gotta give, something's gotta break."
"And you broke me. You broke me beyond repair. I gave you a part of me I never wanted anyone else to have. You took it...but you broke it too. I know I messed up as well and I'm sorry. Something's gotta change, but I know that it won't," Camila tried to fight back her own tears. She hadn't expected to hear herself say these words. "No reasons to stay. So is it a good reason to go?"
To be in love is like jumping off a cliff. You don't know what's going to happen. Besides the possibility of death, but metaphorically speaking, there's a high chance of death if the person isn't going to catch you. You know it's going to hurt like hell, but you jump anyway, without caring. All you care about is that just for that short period, you felt as though you were flying.
"Mama? Mummy?" Izzy's voice caused her parents to look in the direction of the staircase. "Why are you crying? Are you sad that I asked abuelita to take me for ice cream without you?"
Clara descended the stairs behind Izzy and when she saw the looks on her daughter and daughter in law faces, she ushered her grandchild back upstairs and put on a movie for her to watch.
"Now, tell me what's going on?" Clara took a seat opposite to the couple. "Wait don't tell me, you've filed for a divorce. Am I right, Lauren?"
Camila was sitting in a defensive position on the couch a distance off from her wife. Her knees were brought up to her chest, as she wrapped her arms around them. Whilst Lauren sat on the other end of the couch, with her legs tucked under her and her face in her palms. They were always like this, so quick to isolate themselves and not talk about the issue that had been bothering the two of them. So quick to not want to try to work things out.
Her daughter looked a bit taken aback. "How did you know?"
Clara sighed heavily. "It doesn't matter how I found it. Are you stupid, Lauren? Why on earth would you want to do that?" She pointed a finger at her daughter. "Don't you dare answer that! How can you ignore your wife's feelings? Your daughter's? How can you be so selfish?!"
"That's enough mami!" Lauren bit out harshly. She untucked her legs and glared at the woman. "You have no idea what Camila and I have been going through, so don't you dare think I'm selfish!" Her mother looked shocked at her daughter's outburst. "I've have been trying for a goddamn year! A whole fucking year trying to save my marriage! And yet you're here telling me I'm being selfish?! If you think putting my daughter's feelings before mine and trying to protect her from this...from us before we were to get worse, is selfish, then fucking hell, call me selfish." The woman stood up and stooped in front of her mother. "If you think putting Camila's feelings in front of mine, and ending our marriage because for god's sake, I don't want to end this, is selfish, then hell yeah mami, I. Am. Selfish." She punctuated each word.
Clara Jauregui shook her head in disappointment. "What you're doing is stupid. Can't you see the condition of you wife?" She gestured at Camila. Her face was tear stained, and red. The tears were building up again. "How can you do that?"
"What was the reason you left papi?" Lauren asked. "The real reason mami. Because I knew the two of you loved each other dearly, and then one day, it wasn't the same, you didn't look at each other the same way..." the younger Jauregui trailed off.
Clara shook her head. "It doesn't matter, Lauren."
"But it does. He cheated on you didn't he?"
The woman paused before she nodded. "Yes...yes he cheated on me," she laughed sadly. "Many many years ago with the maid. Can you imagine how it must've felt to walk on in and see that?"
Lauren nodded stiffly and looked at her wife. "Why didn't you tell us?"
"How could I tell you that? Tell your sister? Maggie may seem carefree, mija but she can't deal with her father being a cheater. So after many years of trying, we both realised it was time to say good bye to that chapter of our lives. It was better if the both of you believed we parted on a good note. And in a sense we did. We have two beautiful daughters together, the love we shared, well it's no longer there but I don't regret marrying your father. Without him, I wouldn't have had you."
It was the ones you love the most who could lift you in an instant. Fill your head with a possibility of a forever, but they can also destroy you without trying.
"Why did you stay with him when you saw him with the maid?" Camila asked weakly. She wiped at her eyes with her shirt's sleeve.
Clara sighed. "Because I loved him. He wasn't a bad man. He made me happy. He gave me the life I always wanted to live."
"Do you forgive him?" Camila looked at her wife. "For hurting you...do you forgive him?"
Her mother in law smiled sadly and nodded. "I do. Call me stupid, but I do forgive him. As I said, he wasn't a bad man, we all make mistakes. And sometimes we don't think about the consequences of our mistakes, but I do forgive him. It took a lot of time, many tears and I guess, I still have a lot of unshed tears...but I forgave him before I even knew that I did."
"Laur..." Camila's voice was weak. "Please don't leave me." She begged. "Please don't walk away."
Lauren stared at her wife for a moment, she moved away from her mother and sat on the mahogany coffee table. Taking one of her wife's hands in hers, she brought it to her lips and gently kissed it.
"Amor, tú eres mi vida," Camila smiled softly. "But this is better for us. We're going in circles and I'm tired, Camila. You can deny it too, but I know you feel the same way. I know you're just as tired as I am."
The singer shook her head and pulled her hand away from her wife slowly. "I used to think that our relationship would've been perfect because we loved each other. We were so right for each other. I used to think that nothing could've torn us apart, but I was wrong," she stared into Lauren's green, vibrant eyes and smiled. "But no relationship is perfect. No matter how much a couple seems right for each other, there's going to be a lot of hardships, but if someone is willing to make it work, the least the other party should do....is try. I want to try, Laur. One more chance. Please?"
You don't need another human being to make your life complete. But let's be brutally honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn't see them as imperfections or little disasters in your soul, but rather cracks to pour their love into, can feel like the most calming thing in this world.
Clara muttered something about giving them some privacy and going to check up on Izzy.
"I love you, Camila. I have loved you from the moment I saw you in that crowded hall at 7:50 on a Monday morning. You were dressed in your infamous white jeans, black crop top and some high tops. Your eyes were crinkled as you laughed at something funny your old friend Briana was telling you. I didn't hear your laugh because it was too noisy, but I knew then and there, that if I did hear it, it would've been my favourite sound ever." Lauren laughed softly at the memory. "I found myself coming to school everyday at that time just to see you. I never did work up the courage to talk to you until we were partnered up for a Spanish project. That was the first time you spoke to me. I was shocked that you even knew my name. I was a nobody, while you...you were the captain of the cheer leading squad. You were the head of the glee club and if I'm not mistaken, you were also the most beautiful girl to ever walk the halls of Miami High."
Camila smiled. She could remember that very day when she and Lauren started to talk, and the reaction the woman had when she knew her name.
***
*Flashback*
"Miss Jauregui...Miss Cabello. The two of you will be working on the impact of the Latino culture on America," Lauren didn't hear any word after her teacher said Camila's name.
They were going to be partners.
"What sort of sick joke is this?!" Lauren asked herself. She was too lost in her own world to notice the brunette, who had captured her eyes many weeks ago, standing in front of her.
Camila cleared her throat. "Hey, Lauren." She smiled at her.
"She knows my name," the green eyed girl said audibly instead of in her head as she thought.
The cheerleader laughed. "Of course I do silly. We've had classes together since the beginning of the school year. It'll be kind of weird if I didn't know your name right?" She took a seat next to her and pulled out her notebook. "So um...how are you at Spanish?"
Lauren was sitting their in disbelief. The girl who she had been crushing on was talking to her. Breathing the same air as her. And here she was making a fool of herself and no responding to her question.
Way to go, Lauren.
"Lauren?"
The girl blinked. "Oh right. I um..I'm Venezuelan actually. I wasn't born there but you know, my grandparents were. So I'm pretty good at it. I think you're Cuban right?"
Camila shook her head 'no'. "I'm Argentinian actually. I was born and I grew up there. Then I moved to America when I was 5. Legally that is. Don't go reporting me, I'm not about to be thrown over the border."
When she giggled and when Lauren heard that heavenly sound, she felt her heart practically leap out of her chest.
"You have a cute laugh," Lauren blushed when she realised what she had said. Why couldn't she control her own thoughts?
The cheerleader smiled shyly. "Thank you. I hate my laugh actually. It's pretty annoying. But before you say anything else, let's figure out what we're doing on this project okay?"
The duo had spent a lot of time together because of this project. Their friendship grew and so did Lauren's popularity but she never focused too much on it. She had a couple of friends and she couldn't care about the others, who wanted to be her friends because she knew Camila.
After a few months, Camila finally asked Lauren out, it wasn't because she didn't want to, she just wanted the girl to become comfortable with her. Their relationship only blossomed from there, until finally they got married when they were done with university.
*End of flashback*
***
"Camz...I think what we need is some time away from each other," Camila was about to protest, but Lauren silenced her with a finger to her lips. "Let's see how that goes first before we go through with the divorce. I'll contact Normani and I'll tell her to hold off on the divorce papers until I contact her again."
Camila took a few minutes to weigh the pros and cons of this agreement. Pros would be that, with Lauren not there, she'll be able to figure out what she wants. Cons, Lauren wouldn't be there.
"What about Izzy?"
"I'll ask my mom to take care of her. Unless you want Sinu to babysit her?" She shrugged. "I think we should let my mom take care of her."
Her wife nodded. "Okay..." There was a tense silence between the couple. "Where are you going to stay?"
Lauren kinked an eyebrow. "What makes you think I'll be the one going?"
"I uh well I um..." Camila stuttered trying to collect her words. "I just assumed."
Lauren smiled and gave her wife's knee a squeeze. "I'm actually thinking about heading to Paris for a bit with Maggie for Fashion Week. She'll be modelling," her wife nodded. "Are you going to stay here?"
Camila shrugged. "I'm not sure. I'll see what I'll do as time goes by. I'll probably go on a road trip with Dinah." Lauren nodded in agreement. "When will we know when it's time to come back together?"
"We'll know. I promise. We're going to find our way back to each other."
***
Don't lose any faith in me just yet. Also, Dr Briggs isn't cancelled, it's just a minor set back.
Hope y'all enjoyed the chapter.
PS. If you receive notifications saying I updated and it's the same chapter, I'm editing it. So like...chillll. Or else I'll take even longer to update 🤗 Gracias.