It's been about a month since Luke came back to school and it's been horrible. He's been skipping class almost every day and his grades are at an all time low. Even when he comes to class, he only comes to see me. School was not a good idea, it's only made him angrier, sadder, and a lot more stressed.
The problem is that his mom can't do anything about it because Luke won't tell her what's wrong. About the bullying and the stress that it's putting on him. He hasn't even been home apparently; he's told me he goes out at night because he can't stand all of the questions his mom asks him. When he talks to me about being strong and that the kids don't bother him, he sounds so confident about what he's saying. But I know that he's just as scared as I am.
"Luke.." I started, as I got into his car.
Since Luke didn't go to school, he liked to pick me up considering he didn't have anything better to do.
"If you're going to ask me to come back to school, no." He snapped.
I stayed silent and played with my fingers out of nervousness. Luke's been so angry recently and it's actually starting to scare me.
"We're going to be seniors next year.. I just don't think it's smart-"
"Jasmin, don't tell me what's smart and what's not. I know what I'm fuckin' doing." He said, harshly.
Finally, he pulled up to my house and I quickly got out of the car and slammed the door. He was being such an ass lately, and I was only trying to help!
I slammed down my backpack on the floor and felt my phone buzz in my pocket.
LUKE; [ why'd you storm off? ]
I sighed and sat down on my bed, phone in hand.
ME; [ why have you been so mean to me lately? ]
I put the phone down only to hear it buzz a few seconds later.
LUKE; [ what?! i haven't! ]
ME; [ yes you have! i'm so sick of it luke ]
Technically, this was Luke and I's first fight. And I hated every aspect of it. I hated that we were fighting, I hated that it was over text, I hated that it was because he was being a dick. I hate it.
LUKE; [ well if you're so sick of it why don't you just leave me ]
My heart sank in my chest and I sighed. He knows I wouldn't leave him over something so petty like this. He's just being stubborn.
ME; [ i'm not going to leave you ]
It took a while for his reply, and I started to get worried. An hour passed and it was now 4:30. What if he leaves me because I'm complaining?
LUKE; [ i'm coming over ]
ME; [ wait wHAT ]
I threw my phone on my bed and started to clean up, and right when I finished I heard the sound of someone coming up the ladder on the side of my window. Before I knew it, I saw Luke on the outside of my window asking to come in. I walked over and slid open the window.
"We need to talk." He said.
Something changed in him. I can tell, he wasn't being forceful. I could see fear, and hurt in his eyes.
"What happened?" I asked, leading him over to my bed.
He sat down and I sat down right next to him. He looked at me in the eyes for a split second and then down to his hands.
"You know I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt you, right?" He said, slowly.
"Yeah, I know." I lied.
He hurt me earlier today with his words, but I didn't want to spark another fight. It's pointless.
He looked very concentrated for a long time, and then out of no where, he put one hand on the back of my neck and one on my waist and kissed me. We fell back on my bed and I have no idea how long we were kissing for, but once he pulled away, he looked at me in the eyes and said that he loved me.
"I love you too." I smiled.
He smiled his beautiful smile and I smiled in return. I missed his smile.
"So, I have something for you." He said, voice slightly shaky.
I watched him pull out a letter from his back pocket. He handed it to me and I started to open it, but he quickly grabbed my hands and prevented me from opening it.
"Open it at exactly midnight, okay?" He asked.
I nodded and kissed him again.
"Why?" I asked, lips still on his.
He pulled away and looked at me straight in the eyes.
"Just do it." He grinned.
I smiled and nodded, and that's when Luke started to get up from my bed.
"Shit, it's already 6. I gotta get home." He explained.
That was weird, he hasn't wanted to be home for almost a month now.
"Okay, I'll see you later?" I asked.
He looked down at the floor and then back to me in a split second.
"I love you." He said, squeezing out of my window and onto the ladder.
I found it weird that he didn't answer my request to see him later, but it didn't bother me enough to ask about it.
》》》》》
I finished dinner quickly and ran back upstairs. It was already 8 at night.
All I could think about was Luke's letter that was sitting on my desk, just waiting to be opened.
I respected his request to not open it until midnight, up until about 11:15. I just couldn't wait any longer, plus it was a Friday and maybe once I read it, Luke and I could hang out after.
I unfolded the piece of crinkled binder paper and started to read.
Jas,
I love you so much. You know that, I think everyone knows that.
That's why I need to leave.
You need to live your life to the fullest and with me around, you can't do that. This isn't your fault. This isn't anyone's fault.
I hope you know how much you've helped me and how much I love you for it. I was hopeless, but somehow, I found the solution to my depression. You're my cure, Jasmin. And you always will be.
I love you so much. More than I can ever say.
Luke
This is a suicide note.
My eyes stung and I hadn't realized I was crying. My mom came into my room shortly after hearing my loud cries, asking me what's wrong and why I was crying. I just handed her the note, and with that, she grabbed my wrist and tugged me out of my room.
Everything was happening in slow motion. My mom shoved me into the passenger seat of her car and she got into the drivers seat. I didn't even know what was happening, I was still hysterically crying. My mom didn't speak to me as she drove to wherever she was driving to.
The car stopped after a while and my mom rushed out of the car. I wiped my eyes so that I could see the time, and it was 11:30. Maybe he hasn't done it yet.
I found the strength to get out of the car myself and notice that we were at Luke's house. My mom was already frantically knocking on the door when I reached the porch. Luke's mom, Liz, opened up the door and had a very surprised look on her face.
"Where is Luke?" My mom demanded.
"Out, I have no idea-"
My mom rushed back to the car and I did the same. I finally started to stop crying and focus, because there's a possibility that Luke isn't dead yet.
Somehow, my mom knew exactly where to go. It was the timing that was off.
We were at the closest bridge near our town, and when we pulled up, we saw a tall, lanky looking figure on the edge of the bridge, looking down. It was definitely Luke. My mom tried to get out of the car fast enough, but I looked at the clock of the car at the same time Luke looked at his wrist watch. It was midnight.
My mom and I watched Luke jump right off the bridge, and I don't think I've ever been so compelled to follow him in my life.
Everything became a blur after that. I couldn't stop crying and at some points, I couldn't breathe. My mom was crying too, I could hear her. I could also hear sirens coming from behind us and realized that my mom had called the paramedics earlier. There was a helicopter in the air and the police came as well.
It wasn't until 12:30 that I saw one of the paramedics pull out a soaked body from the body of water below.
》》》
harsh chapter, holy crap.
sorry for not updating last friday!