I don't know what the feeling was—actually, I do know what it was. That feeling, it has caused me to be different, act different. Jungkook hasn't noticed but I have. It's hard to be around him without wanting him. When he looks at me I have the urge to reach out and touch him. When he talks to me I just want to listen to the sound of his voice all day. When he laughs with me, I want to hear that melodic sound again. When he smiles I want to see that smile again.
I know what it is, but I can't admit it.
I want to confessor him, seeing it's already been about a month since my break up, but I'm simply to scared to do so.
I think he might like me back, because even he has been acting a bit differently towards me since the fair we went to together, but I don't want to take my chances. It might just be my delusion, and he might not like me at all.
I am perplexed. I don't know what to do.
All I can do is sigh.
Girl problems.
I walk outside the school.
It's pretty late, I just came from the library. I was so caught up in reading I only realized the time when the librarian told me to leave. That's why I'm leaving the school so late. It's about 6pm (18:00 I think) and it's thankfully not that dark. They sky is painted with pastel colours, a bright sky blue fading into a beautiful sunset orange that is over taking the sky, contrasting well with the yellow sun peeking over the hills, getting smaller and smaller as it sets. All of that beauty was covered by grey clouds, making it look darker than it should at this time of day.
I had texted Daniel and Maven from before that I was in the library and that I would call them when I wanted them to pick me up, but now, my phone was dead I I couldn't call them.
The school office was closed as well, and so I couldn't use the school phone. And there was no one else I could ask to borrow their phone.
I continued to walk on the school property, about to trek on my journey home—which, if you recall from almost half a year ago during the summer, was a very long journey of 4 miles. Not to mention it was scorching hot then, and now it's freezing cold. And the idiot that I am didn't come to school prepared. I came to school thinking I wouldn't be outside too much, and I wore a hoodie with wool gloves and a hat. It seems like I dressed well but wearing just a hoodie, gloves and hat in negative degrees weather is not really what I would say is smart (negative degrees as in Celsius, not Fahrenheit). On top of that I was wearing leggings so basically I was freezing to death.
As I continue to walk I already know that I'm definitely getting a fever. I already have a weak immune system, making me disease prone. In other words: I catch viruses very easily and get sick easily.
I shiver in the cold and clutch my bag straps tighter.
Thankfully it's not snowing because that would be the end of me. It very windy, but no snow.
...
Well...
I just jinxed myself.
Damn my big mouth.
You have already guessed it. It's snowing. It's not just your ordinary flurries, it's raging winter. Huge flaky snow flakes don't fall from the sky, they swirl in the wind violently. In a matter of minutes my black hoodie is white, covered in snow.
By the time I get home I literally look like I have a white face, white hair, and white clothes, all because of the white snow. I reach home shivering and shaking like an idiot, the cold making my nose red, more red than Rudolph.
He's probably jealous of my nose.
But still, my cheeks were red and so were my ears. I probably had frostbite or hyperthermia.
My hands frozen and numb from the cold fiddle with my keys as I try and open the door. Successfully doing so five minutes later, cause of me to stand in the cold longer than I wanted. As I enter the house I can already feel the beautiful warmth embracing me, but not yet enough. I crave more of the warmth. Although I am in complete bliss as I close the door, finally in my warm house, my head pounds, the headache coming. Sign one of a brain fever, what I like to call it. I already know what's next. Once my body heat adjusts to the temperature I side my house and goes back from ice to normal, my body temperature will rise and next thing I know it I'm burning hot with a freaking fever.
Damn human bodies and how weak we are. Why do we always get sick?
Too tired to even walk up to my room, I simply drop my bag on the ground and walk through my house. It is no surprise when I see him standing there, after all, he is almost always in my house. But even then, when I see him I freak.
"Ahh!" I shout as I go stumbling back, started. My feet take me backwards until my back hits the wall. Hard.
All he does is laugh and approach me. "Sorry, did I scare you?"
He stands so close to me I have to lean back so I'm not awkwardly looking up at him, only the wall behind me doesn't allow me to move back. "I'm fine, I'm fine."
Jungkook smiles his bunny smile grabs my hands I had in front of me. As his skin meets mine he immediately frowns but doesn't let go. With the same frown he caresses my hand in his and looks down at them. By now our body's are so close, almost chest to chest. "Why are you cold?"
"I came from outside," I answer as I gently tige my hand away, unsuccessfully getting it out of his grip.
"But you shouldn't be this cold." Jungkook looks right into my eyes.
I just shrug.
"Who dropped you off. Maven told me you were at the library but he never texted me you were coming back," he says.
"I walked."
Jungkook's eyes widen. "Our in that weather?!" He looks out the window on the far end of the wall. "It's like a snow storm!" He then pulls me I to a tight hug, warming me still cold and stiff body. I melt at his touch, allowing my body to lean of his as he holds me in his strong arms. "You could have gotten sick! You might even be sick now!" He pulls away and puts his hand to my forehead. "Do you have a fever?"
I attempt to push Jungkook away from me but fail to do so, simply because of my weak noodle arms and because I am reluctant to do so. I want to remain this close to him. Not only are his hugs warm and comforting but I can't help but crave his gentle touch. My whole crush on him seems to be taking over, clouding my judgement. He's my friend—I can't just hold him in my arms or have him hold me in his all day. That's not what friends do.
"I'm fine. Really." I try and side step Jungkook, only to have him grab my wrist and pulls me back into his hard chest. My cheeks starts to heat up with out close proximity.
"No, your going to rest. I won't let you get sick," Jungkook says.
He then crouches a bit and puts a muscular arm under my legs and one around my waist. He then sweeps me off me feet with out a warning and picks me up. Startled, I immediately grip his shirt, slightly confused as to what is going on.
"Jungkook!" I shout his name as he carries me up the stairs to my room. "Jungkook, put me down!"
"You want me to drop you?" He asks innocently, but I can see a small smirk forming on his lips.
Why is he smirking?
"Yes! Put me down!" I hit his chest.
"Okay." He shrugs.
"Wait—Jungkook!" I scream his name as he is about to drop he down the stairs. "I swear if you let go of me I'm gonna kill you."
Jungkook, still smirking, holds me closer to him as I wrap my arms around his neck—reluctantly though. "Whatever you say my queen," he says, making my heart flutter with the nickname.
I like Shortie better. At least then when he says it my heart isn't beating like a drum.
He takes me up to my room and carefully places me on my bed. Taking the blanket and tucking me in, treating me like I'm the most fragile thing in the world, as if I'm glass. As if he cares for me so much.
He does.
He does care for me that much.
But.
He doesn't like me the way I like him.
He doesn't want to care for me the way I want to care for him.
Friends.
We're just friends.
Chapter Twenty-Eight of:
LOVE