Sha’riah
It’s been a full week, I've been staying at Kamillah's house and borrowing some of her clothes whenever mine ran out. Her mum was fine with this, she was really supportive and understanding, which I appreciated. No-one actually knows that I was back in London apart from Kam and her mum. I've been keeping in touch with Tanisha, who had told Francis that I was staying over at a friend’s house because I needed to adjust, which wasn’t even a lie. That’s exactly what I was doing. I really am staying at a friend’s to adjust... just not in Liverpool.
I've been going to see Marcus every day at the hospital ever since, and he still hadn’t made much progress. It was actually beginning to worry me. The doctors claim that he seemed to be getting better, but I don’t see that... or maybe its just me? I was currently relaxing on Kam’s bed, peering up at the ceiling and thinking deeply. If Marcus actually does come around, what could I even say? Would he happy, upset, angry? I sighed deeply and carried on thinking until Kamillah entered the room drinking Ribena from her favourite glass. She threw an ironed t-shirt in my direction. It landed on my face and she laughed.
"You owe me; I washed and ironed that for you." She announced. I brought the shirt away from my face and smiled weakly in appreciation.
"Thanks," I mumbled. She sat at the edge of the bed and watched me silently.
"You’re thinking about him again aren’t you?" She questioned. I nodded. She stood back up and went to her wardrobe then pulled out her New Look jacket. "Well I’m going to see him now with Tyrone, you coming?" I shook my head. For once, I just wanted my own company. I knew Marcus would still be unconscious, so there was no actual point.
"You lot go ahead. I’m staying here,” I replied.
"You sure?" I nodded once and she sighed. “Alright. I'll be back soon yeah?"
"Mmhm." She waved and left the room after a few minutes. I sighed and sat up. Now I was bored. I could never win either way. I was now alone since Kam had left and her mum was at work. I got up and went across to the kitchen to retrieve yoghurt from the fridge, then relaxed in the living-room. I guess it was me, myself and I then. Just as I turned the Sky box on my phone rang. I smiled slightly at Tanisha’s flashing name before answering.
"Yo," I greeted.
"Oi, what’s good?" She yelled down the phone, she was so loud.
"Nothing, just jammin’. What you doing?”
"Going shop for dad. He keeps asking me when you will come back." I rolled my eyes; he needed to get off my back. I understand he was worried, but I can look after myself. Plus, I had no choice but to leave.
"I ain’t going anywhere until Marcus is awake." I stated. She sighed.
"To be honest with you Riah, from what it sounds like, he might... he might not even wake u-"
"Shut up Tanisha. Don’t even say it.” I snapped instantly. Before she had the chance to reply I tutted angrily and locked off. Fuck sake, am i the only one that has any faith? Of course he'll wake up, this is Marcus we're talking about. My phone rang again. I kissed my teeth long and loud before answering again.
"Tanisha fuck off, I swear!" I shouted angrily.
"Riah it’s me," a familiar voice came. My face softened and I breathed deeply.
"Sorry Kam.” She laughed.
"Look, I’m at the hospital and something’s happened with Marcus," my eyes widened and I swallowed hard as the words struck me.
"What is it?"
"He's awake!" She screeched down the phone. I immediately jumped up.
"Swear down?"
"Get down here, what you waiting for?!” My smile widened into an all-knowing grin. I was in shock.
"Alright,” I locked off and immediately got my Nike trainers and jacket on. I grabbed my oyster and the spare keys that were cut for me before hastily leaving through the front door and slamming it behind me.
YES, HE’S AWAKE
I beamed down the road merrily. The warm summer breeze brushed my face as I jogged to the bus stop and boarded the bus that was already there luckily enough. I sat there peering out the window with the biggest smile on my face. He’s awake nigga’s! I then retrieved my phone and texted Tanisha.
He’s awake now.
You were sayin?
I pressed send and laughed to myself. I knew having faith would pay off. God wasn’t harsh on him after-all. I just couldn’t wait to see him. I tapped my foot impatiently as I got nearer and nearer to the hospital. Eventually I got off and I hastily clambered off and sped-walked to the hospital. I accidentally brushed passed a few people along the way. Okay, not brushed – I barged. I was so glad that I didn’t even give 2 shits. I got into the hospital and ran passed the reception. I already knew where it was, I didn’t wanna waste any time. As I got there, I saw almost everyone stood outside the ward chatting amongst themselves. I advanced towards them, causing them to all turn to me and smile. All the girls were here; Kamillah, Stephany, Michelle and Kyra.
"Sha'riah!" They all bellowed in unison. They all hugged me at the same time and I laughed. I had missed these lot, last time I saw them, we had argued at school. I had put that behind me now, and it was evident that they did aswell.
“How’ve you been? I had no idea you was back.” Kyra said astonished. I shrugged.
“It hasn’t been too long. I missed London though,” I said truthfully. Stephany smiled. “Who’s in there?" I questioned, pointing to the closed door.
"All the mandem," Michelle said as she rolled her eyes. I kissed my teeth, figures.
"Did you lot already see him?" They all nodded.
"When they come back out, we're leaving," Kyra informed. I nodded slowly. "How was Liverpool though?" She questioned.
"Shit. I’m never going back." I replied blankly. They all laughed like I was joking. I shrugged and took a seat by the water dispenser. The adrenaline rush had gone since I haven’t had the chance to see Marcus yet, now I was growing impatient. It was still good to see these lot again though. "How've you lot been?" I questioned. Michelle shrugged.
“Cool, but school's dead." She explained.
"And there’s some new girl in our form called Apnaa or some shit like that, she's been starting fights with the wrong people," I raised an eyebrow at Stephany.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"She’s already had a fight with half the girls in our year." Kyra added.
“She has anger management issues that’s why.” Kam pointed out.
“Don’t blame her. If I had that name I’d be vex too,” we all laughed at Stephany.
"Last week her and Michelle had a fight and she got knocked the fuck out!" Kyra started laughing as Michelle screwed.
“She thought she was bad though. Bitch.” I started creasing at her facial expression. This is what I missed; having jokes with my bredrins. But i was beginning to grow even more impatient. Not being rude, but I didn’t come all the way down here for these lot, I came for Marcus. Just then the door opened, and all the mandem came out; Michael, Tyrone, Marik, Lewis, even Bent-Foot-Robert foot that had kicked the ball over the fence that time. They all noticed I was sat there and their eyes widened.
"Oh shit, Sha'riah is that you?" Michael asked astonished. Judging by everyone’s reaction today, I must’ve changed a lot – I guess Kamillah was right. I just didn’t know if this was a good or bad thing. I stood up and smiled as they all approached. Michael came closer and gave me a warm hug. "I've missed you man," He said.
“Me too,” I soon left his embrace and he peered at me closely.
“Your body ain’t changed one bit.” He smirked and I slapped his arm lightly.
“Ahh fuck off Mike.” He laughed and I greeted everyone else. I looked towards Marcus' door to see it was closed once again.
"You can go in there you know, he's watching TV," Marik informed, realising my expression. I nodded and swallowed hard.
"We're going now," Kyra said softly. I smiled and turned to them all who were now stood up.
"Bye you lot." They all said their goodbyes, even Kamillah, who told me she would see me back at the house. I nodded once more and they all eventually left. I turned back to the closed door and gulped. This is it, I’m going to see Marcus again after nearly 2/3 months. After all this waiting, I can finally see him healthy and well again. I took a deep breath and put my sweaty palm on the handle of the door, then opened it slowly…only to be interrupted by a nurse who was passing by.
"Make sure you keep your voice down honey, he's not fully recovered and may still need testing," she warned. I nodded and she smiled then walked off. Without further hesitation I pushed the door open. He was laying there with his eyes lightly closed, breathing moderately. The light from the TV blared as his eyes remained shut. Everything seemed extremely peaceful; including the monitor beside the bed that bleeped in intervals, which was a good sign. I smiled weakly and couldn’t help the excitement that was brewing within me. Just to know that he was alive and well was good enough for me. I approached his bed slowly; he looked so cute when he was asleep. I quietly shut the door behind me. His eyes suddenly opened and he turned to me, his eyes widened immediately.
"Sha'riah?" He asked in a tired, raspy voice. My smile grew; I nodded as the tears began to well up. He then tried to sit up as he watched me in mild shock.
"No, don’t move, it’s okay," I muttered, my voice breaking. I smiled and sat on the chair beside his bed. I gave him a hug and felt like never letting go, but on the other hand I didn’t wanna crush him so I quickly sprang back when I heard him cough. “Don’t scare me like that,” I muttered. He chuckled and smirked.
"Sorry," he croaked. I stayed in my seat unsure of what to do. My tears begun to stain my face as I stared at him in amazement. He really was a fine work of art even though he just woke up after God knows how long. "When did you get back?" He questioned.
"Last week, I came soon as I heard straight away."
"Oh yeah.” He nodded knowingly, I raised an eyebrow.
"Did someone tell you I was here or something?"
"Nah," he replied quietly picking up the controller for the TV screen. As he flicked through channels I became suspicious.
"So how did you know?" I asked.
"Nothin’, don’t worry," I kissed my teeth playfully and he laughed but it turned into a cough so I patted his back, until he moved away.
"What's wrong?" I asked baffled.
"I fucking hate being here. The mattress is uncomfortable and the nurses try feed me shit that they call food. There’s no girls or nothin’, I’m horny and bored." He said all this through gritted teeth "And you don’t need to pat my back, I’m fine,” he stated more calmly. "Just makes me feel like I’m fragile and can’t do nothing for myself." He finished with a sigh. I nodded; I completely understood how he felt. This made me realise just exactly how stressed he was by all this. I then thought real hard and plucked up the courage to ask.
"What happened to you?" His jaw clenched as well as his fists. Ah here we go.
"That fucking prick Katrina," he mumbled under his breath, "it's all her fault." My eyes widened as he said this. Can’t say I’m too surprised... but Katrina again? Wagwaan for this chick? It’s like she can never leave him alone, I wonder how big she’s gotten now...she must look like Kung Fu Panda with that Buddha belly. He told me everything that happened and I remained silent the whole time. Trust Marcus to get into a situation like this, he really was unlucky. I stroked his soft hair and told him to calm down. "I’m calm Riah, for now. But when I leave this shit hole and catch her, shit will end. Fucking messed up snaky bitch." He spat angrily.
“What happened to calm?” He looked at me and smiled weakly.
“Yeah, I am. How was Liverpool?" He asked changing the subject, which was for the best. I simply shrugged in response. Last thing I wanted to do was go into all the fucked up drama.
"It was so dead. I couldn’t take being away from you." I admitted. He held my hand and stroked it whilst grinning in that stupid cocky way he always did. I couldn’t help but laugh. We carried on talking until the nurse came in to give him his hospital food. He screwed up his face as she nurse placed the tray of food on the table. His face was comical! He seriously despised hospital food with a passion. Once the nurse left he kissed his teeth and put the tray to the side. I started creasing. "Aren’t you gonna eat that?" I questioned still laughing, he gave me a look and I patted his head in pity. Needless to say the food did look like shit. I remember being in hospital myself when my appendix burst. The food lacked flavour, it was just bland, so I feel his pain. He joined in with my laughter and soon we were laughing at nonsense. I calmed down and sighed deeply. "I’m so glad you’re okay. I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t make it," I stated shyly. I had already lost Shawn, I couldn’t lose him too. With my hand still in his, he rubbed it gently with a sincere smile on his face.
"The important thing is I’m here now init, we can start fresh," I nodded in agreement. "And look yeah..." he cleared his throat, "I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a long time. It was never the right time but if I don’t do it now it’s gonna jar me." My heart rate began to quicken and my breathing increased as he carried on. "I heard what you said, everything...I love you too." I froze, completely stunned. That whole speech I had made last week, he heard. He heard it all. I blushed in embarrassment and he chuckled after giving me an all-knowing look. I missed his laugh so much, so deep, just like his voice. I missed everything about him, just being with him in general.
"After all these years you choose to be shy now?” He smirked.
“Kinda caught my off guard.” I muttered turning away. He was right; we’ve been friends for over six years now. I knew him inside-out and vice versa, I shouldn’t even be shy. But then again, this is the first time we’ve had this kinda conversation. The atmosphere became more tense than usual; I felt weird around him now because we were on this particular subject, I didn't really know what to say next. Silence continued to surround us as I began to feel even more uncomfortable. His eyes alone hypnotized me, so I refused to look directly at them.
"Sha'riah. I love you, alot. Even more than I should. I’ve never felt this way about a girl before, it’s scary. Even though we’re friends I’ve wanted to be much more than that for a long time, but something would always come up. When you spoke to me last week I was relieved, just knowing that you feel the same. Now I’m a prick in love, so you have to help me out here.” I laughed gently.
“I’ll help you with whatever you want,” I smiled.
“Then you have to be mine, Sha’riah Emily Brooks.” The butterflies in my stomach formed.
“That can be arranged, Marcus Anthony Weller.” I whispered. He pulled me closer and kissed me gently on the lips. Ahh God, this was actually happening. I better not be dreaming, God has fucked me over long enough. Once our lips detached he licked his own and smiled.
“That was easier than I thought.” I grinned.
“I’ll be back,” he nodded and told me to hurry. I quickly left the room and found the ladies toilets. I was so excited; my heart just wouldn’t stop beating. I finished and washed my hands, grinning hard at the mirror. If anyone else were in here they’d think I was a mental health patient.
YESSSSSSS.
I breathed deeply, dried my hands, then left the room. Everything was going perfect so far, I haven’t been this happy in a long while. As I exited I bumped into someone’s chest and peered at them.
“Sorry,” I said, then proceeded to walk off till they held onto my wrist. I turned back to see a familiar face. I scrutinized him for a second, not really knowing where I had seen him before.
“Wait, do I know you from somewhere?” He asked. After some scoping I finally clocked on. His smile had triggered my memory. It was the same boy from the train that I had seen on my way back from the toilet.
“From the train?” I questioned to confirm. He nodded and released my wrist.
“I’m Tremaine.” He informed. I tilted my head to the left then stared some more. Now that I look at him properly, he resembled Trey Songz. What are the odds of all this?
“Sha’riah.” I replied with a friendly smile.
“Nice name,” I thanked him, ”aye do you know where ward 3B is? Been looking everywhere.” That was Marcus’ room…
“Yeah I was just heading back there…you know Marcus?”
"Yeah, we’re cousins.” My mouth gaped open. Seriously, what are the odds? This was getting weird now. I shivered at what had just been uncovered. Come to think of it, they looked alike. This was insane.
“Wow,” was all I could say. He laughed and I led him back to the room. “So where you coming from?” I asked curiously.
“My grandma’s yard. Went to visit her for a couple weeks. Heard about Marcus so I came down. What about you?”
“I live here, but I was at my dad’s for awhile. I rushed down here myself when I heard about Marcus.” He laughed lightly.
“He better appreciate us.” I nodded.
“Definitely." We eventually got to his ward. I told him to go inside and that I will wait outside. I had already spent time with Marcus; I guess it was family time. He never once told me about Tremaine though, shocked was an understatement. Marcus and I have been through a lot though. I knew that us moving onto the next step was the right thing to do, it just seemed natural. I sat back with a magazine and began to reminisce about us when we were younger, when we first met in year 3. I remembered like it was yesterday.
—Flashback—
"I heard there's a new boy in our class," Caroline said as we left the class and went into the school playground. It was really hot today, almost everyone was outside, but usually people stayed in the hall to sit around and play board games. Not today though! It was lunch time and I was hungry, Mami never done my packed lunch this time but school dinners are too yucky.
“Have you seen him?” Shanice asked.
“Nope, but he started today.” I shrugged and looked around. The whole playground was full of really loud children. Most of them were on the climbing frame or play-fighting by the trees.
"Can we go into the lunch hall. I’m starving!" Caroline complained.
"I wanna go on the slide quickly!" I said all excited. Me and Katria would always go on the slide together, but she wasn’t even in today. I ran over to the climbing frame with the attached slide to find other children lining up to get on before me. I rolled my eyes and waited patiently. I saw Tanisha slide down from the climbing frame and smile at me cos she had a go and I was still waiting. I stuck my tongue out at her and she ran off with her friends. It was my turn to slide down. I clapped happily and sat down at the top and braced myself. This was gonna be so fun!
"Hurry up!" Anthony shouted, nudging my back.
“Don’t touch me, you have lurgies,” I said looking at him. He made me sick. I waited forever for this slide; I should be allowed to take my time. He started pushing me.
"Just go man!" He shouted again. He pushed really hard and I was losing my balance. This stupid boy! He pushed me again, causing me to slide down quickly and scrape my knee on the landing. Ouch! Caroline and Shanice ran up to me and asked me if I was okay, I said no so they quickly went to get a teacher. I sat up and looked at my knee, it was bleeding and everything! It hurt so much I started to cry. Anthony didn’t even care, he started laughing with his friends and hogged the whole slide. I tried to stand up but the pain in my knee was so bad, so I was doomed. I felt a pair of hands hold me up and bring me to a nearby bench. I looked up to see a boy that I've never seen before, with long cainrows and a weird looking smile. He was really strong to carry me like that!
"I saw what he did to you, that wasn’t very nice." The boy said. I sniffed and wiped my cheek with the back of my hand.
"T-Thanks."
"Be right back," he ran off and I looked at my knee. Dirt from the ground was getting into my cut, making it sting more. I tried to touch it but the pain was really bad! The boy then came back with a wet tissue in one hand and a big plaster in the other. "Here," he gave me the tissue I touched the cut gently and it helped. He put the plaster on the cut and smiled in that weird way, it was all crooked. I stopped crying and smiled at him.
“Mum said kissing a cut makes it better.” I said. He gave me a look.
“I don’t kiss knees,” he said. I laughed and sniffed again. He sat next to me on the bench and just looked at me silently. "I’m Marcus," he said. This must be the new boy Caroline was talking about!
"I’m Sha'riah," I smiled and he looked at my knee.
"Is it better now?" He asked. I nodded and he got out his Spiderman lunch box and opened it. “I think the lunch hall is closed," he said and got out his sandwich. I frowned, I was so hungry too. He handed over one sandwich whilst he bit into the other. "Want some?" He asked. I looked at it, “peanut butter,” he said with a smile. I smiled back and took hold of it, taking a really big bite.
"Thanks.”
"It’s okay," he said. We sat there eating and talking for the rest of lunch time. I liked him...
I smiled as I thought about that day. Marcus was always a nice, caring, loving person from day one. He deserved nothing but the best. Not that he was particularly an angel, but he meant well. I was just glad that I got all that love stuff off my chest, and he was able to aswell. Eventually Tremaine exited the room and gave me a warm smile. I stood up from the chair.
“He wants to see you,” he informed.
“Alright. Are you going?”
“Yeah, gonna see my mum and that. Later yeah?” I gave him a brief hug.
“See you around,” I said. We soon departed and he disappeared around the corner. I entered the room once again to see him sat up looking at the wound in his chest. I sat back in the chair and peered at the wound. He looked at me but I continued staring at the sore wound. I reached forward and stroked the scar softly. He sighed and breathed heavily. “Does that hurt?” I whispered, still stroking.
“Nah, it’s fine.” He answered. I stopped and sighed.
“I hope this is the last time I see you in a hospital.” I said sternly. This certainly weren’t the first time.
“Me too.” He muttered. His expression softened as he watched my face closer. “I’m happy now though,” he declared.
“Really, why?”
“You’re here, and you’re finally mine.” I felt my cheeks flush red. I covered my face embarrassed once again.
“Marcus man, you have to stop doing that.” He laughed at my reaction and I looked at him.
“I really wanna give this a try though,” he said.
“Definitely.” He gently pulled me forward by my arm so I was beside him on the bed. I rested my head on his shoulder and he kissed my forehead.
“We’re gonna start afresh, give it a go.” He announced.
“Yeah, now I can kiss you without feeling guilty.” We both laughed and he lifted my face up by my chin with his forefinger.
“Like now,” he hinted, breathing lightly on my lips. I giggled and pecked him on the lips, to which he responded and kissed my fully. We were stuck there in the moment, kissing on the hospital bed with such passion like our lives depended on it. My heart went insane from all the affection and we eventually stopped. I looked away shyly and he laughed at me as usual. For the rest of the time I was there, we spoke and laughed about old times. I was so happy; nothing could ruin my mood after this day now.
Absolutely nothing!