Yo,
So this update has a series of scenes from KINGDOM. The first scene is when Angie gives birth to the twins (I never wrote this in KINGDOM). The second scene is where Harry takes care of his children while Angie suffers from a lengthy depression.
After this update, I will write two more scenes in Harry's POV, then I'll do an update about Tony and Becky, and finally, one update in Danny's POV. And then that's it, I won't be writing another word about my KNIGHT characters. It's a bittersweet feeling to let go of these guys, but I'm ready and I've got a very interesting new story coming up called CULT.
Anyway, I've received many messages and comments asking me to write specific scenes. I don't want to drag out these extra updates for too long so I will only write one more scene in Harry's POV.
The next update will be about Lux tutoring Darcy and Harry recognizing her. The final update will be the chapter in KINGDOM when Harry retires and his kids and grand kids come to visit. And that night, he dies of a heart attack. The scene will be very short. A few of you guys have asked me to write the scene in CASTLE when Gabby tries to steal Harry from Angie, but I'm not really feeling Gabby. She was way too annoying lol.
Thanks for the continued support!
-Mariam A. Xx
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My come was like fertilizer. Either that or Angie was a tropical forest and the moment I touched her, a flower would grow. I was 26 years old and just became a father of three. Clearly, I had never heard of contraceptives. Even so, I had always felt that contraceptives were for teenagers and college kids that wanted to have a little fun while being safe. But I was married and have always wanted a big family and now I had one.
Angie was laying on the hospital bed, taking slow breaths as the nurse cleaned up our twin boys. I stood beside her, holding Darcy in my arms. Becky insisted on being in the delivery room in case I passed out. I have never passed out in front of Angela and I didn't plan on it, even though I was sick to my stomach but also choking with tears at the sight of my twin sons.
Darcy stared up at me with her vivacious green eyes. She batted her lashes.
"Daddy?" she asked softly. I smiled down at her.
"Yes baby?"
"Daddy am I a big sister now?" she asked slowly. She patted my cheeks gently with her tiny hands, encouraging me to answer her. I nodded, unable to help contain the wide grin etching onto my face.
Darcy hugged my neck tightly. I kissed her cheeks and she hopped around in my arms until I set her down. She ran to Angie and stared at her, placing her hand over Angela's.
"Momma you are not fat anymore," she smiled, patting gently at Angie's much flatter stomach. Angie laughed. The comment was probably intended to sound nice, but it didn't come off that way and Angie scooped Darcy up to kiss her.
"That's because I don't have two big baby boys inside me anymore," she grinned, tucking Darcy's curl behind her ear. I knelt down by Angela's bed and kissed her softly. The energy from her body was completely drained, but she managed to kiss me as passionately as ever before, her lips pressing to mine. I took her hand and kissed her ring.
Screams pierced our ears. The two nurses brought the babies around. One of our boys was screaming Bloody Mary while the other's sobs were muffled, as though he didn't want to disturb us with his cries.
"Here's the big brother, by three minutes," the young nurse smiled as she rocked my boy in her arms. "He's so quiet," Angie commented. She leaned up on her elbows. The nurse gently handed her our first son.
Angie's eyes brightened the moment she held our son. There was a buzzing sensation in my chest, like my heart was going to explode any moment now and then glue back together just from seeing my son. My son. As much as I loved Darcy, there was something different about having a boy. He would carry on my name. He would grow to protect his sister and his mother and me, when I became too old and frail... I shook my head. I didn't want to think about the day when I wouldn't be able to stand on my own two feet without medicine and nurses at my aid.
Darcy stared at her brother as though he was a cute alien.
"He is so small," she whispered, gasping loudly.
I smiled. The boy had tufts of dark hair and prominent brown eyes. For the first month or so, it would be hard to tell whether he looked more like me or Angie, but seeing as his eyes were dark, I'd say he took more to Angela.
The boy's cries were soft and the second Angie kissed his cheeks, they grew quieter. She held him to her chest, coiling her arms around his tiny body as he nuzzled his lips against her neck. She kissed him and rocked him back and forth in her arms until he fell asleep.
I reached for him, but he looked so comfortable in Angie's arms, so I let him be.
A sharp cry sounded from the second nurses' arms. I cringed slightly at the sudden noise. She held our second son, who was screaming his lungs out. He wailed and wailed; his small fists trembled.
Nonna walked in, smiling widely. Her greying hairs were matted in a neat bun. Nonna was Angie's grandmother, a sharp witted woman who pissed me off as much as she made me smile. Being that Angie and I were growing our family very, very quickly, we needed all of Nonna's experience and wisdom.
Tony stood behind Becky, rubbing her back.
"Wow, you didn't faint, Harry," she teased. I rolled my eyes. Tony laughed, taking Becky's hand in his and intertwining their fingers together.
Nonna reached for Darcy, who was clinging to my arms, staring at the two baby boys.
"They're precious," she gasped, trying to contain the tears in her eyes. The nurse handed our second son to me. The boy continued to scream even after I tried rocking him gently. I kissed his soft, puffy cheeks.
His florescent green eyes met mine and he grew quiet almost immediately. Green eyes. Faint but dark tufts of curls. I smiled. He was definitely a mini version of me. I kissed his small hands and his belly.
"Wow," Angie spoke up, smiling at me and our second son. "He already loves you," she whispered. I grinned. Our second son stared up at me. I should stop calling him our "second son." What are we going to name these boys?
Angie seemed to be thinking the same question as me and looked down at our first son. "James," she spoke up. "How's that?" she asked, turning to me.
I shook my head. "Eh. Too common."
"Hmm how about Harold junior?" she asked with a laugh, kissing the boy's cheeks again.
"You'd end you calling both of us Harry, which would be confusing," I explained, my gaze never left our second son's. He merely stared into my eyes as though he were looking into a mirror that revealed the future. I kissed his belly. His entire body fit from the palm of my hand to the crease of my elbow. God, he was so small, so fragile.
I glanced at Darcy in Becky's arms. Suddenly, Darcy seemed much less delicate. She would always be my precious baby girl, but she could walk, talk, and eat by herself. Her new born brothers, on the other hand, needed constant care and protection.
"Well I have no clue what to name them," Angie sighed. Tony tickled Darcy's belly.
"How about Anthony?" he grinned. Becky pushed at his chest.
We all laughed. "He's not your son," Becky reminded him.
"I'd love to have a son," Tony murmured as though he were in a dream. He held Becky's hand and kissed her ring. She blushed slightly, but turned away immediately.
Nonna stepped forward, resting on the edge of Angie's bed.
"Name him after someone special, someone who isn't here to see these boys," she suggested with a shrug. Angie glanced down at her son and his hazel eyes.
"Juliano Danielo, J.D., like my dad," she nodded. Tony and I smiled.
"That's perfect, Angie," I murmured. Angie took a deep breath and kissed our first boy. Then she turned to me and our second son.
I held our boy carefully, staring into his eyes as though he might tell me the name he wanted to be called. His green eyes were bright and far too big for his round face. His tiny fingers coiled around my pinky and for a moment, I saw blue ink on his fingers.
"They called me Messy Dessy in 'Nam."
"Have you been writing boy?"
"N-no, sir..."
I let go of his hand.
"Desmond," I announced. "I will name him after....my father."
Angie coughed. Tony dropped his watch.
"A-Are you sure?" Angie asked carefully. I stared down at our son and nodded. Then I handed the boy to Angie. She held our sons to her chest, one in each arm, and kissed them sweetly. I sat down, clasping my shaking hands together in my lap.
***
5 years later
After that day, Des and I never got along. I didn't really understand what it was with him, but something didn't click between us. Actually, I think we clicked perfectly, too perfectly, like he was the mini version of me and I had some character traits that weren't so great, including how stubborn and controlling I was. It felt as though Des did his utmost best to piss me off and cause trouble. But at the same time, it seemed like I was making something out of nothing. Des was a good kid at heart. He was just too stubborn and had a habit of breaking the rules, two traits he inherited from me.
These past few years, I have begged Angela to have my last child. After five years of refusing to let me touch her without a contraceptive, she finally gave in. I convinced her that our children were already growing up too quickly so we needed one more.
I was pretty sure it wasn't healthy for me to use children as a way to solve whatever internal issues I was going through, but it was too late now. Baby Farah was born a few hours ago.
We had to stay the night at the hospital considering it was already past midnight and they were running tests on Farah. Carefully, I gripped Angela's hand and smiled at her as she laid on the hospital bed. She looked so feeble, but her face continued to glow beautifully, the way it always does when she gives birth. But there was something different this time around. She was worried about something...
Darcy was seven now. She leaned her sleepy head against Angie's pillow as she lay down beside her.
Darcy was just as precious and stubborn as ever. She sucked on her thumb as her eye lids grew heavy. Angie kissed Darcy's forehead. Darcy snuggled up closer to Angie's chest.
"Baby sister... I want play with my baby sister," Darcy mumbled in her sleep. She curled her body beside Angie's, her vibrant blonde hair spread around her head like a messy halo. I scooped her up and carried her in my arms. Angie needed as much space as possible; she had just given birth. When Darcy was born, I had to admit, I nearly passed out.
As corny as it may sound, seeing a human being born from another was one of the most beautiful and disturbing sights I had ever seen. I loved Darcy from the moment I knew she was growing in Angela's belly and I've been attached to her ever since, but it did take a few weeks for me to get the image of the birthing out of my mind. Plus, Angie didn't want me to touch her for a while after we had Darcy so it worked to both our favors.
Des ran into the room with J.D. following shyly behind him. I smiled at J.D. who half hid behind Angie. He sat quietly by the edge of her bed, careful not to take too much space. Payne was right; J.D. was the little boy version of Angie. He was the spitting image of her and had J.D. senior's hazel eyes.
My eyes focused on Des and my smile disappeared.
"Where is the baby? She's taking foreverrr!" Des started screaming and running laps around the room. I narrowed my eyes at him. He sucked on a ring pop Danny had no doubt given him. Sugar is like fuel for that boy.
"She's being cleaned up by the nurse, honey," Angela smiled at him, but the light in her eyes had faded. I convinced myself she was merely tired and not upset. What would she be upset about? Nonna's surgery? I took a deep breath. I needed to check on Nonna but something told me I already knew what I would find.
Desmond rushed to his mother and kissed her cheeks, leaving a blue mark. Angie laughed faintly as though she was out of breath.
"Desmond," I called sternly. Des laughed and sucked on his blue ring pop. His lips were an even brighter blue than the ink in my pens.
"Like why was she in momma's belly anyway? Was it cozy in there?" he asked loudly, poking lightly at Angie's stomach.
"Desmond, stop pushing your mother's stomach," I warned. I adjusted Darcy so that I held her by one hand and knelt down for Des.
Des was about to make a run for it when I gripped his wrist.
"Stop running, this is a hospital, not a playground," I reminded him tersely. He stood still. His dark green eyes matched mine down to the dark lashes and round pupils. I smiled. Finally, he was listening to me.
Angie sat upright, leaning on her elbows. Her face was glazed lightly with sweat. But her eyes were calm and soothing. She had given birth to our twin sons a few years ago, so giving birth to a tiny little girl was a no brainer.
The nurse had taken Farah to clean her and perform a few quick tests to check that she was healthy. She had barely screamed when she came out, which was noted by the nurses. She was also very small, smaller than Darcy or the twins when they were born. I hoped there wasn't anything serious that was the cause of these differences. But in all honesty, every child is different. Sure there is a standard and a time frame for different milestones, but some babies are very unique. Farah is one of those babies.
The nurse brought Farah back. I stood up immediately and reached for her. Darcy rubbed her eyes and hopped down from my arms. The nurse gave me my last child. My eyes glazed with tears as I smiled down at Farah. Her eyes were a rich, dark brown, as was her few strands of hair. I smiled. She was Angie, inside and out.
I turned to Angie, who was resting her head against the pillow, taking slow breaths. Darcy clung to my leg, tugging at my hip until I looked down at her.
"Daddy, I'm sleepy," she whined quietly.
"There's a chair right there, honey," I nodded. She stared at me with wide eyes, then at Farah. It took her a moment to walk over and sit down.
J.D. sat beside Darcy, smiling sweetly at Farah.
"Can I hold her?" he asked quietly. Darcy held her hands out first. I smiled. Des noticed his siblings sitting down and chewed on his ring pop before throwing out the plastic bit theatrically, as though he were Lebron James.
"I'm her sister, I get to go first," Darcy stuck her tongue out at J.D. I ignored her little antics and gave Farah to J.D.
"Hold your hands out like this, J.D.," I showed him. He copied me, stretching out his small hands. Darcy nudged at his rib. He winced. I handed him Farah very gently, showing him how to support her head first, then her body.
He marveled at the tiny body he held. His dark eyes widened as Farah whimpered softly. He kissed her cheeks.
"It's ok, baby, I'm your big brother Juliano Danielo, but you can call me J.D.," he smiled. "I'll protect you," he told her kindly. She merely stared at him, blinking with those big brown eyes of hers.
"My turn!" Darcy cheered. She reached for Farah, but I took her first. Gently, I lowered Farah into Darcy's eager arms.
"Please be gentle with her, Darc, she's not a doll," I reminded her. Darcy nodded eagerly, wrapping her arms around Farah in the most delicate way possible. I knelt down and smiled, unable to contain my happiness at the sight of my first baby holding my last one.
"I can't wait to play dress up with you," Darcy whispered. Farah smacked her lips together, staring up at Darcy. Darcy rubbed her nose against Farah's tiny one. Farah tightened her fingers around Darcy's fingers and I kissed both my girls.
Angie watched our children with a faint smile. Something was bothering her, I could feel it in my chest...
Des cleared his throat.
"My turn," he grinned, licking his blue lips. I laughed and wiped at his mouth with a napkin.
"Hold your arms out like this," I showed him. He nodded and sat beside Darcy and J.D.. I scooped up Farah's frail body and lowered her into Des' lap. Des squrimed with excitment. I scolded him.
He took a deep breath and held his hands out steadily. Once Farah's body was in his hands, he grinned.
"She's like a little doll," he whispered softly. He lowered his head to Farah's, staring at her face. Farah pouted her lower lip. Des made faces, which only scared her.
"Why doesn't she talk?" he asked plainly, looking up at me.
"She's just a baby," Angie spoke up. Her voice sounded so distant, even though she was only four feet away from us.
"Come on, little girl, I'm trying to be nice here," Des spoke to Farah. Her chin quivered and tears glazed her eyes. Oh no.
Farah started wailing. Des gasped, unsure what to do or say. I picked up Farah and rocked her in my arms until she calmed down.
"It's ok, sweetheart," I whispered to her. "Daddy's got you."
Farah took soft, steady breaths as I kissed her gently. Her eyelids began to close and she fell asleep. I was about to walk over to Angie and give her Farah when I realized that Angie had fallen asleep, too. The nurse came back with her clipboard. She looked as though she had something to say, so I nodded, encouraging her to speak.
"It's about Mrs. Santini," she explained quietly.
"Oh," was all I said. She nodded and I walked over to her.
I turned to my children. "I'll be back, kids, stay here with momma," I asked of them. Darcy nodded, assuming leadership over Des and J.D.
"Ask Nonna if she wants to read my story later," J.D. reminded me. Darcy rolled her eyes. Des made gagging noises.
"Reading is for weirdos," he laughed.
"No it's not," J.D. defended quietly. Darcy pinched Des, but made it look as though J.D. had done it. The boys started bickering. Darcy grinned. I sighed loudly.
"I'll stay with the kids," Becky offered, walking in from the door. I smiled at her.
"You're a lifesaver, Becky," I told her. She waved a hand.
"I'm only doing this for Angie," she teased. I laughed and walked with the nurse who led me to Nonna's room. She had been suffering from Alzheimer's and recently had a heart attack. The old woman was strong and stubborn, though. She wouldn't go down without a fight, but now she was on the hospital bed, hands trembling as she pointed at me, no, at Farah.
I knelt down, holding baby Farah to my chest.
"She looks just like Angela," Nonna whispered, stroking Farah's cheek.
I grinned. "I know."
Nonna's eyes met mine and her smile faded. I felt my chest tighten, knowing she was about to say something very, very important.
"Harry, you never got a hair cut," she shook her head. I laughed, shaking my head. Nonna tugged at a few of my curls.
"I've been busy," I grinned, motioning at Farah and nodding over my shoulder at my children in the other room.
"And your tattoos, Harry, they'll scare the children. You still haven't gotten rid of them," she scolded me.
I laughed again. Did she call me over just to tell me everything I haven't fixed about myself?
"Harry, I didn't ask you to come here so I could tell you off. I wanted to let you know just how proud I am of you and Angela. And of Danny. He was past 25 when he got married, but at least he got married," she joked. I rolled my eyes playfully. Old ladies and their obsession with getting kids hitched.
"Thank you, Nonna. We love you," I told her. For some reason, it felt as though I was trying to swallow a knife. Nonna's eyes glazed with tears. I blinked my eyes before they grew "sweaty."
"Harry, no matter what you and Angie have been through, what you've been through, it's all in the past, but this, this child," she motioned at Farah. "And the rest of your children are your future. Live for them. Don't let anything else affect how you raise them," she warned. I looked down at my hands. I never told her about my father, but she was smart enough to sense the tension between Des and I.
Just as the silence became daunting, I spoke up.
"We named her after you, Nonna," I held up Farah. And with that, Nonna nodded, smiling, a bittersweet expression etched on her delicate yet wrinkled face.
The nurse asked me to leave the room and I did, very slowly, though. I felt it in my gut, that nagging, tugging sensation where you know what was going to happen, but you refused to accept it.
I walked back to Angie. She woke up a few hours later, smiling at me. I handed Farah to her, biting down on my tongue all the while.
"Where's my precious little girl?" she asked in a faint whisper. Farah looked up at her with wide eyes. I smiled at them. Gosh, they looked so much alike.
The nurse came in and showed me her clipboard. It had Nonna's name written over it and the time. I nodded. Angie raised her brow at me.
"What is it, Harry?" she leaned up. She tugged at the string of her dress and let Farah drink some of her milk.
I shook my head. Farah sucked on Angie's breasts until her eyes grew droopy with sleep.
"I'll tell you later, right now, you've got Farah--"
"It's about Nonna, isn't it?" Angie murmured.
Our eyes met. Nonna was the only living relative Angie had, besides Danny. Nonna was Angie's connection to her past, to her mother and father and the old stories of Palermo. Nonna was the glue that held Angie and I together and who cared for Danny and the rest of the gang.
I nodded. Angie began crying. Farah was startled by the sound of Angie's sobs. I took Farah from Angie and held her as I tried to rub Angie's back and comfort her. Angie pressed her face to my chest, sobbing against my shirt until it dripped with her tears.
***
Angie stayed in her room that night, without eating dinner or talking to our children. I had to bottle feed Farah, but it wasn't the same. She needed her mother's milk.
"Is momma ok?" Des asked me quietly. He came up close and stood in front of me as I held Farah and her bottle.
I smiled weakly. "She's just tired, Des," I reassured him. He nodded slowly, brushing a loose curl away from his vibrant eyes.
Six months passed that way, with Angie in her room, laying in bed all day while I was at work. I left work as early as I could each day so that I could take care of my children. Des, J.D. and Darcy came home on the bus every afternoon while Farah was in her crib, in me and Angie's room.
Angie breast fed Farah most days and bottle fed her on other days. Angie was very distant and lost, as though her body was merely performing the necessary chores, but her heart wasn't in it.
When I looked into her eyes, I couldn't see my Angie, the woman that I've been in love with for decades now. I saw the shell of Angela: the figure, the face, the eyes, but not the light behind those eyes or the glow in her cheeks.
She lost a lot of weight, too much to be healthy. We slept in the same bed every night, but she kept to her side and I stayed on mine. I wasn't in the mood to touch her considering she had that lost look in her eyes. And she certainly didn't want to touch me.
I knew she still loved me and wanted me physically just as she always has, but not now, not these past few months.
I rushed home one evening to prepare dinner. I had bought Macaroni and Instant gravy and other ready-to-eat foods because I literally had no time to cook. I didn't even know how to cook that well to begin with.
Darcy was watching T.V. in the living room. Des was in his room, reading or writing or both. And Des was running around the kitchen, holding a pan on his head and a spatula in his hand. I held Farah in my arms, kissing her cheeks to coax her to sleep. She had been crying for hours now and wasn't any close to quieting down.
I boiled the water for the macaroni and cursed under my breath when a drop of the hot water touched my finger. Farah cried harder.
"I'm captain Dessy, ready for lift off!" Des cheered as he jumped onto the counter.
"Desmond, you have two seconds to get off that counter!" I yelled. Farah screamed. I kissed her cheeks and rocked her softly in my arm, but she refused to quiet down.
"Keep it down, I'm trying to watch American Horror Story!" Darcy shouted. Horror story? What the hell?
I rushed to the living room and stared at the T.V. screen. There was blood and women in black robes, a coven of witches. I grabbed the remote off the couch and flipped the T.V. off.
"You're not allowed to watch that show, Darcy," I scolded her. She pouted her lips.
"But daddy, the witches are about to perform the ritual to see who's gonne be the next supreme!" she whined. I shook my head.
"You will not be watching any rituals, now please, watch something with rainbow fairies or ponies or whatever," I asked of her. Darcy sighed dramatically and plopped down on the couch.
As soon as I left the room, I heard the T.V. flip back to the damn horror show. Something fell to the floor with a loud thump. Des screamed. I rushed back to the kitchen and saw the pot of boiling pasta on the floor. For Christs' sake.
I scooped Des up and sat him on the counter, pulling at his socks. His toes were red from the hot water and he winced loudly, clutching at his feet.
"I told you to stop running around, Desmond!" I yelled. He flinched at the sound of my voice. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down.
"I-I'm sorry, dad," he mumbled.
"Well sorry isn't going to make your feet any better. Sorry isn't going to make dinner reappear on the stove," I scolded him. He bowed his head, avoiding my eyes. Farah screamed in my arms. Darcy cheered, waving the remote around. J.D. ran out of his room.
"I am trying to read!" he shouted, waving his book around. I merely stood there, staring at all four of them. For the first time, I was actually mad at myself for having so many children.
Angie walked into the kitchen and everything inside me just cracked.
"FOR CHRISTS' SAKE, ANGELA, I CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH!" I shouted. She flinched. I panted, trying to ease my breathing. Angie stared at me, then at the mess in the kitchen and Farah in my arms and the twins.
I took a step closer to Angie and reached for her hand. "Angela, I love and I know what Nonna meant to you, but please, you have to come back to me, to the kids. We all miss you so much," I whispered. My voice broke at the end. Darcy and the twins stared at me as though they were both afraid and felt sorry for me.
I set Farah down on her high chair. I took Des and J.D.'s hands and led them to the dinner table. Darcy sat beside them.
Angie's eyes watered. "I'm so sorry, Harry," she whispered. She cried, covering her face with her hands. I reached for her and she hid her face against my chest.
"I don't know what happened to me, Harry, I just couldn't feel anymore. Everything became so blurry, so distant," she shook her head. I kissed her neck, rubbing the small of her back.
"It's ok, baby, it's ok," I reassured her. I walked her to our room and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"H-how long was I ...gone?" she asked, looking up into my eyes and wiping at her stray tears. I kissed her cheek, tasting one of her tears. She glanced at the clock, then back at my face.
"Six months," I told her. She cried harder against my chest.