Gossip Girl here, today will be the day one of New York's top fashion designers will be wed. Not just any fashion designer, Madaline Collier. Our Material Girl is going to get a new daddy, the third one's the charm they say. We all get daddy issue, when it comes to Lena it gets intricate just like everything else revolving around here. A little birdie told me, the golden boy isn't completely over his presumed one true love. Tough luck, Lena. When you get love, you get it rough. Many girls would be dying to be in her place but it seems she already chose. The mysterious lover over the golden boy, nothing gets more golden than Nate Archibald.
"LENA!"
The once angelic and sweet voice of my mother is now clamorous and repugnant. My body is exhausted from the errands and lack of sleep the past few days. One more day and I'll be considered insomniac. People's magazine claimed a bride is beautiful and completely marvelous during her wedding, I'm willing to sue for false advertisement.
My mother has become the most odious woman I have come to know the past week. Just last week she broke the news about her wedding being rescheduled to today. She was frantic then but worst now. While I have been working immensely she's been getting a good nights rest on her satin covered bed.
If I would've known accepting the offer of being the maid of honor was a stressful job then I would have declined it then and there. It's too late to back down now.
I race upstairs, my legs almost failing below me. My eyes droopy and restless, my face could be compared to Droopy the cartoon dog from the MGM cartoons.
I walk into the open double doored bedroom, my mother standing in front of a three-way mirror. Her ivory wedding gown hugs all of her curves on her body, flowing smoothly below her waist to the floor. Her hair is pinned back into a bun with a pinned veil inserted into the bun.
She looks utterly beautiful that at this moment I want to hug her and maybe even shed a tear. This is my first time seeing her in a wedding dress about to marry the man of her dreams. She was meant to be a bride even if she had to do it twice.
Her doe eyes meet mine from the mirror reflection. Her eyebrows furrow as she opens her mouth to speak "What the hell are you wearing?" She asks bluntly.
She spins around, she walks off her platform as she approaches me. And then the desire to hug her and tell her how beautiful she looked was ruined.
"This is the dress you wanted me to wear." I respond as she scans the dress top to bottom. The look of disgust and anger in her brown eyes.
I look down at the gown, a burgundy chiffon dress. V-neck with a lace bodice, extending to the arms and stopping around the back leaving an open back.
"I know." She says, her scowl turning into a smile. Her ghastly eyes shift into a light mood, matching her smile.
I furrow my brows as I look at her perplexed. "I was joking." She says, chuckling as she walks back up the platform.
She just played me, she joked around in a pleasant mood. Quite a shocker.
"I know I've been a major pain in the ass this past week. I'm sorry sweetheart but you've made this day perfect." She says, she extends her hand out to me.
I place my hand over hers "You deserve to have the perfect wedding." I say as she encases my hand with hers.
"With the perfect maid of honor and daughter. You are amazing." She says, a gentle smile on her lips as her eyes well up.
"No. No tears." I command as I point my index finger at her.
"That's why waterproof mascara exist." She says, she laughs as she fans her eyes.
•••
Liam and I stand outside of the garden house, the 25-degree weather causing us to shiver. The clouds are dark and gloomy above us, we might expect snowfall this evening.
"When is that damn orchestra gonna start playing our song?" Liam gruffs as he rubs his hands together as he tries to produce heat.
With Steve's family stuck in Italy and Spain, he asked Liam to be his best man. Liam agreed without hesitation, it's just the two of us running this wedding.
We have no flower girl, rose petals are already spread on the walkway. Liam holds mom's wedding band and I hold Steve's.
"Just a second more, hopefully." I say through chattering teeth.
"You look like pinhead Larry." Liam chuckles, I glare at him as he smiles at his joke. His childish reference to sponge bob is not hysterical.
The music from inside begins to play, the faint melody beats through the closed doors.
Liam links his arm with mine "Ready?" He asks, a smirk playing on his lips. The tip of his nose is red from the cold "Sure thing, Rudolph."
I tap his nose earning a scowl from him "Pinhead." He mutters as the double doors open slowly revealing the inside of the garden.
The garden house is unrecognizable, chairs are spread out on both sides of the room leaving the middle for the walkway. All seats are taken, all heads of everybody are turned to us.
My breath is taken away at the beautiful scenery in front of me. White flowers and lights hang from above, white roses in long rectangle cases beside the walkway as it blocks the aisle of the chairs.
"Whoa." I hear Liam breathe underneath his breath.
"Definitely." I mutter as I continue to admire the setup.
Liam slightly nudges me, I bring up the bouquet of white roses and evergreen leaves, cranberries.
Together, in sync, Liam and I walk down the aisle. A smirk glued to his face, confidence, and pride expressing from his face.
He looks down at me, smiling as I smile at him. We reach the end of the aisle, stepping onto the platform. We depart and stand on opposite sides of the arch made of white flowers. Liam stands beside a jubilant Steve, a grin on Steve's face as he glances at me.
Our attention is shifted to the double doors as the chosen song for the bride begins to play. Mom begins to ascend the petaled path with grandma Peggy by her side.
Mom hands me her bouquet as she reaches the end. Her smile is wide expressing joy as she connects hands with Steve. The way the two stare into each other's eyes, full of lust and never-ending love, it makes me smile. One day that'll be me, staring into the eyes of my love.
My eyes meet Liam's, he smiles as well "I'm gonna cry." He mouths.
I roll my eyes at his exaggeration, my eyes then landing on a pair of prominent blue eyes. My smile slightly falters as I gaze at Logan, his bright and loving solicitous eyes gazing into mine.
Over the past week, I have not spoken to him due to being swamped and playing my devoted maid of honor part. Liam's competition to outshine me as best man has also taken part of my exhaustion. Logan's called but I couldn't talk, when I was finally available, I was asleep.
I miss him profoundly, my heart aches for him. For his touch, his lips, just him, everything and everything.
My eyes trail to his lips as he mouths "Hey." A smile forming on his lips.
My body fills with joy "Hi." I mouth back with a smile.
"Lena." I hear Liam mutter.
I divert my eyes to Liam who stares at me widely. Mom, Steve, and the priest also have eyes on me.
"The ring" Liam whispers.
I almost jump, I was too distracted to hear that they needed the ring. I hand over the wedding band to mom, she gives me a soft smile before turning back to Steve.
I feel my face heat up, I know it's red due to embarrassment. I look at Liam who shakes his head slightly "Idiot." He mouths.
The music echoes all around the room, the beat bumping up and down to the rhythm. Mom dances with Steve on the dance floor, both of them smiling and laughing.
"Lena, this is such a wonderful wedding! You're mother told me you planned it all, I'm absolutely impressed." Anne Archibald says, she smiles as she pulls me into a quick hug.
"Thank you." I say, returning the smile.
"She's right, I am absolutely impressed as well. You did a fantastic job." Howard Archibald chimes in.
I'm almost shocked to see him here, I heard he was released on parol, not from Nate. I'm just surprised to see him in person, again.
"It's great to finally see you again, sir." I tell him.
"Lena, it's amazing to see you again. I can't thank you enough for keeping my boy in check while I was away. You were there for him when I couldn't be, you helped him through all of this and I am extremely grateful. It's such a blessing to have you in Nate's life." He says. His words make my heart ache.
I look past his shoulder to see Nate behind him, his icy blue eyes bore into my brown eyes. Howard speaks the truth, I was there for Nate when he wasn't or no one else was. I was his guardian angel when he was mine. For three years, Nate and I have been through everything together. From his love for Serena to my awful past in San Diego. His in-honest friendship with Chuck to my problematic liking to Logan. His father going to jail, his affair with a duchess, my secret about the Basses to the William scandal to the malicious taunter to now. We've stuck through thick and thin because...
"He's my best friend. I would do it again if I had a choice." I say. I see Nate's expression shift just before I avert my eyes from him.
"You're kind and wholehearted. Nate's beyond lucky to have you in his life." Howard says. He gives me a smile and a gentle pat on my shoulder before walking away with Anne.
My eyes land back on Nate, he steps closer to me slowly.
"He's right. I'm damn lucky to have you in my life, you're my standing ground whether I'm falling apart or not. You were right the other day, I do love you. I always will even when you don't love me..." He began, his eyes downcast and full of sorrow.
"Nate" I interrupt, my eyes reflecting off of his.
"No. Just listen, before I was confused and seeing you with Logan made me jealous. Now that he's back in the picture, you're not all mine. You're not a piece of property, I know but now it's not just Nate and Lena. Now, it's Nate and Lena and Logan. I know your love for each other is enduring and I'm happy for you but it kind of hurts..." Nate is interrupted.
"What's going on?" Logan intervenes. He stands adjacent to us both. His eyes cold as he stares at Nate, his body tense and stiff.
I can see the annoyance in Nate's eyes "We are in the middle of something." Nate responds as he glares at Logan.
"Don't let me intrude." Logan says as he stands his ground.
"Privately." Nate says as his jaw clenches.
"So you can put your hands on her and get steamy. Not a chance, Archibald." Logan huffs with a cynical smile for a brief moment as his cold eyes glare directly at Nate.
"Logan." I warn glaring his way. His eyes divert to me for a second without changing before he settles his glare on Nate.
Nate's body stiffens, his eyes fixed on Logan, his jaw clenched and tensed. "I would never do that to her." He gruffs
"If you've done it before, you'll do it again. You two did date in the past." Logan says, his words provoking more anger in Nate.
"At least I never hurt her." Nate retorts.
Logan tenses up at Nate's words "What the hell does that mean?" He gruffs
"I never went around sleeping with another girl. I always had respect for her, treated her like my goddamn princess when you treated her like crap..." Nate began, the glare between the two settled and unwinding. I feel my stomach begin to turn as my heart begins to beat faster due to the intensity of this scene.
Liam joins my side, he looks between the two tensed men. He shoots me a questioning look as he bites into his bread roll filled with meat.
I divert my attention to Nate as he continues "You fought with her, said tactless things because of your insensitivity, you broke her heart. I was the one who had to pick up the pieces, I was the one who held her, told her everything would be alright. I put smiles on her face and gave her everything she deserved unlike you. Honestly, your loss was my gain."
That was the last straw for Logan, I saw the change in his eyes. The anger heightens, his jaw clenches tightly as a vein popped out of his neck. His hand clenched into a fist, he stepped forward, swinging his arm up powerfully to Nate.
Logan's fist flies through the air but misses Nate and instead collides with Liam's face. Liam jumped in the way trying to stop a fight from sparking up.
Liam falls to his knees cursing as Logan's expression changes.
My eyes widen as I look at Liam, I attend to him. "Look at me." I say as I try to examine his face.
"Logan you mother f******." Liam hisses as he turns his head. I gently grab his face to see that everything is fine, no bruising yet.
I look up at meet Logan's eyes, I stare at him angrily as he looks shocked and repentant.
I see Nate move from his once frozen spot, he lunges at Logan. Sending an uppercut throw to Logan's untouched face, until now.
I gasp as I'm stunned by Nate's sudden action. Logan stumbles back as Nate regains his balance. Nate looks at me, his anger gone but his eyes unreadable. He turns away and walks away, his back the focus of my attention as he disappears into the crowd around us.
From my peripheral vision, I see Liam rise from the ground. I turn around but when I see his face, my heart drops. His eyes fixed on Logan, cold and infuriated. Logan looks Liam's way just in time to see Liam's fist collide with the temple of Logan's head that sends him to the ground.
Logan curses as Liam stands his ground, shaking off his hand. "That's for Lena." Liam states in a brusque manner.
Liam gives me a sympathetic look, I divert my eyes to Logan who is helped up by two men. One of those men being Howard Archibald, he looks extremely concerned.
"Where's Nate?" Howard asks, his voice laced with concern.
I turn around and look at the direction Nate disappeared in. I have to talk to him, I need to.
I feel Howard places his hand on my shoulder "Maybe I should get this one." He says softly.
He then leaves in the path Nate disappeared in, I watch Howard disappear as well. I feel my eyes well up as the knot in my throat forms. It pains me, it pains me because Nate spoke the truth.
"Lena." I hear Liam's soft voice as his places his hand on my shoulder.
I shrug him off and storm away without looking back, I need to hide these tears. I run out of the grand room. As I hear Liam's voice call out my name as he follows me, I panic.
I don't want to face him, not right now. I see a large cabinet beside the giant clock tower. I bend down and climb inside, closing the door behind me. I hug my knees as the tears spill out from my eyes.
I lay my head on my knees as I settle down. The look on their faces, to each other, it was hatred.
The cabinet door swings open revealing Liam's face. He smiles slightly "Still hiding in cabinets, I see." He says referring to my childhood days when I would get upset or angry.
He slides himself inside in, folding his knees as he sits across from me. "How did you fit in here?" He asks as he shifts his position.
I stare at him as he settles, his eyes meet mine. "I'm sorry for punching your boyfriend." He says sincerely "But in my defense, he hit me first." He adds
I send him a glare "How is he?" I ask
"Bruised but's it's nothing he didn't deserve." He responds nonchalantly.
"What did you mean when you punched him and said it was for me?" I ask him.
Liam sighs before he speaks "I heard what Nate said and it ticked me off so I laid one on him. It's not like what Nate said was a lie."
They're both right but everything Nate said was based on the past. When I was broken, Nate was there to repair my heart and pick me up.
"But it was the past." Liam says and I shift my eyes to him.
"Logan's not the same person he was three years ago." I say
"I know." Liam says "Neither are you."
**
I walk into the kitchen to see Logan icing his temple as Milly hands him a few medicine capsules. Milly notices my presence, she sends me a nod before exiting the kitchen.
I approach Logan, his eyes shift to me. He stands up from the stool quickly.
"Don't move." I say as I grab his hand that holds the ice pack and replace it back on his temple.
He sits back down on the stool as I sit down on the one beside him. His downcast blue eyes stare at me, I know he's sorry and full of regret.
"See what happens when you let your feelings get in the way? You get you're pretty face scratched up." I say, my finger gently traces over the red irritated patch of skin on his chin. It's beginning to bruise, the purple discoloration is beginning to settle in as well on his temple.
"Lena." Logan says, his voice soft as he gently grabs my hand from his face.
"I know, Logan." I say "You don't need to say it."
"But I do. I'm sorry. I know I say it a lot because disaster just follows me. I've said one too many apologies to you that I may have broken the most apologies in a life time in just three years. What happened tonight was all on me, I know that. I deserved what came to me, I know that too. I was a real asshole..." He began before intervened.
"So was Nate. He went out of line saying those things." I insert
"But he wasn't wrong." Logan states.
"No, he wasn't." I say truthfully.
Logan averts his eyes from me, the sorrow filling his eyes. He clenches onto the ice pack in his hand before slamming it on the counter.
"Did I cause so much pain to you? Was I the cause of all of your heartbreak?" Logan asks, his eyes are focused on the ice pack.
"Honestly, Logan. Nate was always my shining star in a world full of darkness and pain." I respond, a knot forms in the middle of my throat.
Logan diverts his eyes to me, the hurt visible in his dull eyes. "You hurt me in ways I didn't know was possible. From when we first met it seemed we were doomed from the start. I guess there was a reason why I never let myself accept the way I felt about you, in some way I knew you were going to cause pain in my life that I didn't deserve. It hurt every time you said something insensitive and rude, blew me off at school, every time you got mad and walked away when you slept with Hemera and didn't even bother to tell me..."
I feel tears stream down my face and more threatening to fall. Logan's eyes are glassy as he stares at me.
"It hurt, even more, when I forgave you but you let me go making me feel like you didn't want me and I was worthless to you. Then you tried to kiss me while I was with Nate, when he broke up with me I knew it was meant to be because I felt it was a second chance for us but then again you went and let me go. I didn't leave the penthouse in Paris for a week because you broke my heart again. Then you resorted back to your drinking habit and drugs, I hurt me thinking it was because of me. When I first came back from Paris, I had already chosen. It was you, it was always you and even Nate knew that. He let me go to be with you despite knowing our past together. So yes, he was there. He was always there, to pick me up when I was down. To pick up the broken pieces of my heart and glue them back together as a result of you. You were my first love, you are even despite all of the misfortune you brought upon me."
I didn't mean to be blunt and harsh myself but it was hard. It was hard to admit it all because, in the long run, Nate was always there even when Logan wasn't.
My cheeks are stained with tears as my eyes are still filled with tears. My heart aches, it aches for myself, for Logan, for Nate. Seeing Logan hurt by my words causes more pain. The tears threatening to spill from his pitiful eyes.
I turn away and exit the kitchen, I hurriedly walk into the second living room. I find myself in the bathroom, I shut the door behind me. I grip onto the edges of the sink counter as I stare at my reflection. My eyes pink and puffy, the bottom of my lashes clumped and stuck onto my skin.
My bottom lip quivers until I can't hold back the tears anymore. The sound of my sobs echoes through the empty bathroom. My throat hurts from sobbing, my eyes burn from all of the tears.
I force myself to calm down, I shut my eyes and focus on my breathing until I feel that I'm settled.
••••
Madaline and Steve wave goodbye from the sunroof of the limo as it drives away. Their smiles expressing jubilance and love. Ribbon and flowers hanging from the back of the limo as it drives away.
The guest wave with smiles and wish them luck along with everlasting love.
Lena stares into an abyss, no smile on her face just no expression. Her eyes still puffy from her waterfall of tears.
Liam stands beside her, he stares at her with sorrow and pity. He knows something bad happened between her and Logan but he has yet to question her. Seeing her distraught pains him yet angers him. He wonders what Logan had done this time, he is oblivious to the fact that Lena brought this upon herself.
Lena breaks out of her trance and walks back into the deserted house. She slowly walks up the staircase, Liam tailing her.
As she enters her room, she's shocked to see Nate sitting on the edge of the bed. His downcast eyes divert to her as she entered the room.
Meanwhile, Logan walks the streets of Manhattan. His eyes are trained on the pavement as he ponders. He runs his hands through his hair in frustration and distress.
He's angry at himself for causing so much pain to Lena, his love. His one and only true love.
As he comes to a crosswalk, he hurriedly checks both ways before crossing. Midway, a speeding car fastens it's speed. Logan quickly turns his head as the headlights flash him, the sound of the roaring engine louder than everything else around him.
Logan's eyes widen in horror as he see's the driver, he hurriedly tries to get to the sidewalk but the car runs into him, sending him tumbling over the hood of the car and onto the ice cold ground where he lies unconscious.
A/N: So this is the mid-season finale of season 4. Intense and a desire for more as you've all been left with a cliffhanger. Sorry not sorry, I won't wait too long to publish the next chapter. When I'm done and I have edited it then I'll post it, I've been working on it for more than a week now. Unlike T.V shows, I won't wait months because I HATE IT. You're welcome and thanks for reading. -Xoxo