Without realizing it, Yoongi had fallen asleep a top his piano after making his way back to the dorm from the basketball court. Yoongi could still feel the warmth of Jimin's kiss on his lips. Still feel the youngers warm skin on his fingertips. The air Jimin had stolen during their embrace still hadn't fully made its way back into Yoongi's lungs. His heart still fluttering whenever he pictured the intensity of Jimin's eyes.
Groaning loudly, body sore from the exercise and uncomfortable sleeping position, Yoongi stood up from his chair. Stretching his arms towards the ceiling before pulling his phone from his pocket. It was already past noon on their first day off for the week. But Yoongi still felt tired. Then again... He always felt tired. But today was especially different. The early morning excursion with Jimin had drained the energy from Yoongi's entire being.
The house was noisy as expected, as Yoongi exited his room and followed the smell of coffee to the kitchen. Yoongi managed a grumbled greeting to Namjoon and Jin who sat at the kitchen island munching on some snacks and reading the newspaper. "Wahhh," Namjoon says, taking in Yoongi's current image. Which wasn't good. "You look so tired."
Yoongi was glad when he didn't have to speak and just focused on getting his first sip of coffee as Jin answered for him. "I woke up this morning and he was asleep, hunched over his keyboard."
Taehyung looked up from the game he and Jungkook had been playing, "Hyung, are you okay?"
Yoongi looked up to them. Jimin sat on the opposite side of the sectional. His eyes focused on the manhwa in his hands. His Sandy hair parted down the middle, a style Yoongi often liked on Jimin. Yoongi enjoyed seeing as much of his face as possible. Jimin had changed into a new set of sweatpants and a fresh T-shirt. Leaving Yoongi feeling a little embarrassed still wearing the same outfit, bleached hair in certain disarray.
"I'm fine," Yoongi replied. "I just felt like working on my song some more and fell asleep without realizing."
At those words he noticed a shy smile cross Jimin's lips. Yoongi's heart nearly lunged from his chest at the sight. His cheeks burning from the thought of their secret. He continued to stare at Jimin as the rest of the members went back to their chaotic conversations. Telepathy, Yoongi thought. Begging his nonexistent powers to compel Jimin to meet his gaze. But Jimin wouldn't budge, remaining an unmoving statue of perfection.
As if Jimin were the most beautiful art piece on display in a museum and Yoongi unable to touch him. Unable to reach out and feel the electricity that could spark life back into Yoongi's heavy limbs.
"Yah," Jungkook's cheerful voice rang louder than the others in search of their attention. "Let's play a game together."
"Ohhhhhhh, JK!" Jin awed and clapped in agreement.
The door to Jimin and Hoseok's room flung open. Hoseok came sliding down the hallway on his socks, coming to a stop in the living room, screeching his trademark crow caw. "I'm in!" Hoseok chimes brightly, "We haven't played anything fun since our last Run episode a few months back."
The others clapped in agreement except for Jimin and Yoongi, but the others didn't seem to notice as they began bickering over what game to play.
"Oh, oh, oh!" Jungkook jumped up from the couch. "Scavenger hunt! We split into teams and make a list of things to do or find within the complex and the losing team has to do a punishment."
"What do the winners get?" Jimin finally spoke, the sound somehow forcing the tension in Yoongi's shoulders to relax.
Taehyung clapped loudly, "I got it! Winners get to choose the menu for dinner tonight."
Everyone cheers in agreement and begins grabbing a notebook and working on the scavenger hunt list. Yoongi sat at on one of the chairs in the kitchen. Sipping his coffee and chiming in with an idea or two. He felt unmotivated for any games but it had been a while since they had time for any type of free fun and he didn't want to take that away from the others.
After a few fierce and loud, as they often were, rounds of rock paper scissors the teams had been divided: Namjoon and Yoongi, Taehyung and Jungkook, and Jimin, Hoseok, and Jin. Once decided, everyone ran to get their rooms to get changed before dashing out the front door in a mass of pushing and yelling. The instant they all step foot in front of their building Jungkook pulled out his phone, "Time limit is one hour! First team clear the most items on their list wins!"
Without a second passing, the band split up. Sprinting into random directions with their team mates.
Luckily Namjoon wasn't much of a runner so he and Yoongi were able to slow down to a calmer stride. It was still cold but the sun was bright. Perfect weather for them all to be out. Yoongi couldn't help but hope their fans would be happy that they're finally getting some rest.
The pair walked silently, an instance that had lost its awkwardness after knowing each other for nearly eight years. Yoongi couldn't help but remember their time as trainees. Despite wanting to be like 1TYM in the beginning, Yoongi no longer wondered if he was on the right path. BTS had become his family and their success together had become his new dream. He wanted to share more awards with them. With Jimin, he thought.
Namjoon stopped suddenly and turned, leaving Yoongi to follow behind in confusion. "Yah, Joon-ah, where are you going."
Namjoon extends his long arm ahead of him, pointing at the basketball court. "We need to play a game of Horse then take a picture with the winner on the losers shoulders or in his arms."
Yoongi froze. His sneakers inches away from the white boundary of the court. His heart pounding in his ears. Blood flushed to his cheeks. His hands clenched into fists as he tried to regain control of himself. Before he knew it...
"I kissed Jimin." The words tumbled from Yoongi's lips. Leaving him to stare at the frozen lanky stature of his friends back.
Namjoon turned around slowly. His eyes wider than any plastic surgery obsessed Gangnam woman. "What did you just say? You kissed-"
"Jimin! I kissed Park Jimin!" Yoongi shouted in a half hearted attempt at a stage whisper.
Namjoon rushed closer, "What? When? Where? What?!"
Yoongi whined in that common strained voice he used whenever he pleaded for something, "Here. Right here. We were playing basketball at like 4 in the morning. He beat me in a one on one and I had to accept my punishment for losing and.... And he kissed me."
Yoongi wasn't sure what reaction he was expecting from Namjoon, but this wasn't it. Namjoon smiled, muttering something inaudible before smiling wide at Yoongi, "And what did you do?"
"I... I kissed him back."
Namjoon sprung into the air and ran circles around the court, yelling in what seemed to be happiness or victory. "I fucking knew it!" He said, stopping his parade back in front of Yoongi. "I knew you had feelings for him."
Yoongi groaned in disbelief, "How could you have known when I didn't even start to feel anything till the kiss?!"
Namjoon looked at Yoongi, his chin portruding a bit to show how serious he was, "Are you sure about that?"
No, Yoongi thought.
No he wasn't.
• • • • • • • • • •
Namjoon and Yoongi managed to complete most of the ridiculous missions before the time limit was up. Without needing to hear any promises, Namjoon knew he would keep his secret. But he did feel the need to tell him one more thing before they got back to the dorm.
"Joon-ah," Yoongi's voice was low. "There's something else I need to tell you."
Namjoon nodded, smiling. Probably awaiting News of Yoongi's feelings.
"Someone... An older woman... Saw me and Jimin."
Namjoon's smile faded, his eyebrows furrowing with worry, "Did she recognize you?"
Yoongi rubbed the back of his neck, nervous, "I don't think so. It was still dark and the lights around the court were out."
"Yoongi-ah, you can't..." Namjoon began.
Yoongi already knew what he was gonna say, "I know. We can't be reckless like that."
"Yoongi, touching and playful hugging seen on screen or at awards shows is one thing. Fanservice is one thing. But we can't be caught dating someone..." Namjoon paused, cringing at the words he was about to say, hating the homophobia of their society,"Especially another man."
Yoongi growled in frustration, "Fuck, I know. But... God damn it, Joon-ah, I can't stop thinking about it. I know we can't. I know every single reason why we should forget this happened and move on. But I can't go back from this.... I may not know what I'm feeling but I know that I want him."
Namjoon placed a friendly hand on Yoongi's shoulder, "I'm not saying walk away. I'm not saying walk forward. That's between you and Jimin. What I am saying, is don't get caught."
Yoongi manages a nod before Namjoon spoke again, "I'm also saying, if you two do decide to move forward, you need to tell the other members. I know your feelings and choices are your own. But it's a decision that in turn affects all of us."
A point Yoongi knew very well.
Taehyung and Jungkook had, as expected, made it back to the dorm first. Already inside reviewing their list and pictures when Namjoon and Yoongi walked in. Followed almost immediately by Hoseok, Jin, and Jimin.
The group piled into the living room, sitting on the couch by their team members and reviewing everyone's pictures and scores. But all Yoongi could focus on was how far away he was from Jimin. How he wanted desperately to close the gap between them. To talk to him. They needed to talk about what had happened between them. But even Yoongi didn't know where to begin that conversation.
"Yoongi-hyung and Namjoon-hyung's team came in last!" Jungkook giggled, bouncing with glee at his teams victory.
Yoongi sighs and leans back on the couch, "Alright alright. What's our penalty."
The other two teams huddle together. Their mischevious whispers mixing together with a few evil chuckles. Yoongi could see Namjoon was just as uneasy about the punishment as he was. The members had all become good at giving punishments by now. Even more so when there aren't cameras around. That's usually when the painful ones come out.
"Okay!" Hoseok clapped, breaking apart their huddle. "You both have to accept a forehead flick from Jimin."
Yoongi and Namjoon instantly yell in protest, the fear rising in them. Both knowing too well that despite Jimin's small hands, his forehead thumps were the most painful. But despite their whining the other members refused to back down. Jungkook and Taehyung being helpful by holding the older members down.
Jimin jumped up from his seat, smiling down at Namjoon as he stretched out his fingers and placed his hand over Namjoon's face. "Be ready Hyung."
Namjoon's eyes slammed shut, body rigid, "Do it!"
Without wasting any time Jimin grinned wide, a sight that made Yoongi's stomach flip- he liked this side of Jimin- and leaned over. He pulled his middle finger back and released, curving his finger a bit to strengthen the impact. Jimin's finger whipped into Namjoon's forehead with a very loud pop.
"Ah! Fuck!" Namjoon flew back, holding his head in his hands. Eyes tearing a little. "Aishhh.... Dammit!"
Everyone burst into laughter at the sight. Commending Jimin on another perfectly done forehead thump. Making sure not to break his record of pain.
"Now Yoongi-hyung!" Jungkook announced, ushering Jimin in front of him.
Yoongi looked up at Jimin, expecting to see that sneaky grin. Instead Jimin was looking down at him in concern. But before Jimin or Yoongi could make any protests, the other members pushed Jimin's hand over Yoongi's face. Helping him get into position. Jimin took his stance and Yoongi closed his eyes. Already wincing from the not-yet-inflicted pain as Jimin pulled his finger back. Yoongi quickly peeked through one eye, noticing Jimin hesitate. Yoongi realized that Jimin's finger was flat and not completely pulled back. But before anyone else noticed, Jimin released. His finger smacking onto Suga's forehead. There was a light sting but nothing compared to how hard he knew Jimin usually hit.
"Fuuuuuuck!" Yoongi shouted, feigning agony to help Jimin save face in front of the others. Despite Yoongi's own curiosity as why he held back. Jimin smiles at him in gratitude for the show as the other members laughed and celebrated.
As Jungkook and Taehyung were the winners they got to choose the dinner menu. Which wasn't a surprise to anyone: Chicken and beer.
Before another word could be said, Jimin grabbed Namjoon's arm and pulled him towards the door. "Namjoon-hyung and I will go get the beer!" Jimin hollered back, disappearing before anyone could approve or deny the action.
What the hell was that? Yoongi couldn't help but feel a little annoyed that Jimin didn't take him. But he wasn't sure he was ready to talk to Jimin yet so he pushed his irritation to the side, hopping up to help Jin prepare the chicken and side dishes.
• • • • • • • • • •
Their rare week off was coming to an end as Yoongi awoke far too early on Sunday morning. He had found himself growing more restless and more grumpy as the days progressed, he and Jimin dodging each other every moment they could. Avoiding eye contact. Not speaking more than a couple words. Yoongi even went so far as to run and hide in his room when he heard Jimin and Sejin comeback from the store on Thursday. Despite not wanting to talk to Jimin himself, Yoongi felt almost overcome each day with growing want and need at the sight of the younger member. Like he was having withdrawals from the lack of time together.
In a way it made sense Yoongi would miss being near Jimin. They had grown close since their debut. Jimin visiting Yoongi's family home many times. Easily remembering how his heart melted watching Jimin and Holly play together. Yoongi always felt a sense of protection over Jimin, making sure to cheer him on and stop the other members from picking on him too much. He also joined in on the teasing at times but Jimin always accepted his words with a bright laugh and understanding attitude.
Yoongi shook his head in a futile effort to rid himself of thoughts of Jimin, fluffy bleached locks bouncing over his eyes. He snatched his phone off the bedside table to check the time. 4 am again...
Yoongi rolled quietly out of his bed, knowing he'd be unable to go back to sleep. Trying to flatten the wrinkles in his pajamas as he stood up. He crept quietly past the sleeping figure of Jin bundled under his covers. Making sure to open and close the door quietly to not disturb his roommate.
Yoongi turned and saw Jimin sitting on the floor, startling him, "Aish-ah gabjagi!"
Jimin ignored Yoongi's cries of surprise, holding out one of his hoodies, "Watch the stars with me."
This wasn't an odd request for the younger to ask of Yoongi. They had watched the stars every night together in Hawaii. Still Yoongi weakly protested and changed the subject, "Yah, it's 4 in the morning. How long have you been sitting here?"
Jimin ignores him and shoves the hoodie into his arms, "Let's go."
Without waiting for a reply, Jimin turned away and headed outside. Yoongi followed hesitantly, slipping the hoodie over his head and wondering why they couldn't do this on the balcony. But he decided to keep the question to himself.
The pair walked around the Sunten Garden in their complex. Finding the right bench, sinking in, and fixating their eyes on the cloudy autumn sky. There were no stars to be seen but neither said anything. Yoongi took the time to bask in Jimin's prescense. Recharging himself.
"Speak... " Jimin said, breaking the hour long silence with his soft voice.
Yoongi kept his eyes on the sky, trying not to squirm in the bench. "What do you want me to say?"
"I don't know... " Jimin replied slowly. "But something has to be better than pretending what happened didn't happen."
Yoongi grew quiet again. Unsure of what to say. Did he want to be with Jimin? Yes, in many many ways. But he also didn't want to harm the other members by being selfish. Oh how he wanted to be selfish.
"I like you Hyung." Jimin's confession knocked the wind out of Yoongi's chest.
Yoongi looked over but Jimin's eyes were still trained on the sky above them. Yoongi still couldn't find his voice.
"I've liked you for a long time," Jimin continued, Yoongi clinging to every syllable like a lifeline. "I didn't realize it at first. I had always imagined a wife... Children. Then I met you." A bright smile crossed Jimin's full lips, "You were so cool, Hyung. Whenever you rapped. Even when you were mean to me or cursed at me. I thought you were so cool. I tried everything to be close to you."
Yoongi stared at him in disbelief as Jimin continued, "I always wanted to see your gummy smile so I always did stupid things to make you laugh. I only dated one girl in middle school so I had no idea how I felt. But Namjoon-hyung knew."
Suddenly Yoongi remembered all of Namjoon's clues: Namjoon saying Jimin liked Yoongi during the FESTA broadcast, the time he yelled Yoongi's name for Jimin's kiss during their bokbulbok show, Namjoon exposing Jimin's favorite part of Blood Sweat & Tears during a concert in Japan. How could Yoongi have been so blind?
Jimin didn't stop, pouring his soul into every word he spoke, "Namjoon-hyung helped me see what I was feeling. We talked for months about it. When he gave me the chance to sing Serendipity, I had hoped it was going to be the perfect confession." A small laughed escaped Jimin's lips as Yoongi sang the lyrics of the song in his head. "But you totally missed it.... Hyung, you're really stupid someti-"
Yoongi cut him off, jumping to his feet and leaning over Jimin, placing his arms on either side of Jimin's head. Clenching the back of the bench as he sealed Jimin's lips with his own.
Finally Yoongi felt the warmth he had been craving so desperately. Jimin leaned up into the kiss, his movements just as hungry. His hands clenching and pulling at Yoongi's hoodie, as if he was refusing to let Yoongi escape. But Yoongi didn't want to escape. He wanted to let the fire between them build until they either brust or turned to ash.
Yoongi slid his hand to the back of Jimin's head, tangling his fingers in Jimin's silken hair. With a light tug, Yoongi pulled Jimin's head back. Jimin gasped quietly in pleasure and Yoongi leaned in closer. His lips grazing the tips of Jimin's ear, "You're right. I am an idiot."
Yoongi instinctively nibbled at Jimin's neck, causing the younger to clench Yoongi's hoodie even tighter. The words no longer got caught in Yoongi's throat, but instead spilled out on to Jimin's skin with ease.
"I'm in love with you Park Jimin."