TF2 Oneshots! [DISCONTINUED]

By FandommSlayerrr

43.2K 721 312

I've had ideas on TF2 characters, so I thought, why not do this? 7-9-18: #2 in Demoman #2 in Pyro #5 in Heav... More

The Ship Names
Canon/Head Canon Names
Requests.
I'm A Pilot. (xPro!Spy)
Lucky (xSpy)
Fairy (xR!Heavy)
Smile (xR!Heavy)
Russian Doll (xR!Heavy)
Clipped Wings (xR!Medic)
Mommy Dearest (xR!Medic)
Happy B-Day! (xR!Medic Lemon)
Snipin's A Good Job (xR!Sniper)
Bird's Eye View (xR!Sniper)
Koalas N' 'Roos (xB!Sniper)
Having A Blast (xR!Pyro)
Drops Of Gasoline (xB!Pyro)
Twins! (xR!Scout)
Sick Day (xR!Scout)
Pocket Sized! (xR!Scout)
Whiskey On Rocks (xR!Demo)
Talented (xB!Demo)
Apprentice (xB!Demo)
Fireworks (xR!Soldier)
World In My Hands (xR!Soldier)
Helmet Party! (xB!Soldier)
Bitch Came Back (xB!Soldier)
Sweetheart (xB!Engie)
Height Differences (xAll)
Q&A! (First.)
Fusion? (xR!Scout)(xR!Pyro)
Jealousy (xB!Engie)(xB!Solly)
OwO (A/n)
Q&A 2!
Screaming Eagle (xSolly)

Seduce me. (xR!Spy)

2.7K 29 23
By FandommSlayerrr

Everyone set their death watches, sighs filling the room. The mercenaries went through this before, the end result being Soldier teleporting absolutely nothing except bread and creating a monster pumped full of cancerous carbs.

Scout blubbered about being "too beautiful to die" until Soldier finally shut him up with his shovel.

"Danke, Herr Soldier."

The Medic piped up, rubbing his temple out of annoyance and relieving the pain of a headache.

"Gentlemen, 'our attention, please."

Spy interupts, everone's view changing from the floor, walls, or their hands to the spy. He had his butterfly knife in hand, inspecting it.

"Zhere is somezhing wrong 'ere. Why would bread of all zhings get tumors?"

This sparked a switch in the stressed Medic's mind.

"Ja. Vhy vould bread get tumors?"

He pondered to himself, then got out of his previous slouching on the wall state, going to the clinic.

The rest if the men glanced around, confused. Why did Spy bring this up? To have a possibility of fixing it?

"Zhere's somezhing strange about zhe teleporter, I suppose?"

He inquires. The smoke of his cigarette floats to the ceiling and as soon as it does, he vanishes to fulfill his last wish.

××

"Oh, Come on, Alexandre, this isn't like you."

The girl pleaded to her lover, seeing the corners of his mouth tilt into a frown. This is now the fourth time his face transformed into an upset expression.

"What isn't like me, cherie?"

He peered at her disappointed face and felt his heart start to shatter. He didn't like- No, he hated seeing his lover disappointed or upset.

"You aren't holding me, nor whispering sweet little things to me."

She pouted, her blonde hair dancing in the passing breeze.

"Iz it true? 'ave 'ou been seeing some ozher man while 'ou are wizh me?"

He diverted his gaze, unable to face the girl in front of him. Not able to see the lies and infidelity he's heard his colleagues talk about.

"N-no, Xandre! You know that I would never-" She tried to reason with him, her plump, stained pink lips trying to get him to listen to her.

He didn't. He didn't want to sit and listen to the lies after what he saw.

"That's not fair, Nigel."

His belle whined playfully to someone he couldn't clearly see.

It was about 9, 10 at night and she had a visitor over. He didn't hear of the man, nor did he ever see him before. Yet, his lover knew him.

His lover, infidelity coursing through her veins, was pinned down underneath the brunet man with a look he never saw in her eyes when they were together. A look of satisfaction, yet, still expecting more.

"How is this not fair, Emilie?"

He inquired, leaning closer to her peach complexion and rosy cheeked face. She giggles as the French man watched the two people on his sofa laugh and mess around.

He almost felt the urge to stab the man and leave the house, situation, and relationship at that moment. But, he didn't, coming to his senses.

He watched them for what felt like a painful eternity, the only thing pulling him away being a stray tear that fell to his chin from off his mask.

"No, belle, I don't want to do zhis. S'il vous plaît, mon cher, just forget about us. It's zhe best zhing."

And he took his leave, feeling the familiar lone tear drifting down his cheek to his chin, wiping it away with his gloved hand.

××

It's been a solid two days since the mercs parted ways to see their friends and families. Spy, Pyro, Medic and surprisingly Engineer being the only ones left at Teufort.

"Well, 'sbeen a pleasure fightin' long side ya, boys."

Dell admitted, cracking open a beer. He took a swig from the bottle letting out a sigh of relaxation after swallowing the alcohol.

Pyro nodded and mumbles agreements from under his mask. Spy stood up and nodded as both a returning the compliment, and nodding as a goodbye.

"I'm sorry I couldn't find a cure, mein freunds.. I tried very hard."

The Medic speaks up, and the rest of the men nod.

6 Days.

Spy went to the small store, going to buy more cigarettes. The cancer sticks seeming to be the only thing worth his while.

Arriving at the register, he requests the normal box he gets every week or so, then when he gets to the doors, a woman with a preteen, no older than fourty, fourty five at most walks in with the boy behind her.

She drops her keys and the kid is too engulved in his electronics to pay attention, mostly jamming out to his music through his bulky headphones.

"Tim? Tim?" The woman sighs, "Timothy? Can you.."

Her failed attempts just make her look at them and imagine the soreness and pain she'd be in if she wanted to grab the keys.

Alexandre took this moment to swoop in and help her out, grabbing them and handing them to her before she started to bend down.

"Oh! Oh, thank you. Really," she gently takes the keys back and smiles thankfully, her son looking up from his phone and seeing the scene unfold, a pang of distrust hitting him.

"I could tell 'ou didn't want to grab zhem, so I just did what I zhought was necessary."

The Frenchman suavly preached, his arms holding themselves behind his back.

After leaving the base, and the store, he looked at himself, wondering where his life went down the path it did.

'Zhe bomb? Poisoned wine? Maybe zhe beat down at zhe Royal Fountain?'

His melodic taps of his leather shoes on the pavement mocking his heart beat. His hands were on either side of his torso, the wind blowing past his face as he walked.

He couldn't help but to think of the woman at the store, how her aged features fed his eyes like the finest aged wine he's ever drank.

3 days

Spy and the woman, who he now knows as Y/n have been going on dates, romance, wonder and pure joy always filling the two when the dates would end.

And, again, the day had ended and the two had to part ways. Alexandre walked the beautiful lady (ya hear that? All of ya are beautiful! Huggles) home, and like a cliché romance movie, kissed her passionately much to her son's disgust.

Spy pulled away first, the woman having a hold of his mask to pull it over his chin and mouth, respecting his wishes of keeping his facial features a secret.

2 days

Alexandre and Y/n decided to spend the next few days together, never fighting or bickering about small things the other did. It was peaceful, to say the least.

In past relationships, Alex never truly appreciated a woman such as Y/n. Yes, the flames of the past were quite amazing at times, but the past week he's been with this woman have truly been the best.

"Alex? How much time is there left?"

The lady on his chest inquired meekly, dreading the answer.

She'd wished that they would have met sooner. That they could've been going on dates and adventures sooner. Hell, even just getting Timothy to warm up to him would work.

But, time stops at some point, and for Spy, it's soon.

"35 'ours left, I'm afraid."

He weakly responds, dreading the countdown. He runs his fingers in her hair, carefully untangling it and twirling it.

"Why do you have to go? Yes, it's only been a week, but you've changed my life for the better under days."

She huffs, releasing the truth about the past few days, her chest feeling lighter and her heart pitter-pattering a bit quicker.

"I don't know, Mon amour, I wouldn't want zhis to end eizher."

Time to death: 2 hours.

The mercenaries rounded up at the base, bringing whom ever they decided with them to spend their last hours with.

Medic, Heavy, Scout, and Sniper bringing their families and the rest bringing friends or lovers.

Spy held Y/n close to him, similar to the other mercs and their loved ones, their death watches ticking in synchrony.

Some were laughing with the bittersweet love their families give them, others bawling or tearing up with their lovers, Spy included.

Time to death: 5 minutes.

The mercenaries laid down, feeling the weakness of death gnawing at them. Misha surrounded by his sister's and mother, Jeremy smiling with Miss Pauling, his brothers, and his mother around him.

Dell and Tavish have a last beer/ Scrumpy and cheer to their lives.

Jane is holding his cupcake's fragile and tiny hand, smiling as she talks to him.

Pyro holds his bubblicorn dearly, Mundy hugs his parents tight, his mother sobbing.

Josef was surrounded by his parents, cousins, uncle and aunt, and siblings, each one of them bawling their eyes out or close to it.

Lastly, there was Alexandre. He was cuddling with you, tears flowing in a steady stream down his face, for once his mask off.

"Mon Cher,"

Time to death: 3 minutes.

I perk up, looking at my french lover.

"Yes, Alexandre?"

"C'était bon-"

The watches beep, saying there's a minute left until the men die. For good.

"C'était bon- bon pendant que ça durait, Mon Cher."

He smiled to her, then flipped her around, kissing the woman with a passion and sadness he had felt.

Everyone around the room said their good-byes and "I'll miss you." And of course, "I love you."

The watches ticked again and all of the people retreated to the rooms nearby as requested of all the men.

It took me the longest.

I let tears fall as I watched his eyes close. Then, I gave him a forehead kiss.

"Goodbye, my love."

A/N: holy fuck that's long ._. anyway, I hope you liked it. It took a little while to think of this and figure out where it was going. Requested by Blueknight2489 (Spy x reader)

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