FAITH POV: I pull at the itchy blouse my foster parents are making me wear. It's like they are trying to falsely advertise me as some prim and proper little girl. I'm far from it. They'll just do what the last falsely-advised family did; they'll give me back.
I hate going from family to family. I always wonder why I can't be good enough. I've seen my share of awful, disrespectful kids, but they have forever families. Why can't I have a forever family? Or at least till I'm eighteen. Once I'm eighteen, I'm moving to Nashville to follow my dreams.
I want to be a singer, sure, but more importantly, I want to find my mother. She told me that "we'll meet again in Nashville, the city of dreams.". She said that her dreams lay in Tennessee, and so did mine. So ever since I was four years old, I've had my plan. I'm going to meet her in Nashville, and then we'll sing together, just like the Judds.
I told my foster mom about my dream and she just dismissed it as "the drugs talking". My foster mom hates me. She always argues with my foster dad about how I need to get out soon. I can hear them argue about me. Sometimes I'll sit outside their door and listen to them argue. She hates me. Luckily, my foster dad doesn't hate me nearly as much as she does. If I have a nightmare or scraped knee, I go to him.
"You nervous for the interview?" My foster dad asks. A few groups of interested adopters are stopping by today to talk to me. It's like adopting a damn puppy.
"A little..." I say, clenching my stomach. It makes me nervous when we do these things. I've always been rejected. Some of these people are a little more harsh than the others...
"Well, don't be. You'll do just fine." He says, giving me a smile and a pat on the back. I nod and breathe. I hear the doorbell ring, and I begin to panic. What if they don't like me?
"Hi! Are you two here to see Audrey?" My foster mom fakes. The couple both nod in unison. They walk in and say hi to me.
"Hi Audrey! I'm Lexi, and this is Max." The wife says, smiling so bright it looks like it hurts. I let out a brief smile, but I still feel so nervous I could puke.
"Hi." I say quietly. That's when they start to bombard me with questions.
"How's school?" Lexi asks. It's hell.
"Great! I love my math class."
"You have many friends around here?" Max asks. Nope.
"Yeah. I hang out with a lot of the neighborhood kids." I feel so scripted.
After half an hour, the couple decides they've asked enough questions.
"So?" My foster mom says, hoping for the best. Lexi and Max ask to speak with her in a different room. My foster mom takes them into the living room so they can turn me down again. I sit down of the couch and cover my eyes as I hear another person decline me.
"She seems like a great kid, it's just, she's not what we were really looking for." Max says.
"I'm so sorry." Lexi adds. I pull my knees to my chest and let out a few tears. My foster dad walks in.
"Hey kiddo," He says, "what's wrong?" He asks.
"They don't want me." I say. He wraps his arms around me.
"That's alright sweetheart. There's going to be someone out there who is just right for you." He says, putting his finger on my nose.
"What if I'm not right for them?" I ask.
"It's a mutual thing. If they don't love you, then how are you supposed to love them?" He says. I sit and think for a minute.
I lay down in bed to the sound of my foster mom screaming about how I'm never going to be adopted. Gosh, I hate her. I say my prayers, trying to distract myself from their screaming.
"If she doesn't leave this house in a week, then I'm leaving." My foster mom screams.
"Honey, just please wait this thing out a bit longer." My foster dad says.
"No! I'm done dealing with her unrealistic bullshit. A normal kid would be smart enough to know that her parents are just burnout drug and alcohol addicts!" She screams.
"Anna," my foster dad starts. "Audrey is a good kid, alright? She just needs a fair second chance." He says.
"Audrey!" My foster mom calls. "You ready for church?" I rub my eyes and look at the clock. I slept in big time. I'm fried!
"Um," I start, looking into my mirror at my semi-afro and pajamma's. "almost!" I scream. I begin to throw on the clothes as fast as an Olympian. I run downstairs with my Sunday best on.
"Audrey, comb your hair, child!" She yells at me. My rebellious side begins to kick in.
"No." I say firmly.
"Excuse me?" she says in disbelief. "Go brush your hair." She commands.
"No, I won't." I say. "I look fine." She rolls her eyes and grabs the keys to the truck.