-VALERIE'S P.O.V-
"I FEEL LIKE A WHALE."
Ninfa bursts into laughter.
"It's not funny. You made me fat."
She just keeps laughing. Finnley walks downstairs with Zack.
"Hey mom."
"Hey Valerie."
"Be honest, Zack. Do I look fat?"
"Uhhh..." he says and then disappears.
"I AM A WHALE."
"Shamoo." Emma says.
"Shamu." Finnley corrects her.
"No. Shamoo."
"So now I'm also a cow. I'm a whale and a cow. Comfirmed by Emma."
"You're welcome." She says with a wide smile.
"She seriously doesn't have anything better to do besides calling me fat?"
"No one has actually called you fat."
"JOEL DID. JOEL STRAIGHTUP SAID I WAS FAT. LIKE A MONTH AGO."
Ninfa shrinks inward. "I. Am. Right. Here. No need to yell through a fucking mind channel that can hear me whisper if I was to."
"Fine. Sorry. But still."
"You look pregnant, mom. Not fat. Pregnant."
"Very helpful, Finnley. What made you guess?"
He rolls his eyes. "You poor thing."
"Hey. No. No. No. Don't do that to me. Same thing I said when you ran into the wall at 2. I am not a wounded Finnley."
"Sorry, mom. You're crazy. I'ma go this way." He turns the other way and leaves. "See you in the morning for work, mom."
I sigh. "I want it."
"You can't."
"I want the coffee. I haven't had any in like a month. I want coffee."
"We have to go to bed. You can have some in the morning."
"How much is some?"
"A cup. A coffee cup."
"Oh. Yeah. The really large coffee cup? Ooo... or the thermos?"
"No. Like 8 oz."
"Nooooooooooo."
"Let's get to bed, Emma." Ninfa take her and starts heading up the stairs.
I follow behind. The stairs look like a really rocky mountain hike. One of the ones that you're just like..no.
And I'm on limited magic usage. Teleporting is so much harder now. Finnley has to do that for us.
I feel like a beached whale looking at the ocean thinking that it's right there. And it is. The top of the stairs is right there. Right there but so far away.
I sigh and begin walking up the stair. One by one. This. This.. this sucks.
I love my unborn son. I do. Very much. And I love this feeling. I do. Very much. But holy shit do I feel like a bluebarry umpa lumpa.
"Do you need help?"
"Noo. I do not need help."
"I can help you. Blinking would be faster."
"Nin.. no."
I make it to the top stair. Never. Really. Once. In. 20 something years. Have I. Been so out of breath. It's killer.
Ninfa takes my hand and blinks to the bedroom. A walk I probably could have made by myself. If I wasn't fat I wouldn't need help.
"You're not fat."
"I am. I really am."
"You're almost due."
A day I will be both glad and sad. Glad to hold our son. Sad because I would feel slightly empty again. Empty in the carrying a life form kind of way.
"Do you want me to get your fuzzy socks?"
"...Why are you being nicer to me?"
"Because I know what you're going through. The days you'd give me foot massages and fuzzy socks when I was pregnant were the days I cherished."
"I did that like almost every day for you."
"Exactly."
It does sound super heavenly. She hasn't offered in a while, not like I would. But she's busy a lot. So am I. But.. it does sound like paradise.
"What's the catch?"
"Nothing. Just saying. I could actually be helpful if you'd ask."
"You know I don't ask for help."
"You should."
She gives what was offered. Nice foot massage and fuzzy socks. But it still doesn't help me. ..help from feeling like a beached fucking whale.
"I wish you'd smile."
"I can't. I'm too fat."
"Stop it. You are a billion times worse than I was with complaining. Holy hell."
I don't get why but that's funny to me.
"At least you smiled?"
"By making me laugh to your wording."
"Holy hell seems pretty legit with you."
"Which is why I thought it was funny."
She sighs heavily. "You, my love, are exasperating."
"I feel like I have said that to you before."
"I'm pretty sure you have. But in this case, you need it. You're so bad."
"Fat. Blame the fat."
She rolls her eyes in laughter. "You're not fat. You're beautiful. He's almost ready."
"Yeah. But. Like when? I know I'll feel sad when he comes into the world but I will also feel a lot less fat."
"Are you going to tell him that he made you feel fat?"
"No. The kids will have no probably doing that for me. Along with telling each other that they made you feel fat too."
"That is true. Very true."
"See? No worries."
I sigh. She takes my hand and lightly squeezes it.
"I hate not being able to hold you closer."
"I know, Val."
She nuzzles her head between my neck and the pillows. Instantly bringing me to smile. Even if I can't properly hold her, this woman is awesome.
I have to admit though, this kid. He will be kicking ass. His kicks hurt and that's coming from someone who is almost use to all physical torture.
"His kicks are deadly. I swear this kid isn't sleeping with us."
"Is he kicking right now?"
"N.." just before finishing the word he starts kicking. I take in a deep breath. "Mhm."
"Now you know how I felt."
"You say that every time he kicks. That's just evil."
"Emma was worse than Dakota and Finnley. In and out of womb."
I still feel so bad about that. And it was right after Dakota woke from her coma. And right when Zack decided to move in. Hectic times.
"Would you think about doing it again?"
"Hm?"
"Being pregnant?"
"I..I don't know. Possibly. Not any time soon."
"Nooo. I think I'm good on kids for a while."
"We still need to have that talk."
"I'm not having that talk. There's nothing to talk about."
"There is. Neither of us know what's going to happen, Nin."
"I'm NOT."
Her yelling the word scares me. I never mean to get scared at things I shouldn't deal fear to but this is rare. And she made me jump.
"I'm sorry. I just don't want to go there, Valerie."
"W..We have to.."
"We don't. You will be fine."
Even if I am God, Satan and all things power, I can't be sure of those things. But little does Ninfa know, my magic will be transferred to my other heart. Her. If I die, she will go on. Even if she doesn't want to.
I did this so long ago. In case of really anything. I didn't think about this but I guess it would work. Will. If.
"Are you mad at me?"
"No?"
"Scared of me?"
"No."
"You flinched."
"Y..Yes. I did."
"So you're afraid of me?"
"No. Just that your raised your voice."
"Me."
"Ninfa, please don't. Please. Just don't do this."
"I scared you though."
"Split second. I love you no matter what. It doesn't matter. And I understand."
"Forgive me."
"Yeah but nothing to be forgiven."
"We've just come too far. I can't lose you now. Not with everything we went through just to have a little minute of happiness."
"I know. I know, baby. I know. I know." I turn slightly and kiss her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere. It was a just in case."
"I don't want to. I don't. Ever. Please, Valerie. I don't want to ever think of that."
"It's okay. It's okay. I know. I understand. I feel the same."
I guess I won't tell her. Maybe I'll write a will. Strange to ever think that I'd need to. Or maybe a letter to just tell her. And give it to Joel. Just in case.
I sigh to the new and aggressive kicks. "I think maybe he will be a kick boxer."
"Are you okay? Do you need anything?"
"Nice night rest with my wife. It's all I could ever ask for."
"Anything for you."
I kiss her forehead. And hold her close to me, as close as she's able to get. And her arm carefully drapes over my big belly.
I fall asleep easily. But one thing I hear before I do is one thing, I am thankful I have.
"I love you so much, Valerie."
Only sad that In too far asleep to respind. I fall faster knowing she loves me. That I always have a reason to wake up.
With Ninfa at school, Finnley working in the store here, I have just the right amount of time to make a letter. The letter..s.. letters. But for Ninfa.. It's got to be done this way because she won't want to hear it any other.
So this is what I have. Because I'm not perfect. And I will never say the perfect thing.
'My love, I am sure you know why you are reading this. And I am sorry. I never ever intended to leave you. Just because I am no longer here doesn't mean you're alone. You're not alone. You have our children. You have our friends. Our family. And now the world and all my power and gifts. I just need you to know that I love you. I love you with all my heart and so much more. Be strong for me, be strong for our family, be strong for our people. You are stronger than you could ever have thought. You just need to find it within. I love you, Ninfa.'
And to my children. 'I never saw myself as a mother or a parent. And I'll be honest, it was the best thing I ever did besides being with your mother. I'm not going to lie to you guys, you guys are my beautiful perfections. Each one of you are made perfectly and you should never let anyone tell you otherwise. I love you guys so much and I'm honored I got to raise you and love you like I never was. You guys showed me how much love I truly had to give and I still manage to love you more.'
And of course.. to Joel.. 'Been a crazy ride. I'm so glad I got to spend most of it with you. From the first happy birthday to the very last hug. I love you, Joel. You're my brother and my first best friend. Don't think I could have done much of anything if it weren't for you saving me countless times. Take care of my family. Show them love and care. And never, ever, ever forget to feed Misty. She will try to eat you. I love you, bro. Thank you for sticking with me this long.'
I even go as far to put a note for my people. 'I have had a wonderful set of years leading you all into happiness. But I leave on to, hopefully, a better place. Ninfa is your leader now as I had been before. Adore her as you adored me. Help her as you helped me. Seek help when it is needed. Have trust that you're safe in her hands.'
I write all of this... because I have a feeling. And though I could be wrong, I may be right. I write this because I know that I have a matter of days before our son is here. I write it because I could never let Ninfa look at me in the eye as I die and have her be hating me the last second I see her.
Whatever is to come, I will fight to stand. I want to be here with our son and the rest of our psychotic family. I will fight to stand tall.
In any case... I sigh.
"Finn, I'll be right back." I speak as he comes into view.
"Where are you going? I thought we had neighbor territory to set up."
"We do, Buddy. I gotta talk to Joel real quick."
I teleport to the school. It uses an absurd amount of energy but I have enough to last the day. I stop time, Ninfa included. Pulling Joel into my time alone.
"Hey, Valerie. Is something wrong? Are you okay? Is it time? Where's Ninfa?"
I laugh to him. "Nah. Not time just yet. Few days max."
"You can tell?"
"In a sense. But I need you to pass this on. One for Nin, our kids, you and everyone else."
"Valerie, no. You can't."
"Joel. I'm serious. It's just an in case thing. I can feel something big is to happen. I just need you to pass these along if it does."
"Why can't you speak them aloud?"
"Because. Do you know my wife?"
"Riiiight. Okay. Okay. But promise me that this isn't going to happen."
"I can't promise that."
"Don't make me cry in front of my class. Don't do this to me."
"Just pass the letters along if any thing happens. It will be okay."
He pulls me into a hug. Or a semi hug. Holding me the best he can and as tight as he can.
"I'll pass then along if it comes to that. But at least promise me that whatever is to come, you make sure to fight. Fight to be there when it's all over."
"When have I ever backed down from a fight?"
He sighs. "I know. My hero."
I laugh into the hug. "Sure. Everything will be okay. This is just an in case thing."
"Promise to fight."
"I promise."
He sighs loudly and pulls from the hug. "Pull me in when you're in labor. I want to be there."
"Not seeing."
"Definitely not. But. I want to be by your side."
"You got it."
He kisses my forehead before an take my leave. The teleport has me dizzy. I'd almost fall back of Finnley hadn't caught me.
"Maybe I should take you home for the day, Mom. You look tired."
"I can go one more round. Can't teleport though."
"Let me take the next week."
"Finn.."
"Mom. Ma is going to make you do so anyway. You know she will. If she could see you right now she would force you home and in bed."
"She overreacts."
He laughs at me. "No. She doesn't. One more round and then I'll take care of it on my own for a week. I know the ropes, how to do stuff and all. I can do it."
I find myself in smiles. "I know you can, buddy."
"So yes?"
"Your mother will make me anyway. So. Yeah."
He takes my hand and we are off to the next job. I do my part and wait for him to do his fully. And in the whole process I'm in deep thoughts.
Whatever is to come, I am both calm and terrified. I do not want to die but if I do, I do. If nothing happens at all, I will be grateful to just watch my son be welcomed to the world.
Both calm and terrified. Wondering if I will be in a lot of pain. Wondering if I will be okay. Stressing on if our son will be okay. If he will make it. Calm that I could die but terrified that I'd leave so much behind.
I guess it's just a wait and see. So now I wait. And hopefully see. Hopefully live to see.