“Rise and shine sleepy head!” Kayla woke up to the sun shining on her, and she thought she may have imagined hearing Jesse’s voice sound so chirpy in her sleep. She sat up, rubbing her sleepy eyes, feeling her body ache in a thousand places.
“What time is it?” she groaned, “Is it time to go to work already?”
“My watch is damaged,” she heard Jesse said, as she turned to look at him, smiling and looking at her. She realized she was not at home, but still stranded on an island, “I don’t think you’d be able to go to work from here.”
Kayla looked at him curiously, why was he in such a good mood? He was roasting something that looked like fish over the fire. She stared at it and back at him, as he smiled at her.
“I went and caught some fishes for our breakfast and lunch,” Jesse explained, as she narrowed her eyes at him.
“You went into the jungle?” she asked him.
“Yes I did,” he said, nodding his head and smiling. She smiled at him proudly as she took the fish that he held out and ate it. If he was going to be nice, then there’s no reason for her to argue with him, she thought. After all she like the nice Jesse better than the broody Jesse.
After breakfast they walked around the beach, and talked like old friends who had never met for years. Jesse had washed his socks the night before and dried it before giving it to Kayla to wear, so that she could walk comfortably. Kayla was touched by that small gesture he made, although he told her not to make a big deal out of it.
They played in the sea like young kids again, splashing water at each other and trying to drown each other playfully. Together they tried to build a sand-castle, but it turned out to be like a big mound of sand. Kayla tried to bury him in the sand, but she couldn’t get enough sand to cover his body using her hand, so in the end, he got up the sand and acted like a monster coming after her. She screamed and ran away from him, as he chased her and threw sand at her, resulting in them falling into the water, laughing.
By evening, they had walked to the other side of the island and back, finding no civilization at all. They had to just wait until someone comes over to this island. For Kayla, she wished she could just spend every day with Jesse here. As night fell, Kayla and Jesse lay on their make-shift bed side-by-side, looking at the stars in the sky.
“I can’t see this many stars in the city,” he said, mesmerized by the beauty of the night sky – it was a full moon too.
“I used to see it back home, but since I came to the city, I could barely see a thing,” Kayla said.
“Why did you come to the city?” he asked, turning to her slightly.
“Because I got a job, and I also wanted to learn to be independent,” Kayla explained, “I could always get a job back in my small town, but then I will be stuck there forever and never get to learn about the world.”
“Sometimes I wish I could go back to when things were simpler,” Jesse said, quietly looking at the sky. Kayla turned to look at him and saw that his face looked sad; could he be thinking about Amanda?
“As we grow older, things will never be simple,” Kayla said, “We can’t expect life to be as easy as when we were kids – in that way we’ll never grow wiser with years.”
“I know that,” Jesse said, sighing, “It’s just that…oh, never mind. It doesn’t matter anyway.”
Kayla kept quiet. She didn’t want to press him on if he doesn’t want to talk.
“Have you ever been in love, Kayla?” he asked turning to look at her, feeling his heart beat faster as he saw her chew on her lower lip, contemplating his question.
“By in love, do you mean my family or my friend, or a guy?” Kayla asked him back.
“A guy of course,” Jesse said, smiling, “Everyone loves their family and friends.”
“No, I don’t think I’ve ever been in love,” Kayla said, looking at him. I’ve had a crush on you though.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never had a crush,” he said, smirking at her.
“Well, honestly, I did have a crush on someone when I was fifteen,” Kayla said, “I liked almost everything about him.”
“What happened then?” Jake asked.
“I met him, and I realized he’s not the same person I’ve been infatuated with since I was in school,” Kayla said, sighing lightly. Jesse turned to look at her, who is that person? It can’t be me, can it?
“I’m sorry,” he said, as she turned to look at him.
“Whatever for?” she told him, “It’s a good thing too. If I never let go of him, how am I going to find someone new.”
“Have you found someone new?” Jesse asked wishfully.
“No,” Kayla said, looking at him. I haven’t found someone new, I found the old person back again.
“Oh,” he said, looking at the sky, “I’m learning to let go too.”
Kayla looked at him silently, as he seemed to choke on his words. It’s like he was going through a battle deep within himself.
“I was holding on to the past so long,” he continued, “I was angry, bitter and a jerk because I felt I was taking revenge on her.”
Kayla never even asked who ‘her’ was, as she knew very well he was talking about Amanda. She was glad that he was finally opening up to her.
“I realize that it’s no use I hold on to the past,” he said, “They are happy, and I’m the only one miserable. If I let go, maybe I’d be able to find my own happiness.”
“You will find happiness, Jesse,” Kayla said, looking at him, “You deserve to be happy.”
“I can’t even be angry with them,” he continued, “I was the only one to blame to make things like that happen. If I was not a jerk, maybe things would have turned out differently.”
Kayla watched in silence as Jesse battled with his will. She could feel that he’s holding back his tears.
“It’s okay to cry, Jesse,” Kayla said, as she saw a tear slid down his cheek. He sat up and turned away from Kayla. She got up, and placed a hand on his back, “Keeping your tears inside will only turn it into venom. To find your happiness you should let it out.”
“I can’t,” he said, “It’s so embarrassing to see a grown man like me cry.”
“Jesse, look here,” Kayla said, holding his face and making him look at her, “There is no one else here, but me and you. I want you to let it all out, and we’ll keep it between ourselves. I won’t say a thing to a soul.”
He started crying, as Kayla hugged him tightly like a small child. She patted his back as he continued sobbing. She felt his sorrow; of how he would have felt to see the love of his life living happily with his own brother. If it was anyone else, he’d probably not hurt this much. It was no wonder that he never went back to see any of them.
“Do you think they would forgive me?” he asked Kayla, holding her tightly.
“I think they would have forgiven you a long time ago,” Kayla said, rubbing his back, “It is you who hasn’t forgiven anyone. In doing so, you can find closure.”
“Do you think it’s a good idea?” Jesse asked, Kayla, letting her go and looking into her eyes.
“Yes,” Kayla said, nodding her head.
“Maybe I should do it,” Jesse said, as Kayla sat in front of him.
“I’m glad we had this talk,” Kayla said, as he smiled at her.
“Me too,” he replied, “I can feel my shoulders become lighter; it’s like a huge burden has been lifted off me.”
“That is the miracle of crying out all your misery,” Kayla said, smiling at him.
“Thanks a lot, Kayla,” Jesse said, looking into her eyes, searching for her sincerity, “I don’t know what I would have done if I’ve never found you.”
“I didn’t do much,” Kayla said humbly, as he smiled at her. She lay down, as Jesse lay down beside her too.
“Kayla,” Jesse said, as she turned to look at him, “How was it like for you when you let go of your first crush?”
She stared at him, not knowing how to answer that. I don’t think I have let you go, she thought to herself, I’m a bad adviser. I teach you to let go, when I still haven’t let go of you. You are still the person I’ve liked since I was fifteen, and the best part is that I am here with you in flesh and blood.
“It was sad,” Kayla said finally, “But the good thing was I had never spoken to him and never lived with him, so I guess it didn’t make any difference to me.”
I don’t know if I could let my feelings go for you now that I’ve seen the good side of you. Victoria is so lucky to have you.