Juliet Hardwin, the night of the accident
I had always thought that before you died, you'd see your life play out in front of you like in a movie. It intrudes your mind to convince you it was a pretty awesome one, or to tell you it's not finished yet. That you need to hold on, snap back to reality. I did not see my life play out in front of me, and I can't decipher whether it was because someone up there knew I wouldn't die, or that if you do, utter emptiness invites you in.
My chest heaves up and down and I tear my eyes open. How long was I out? Was I even out? Everything seems so unclear to me. Black dots dance around in my vision before my eyes can fully adjust to my surroundings. I'm unsure if what happened is even real life.
I try to get a sense of where exactly I am. My head is heavy and I realize I am upside down. Fogginess takes up all the space in my mind and my seatbelt cuts into my neck like a sharp knife. The windows on both sides of me are completely scattered, their remains sprawled on the roof below me. I shiver when a cold gust of wind smothers me.
Reality hits me hard when I peer through my tired eyes to the front seat and see the lifeless bodies of my parents, hanging upside down like me. I can tell the airbag had been activated, but maybe the impact was too high for them. Oh God, are they even alive still? I don't want to think anymore, it hurts my head. But everything around me is like a gun pointing at my head. I have to connect the dots, or it's game over.
"Mom, dad!" I continuedly screamed until my voice turned shrill, but I couldn't get a response out of them.
I cry and scream as loud as I can, ready to completely give up. I can't live without mom and dad. If they're even still alive, we will surely all die of hypothermia or our injuries, so why keep on fighting? Were almost in the middle of nowhere, in between the town and the city, not many people use this road. No one will come to our rescue – not in time, at least.
My core muscles are killing me when I reach my hand out and lay it on my mom's shoulder. I went from screaming to silent, to almost inaudible sobs. I don't know how long I stayed in this position – maybe it was a second, or ten minutes. Time feels too short and yet, too stretched out at the same time, like a nauseating nightmare.
Sweat sticks to my forehead the way it does when you have actually experience a nightmare. Blood streams down my forehead and I hear it dripping on the roof of the car, almost in the rhythm of a heartbeat. I have no idea where the blood stems from. We've been bungling upside down for far too long. Everything feels hazy.
My eyes jerk open when I feel mom's cold hand on mine.
"Mom?" I whispered, my voice tinted with disbelief, "can you hear me?"
"Are they coming?" Mom's voice cracked and I could tell it took a lot of her strength to even finish the sentence. It breaks my heart. I know she must mean the paramedics, but I cant bear to tell her that no sirens have been heard yet.
My eyes snap to dad. Is he still breathing? I can't tell if his chest is going up and down. More tears glide down my forehead. I stretch my neck out to try and get a good look of him, but the seatbelt cuts into my neck even more. God, everything hurts like hell. My whole body feels like it's on fire. I need to get out of this seatbelt. If I am quick, there's still a chance I can safe them.
Though of course, I don't have a knife on me. My heavy eyes want to close again, but this time I try to stay awake for everyone's sake. I have to put my hands on the roof, gain enough stability and use one hand to free myself from the seatbelt. I've seen it in movies before and I'm surprised I can recall it. After gravity takes me to the floor, I just need to roll over and crawl through the broken window.
I take a deep breath and push my hands against the roof. My neck is relieved of its suffering, only for agonizing stings of pain on my hands, leaving trails of hurt through my entire nerve system. I look up, there is too much scattered glass to place my hands anywhere.
My throat burns from inhaling the cold air. My hair blows in the wind and sticks to my forehead. My failed attempts have made me cry again, now I'm certain; I am dying. And now, I'm okay with it. We are going to die as a family. I now allow myself to close my heavy eyes for the last time and try to imagine what the afterlife would be like.
My dreams are typical, I see a vision of grand white stairs and my mom and dad standing atop them. I could almost feel it in my body, the lightness of letting go – oh, I am going to see this sight so soon. Mom and dad smiled, their expression sweet, yet apologetic. The corners of my mouth turned up.
The scenery turns dark, I see my brother reveal himself from behind my parents. How is he here?
I snap my eyes open and feel my heartbeat in my throat.
I need to live, we can't all leave him behind.
Tears streamed over my forehead again and the sound of them dropping on the roof sounds like a time bomb ticking. I scream and call out for help, begging for anyone to hear me right now. I only hope this sudden adrenaline burst saves my life.
But it seems like another failed attempt, because after 10 minutes, no one has come to our aid yet. No one out here can even hear me, it's wrong of me to use up all of my energy on a chance this slim. . . But I had to try, for Casper's sake, for mom and dad's sake. As long as I am alive – there is still hope for all of us, but I don't know how much longer I can take this. I gaze at my parents and pout, I know in how much pain they are and I just wish I could take it all away.
"I love you, Casper." I muttered before closing my eyes again. I know this will be the final time, I won't open them again. "I'm sorry."
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So, a little context as to what went on the night of the accident, from Juliet's point of view. Still, so many questions remain undiscovered for the siblings...
I hope you enjoyed the chapter, please vote if you did and comment feedback if you have it(: helps me improve!