Being reunited with someone you lost- Someone whom you thought was dead- was a very different thing. You became aware of them like you weren't of anyone else, became aware of the way their breath left their mouth, the pattern of their heart beat, the way their pulse thrummed inside them, making them alive.
I didn't mind that my legs felt sore from kneeling on the floor, or that my body was twisted at an angle that could be considered uncomfortable. Instead I was focusing only on the fact that I could hear my name, whispered against my skin. My grip tightened, my head resting on his shoulder. I could feel Draco's heartbeat. Alive.
I hated pulling out of Draco's arms, of removing myself from him when I had only just gotten him again. But I needed to get ahold of myself, reassemble my thoughts and try to find some sense in what was happening. I wasn't dreaming. That much I knew. Maybe I was dead.
He was supposed to be.
But here he was, kneeling in front of me with flushed cheeks and bright eyes, very much alive. My Draco.
"You're not dead." I said after a moment, my voice coming out strangled-sounding. Draco gave a small nod.
"True."
"You were never dead."
"True, again." He said quietly. I stared at him for a moment, stunned. My heart felt like it was gonna thud out of my chest. He watched me carefully for a moment, watching for my reaction. At least he saw it coming. My hand lashed out, smacking his arm roughly.
"You ass!" I hissed, rising from the ground and walking past him towards the fire, running my fingers through my hair in agitation. I paused in front of it, my hands clasped over my mouth. Tears had made my vision blurry, but I could still see the flames dancing in front of me, red and orange and bright.
I could hear Draco come up behind me, his hand gently coming to rest on my shoulder without any movement to get closer. Probably wise. Carefully I reached over, letting my hand rest on top of his. His skin was warm. The sob I let out was muffled, choked. I tried not to mind.
I stood there for what felt like forever, staring at the fire, letting the flames heat up my skin. At some point I could feel my polyjuice potion wear off. Fitting. There would be no more secrets here, after all. Draco didn't make a move to come closer. But he didn't move away either, his hand gentle but most present on my shoulder, his fingers pressing into my skin under my hand. Lifting my other one I quickly wiped at my face, taking a deep breath. Get your shit together, Lily.
Squaring my shoulders I turned, letting Draco's hand slip from my shoulder. He had solemn stillness about him, gray eyes wary and watchful as I stared back at him, giving my mind a moment to catch up. After thinking someone was dead, for days, weeks, months- It was strange to have them stand in front of you, look at you. To have them be a physical being again, when for so long they had been nothing but a ghost.
Again my hand acted out of its own accord, reaching out slowly till just the tips of my fingers touched the middle of Draco's chest. I could feel his heartbeat thrum through my fingertips. I inhaled sharply, moving to jerk my hand back- But Draco was quick, his fingers wrapping gently around my wrist and pulling it back to him. I watched with wide eyes as he lifted my hand up, pressing my knuckles to his lips in much the same fashion he had before, different place different time. Different face, I suppose. I could still hear Fleur and Bill's wedding music in my ears if I tried hard enough.
I watched as, though in slow motion, he let my hand go, let it slip from his fingers. Now- The thing about tension is that it can only hold for so long before it snaps. And no sooner had he let go of my hand was I moving forward, Draco's arms already reaching out for me, gently cupping the sides of my face as he kissed me, lovingly. Sweetly.
His hands were gentle on my face, one sliding to my neck while the other moved down, coming to rest on my waist, pressing me closer. My breath felt stuck in my throat, my heart thrumming in my body as I let my fingers hook onto the belt of his pants, pulling him closer. Closer was better. Closer meant real.
The last time we had kissed like this was when he was sick, tired. Not anymore. I was mesmerized, the soft sound that escaped his lips making my heart flutter. I could feel his fingers knot in the side of my shirt, brushing over the skin of my sides, his breath lightly fanning my lips as he murmured my name. I didn't want him to stop. His name left my mouth in a small gasp, fingers curled in his shirt. But... At the same time..
"I- Wait.. We need to talk." I murmured as I broke away, letting my hand reach up to touch his cheek gently. He leaned into my touch with a soft sigh. Carefully he leaned down, letting his lips press to mine for just a fraction of a second before he pulled away completely. I was frustrated at the lack of conact, missing the warmth, but then he took my hand, fingers interlocking with mine.
"I can explain everything." He said , looking at me with a distinctly ruffled expression. I nodded once, using my free hand to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, not missing his watchful eye on my movements, the way his gray eyes studied me with a longing look. I suppose it had been a long four months for both of us.
Blatantly ignoring the couch he sat down on the floor, looking rather comfortable as he lounged in front of the fire. He still held my hand as I sank down onto the floor next to him, already flushed cheeks feeling burnt by the fire.
"Where do you want me to start?" Draco asked as he moved, leaning back on his elbows. I rolled my eyes at the question, looking down at our still interlocked fingers with a faint smile. A silver ring gleamed on his left hand, very similar to my own. They shimmered together in the firelight.
"How about the beginning?" I suggested, glancing up at him with a raised eyebrow. His lips twitched before he nodded, his thumb brushing lightly over the back of my hand.
"Alright. Let's see." He hummed lightly, staring up at the ceiling with a thoughtful expression that I knew was most likely faked. Acting as though he hadn't already picked every word. It made me smile. "I was sick- The curse, the blood. That was all real. We thought- I thought- That death was inevitable."
"But it wasn't."
"I'm getting to that." Draco said, ignoring me when I rolled my eyes. With a sigh he continued. "I was going to die. That's what I thought. That was the truth. So I thought I'd live the rest of my painful days out in Ted Tonks's guest bedroom. And then you showed up. The Order had promised me they'd let me die in peace, without having to look at your face when I told you- Don't look at me like that, I know it was an asshole move, but I couldn't- The hurt in your face when I told you. When you found out. No one ever has to tell you things, do they? You find it all out eventually."
"But you didn't die." I said, putting emphasis on each and every word. Draco frowned lightly, but nodded once.
"It was a miracle- Bill Weasley had asked around and had found a potential cure. It was unlikely, going to be awful as hell, but it was better than nothing. So I agreed. God, it was terrible. It wasn't painful- It was numb, dizzying. I was so tired through out the whole thing, but if I slept I could die."
"But you didn't."
"God, you're just going to focus on that bit, aren't you? No, I didn't- Not that I was right as rain directly afterwards, either. Still exhausted, still sick, but no longer dying. And then a plan was formed. The Order had lost all their spies in The Dark Lord's ranks. But now they still had me. An unexpected upper hand, if you will. The bastards thought I was dead. So who else would be better to sneak back into their group?"
"And you didn't want to tell me."
"I did. Don't you dare think I didn't- I didn't even want to do it. It took hours for Shacklebolt and Moody to convince me of anything. They can thank Ted Tonks I agreed at all. As far as I had been concerned, as soon as I was healed I planned to return to you. To return to home."
He paused then, eyes dark as he watched the fire. The flames reflected off his blonde hair, making it look paler. it was uniquely attractive. "But they wanted- The less people that knew, the better. And they also knew that if your was reaction genuine, they'd believe it. The Death Eaters. We knew some were probably watching the house. Merlin knows no safe house is really safe anymore."
"And they just had to use me."
"It was cruel. I won't deny it. And I regret it. But it worked- And I didn't have to worry about covering up who I am. Only about being who they thought I was."
"And I suppose I'm not wrong when saying you're-"
"Marcus Thatcher? Yeah. I'm surprised you didn't figure it out before. I do a terrible job of lying to you." He said, his lips twitching up into a weak smile. "It was easy enough, fitting into the role of someone else- I had the room to make my own being, to restart. It was almost refreshing, had it not been for the obvious situation of being a Death Eater again. But for a brief while no one looked at me anymore, not with suspicion or hatred. I was simply another face in the crowd."
"An incredibly arrogant, obnoxious face in the crowd." I corrected. Draco grinned crookedly.
"Don't try to sell me that. You think I'm attractive no matter what I look like." He said, ignoring me when I made a sound of protest.
"Don't push your luck, Thatcher." I snarked, secretely enjoying the way Draco's eyes lit up with mischief.
"Watch yourself, Longbottom." He said with a sly grin, chuckling lightly. "Longbottom. Of all the people to hide behind. Really?"
"Neville's my best friend. And Augusta was willing to let me hide in the family." I defended. "And don't go teasing me. I'm angry at you."
"You seem furious."
"It's being repressed by the insane relief that you're not dead, you ass!" I said, smacking his arm. "So you should be bowing down, kissing my feet and begging for forgiveness."
"There's other parts of you I'd rather be kissing." Draco said flippantly. Ignoring my stammered protest he continued, staring at the fire with an air of mischievous pleasure. "And you know I'm not the begging kind. But for you, Potter, anything."
"Save the begging for later. I still have questions." I hummed, tapping my fingers lightly on the back of his hand. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I wasn't sure if it was you." He admitted with a faint shrug. "Not until about a month ago. I kissed you." He grinned crookedly now, obviously enjoying the memory. I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks, and found myself very grateful for the darkness and heat of the fire that disguised it. He watched me carefully.
"I'd been keeping an eye on you. It seemed unlikely that Longbottom would have a cousin out of no where come to Hogwarts this particular year. Not impossible, but unlikely. And while you did do a very good job at disguising yourself, I was able to pick up on a few things. Mannerisms don't die quickly."
"As though you're one to talk." I scoffed. Letting go of his hand for a moment I let myself sink down next to him, resting back on my elbows. Though our hands didn't anymore, our shoulders still touched, and the contact was enough to keep the knot in my stomach from forming again. "That's why I was so curious about you- You reminded me of you, I guess. Part of me thought I was just seeing things I wanted to, but.... I suppose not."
"You suppose not." Draco snorted, rolling over onto his side, his head propped up by his hand. It was oddly casual, talking to him like this. I enjoyed it. I needed it.
"I suppose not." I repeated with a short laugh, enjoying the way he grinned. The angles the fire casted on him made his face seem sharper, his eyes much darker and hair lighter. He looked nearly inhuman. I wondered if I looked the same in his eyes. Like something surreal, too beautiful to be real. Perhaps I was getting ahead of myself.
"So where do we go from here? I mean- I can't- I want- I can't get distracted by this. By you." I said quietly, looking over to the fire. It had dimmed slightly over time. Draco sighed, his shrug minimized by his position on the floor.
"We go back to normal. I go back to being Thatcher. You go back to being Longbottom. We pretend this never happened. We really have no other choice, don't you think? Though I was hoping we could have monthly meetings. For our own sanity, obviously." Draco said with a sly grin. I frowned lightly, staring up at the ceiling.
"Monthly?" I hummed, wondering if I could go that long. Draco rose up slightly, letting out a sigh.
"I can't risk you being caught. I can't risk me being caught. If I could see you every day of my life, I would. But for now- Monthly might be best. Just until this all ends." He said, his voice quiet. I smiled weakly at him, lifting a hand up and gently touching the side of his face.
"We best make each visit count, then." I said lightly, pleased with the way Draco's eyes seemed to darken, and this time without the help of the fire. He leant down slightly, a mischiveous smile playing at his lips.
"And how do you suggest we do that?"
"I was thinking by biscuits and stimulating conversation."
"God, you tease me, witch." He said. I smiled, laughing lightly even as he pulled me to him, his lips brushing mine lightly. I smiled even into the kiss, not able to contain it. Draco's hands were soft on my sides as he lifted me up, settling me in his lap as my hands came up, his face gently held between my fingers. I had missed him. I had missed this- The way we fit together, the way he looked at me, the way his hands made my skin burn where they touched.
This kiss picked up where our last left off. Not quite as rushed, not quite as desperate. We weren't reassuring ourselves that the other person was real anymore. Instead our lips met slowly, in between relieved smiles and soft sighs.
Draco was sitting up, his back resting against the edge of the couch. I'm sure it wasn't that comfortable. I doubted he cared much. In between the moments that my brain fizzed out I tried to get my hands to work, letting them slip under the shoulder's of his jacket, sliding it off. He helped, his back arching as he let it fall off of his body, let it fall beside us onto the floor. His shirt soon followed, and soon I found myself much in the same mindset I had been the first time I had seen him shirtless- Slightly dazed, a little overwhelmed, and very appreciative. He was beautiful to me.
Though everything was much dimmer in the firelight, I could still make out the scar that went up his ribcage from an old Quidditch match. And then another one, one I hadn't noticed before, running up his chest and upper stomach, accompanied by others of various sizes. I could feel his eyes on me as I reached out, the tips of my fingers lightly touching his skin. It was strange, seeing such familiar marks on someone else.
"Those are from your cousin." Draco answered my unspoken question as I looked up at him curiously. "I'm sure you're familar with them."
I nodded mutely as I retracted my hand. I had forgotten, given recent events, that I was not the only one to suffer the pain of the Sectumsempra curse. I wasn't the only one with scars. Keeping my eyes down, I let my fingers brush the hem of my sweater, hesitating before pulling it over my head, shaking my hair free when it caught. Draco seemed stunned into silence, and it made me smile, however shyly. Gently I took his hand, placing it against my stomach, against one of the larger marks that seared its way across my body. His palm was cool but comfortable, leaving my stomach feeling tight and jittery as his fingers danced across my skin.
"You didn't have to do that." He murmured, his voice oddly tight. My lips twitched into a smile as I let my forehead rest against his, eyes closed and breath mingling. I could feel his hand lightly stroking over a particularly large scar, gentle as ever. That was something I liked. He treated me like I was precious, but not fragile.
"I wanted to." I said simply, my breath hitching when his fingers neared my rib cage, tracing the edge of a scar. His smile was small, eyes filled with what I think was admiration. For me. If possible, it made my heart speed up just a little bit more.
"And you were worried about me distracting you." He said dryly, even as his fingers brushed my sides, sending shivers down my spine. With false innocence I shrugged, tucking a strand if hair behind my ear.
"I can put my sweater back on if you want me to." I said, struggling not to smile when a look of protest crossed his face before his eyes narrowed. I didn't have time to protest before I found myself pushed onto the floor, Draco's arms caging me in and keeping him hovering above me. I rolled my eyes, opening my mouth to speak when his lips crashed to mine, and we didn't seperate again for a long time.
_
"What time is it?" I hummed idly, curled up on the couch next to Draco. I was curled up in his side, his arm loosely wrapped around my shoulders. His head rested atop mine, and I could hear him sigh, his lips brushing my temple as he spoke.
"Probably around four. Why?"
"I promised Neville I'd be back by the morning." I sighed, watching as his fingers played with mine absent-mindedly, fingers tapping gently against the palm of my hand.
"Longbottom's got you on a curfew?" Draco sounded incredulous. I rolled my eyes.
"He's worried about me. He thought I might get into trouble."
"Certainly not as much as you could've." Draco hummed as I rose up, yawning softly. He was right. Though it had been his idea we stop kissing, Draco's expression always seemed to turn a little down when he realized I was indeed still wearing my sweater. Rolling my eyes I moved to stand up- Then laughed as I was gently pulled back down, falling into his lap in a graceless ball.
"I have to go." I said firmly, despite letting his hand find mine, fingers twining together. "Neville's probably waiting up for me."
"Longbottom's probably knackered off by now."
"You don't know Neville like I do."
"Thank Merlin for that, too." Draco said, laughing when I grabbed a pillow from the couch and smacked him with it.
"Neville's my best friend!"
"He's Longbottom." Draco drawled, rolling his eyes as he batted the pillow out of his face. I raised an eyebrow.
"Technically, at the moment, so am I."
"But you're not." Draco said decidedly, leaning up and pressing my hand to his lips softly. "You don't look like Longbottom."
"You know wha- Oh." I paused, feeling like the breath had been knocked out of me. I didn't look like Alecia Longbottom at the moment. I was Lily Potter, in mind and body, for once.
Draco watched me with raised eyebrows, evidently amused. "Forget something?"
"Don't be an ass. I'm still mad at you." I said, slipping my hand out of his to stand and go retrieve my purse, fishing through it for my spare bottle of polyjuice potion. I heard Draco sigh from the couch.
"Is that's how it's gonna be? I swear, you'll hold that grudge till we're seventy."
"You're being ridiculous." I hummed, pleased when my fingers grabbed onto the cool glass of the polyjuice vial. "I'm not letting go until at least 85."
"I wouldn't expect anything less." Draco's smirk quickly faded as I neared, sliding back onto the couch next to him. He quickly adjusted his position, moving so I was wedged between the back of the couch and himself, legs tangled together. I gripped the polyjuice potion in my hand, staring down at it wearily.
"Is it wrong to not want to go back?" I asked after a moment. I felt Draco shrug, his sigh soft.
"Not at all. But it would be even more wrong not to." He said, then moved. He reached down, pulling his jacket off of the floor. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a vial similar to mine, the liquid inside a dark amber color. "We can go together though, if you like."
"I don't want to go." I said childishly, closing my eyes and hiding my face in Draco's shirt. I heard him chuckle, pressing his lips lightly to my forehead.
"C'mon, love. It won't be so bad. Like you said, Longbottom's waiting for you. We don't need him to panic and go charging down the corridors for you now, do we?" He asked. I rolled my eyes, smiling amusedly as I lifted my head. Draco was watching me with raised eyebrows, a small smirk pulling at his lips. With a sigh I nodded, draping my legs over his lap as I tried to sit up a bit, knowing if I tried to down the potion lying down I would probably end up choking.
"Damn you and your reasonability." I said, watching as Draco pulled the cork off his vial, careful to make sure the amber liquid didn't spill.
"It looks like honey." I commented idly, watching as it caught light of the fire, making the gold liquid burn like the flames. Draco's nose crinkled up in distaste.
"Tastes like smoke. And what's yours- Blueberries?" He asked. I rolled my eyes.
"I wish." I sighed, moving to lift it up to my lips when Draco's hand reached out, stopping me before the liquid could pass in to my mouth.
"Wait- Just, wait." He said gently, staring at me with wide gray eyes. I turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm doing what you ask-"
"No. I just... Need to see you. Like you. For just a moment more." He said softly, letting his fingers trail gently over my face. I leaned into his touch with a soft sigh, appreciating it. It was moments like this where I understood the Order's want to keep us apart, to keep us from being near each other. Because our loyalties, our priorities, would always be the other person first. And it was selfish as hell, but it was just how it was. Leaning forward, I pressed my lips to Draco's, enjoying the way they melted against mine. His hand moved, and I heard the clink of the glass as he set it down on the floor, then- His fingers were around my waist, lifting me closer. I could hear my heart in my ears, the blood rush making my hands tingle. His fingers gripped my back, squeezing gently, unwilling to let go.
I had a knot in my stomach, tight as he shifted, his hips pressing against mine- I heard him intake sharply, a soft breathless sound as his lips brushed mine, fingers tightening slightly on my waist. I smiled lazilly into the kiss, threading my fingers through his hair.
"Potter-" Draco murmured lightly in between kisses. "We really shouldn't-"
"Don't." I muttered, pressing my lips to his one last time, savoring the feel before I pulled away, taking a deep breath. "I just... needed to do that."
"That's fine." Draco said, grinning lightly, his eyes bright. "Any time, Potter."
_
Saying goodbye, even for just a brief time, was incredibly difficult.
I managed to keep my eyes dry though, and it was only with bittersweet happiness that we said gooobye. I had to keep it in mind- I may not have him completely, but I was lucky to have him at all. He was alive. That's what mattered.
But still, the hug goodbye probably lasted longer than it should've. It was strange to look at the face of Thatcher and know that, underneath the dark eyes and hair, was Draco. He had pressed his lips lightly to my forehead, murmured a soft goodbye before I stepped out of the room, the warmth and sense of safety instantly drawn from my bones. Taking a deep breath, I tried to keep my steps light as I continued down the cold halls.
It was difficult to not turn around, to not look over my shoulder and see if he was there. He'd be going the opposite direction, to the Slytherin common room. Squaring my shoulders I continued on, relieved to see that Fat Lady was still there, albeit a little startled to see someone out so late.
"Oi, what are you doing out here?" She hissed as I neared, hands planted on her hips.
"Nothing. I was never out here." I said back, glancing carefully down the halls to make I wouldn't be heard. "Fluxweed."
"Alright, missy- Get in, before someone sees you." The Fat Lady rolled her eyes, and witha grateful nod I quickly stepped inside, the portrait door swinging shut behind me. The Gryffindor common room was dimly lit, and I could see Neville on the couch, wand tapping against his leg. Amusedly, I rolled my eyes,
"Neville." I hummed, his head snapping towards me like an alert dog.
"Where the hell have you been?"
"I told you where. It went fine." Well, more than fine. But- "You didn't have to stay up."
"I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't. You want to talk about it?"
I shook my head quickly.The rush was slowly starting to die, and sleepiness was settling in, making my eyelides feel heavy. "Tomorrow, alright? Now go get to sleep."
"I have many questions for you." Neville said as he rose up from the couch, movements slow. I laughed quietly, smiling as he passed by me, hand patting my shoulder in a fond gesture.
"I'll answer them best I can." I promised, watching as he waved me off tiredly before ambling up the stairs, disappearing from sight. With a sigh I took his spot on the couch, tucking my legs under me. The firelight was warm on my skin, and if I closed my eyes I could imagine myself back in the small room with Draco.
He was alive.
When I finally fell asleep, I was smiling, my chest feeling light for the first time in awhile.
_
"So you just talked? That's all?" Ginny asked the next morning, her tone innocently curious. I rolled my eyes, smiling amusedly as I passed the pitcher of water down the table, careful not to spill it.
"Yes, Ginny."
"What about?"
"Mainly just clearing up misunderstandings and then a bunch of empty threats." I said as I worked at putting butter on my toast. Neville eyed me suspiciously, chewing his food. He sat beside Ginny across from me, elbows resting on the table as he ate.
"And you still hate Thatcher, right?" He asked, gesturing at me with a fork. I was careful to keep my eyes from drifting to table where I knew a pair of brown eyes watched me as I bit into my food and shrugged, my smile uncontainable even as the lie left my lips.
"Of course."
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Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Okay.
You guys are amazing, and I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. Note that not all the questions have been answered, and more and more will be revealed as the story goes on. But I thought this was a pretty decent reunion chapter, eh?
I had a lot of fun writing it. If there's any flaws, please forgive me! I'll go back and edit when I can. But I really wanted to give this chapter to you guys as soon as possible.
Please take note of the song posted with it, as it's one of my favorites and I really think it fits the chapter.
Please fan, vote and comment! I always love to know what you think.
Luv ya,
Lily