Broken Hearts & Lonely Stars:
Chapter Fifteen: Wishing on a Dying Dandelion
Every child expects the world to be what people had told them in stories. Adventurous, rid of monsters, and candy everywhere. A simple lie to make children feel safe once they step out that threshold of their home. But in reality, the world is cruel. Women fearing the night as they strode through the streets, alert of all sounds. Children fearing unknown strangers, debating to accept the bribery they're being offered. Men fearing their wife and children each day once they leave their families for work.
Reality literally slapped me across the face once my father told me I was nothing but a disgrace. Reality was never soothing like a mother was with her children. Reality was a bitch to me. Each turn I made, something stopped me or pushed me to the limit to throw punches. My anger was always contained even if they pushed my buttons. My hatred towards Douchebag Danny or my father would always ignite the fire inside of me just by the simplest thoughts, it was always tamed.
As I watched her sitting on the steps outside the hospital, her wary expression deepening, I felt a tug pull me towards her. My body on its own accord approached her, my heart slowly pounding indifferently than its usual beat. My palms becoming sweaty as I set myself down beside her, pulling out a cigarette and slipping it between my lips while I felt her gaze on me. Fishing for my lighter, I gazed at the view before me: A pathetic looking street with only stores of meaningless merchandise being sold while cars passed by, neither stopping to pick up this beautiful girl beside me.
I finally found my lighter and sparked it to life, ready to inhale the toxins of my cigarette but my eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, the absence of the cigarette between my lips made me realize that it might have fell. As I glanced at the ground and saw nothing, my only answer was her.
I looked at her...well, more like glared at her as she crumpled up my cigarette in her hand and threw it to the ground. "What. The. Hell."
She returned her very own glare at me, those gray orbs brewing a silent argument in them, defying me whether I should challenge her. "Cigarettes are bad. Do you want to get lung cancer too?"
"I don't really care," I mumbled and suddenly flinched when her anger filled voice rang in my ears.
"What do you mean you don't really care?! Are you in a suicidal phase that you want to kill yourself already?! Are you that low of a person to leave everyone who loves you behind over your own selfish reasons?!"
I pulled my beanie down even more as I covered my face with my hands. Just like before, this girl could read me than others. She saw through my heartless facade, ripping away all the walls I put up, seeing something no one had ever laid their eyes on. Something I protected my whole life.
"You saw one reason why," I whispered, feeling pathetic and not able to look her directly in the eyes and lie to her that there were no reasons at all. What she heard was imagined but the way my voice cracked in the way, I realized I was breaking. Breaking into a weak idiot!
I felt her soothing touch rub against my back in circles and it somewhat made my skin tingle. I hated this feeling. I hardly knew this girl but since that day back in high school when we bumped into each other, I couldn't forget her. Figments of her were glued to my mind and I realized that I slept with girls that had her very features. Bridget had similar pink lips like her. Samantha had that mysterious innocence in her when I met her just like her. Images of the past girls I've slept with flashed in my mind, seeing the familiarities they had with this girl.
I lifted my head and met those gray eyes of hers, noticing how our faces were inches apart. Those fiery red waves were gone. Beautiful waves I wanted to run my fingers through. Her heart shaped face still held those adorable freckles that sprinkled themselves on her cheekbones. That innocence look in those gray eyes was still there but was slowly withering as if she was missing the life she once had. I leaned forward, mesmerized by the beauty of this girl, unaware how she leaned forward as well, our lips brushing each other until I pulled back, glaring at her completely.
I did not want this.
I was supposed to read her perfectly instead of it being me. I was supposed to make her break. I was supposed to do everything until she was on the palm of my hand. Not. Her!
"My name's Amy if you ever wondered," she said quietly, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"What?"
"My name's Amy," she repeated, those gray orbs glazed over. Sighing, she said, "I drew you because... The reason I drew you back in high school was because I like--"
"Rhea!"
My head snapped to the voice as I shielded my eyes from the sun, squinting at the person who stepped out of the Mustang, slapping their hands on the rooftop.
"C'mon, Rhea! You're wasting valuable time of me watching the UFC match!"
I sighed, rolling my eyes as I stood up, smirking as Henry's gaze drifted to Amy and that devilish smirk played on his lips, his mind slowly coming up with conclusions of why I was sitting next to her.
I took out another cigarette, feeling her angry gaze on me as I slipped it between my lips once me, I glanced at her and said, "The reason why I don't care of what happens to me is because... I have nothing else to lose."
I walked down the steps only to hear a faint voice behind me but brushed it off as my imagination yet my heart pounded a little faster as those words echoed in my mind, reviving the hope I once had.
"But you have me..."
Sometimes I wonder how life would be without me.
Would it be more joyful? Pathetic? Would my family live with all smiles and joy like other families?
But as I gazed at my mother handpicking the fruit while I leaned against the shopping carts, receiving curious glances my way. At times, I would take off my beanie only to scratch the places on my head I can't scratch and slip it back on and then those curious glances became sympathetic looks. As the days rolled by after I received this chemo, I was starting to get used to those looks. Ignoring them was the best thing I could. I would walk down the streets without my beanie, sneaking a glance at my reflection in one of the store's windows, seeing a bald headed girl who's skin was inked with tattoos from neck down to her knuckles, possibly her chest as well yet the sleeveless band tee she wore could show otherwise. Huge plugs slapping gently against her jawline as she strode past many bystanders who most often gawked at her to see such young woman with no hair at all.
I yawned, too tired to continue to stand as my mother kept getting more fruit and vegetables. For some reason, she looked tired for a housewife. Trying to maintain a home with no problems at all between her husband and daughter and keeping a smile on her face even though I could see the cracks in her facade. Each night, I would hear her cry in the other room while my father coaxed her, soothingly. Promising many things that only sounded like false hope to me. He was feeding his lies to her broken heart, hoping she would believe them.
Lily, though, she acted different.
Often quiet during dinner. Her blue eyes lost their spark and when those eyes met mine, I saw lost hope in them. Each time I came home from my chemotherapy, she would be sitting beside my door, clutching her teddy bear tightly while I tried to maintain my food in one place but failing miserable as I rush to the bathroom. Blade hadn't contacted me yet. Though he was on tour back in Iraq, I didn't find it in me to contact him. We both made a promise to each other and I didn't know who's promise would be broken in the future. As for Miranda, I haven't spoken to her. She'd called, asking for me but my mother always told that perfect child that I was in no state to deal with anymore dilemmas.
But I was dealing with one right now.
Amy...
She invaded my very thoughts, conquering my dreams while I slept. Each minute, each hour, my mind was on her. Was she that special to me for my mind to be exactly on her? I haven't slept with anyone in a long time and that meant misery for me. I haven't left the house after our little conversation back at the hospital. Was I afraid that I would crumble once again if I see her?
"Oh, hi, sweetie," my mother smiled at someone behind me.
"Hello, Mrs. Daniels," my body stiffened at the sound of that melodic voice as I looked over my shoulder to meet those gray orbs of hers. She was radiant today. Wearing black jeans that hugged her legs perfectly with a navy blue blouse as she stood tall and beautiful with those heels. She was sporting a red wig that didn't even match her fiery red waves I dreamt about.
"This is my daughter, Andrea," my mother introduced, patting my shoulder as I smirked, seeing the way she forced her sweet smile on those pink, full lips.
"Nice to meet you, Andrea--"
"Rhea," I interrupted, my gaze slowly devouring her. I could hear the intake of breath and my smirk widened even more as I met those gray eyes of hers once more. "Call me Rhea. Andrea sounds pathetic when it's so common."
"Nice to meet you, Rhea," she gritted out, earning herself a chuckle from me.
"How's your chemotherapy coming along, honey?" My mother asked, walking along Amy towards the cashier while I dragged the cart after them, throwing random junk food into the cart without my mother seeing.
Amy shrugged a shoulder, "Next Thursday is my last actually. My dad is already planning a party once the doctor gives the O.K for the end of the chemo."
My mother wrapped an arm around Amy's waist, pulling her to a side hug, "I'm so glad, Amy! Surely, we're invited?" My mother winked and giggled, feeling like a teenager.
I rolled my eyes as I threw two packages of Chips Ahoy! into the cart while my mother kept blabbering to Amy. I was too focused on what my mother and Amy were talking about that I didn't see the rushing figure towards me until arms wrapped around my waist and lips attacking my neck.
"Rhea, I missed you so much! Why didn't you call me?"
I glanced down at the familiar girl, meeting those chocolate brown eyes that seemed to bring me into a trance. A disgusting trance as she pressed her body tightly to mine, not caring that my mother was now watching us. Her golden brown hair was braided into one as her creamy skin glowed underneath the ceiling lights of the supermarket. Bridget batted her eyelashes flirtateously while my betraying hands ran down to her hips, inching closer to the hem of her summer dress.
"Bridget... How nice to see you," my mother's voice was strained as I saw the distaste in her sky blue eyes.
Bridget smiled, "Hi, Mrs. Daniels. It's been a long time I haven't seen you! Maybe Rhea didn't bother to take me to any of your family dinners lately."
"What--"
"I didn't know you two were back together...?" My mother cut me off, sending me a questioning look.
I shrugged, my gaze drifting to Amy's and I saw those gray orbs hardened, anger swirling in them as she watched us. "What do you know, love can fix anything," I forced a smile towards Bridget as she beamed.
What I was doing right now, pretending that I was back with Bridget was the stupidest idea but it was perfect to get what I wanted easier...
Even if it included a couple of broken hearts in the process.