#ABNQ18 Chapter 18
I was seriously going out of my freaking mind! Pagbalik namin sa school, I already had an inkling kung ano ang mangyayari. What happened last Sunday was a premonition of what's about to happen. At alam ko na kahit mag-iiyak ako sa harapan nila Psalm, hindi ko na sila mapipigilan sa gusto nilang gawin.
"I seriously fucking hate you," sabi ko kila Matt. Kakatapos lang magdismiss ng klase na wala naman kaming ginawa kasi kakatapos lang ng exams. The guys were so excited for the class to end na nauna pa silang lumabas. Kitty was laughing like it was so entertaining, while Anj looked clueless. Magkakatabi kami ngayon since nung birthday lunch ni Psalm, medyo nagkausap na kami. We still weren't back on our normal speaking terms, but this was an improvement.
Even Steele was joining Psalm in his stupid Oplan Finding Marcus.
Matt patted the top of my head. "Okay lang, mahal ka pa rin namin," sabi niya habang tumatawa. Naunang lumabas iyong mga lalaki. Seriously, nagkukumpulan sila. I even heard them spilling the list up para isa-isa nilang makita! Ang sarap kausapin ng coach nila para sabihin na ang daming time ng players niya!
Since the guys left, naiwan kaming tatlo nila Anj. I knew that Kitty knew that Anj and I were not completely okay yet, so she's acting as the arbiter.
"Hindi ko alam kung bakit kaibigan natin sila," sabi ko habang tinitignan iyong mga lalaki palayo. Mukhang nag-e-enjoy talaga sila kasi naririnig ko pa sila na tumatawa. They're surely freaking enjoying my misery.
Kitty laughed. "Ang cute kaya nila."
I rolled my eyes. "Cute my ass. Hintayin mo na magka-boyfriend ka, tignan mo kung gaano sila ka-annoying."
Kitty shook her head. "Nah. I don't think it'll be the same," she said, grinning at me. She, then, turned her head at Anj—who looked clueless. Then, Kitty looked at me. I gave her a nod, signaling na okay lang naman na sabihin niya kay Anj. 'Di ko kasi masabi kasi medyo awkward pa rin for me, pero okay lang naman if siya ang magsasabi.
Naglalakad kami papunta sa cafeteria habang sinasabi ni Kitty kay Anj iyong mga nangyari. Kitty told it so animatedly na dahilan kung bakit napailing na lang ako. Feeling ko tuloy sobrang bored ng mga friends ko kaya ako na lang pinagti-tripan nila.
"Hindi mo kilala si Marcus?" hindi napigilan na itanong ni Anj.
I shook my head. "Hindi... bakit?"
Kitty laughed. "It's just really weird, Joey. Marcus is like the poster-boy of our school. Model student. You know?" she explained.
I just shrugged. "Hindi naman ako masyadong involved sa kahit ano'ng nangyayari sa school. Bumuboto lang ako kapag elections dahil sa 'yo," I said, then she gave me a side-hug dahilan kung bakit muntik na kaming matumba.
"Love you," she said.
"Love you, too," I replied. Then, I noticed that Anj's face suddenly looked sullen. Gusto ko tuloy biglang suntukin iyong sarili ko dahil ang insensitive ko. "Anyway, saan tayo kakain?"
"Don't change the subject!" Kitty chided. "Ano'ng gagawin mo if malaman nila kung sinong Marcus iyong hinahanap nila?"
"Nothing," I replied. "Kasi hindi naman ako aamin, at wala rin kayong sasabihin."
Kitty laughed. "Oh, Joey, you're belittling the skills of the desperate," sabi niya hanggang makarating kami sa cafeteria. Pagdating namin doon, nagvolunteer ako na ako na lang ang bibili dahil mukhang engrossed na engrossed sila sa pinag-uusapan nila—si Marcus. Also, I didn't want to listen to anything about him. Ayoko lang ma-curious. Ilang buwan na lang kasi tapos na iyong class, so I didn't really see the sense.
Pagbalik ko sa table, they were still talking about Marcus.
"Gosh, pwedeng 'wag niyo pag-usapan around me?" sabi ko.
"Sorry, it's just really fascinating how small the world is," Kitty said. "Sabihin mo na kasi kung paano kayo nagkakilala..." she pressed. I shook my head. "Nanood ka ng swim meet?" I shook my head. Hindi talaga ako interested sa sports. "Napadpad ka sa HQ ng council while looking for me, then nakita mo si Marcus?" I shook my head again. "E saan mo siya nakilala?"
I flickered my eyelids, which made Kitty grunt. At least there's one thing they'd never know.
We were already almost done with our food when the guys arrived. Hawak pa rin nila iyong list, tapos may mga naka-cross na doon. Grabe. Grabe talaga.
"Tapos na kayo?" Kitty asked.
Simon nodded, then took the seat right next to Kitty. "Yeah, hanggang number 12," sabi niya tapos nakiagaw sa iniinom ni Kitty.
"Ano'ng ginawa niyo?" tanong ni Anj.
Matt shrugged. "Nag-ikot lang sa school tapos hinanap iyong mga Marcus."
"Then?"
"Ji-nudge namin kung iyon ba 'yung tipo na magugustuhan ni Joey. Kapag hindi, cross out. Kapag oo, proceed sa next round," seryosong paliwanag ni Matt.
What the serious fuck?
"What constitutes as Joey's type?" Kitty asked, clearly entertained with what's happening. Gosh, I should've never went to Tagaytay with Psalm, hindi sana mangyayari 'to! Ayaw na nila tuloy akong tigilan! God forbid hanggang maka-graduate kami, ito pa rin ang issue nila!
"Based on facts, kung titignan natin si Steele," sabi ni Matt kaya napa-tingin si Steele na tinignan nang masama si Matt. "Gwapo, matangkad, medyo hindi matalino, pero sobrang gago."
"Tangina mo," mabilis na sabi ni Steele. 'Di ko mapigilan na matawa kasi ganito sila dati nung hindi pa nangyayari 'yung kay Steele.
"Dude, I'm just stating facts. Pa-tingin ng grades mo?" hamon ni Matt kay Steele. Tinaas lang ni Steele iyong middle finger niya. "Tignan mo. Tsk."
Nagpatuloy sila sa pag-uusap sa kung anu-ano. Thankfully, medyo nalimutan na yata nila iyong tungkol kay Marcus dahil engrossed iyong mga lalaki sa pag-uusap tungkol doon sa bagong lalabas na sapatos na pangbasketball.
"San ka pupunta?" Kitty asked nung tumayo ako.
"Sa lib, may hihiramin lang na books," I said. Kitty nodded, then resumed talking with Anj. Nagsmile lang ako kay Anj bago ako umalis. After that, dumiretso na talaga ako sa lib. Hindi ko pa kasi nasasabi sa friends ko, pero balak kong kumuha ng NMAT. I just didn't want to jinx it in case na hindi ako pumasa... Wala nga talaga akong gustong pagsabihan kasi hindi pa man ako nag-e-exam, nape-pressure na ako. Papa's one of the renowned neurologists in the country, so syempre automatic na may expectations iyong mga tao. Ang hirap lang na parang kailangan lagi kang may patunayan.
I still had plenty of time before the next class starts, so I figured na mag-aaral na lang muna ako. I knew I had to take extra effort kung gusto kong pumasok sa medschool since hindi Science-related iyong degree ko ngayon.
Kumuha ako ng books about Chemistry and Physics since iyon 'yung feeling ko na kailangan kong pag-effort-an. Sa Bio and Social Science, feeling ko medyo okay na ko. Besides, maybe I'd enroll in a review center kapag sure na talaga ako.
Pinili ko na maupo doon sa lugar na walang masyadong tao. Nagsuot din ako ng earphones na nagpe-play ng classical music. I began to scan through the pages first, when I noticed that there were sticky notes on some of the pages.
I heard Oxygen and Magnesium were going out...
And I was like, OMg
I pursed my lips, and bit on it habang pinipigilan iyong tawa ko. Sandali kong sinarado iyong mga mata ko, at saka pumunta sa pinaka-dulo ng libro para tignan iyong borrower's card. May idea na ako kung sino 'tong nagjojoke na 'to. And true enough...
Marcus Isaiah Nicolas – College of Engineering
Damn. Kung saan-saan nagkakalat ng jokes 'tong tao na 'to! Akala ko ba member siya ng swimming team at president ng Student Council, pero ang dami pa rin niyang time magjoke?
Sinubukan ko ring i-check iyong Physics book, at mukhang nahiram din 'to ni Marcus kasi may mga naka-ipit din na sticky notes.
A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks, "Can I help you with your luggage?" It replies, "No, I'm traveling light."
Dahil sa jokes niya, instead na magstart na agad ako na magbasa, na-curious ako kaya binasa ko lahat nung naka-ipit na jokes. Sa sobrang tuwa ko sa jokes, I even posted the one I found funniest 'dun sa IG stories ko.
kittykat: OMG handwriting ni Marcus 'yan!!! Magkasama kayo???
matt: Nosebleed
supersimon: Nerd
psalmgdl: Where are you?
Hindi muna ako nagreply sa replies nila sa IG stories ko. Right after kong magpost, nagstart na talaga akong magbasa. Medyo familiar naman ako with some, but it's been a while since I last read anything related to Science, so I was feeling kinda rusty. I also didn't want to ask Papa for help kasi mas madodoble iyong pressure.
After almost two hours, I finally gave up. Feeling ko nahihilo na ako sa dami ng binasa ko. I checked the books out, but I was careful na tinanggal ko muna iyong borrower's card dahil sobrang epal ng friends ko, alam ko mafifigure out nila if nakita nila iyong name ni Marcus.
Pagbalik ko sa classroom, wala roon sila Kitty. Turned out, walang class dahil cancelled. Kitty sent a text na kailangan siya sa council kaya wala siya. Si Anj naman, wala rin.
"Uwi ka na?" Matt asked. Naka-basketball uniform na siya, so I think magpa-practice na sila.
I nodded. "Kaka-text ko lang kay Manong."
He nodded. "Sama ka muna sa gym," he said.
I wrinkled my nose. "Dito na lang ako sa room."
"Sige na," pangungulit ni Matt. "Wala pa naman si Coach, tambay muna tayo sa gym."
Dahil alam ko hindi nila ako titigilan, sumama na ako. Habang papunta kami 'dun, ramdam ko na pinagtitinginan kami. Syempre, sikat sila Matt since players sila sa school.
"Wala ka ba talagang balak maggirlfriend?" I asked him.
He shrugged. "Dadating din tayo d'yan," he simply replied.
"Wala kang crush?"
"Meron."
"Ayaw mong ligawan?"
"Bros over hoes," simpleng sagot niya. Hindi ko na siya kinulit dahil kung ayaw niyang sabihin, sure ako na 'di ko siya mapipilit.
Pagdating namin sa basketball, naglalaro na sila Steele, Matt, Saint, at Austin. Magka-team iyong magkapatid laban kay Steele at Matt. Needless to say, unfair iyong laban.
"Maglaro ka na 'dun," sabi ko kay Matt nung naupo siya sa tabi ko.
"So, sino nga si Marcus?"
I groaned. "Kaya mo ba ako pinapunta dito dahil 'dun?"
"Sige na, Joey? Mamamatay na ako sa curiosity. Sabihin mo na. Secret lang nating dalawa."
Siraulo 'to. Pagkatapos nilang pasakitin iyong ulo ko, feeling ba niya sasabihin ko pa?
I just wrinkled my nose, then began to skim through my phone. Habang nagsscroll ako sa facebook, naka-silip si Matt. I glared at him, but it didn't stop him from peeping.
"Wala si Marcus sa facebook ko," sabi ko sa kanya.
"Akala ko friends kayo, tapos 'di kayo friends sa facebook?" nagdududa na sabi niya.
"Inunfriend ko dahil sa inyo," sabi ko na lang para matahimik siya. After that, sinungitan ko na lang siya nang sinungitan para tantanan niya na ako. Nagtext din si Manong na medyo traffic, so medyo male-late siya. Lumabas ako sandali para bumili ng tubig since nauuhaw ako. Bigla akong natigilan since naka-salubong ko si Psalm.
He was sweaty, and his arms were shining from the sweat. Hindi rin mukhang broccoli iyong buhok niya dahil sa pawis. Bahagya akong napa-ngiti dahil napansin ko na suot niya iyong headband na bigay ko sa kanya.
"Late ka sa practice niyo," I said. Susungitan ko dapat siya dahil siya ang dahilan kung bakit ako kinukulit nila Matt, but I decided to let it go since suot niya iyong isa sa regalo ko.
His forehead was creased. "Why... are you here?"
I shrugged. "Masama? Ikaw may-ari ng gym?"
Unti-unting nawala iyong crease sa noo niya. "Sungit," he mumbled under his breath.
"Nagjog ka ba?" tanong ko.
He nodded, tapos pinunasan niya iyong pawis na tumulo sa gilid ng ulo niya gamit iyong kamay niya. Wala man lang dalang towel 'tong isang 'to, e binigyan ko siya ng isang pack ng Bench towels. "Yeah."
"Ikaw lang mag-isa?" He nodded. "Di ba usually by team kayo nagja-jog?" I asked dahil ganoon naman talaga usually. Kaya nga agaw pansin 'tong buong basketball team, at maraming nanonood talaga kapag nagja-jog sila sa hapon sabay-sabay.
"I was... running some errands," he said, sounding unsure of himself.
My eyes slighted when I sensed what could've been the motive. "Are you seriously still going around the school para lang mahanap si Marcus?"
Psalm didn't answer, but he also didn't refute my question. Oh, my God, sobrang kulit niya! Naka-tayo lang kami sa harap nang isa't-isa. I was gritting my teeth, while he was looking at me innocently na parang wala siyang ginagawang masama.
"Bakit ba ang kulit mo?" naaasar na sabi ko sa kanya.
"I'm just concerned."
"Ilagay mo sa lugar 'yung concern mo minsan," naiinis na sabi ko. "Sinabi ko naman sa 'yo, 'di ba? Friends lang kami ni Marcus. Bakit 'di mo maintindihan?"
Alam ko sobrang sama ko sa kanya ngayon, but he's seriously pushing it, too. Bakit ba parang obsessed siya na makilala kung sino si Marcus? Wasn't I allowed to have friends outside of our circle? Bakit siya? Marami din naman siyang friends, pero hindi niya naman ako nakikita na pinapakailaman sila.
His jaw clenched, and I saw him taking a deep breath. Psalm has always been in complete control of his feelings, so I know that whatever he's gonna say, he means it.
"If you're just friends, why can't you just tell us his last name?" dahan-dahan pero seryoso niyang sabi.
Huminga rin ako nang malalim.
"Kailangan ba?"
Hindi siya naka-sagot.
"Look, Psalm, I understand that you're being protective of me since I'm your friend, pero hindi na ako bata. Matanda na ako. Kung gusto kong makipagkaibigan sa iba, siguro naman okay lang. Hindi naman kita pinipigilan kapag nakikipag-usap ka sa ibang babae, 'di ba? So, why can't you extend the same courtesy?"
I was trying my best to communicate my thoughts well, but it seemed that I wasn't able to. Mas lalo lang umigting iyong panga niya, at lumalim iyong paghinga niya. I carefully chosen the words I was gonna use, but still, hindi niya yata nagustuhan iyong sinabi ko.
"Marcus... he's my friend. But you... you'll always be one of my closest friends. Hindi magbabago 'yun," I said, trying to give him assurance kung iyon ang pinag-aalala niya.
"Right," sabi niya bago bumalik sa labas, at nagjogging na naman.