I feel like something's missing from me, I don't know what it is, I just don't feel complete.
I like I'm missing a big part of me.
I feel so lonely, even when I'm with people, even if I look happy. I feel empty. I'm missing something big and I don't know what.
People say when you fall in love with the right person, they complete you. When I'm with him I don't feel as a lonely. Or is that just in my head? Am I so desperate not to be alone I'm making myself believe something that's not true or even real?
I don't want to feel so alone, lonely or empty anymore. I try to do things I like, but that doesn't seem to stop the pain that's always there.
Its always there when I stop moving and am left to my thoughts and feelings the loneliness and emptiness is back and I want to cry, but even when I do I still feel the same. It doesn't change anything.
I read, I listen to music, I sketch, I watch movies, I laugh, I try and pretend I don't feel the way I do, but the pain the feelings their all still there. The feeling of helplessness is crushing me, the heart breaking loneliness is too much to bare, the need to feel something - pain, anger, happiness. All that I feel is loneliness, pain, insecure, hurt, the need for companionship.
I can feel my feelings for you slipping away. I use to write your name on my shower door and giggle, but now I just sing and dance like I use too. I don't want to lose you, but there's nothing I can do about it except stopping myself from liking other guys at least for while. I use to talk about you constantly, I still think about you but not as much. I use to... Do so much more then I'm doing now.
I'm losing you I can feel it, i don't wish I'd bump into you as much as before and it's killing me.
I can feel you slipping from my grasp, all I have left of you are memories.
Every time I see you I want to say hi and talk to you, but you never notice me and I'm too afraid you'll reject me.
I want you to mine so badly, but you can't.
I need to let you go, but I don't want to.
I need you in my life, your my air.
When I'm away from you, its like I can't breath.
****
Sorry I haven't been updating on time lately.
I can feel myself letting him go and I'm desperately trying to hold on.
Thank you all for reading.
Checkout my other books.
I was away for the weekend and I didn't get to see him.
I haven't seen him in a month, I'm so sad without him. I miss him.
I keep praying I get to see him, talk to him anything.
I miss him so much.