"I'm Bim Trimmer." Bim winked to the mirror, giving it a sly smile before he headed out of his room and straight down to the kitchen. He liked to wake up early, since the house seemed a lot quieter in the mornings. He put on the coffee before he stretched out and grabbed himself the #1 Game Show Host mug, that he definitely hadn't had specially made for himself. Just as he took his first sip of coffee, he heard familiar giggling from the living room and slowly made his way in. He kept a close eye on the man as he approached cautiously. "Morning Wilford."
Wilford Warfstache who was standing at the glass door, turned his head and smiled at Bim, waving him over. "Hello!" He grinned.
Bim smiled and wandered closer, glancing outside to see what Wilford had been giggling about. "What's he doing?" He asked, watching King of the Squirrels, standing in the back yard and waving frantically at a tree.
"I strapped a fake squirrel to that branch last night." Wilford chuckled. "He's been talking to it for like twenty minutes."
"No way!" Bim chuckled, leaning closer to the glass door and squinted his eyes. "By fake squirrel, do you mean obvious child's toy?" He snorted.
Wilford shrugged. "Yeah well, not a lot of stores sell realistic squirrel models. I'm kind of sad I spent the money on that though. He probably would have been fooled if I wrote squirrel on a sack of flour." He wiggled his mustache.
Bim stared at King, who was frantically jumping around as he talked to the toy. "Can King even read?" He muttered.
"I... have no idea." Wilford sighed. "Does he really need to though?"
"Guess not." Bim chuckled.
"What're ya chuckle heads doin'?"
Bim groaned softly, glancing behind him and forced a smile. "Morning Ed. We're just watching King-"
"Waste of time." Ed muttered. "Hey, what turns you guys on?"
Wilford swayed his hips a little. "Depends what we're talking about. I mean sometimes-"
"Gross. Nevermind." Ed grunted. "Forget I said guys. Bim, what turns you on?"
Bim sighed. "Why?"
Ed shrugged. "Production is down."
"Of course it is. Talk to the doctor about drugs or something, would you?" Bim bit his lip.
"That's not a half bad idea!" Ed playfully punched Bim in the shoulder before he turned and headed out.
"My turn ons aren't that weird." Wilford shrugged.
"Do any of them involve knives?" Bim asked hesitantly.
"No." Wilford chuckled. "Stabbing is a different kind of satisfying."
"Good to know." Bim muttered, nodding slightly. "Oh god, King's climbing the tree."
"Dammit." Wilford groaned, looking back outside. "He's got to figure it out now."
Googleplier stepped into the living room and sighed. "We have a situation."
"Damn right, we do." Wilford tilted his head. "King's petting that damn thing. He still thinks it's real."
Bim giggled, doubling over and shaking his head. "He's going to try and pet more squirrels now! When he gets bit, it's your fault Will!"
"I meant the strange men on our lawn." Google sighed. "Where is Darkiplier?"
"His office." Wilford glanced over. "What men?"
"Thank you." Google nodded and walked out.
"What men?!" Wilford called after him again, before looking at Bim. "Fans?" Bim shrugged and before he could react any further, Wilford was headed to the office and he felt compelled to follow.
Wilford and Bim leaned in the doorway, catching the end of Dark and Google's conversation. "Ah yes, I was wondering when they would appear."
"Who?" Wilford drummed his fingers on his chin. "Why didn't I know about this?"
"You did not need to know." Darkiplier uttered as he stood, cracking his neck and sighed. "They will be confused enough without your help." He added, before glancing at Google. "Where were they?"
"Rolling around on the front lawn." Google explained.
Bim turned to look at Wilford, but he was already gone. Stepping out into the hallway, he looked around, catching no sight of him. "Something tells me that Will's already outside."
"Of course." Dark groaned, gently pushing past Bim and headed to the front door.
Wilford rose an eyebrow, staring at the men in the bush. "Hey fellas."
"Jim! Jiiiiiim!" One of the men cried out. "I think we've been spotted Jim!" The other man, who was holding a camera, silently pointed at Wilford.
Wilford nodded, grinning. "You've found the house boys, you're home."
"Is he talking to us Jim? This isn't the Jim family house! He's trying to kidnap us Jim! Run Jim, run!" The man screamed out, stumbling out of the bush and galloped down the side of the house. The man with the camera tumbled after him and sprinted to catch up.
Dark laid a hand on Wilford's shoulder. "You remember how confusing it was when we were brought into this reality."
Wilford rolled his eyes. "I was just trying to welcome them in!"
"I know." Dark sighed. "Let me fetch them." He slowly walked along until he found the two men sitting on the ground, their backs leaned against the backyard fence. "Good morning... Jims."
The camera man quickly lifted his camera to capture Dark. "Shh, I don't think he sees us yet." The other Jim whispered.
Dark grunted. "I just called you by name. I think I have seen you." The flashes of red and blue swirled around him slightly.
"It's demons, Jim!" The man screamed, scrambling to his feet again. He tripped and crawled on his hands and knees down the length of the fence, before getting up and jumped. After a few attempts, he grabbed the top of the fence and awkwardly pulled himself up, then flipped himself over, landing hard on the other side. The man with the camera followed him, and even more awkwardly, while still holding the camera, he too flipped over the fence, landing on top of the first man. "Oh!" He grunted. "Jim..."
Darkiplier groaned and Wilford approached, leaning against the fence beside him. "Remember how confusing it was." He mocked with a smirk.
"Must you?" Dark grunted.
Bim sighed. "Maybe I should talk to them. I'm sure the great Bim Trimmer, is still a little intimidating, but maybe less than the crazy man and the demon."
"I am not a demon." Dark glared at him, his aura flaring.
"I know, I know." Bim promised, biting his lip. "What is, lost souls fused by wonky black magic."
"Jim, who's that?" Could be heard on the other side of the fence.
Bim bit his lip. "Is someone back there with them?"
"King!" Wilford's eyes widened. Dark groaned, moving to the fence gate.
King was on the ground, head low, with his ear towards the stuffed squirrel he had. "I think he's dead." He frowned.
"Oh no, Jim!" Reporter Jim motioned the other forward as he kept low, approaching King. Camera Jim followed along, zooming in on him with the camera. "Someone's in trouble over here!" He looked at King. "Are you the rescuer?"
"Rescuer?" King glanced up at him. "I have to save him!" He shouted suddenly, turning his head and blew breath into the stuffed animal's face, before crossing his hands on it's body and pushed.
Wilford giggled, shaking his head. "This just gets better and better."
Darkiplier groaned. "He is going to get a disease."
"Wilford strapped a stuffed animal to the tree last night. He hasn't got a real dead squirrel." Bim grinned. "If you could see it, you'd understand."
"That is... more favourable." Dark sighed.
As King worked on his squirrel, Reporter Jim turned to the camera with a gasp. "We're seeing a real hero at work here Jim! He's saving a life! Right in front of you, and right in front of me. See that!" He pointed at King and Camera Jim moved closer, thrusting the camera towards the stuffed squirrel. "Breath, push, breath, push. That's how you save lives, Jim! How profound!"
Darkiplier's aura flickered around him, drawing Wilford and Bim's attention. "They are... going to be a handful."
"Oh, definitely." Wilford smirked. "I can keep them in line if you want."
"No, no." Dark sighed. "The fandom adores them... for some reason. I cannot explain to them why one of them is missing, if I allow you to handle it."
Wilford shrugged. "I wasn't going to ship them off or anything. A little stabbing usually does the trick."
Bim glanced at him. "We've had this discussion. No one likes to be stabbed. They'd... probably run away." Dark glanced at Bim, giving him a small smile as a thank you for the help, and Bim returned a knowing nod.
Reporter Jim suddenly laid down, placing his cheek in the dirt to get a closer look. "How's his thump thump?"
"I don't know!" King cried out. "I'm not a doctor! Dr. Iplier! Dr. Iplier!" He screamed.
Darkiplier sighed. "Bim would you-"
"You actually want me to get the doctor?" Bim chuckled. "I mean, he's not a vet... but that's not even a real squirrel."
"It will appease King. You know he will pronounce that thing dead." Dark pointed out.
"Right." Bim nodded. "I'll get him, King!" He shouted, heading into the house.
"Live little buddy!" King shouted, blowing on it's face again as he pumped on it's body.
"Oh reinforcements are coming! You know Jim, this reminds me of Mother Jim and that time she saved cousin Jim from choking on that chicken bone! What a day that was!" Reporter Jim grinned to the camera, and Camera Jim nodded, also bouncing the camera up and down. "I just hope we can get as happy a ending today as we did on that day, Jim."
Bim followed Dr. Iplier out, watching as the doctor crossed the yard and looked down. He glanced at the Jims, looking over his shoulder at Bim, who shrugged, then back to King. "He's dying."
"I know that!" King whimpered. "Help us!"
Dr. Iplier groaned and crouched down. "It's too late. He's already dead."
"No!" King gasped. "No! Little buddy!"
Reporter Jim shook his head, crawling away from the scene and motioning for Camera Jim to follow before pointing back to where King had started crying and Dr. Iplier was awkwardly patting the man's shoulder. "A tiny life was lost today Jim, but we saw some big hero moves by that fancy guy there. You don't see that every day, Jim! It's a big day, it's a big day for us all."
Bim took a deep breath, and made his way over to the Jims. "Hey, who are the two newest egos to the Iplier house?" He grinned. Reporter Jim glanced up at him and Camera Jim flipped the camera on him. Bim looked down at the camera and grinned widely. "I'm Bim Trimmer!" He explained, grasping an imaginary microphone.
Darkiplier watched him, groaning. "Letting him go was a mistake."
"I think he's doing wonderfully!" Wilford grinned.
"You would..." Dark sighed.
Dr. Iplier stood up, groaning as King latched onto his leg. "Darkiplier!" He screamed. "Help me with this!"
Dark sighed, crossing the yard. "King-"
"What are you whining about? So it's dead. Put it back in the tree and let it wake up without your balling." Wilford muttered as he stepped up beside Dark.
King sighed, scooping the squirrel stuffed animal into his arms. "He's already so cold."
Dark groaned. "He is not real. That was never a real squirrel, King."
Wilford pouted out his bottom lip, looking at Dark. "Aw!"
"What?" King gasped, looking down at it. "What do you mean? He's a squirrel! I should know. I'm the king of him."
Wilford sighed. "It's a toy. I put it in the tree last night."
King frowned, looking up at him. "You let me think he was dying!"
Wilford shrugged. "Hey! You kept the new guys distracted for a bit!" He grinned.
"You-! You're a-! You- you-" King's face went a little red as he glared up at Wilford. "You're a meanie, Wilford!" He got to his feet and ran off, easily scaling the back fence, since he did it so often and dashed off.
Dark sighed, deciding to let him calm down at the park and check on him when he eventually returned. He glanced over to find that Dr. Iplier was listening to one of the Jim's hearts with his stethoscope. "I'm sorry, you're dying."
"Jim! Jim no!" Reporter Jim cried out, grabbing onto the wide eyed Camera Jim. "Tell me we can save him doctor! We've lost enough today!"
"Doctor!" Dark called. "That is enough thank you. Inside please. Bim, you too."
"I was helping!" Bim whined.
"Inside!" Dark growled the echo in his voice strong as his aura swirled around him.
"Demons!" Reporter Jim screamed.
Just as Dark's aura began to rise up behind him, Google placed a hand on his shoulder. "Take a moment. I will gather them." Dark simply gave a nod and turned, heading inside and disappeared into his office. Dr. Iplier slowly headed inside too, Bim following. "You too, Wilford." Google pointed.
"He didn't say I had to go inside." Wilford smirked.
"I said it." Google pointed out.
"Wilford Warfstache don't take shit from nobody." Wilford growled, pulling his knife.
Google shook his head. "I do not fear being stabbed Will, please go inside."
Wilford pointed the knife at him. "This isn't over!" He threatened, before finally heading in.
Google looked down at the Jims. "Jim, Jim... welcome. I am Googleplier. Do you know Markiplier?"
"That poor, poor dead man with the big, big house." Reporter Jim explained.
"Good." Google nodded. "Only, he is not dead."
"A twist! What a story!" Reporter Jim cheered. "Did he fake his death? Is he a zombie? Was it the demons?!"
Google shook his head. "It is very complicated. Now listen... we are often called the egos... we are split off from Mark at some point, and brought to life by the excitement of his fans. Do you understand?"
"Yes." Reporter Jim grinned, and Camera Jim nodded, bobbing his camera. "Except for, not at all!" Camera Jim glanced at him, then back at Google, nodding again.
Google sighed. "You may be worse than King." He grumbled. "Come inside. I will introduce you to the... family." Hesitantly the Jims nodded, and allowed Google to lead them inside and hearing them come in, Darkiplier wandered out of his office. "Okay Jims, you have Darkiplier who is..." He glanced at Dark. "Head of the household, really." He tried to explain, glancing back at the Jims. "He is not a demon, but he is bound with black magic and is very powerful. Wilford Warfstache here is often in a delicate mental state, but he does make things exciting. I am an android. Dr. Iplier here is a questionable doctor, and Bim is a washed up game show host."
"Hey!" Bim grunted. "I'm not washed up!"
"When was the last time you hosted a professional game show?" Google questioned.
"Well I-"
"I know the answer Bim. It was in 2014. You are washed up." Google explained.
"This is not the time." Darkiplier growled, cutting off Bim before he could respond. Bim quietly glared at Google as Google turned back to the Jims.
"There are more in the house, but you will meet them later. Do you understand?" Google asked.
Reporter Jim glanced at Camera Jim. "I think we're in a house of crazies, Jim. We might be in danger."
Dark shook his head. "You are not in danger. Listen, you are no longer in your world, you are in this one."
"What about our family? The Jims? Mother Jim?" Reporter Jim asked, and Camera Jim zoomed in on Darkiplier's face.
Dark sighed. "I know... it is not easy. They are not here. Sometimes, you have to leave those you loved in the past, perhaps even leave parts of yourself in the past." Wilford looked at him then leaned over, gently bumping his shoulder against Dark's. Dark glanced at him and Wilford grinned, causing a slight smile to cross Dark's lips before he looked back to the Jims. "You are not alone though. You are lucky enough to have each other, and you have all of us. We are all in this together."
"What do you think Jim?" Reporter Jim asked the cameraman.
Camera Jim nodded a little, bouncing the camera, then smiled. "I like them, Jim."
"That one can speak?" Bim gasped. "Has he done that before?"
"Calm down, Bim." Google uttered.
Darkiplier smiled. "We do not have rooms for you... yet." He glanced at Google.
"Drawing up new plans." Google nodded. "New additions can be completed in... a month's time."
"Good." Dark smiled. "Do you want your own rooms or-"
"We'll share a room." Reporter Jim nodded. "Jims need to stay together."
"Of course." Dark sighed, glancing at Google. "One room then, a fair sized one that fits two beds and everything else comfortably."
"Plans adjusted. Contractor emailed." Google explained.
"Perfect. For now you can sleep on the couches down here." Dark added.
Reporter Jim glanced around the room, nodding. "Will there be a ceremony for the tiny life lost?"
"That was a toy. No life was lost." Dark explained.
"What a shock!" Reporter Jim gasped. "Such a roller coaster of emotions today! Tiny lives lost and then unlost and the Jim family left behind and a new house! Can you believe this, Jim?" Camera Jim shook his head, shaking the camera in unison.
"So you two are reporters?" Wilford asked, his jaw hanging open.
"Yes! I'm Jim, and this is my associate Jim! From Jim news!" Reporter Jim explained.
"I need no introduction, but I am the great Wilford Warfstache. Of Warfstache Tonight? I used to be one of the top reporters, as I'm sure you know but I'm more into the talk show host side of things now." Wilford grinned.
Reporter Jim looked at Camera Jim who shrugged, then glanced back at Wilford. "Ah, yes! Of course we knew about all of that! We at Jim News pride ourselves on knowing all of the news. The newsiest news people around, eh Jim?" Camera Jim quickly nodded, bobbing the camera.
"If you need any tips or pointers, just let ol' Warfstache know!" Wilford smirked.
"Yes. Let us give them space to settle in now." Darkiplier explained, shuffling Wilford into the kitchen. "Come along Bim! Doctor!" He called.
Bim sighed, following after him and Dr. Iplier glanced at Google. "How come he never makes you leave rooms?"
"I know how to handle myself." Google smirked. Dr. Iplier only rolled his eyes and followed Dark into the kitchen.
Google watched the Jims a moment and sighed. "Make yourselves at home, and we will be in the kitchen if you need us." He explained, finally following after the others.
It had been awhile since a new ego had joined the house. This was going to be a big adjustment for everyone, especially Jim, and even Jim.