(This came to me as I was watching two grown men compete in a ping pong competition.)
SILT: Sincerely, Me- Mike Faist, Ben Platt, Will Roland
Word Count: 646
"UH!"
"AH!"
Matthew sat up in bed, wide eyed, and glanced at the door. What in the world was that noise?
He swung his legs over the side of his bed and stood up, listening for any other sounds.
"ANGLETERRE!"
"TAKE THAT YOU BLOODY FROG!"
Cringing, Matthew exited his room and entered his brother's, shutting the door after him.
"Hey, Al? Have you heard the, uh, noises coming from downstairs?"
Alfred looked up from his phone and tossed it over his shoulder. Matthew caught a glimpse of the game he was playing and scoffed quietly.
'Angry Birds.' He thought. 'The only way to describe his ex girlfriends.'
"Hell yeah I heard 'em, bro! Sounds like Iggy and French Fry are boning!" Alfred exclaimed, jumping to his feet. Matthew raised his hands to his head and rubbed his temples wearily.
"And why, may I ask, do you sound so happy about it?"
"Because, bro." Alfred started, speaking as if it were obvious. "It means I can both prank them and mentally scar you at the same time! Now, let's go!"
Being stunned to silence, Matthew was unable to protest when Alfred grabbed him and dragged him from his room.
—skip—
"Is this really a good idea?" Matthew asked as he watched his brother fill up several water balloons with flour. Another groan filled the air and both boys flinched.
"Yes. Yes it is. Do you remember the plan?"
Matthew sighed in annoyance.
"We sneak up to the door, throw it open, and pelt them with these flour-balloons, burning the image of their naked bodies into our minds to forever haunt us."
"Yeah, you got it!" Alfred grinned, giving his brother a thumbs up.
Matthew rolled his eyes and grabbed a balloon in each hand.
"Well, might as well get this over with."
"WOO!"
—another skip because I'm lazy—
"OH FUCK! GOD, WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT THIS?!"
"OHONHON!"
The groans were much louder outside the door and both brothers grimaced every time another was released. Alfred looked at his brother and nodded silently, cocking his balloon filled hand in the direction of the door. Matthew rolled his eyes and turned the doorknob, throwing open the door as he did.
"FOR NARNIA!"
"FOR BEING DRAGGED INTO THIS!"
The brothers threw all the balloons they had into the room, their eyes screwed Shut to save them from anything uncovered.
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!"
"MÉRDE!"
The family all began coughing heavily, chests heaving as flour dust turned to paste in their mouths.
"I may have severely misjudged this plan, Mattie."
"No, really?"
As the cloud of flour dust settled, the brothers noticed the flares they were receiving from the two elder men in the room.
"What the bloody hell was this about?" Arthur exclaimed, and it was only when he yelled that the brothers noticed that the men were fully clothed.
"We thought you were having sex.."
"SO YOU WANTED TO BURST IN AND SEE?"
"Uhhh.." Alfred trailed off and looked at his brother for encouragement.
"Why did you zhink we were 'aving...relations? It's three in zhe afternoon!" Francis cut in, raising an eyebrow, and Arthur nodded behind him.
Matthew shifted his eyes before blurting out a response.
"You were making so many sexual noises! And don't even remind me about 'why are you so good at this'!"
There was an uncomfortable silence in the room before the two elder males burst into laughter. The two brothers chuckled uncomfortably, glancing at each other as they did.
"You thought...we were.."
"Mon dieu!"
More laughter flooded the room and Alfred and Matthew stood in silence as they waited for it to stop.
When the laughter did stop, Alfred asked what they were actually doing, if not having sex.
"We were playing tennis." Arthur smirked, and that's when the two boys noticed the Wii remotes dangling from their wrists.
(Btw, this was legit a cover for a shitpost lmao. It'll be deleted. I just wanted to tell you that I had something in the works and I wanted to know if you thought I should do it as a separate book? It's not gonna be long, about 5 chapters, but I don't want to use up 5 chapters of America's section for it ya know? Tell me which to do. Thanks bye)