(Original)
Ab heute wird die Uhr durch'n Countdown ersetzt/ Die sonne scheint auch in der nacht/ 'tschuldigung - ich hab mal eben nachgedacht/ Doch dafür ist jetzt wirklich/ Keine zeit/ Keine zeit/ Keine zeit/ Keine zeit/ Leb' die Sekunde/ Hier und jetzt/ Halt sie fest
(English)
Time's been replaced by a countdown/ The sun is shining in the night/ So here are words just think twice/ Wake me up/ Cause time is running out/ Running out/ Running out/ Running out/ Live every second/ Here and now/ Don't let go- Tokio Hotel- Leb die Sekunde
Ch 13
July 2, 2010
Refusing Adileigh to touch my guitar, I ran upstairs to grab my beloved instrument. My journal lay open upon my unmade bed, while the sheets were tangled in a mess. Flipping through the dog-eared pages, I scanned my lyrics. A piece of me could be found buried beneath the surface of words in ever composition.
What if they didn't like my writing? What if I played in a wrong position? Endless possibilities of failure swarmed my head. Nerves dropped to the pit of my stomach just as the meal recently consumed, churned uneasily.
Catching a wisp of air from my open window, my eyes shut for a moment. With the calming breeze, fresh with fragrances of summer and warm with the concealing sun, worrisome thought drifted away.
Comfort engulfed me with my guitar in hand. Instead of fear running through my head, lyrics of a billion different songs I had written decided to jumble themselves together. Woven melodies.
As I reached the bottom stair, I adjusted the pale yellow shirt I wore, while I held a firm grip on the wooden neck. The nylon strings pressed into my calloused fingers in a reassuring gesture. My steps were light against the wooden floor as I strode into the living room.
Alive with chatter, voices intermingled, waiting my arrival. Though, I wasn't noticed as I chose to cross my legs to settle upon the carpeted floor. Sinking into the soft surface, I used the side of the leather couch as a backrest. My knees came up into a "V", while the delicately hand-carved instrument laid between my abdomen and my bent knees.
Rainbow in color, my favorite pick I held in my right hand. The familiar engraving of an eighth note pressed into my fingers as I began to strum lightly. Watching my left hand directing the chords, I played a few melodies before glancing to the left to see all the faces concentrating on me. By that time, conversation had long dropped.
A smile touched mum's lips. Adileigh's eyes lit with excitement. All the boys waited patiently for the music originate.
Plucking a few notes, the chorus echoed in my head. "This is Thunderstorm," I announced as the first measures passed through the air. I found the opening to the first verse.
"Sometimes I forget why I am breathing
I question why my heart's beating
I wanta let it all go
And let it wash away with this thunderstorm,"
Easily, my fingers kept with the acoustic tune. Flowing in a distant sorrow, in my head, I heard the splashing of rain against a windowpane.
"Maybe someday fate will play a game
Leading us back to the flame
Igniting in the rain
Together we remain
Embracing the storm
Guiding us through without chains,"
The chorus ran fluid in my voice covering heavily with emotion over the instrumental accompaniment. A small interlude, I added, gave me time to reconstruct myself as I felt the depression from this period wash over me once more.
"Like the wind my thoughts keep changing
And the lightening keeps spraying sparks from the past
I wanta tune it out
To restart today
And wash all mistakes I've made
With this thunderstorm,"
I refused to look up as I felt my eyes build up with unshed tears. Allowing my eyes to fall over the glistening salt water, I knew I was stronger. But as I kept singing, I felt those walls I built and enforce for so long fall.
"Maybe someday fate will play a game
Leading us back to the flame
Igniting in the rain
Together we remain
Embracing the storm
Guiding us through without chains,"
One more verse, I thought, you can make it through.
"Though I might be dreaming
Tears are silently streaming
I wish everything could fade away
Where you could meet me halfway
In the pouring rain,"
I felt as if a cover had been lifted from my past. I was exposed to the universe. As a clap of thunder rumbled in my head as I recalled the night these words had flown onto paper. Withholding the world as my heart drowned itself in remorse. Days on end I stayed cooped in my room being unresponsive to anything and anyone, just listening to the cries of my broken heart. Wanting, wishing, waiting for him to take me back.
"Maybe someday fate will play a game
Leading us back to the flame
Igniting in the rain
Together we remain
Embracing the storm
Guiding us through without chains
In a thunderstorm we came
In a thunderstorm we remain
In a thunder- thunderstorm,"
My voice croaked on my last note as my finger hit the wrong chord. I gulped, hoping the musicals watching didn't notice my mistake.
With my eyes reopened, a felt a plump tear roll down my cheek, which I quickly swiped away. Burning sensations of wanting to cry occupied the face. But with the applause that sounded, I turned my face toward the group.
"Breathtaking beautiful," Bill said with a smile pricking his thin lips. In his eyes, I could see the happiness of a trance I pulled him into. "Your voice is just so pure. I could just imagine you being onstage hypnotizing a crowd with your words."
"There's no way in this world, I am ever going to perform on a stage."
"You say that now," Tom laughed, "You do realize you are sitting with four people who never imagined their dream would come true."
"But it's not my dream," I insisted, "Music is only my therapy. I don't want to preform onstage and be a star." Now, my tears dried in my eyes and instead of a frown lining my face in grief, a smile pulled at the edges of my lips.
"That's what I thought," Georg supplied, "until I met Bill and Tom."
"Ok, well, you want to play us something?" I asked sarcastically as we began talking about dreams.
"Tom, you should play us something," requested Adileigh, "Sephora, give Tom your guitar."
With an exchanged glance between Tom and I, I spoke, "This is my guitar, not yours. You can't tell me who to give it to." Realization dawned on me as I noticed Adileigh sitting between the twins. I thought they were inseparable. Anywhere you look it was always Bill, Tom and then the other two. Nothing, even if they fought, came between the two brothers, ever. Every picture taken or anywhere when the band was seen Bill and Tom were side by side.
"But I want Tom to play for us," she persisted again.
"Maybe another time," he replied.
"There's a reason why he has so many guitars," added Gustav.
"Anyway, I don't like playing on other peoples instruments," retuned Tom.
"I was just kidding," I uttered under my breath.
"No you weren't," Bill replied.
The whole room exploded in laughter. A smile held everyone’s face. And the world was spinning in a good direction.
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Hey!! As promised, I've uploaded. Did you enjoy it?? I did :D Writing this chapter was effortless, well, except choosing the song I wanted Sephora to sing. It was a hard decision. I've written so many songs lately, I narrowed it down to 2, before I chose the sadder song. I felt as if it was easier to describe. NOTE: These are MY OWN song lyrics. They ARE COPYWRITED along with the rest of the story. DO NOT COPY!! ('cause if you do I will hunt you down)
Well there are no translations in this chapter, which means I am going to bed now.
Update by Sunday, I almost promise that. Again it depends on, one if my iPod is charged, and two if I have the energy to stay up 'till one or two in the morning to write.
G'nite peoples. Until next time
-Midnightriter