I lay in my bed, my head and chest aching from the belt.
I stare at the ceiling in the dark.
Wanting to cry.
I feel absolutely horrible, I feel like there is nothing for me.
I feel lost for a little.
But then I change my thinking.
I think about all the good things that have happened.
I met devil. I stood up to my friends.
The only problem is, that I live here.
I can't explain my feelings about everything right now.
I feel sad and glad at the same time.
I start to drift. Not even thinking about changing my clothes or even getting under the covers of my bed.
I fall asleep and wake to the sound of my alarm going off.
I can't describe my night, I tossed and turned all night and just couldn't control my emotions.
At least it's Friday.
But sadly devil won't be there at school.
I
get myself ready, with the daily routine.
Meraculously I got a rude from my mother to school, so that was a very helpful thing.
I get the there and walk into the doors and walk to my first period class.
I see token, he glares at me a bunch.
I go and sit by him.
"Hey token," I say.
He just glares at me.
"Why?" He says randomly.
"What?" I ask.
"Why do you hang out with devil? How do you find him appealing even in the slightest?" He asks.
"You know, everyone makes him out to be a horrible dumb guy, but he really isn't all that bad." I say trying to reassure him.
"I hardly believe that." Token says.
Then the bell rings and we shut up.
The teacher starts ranting and I just sit there resting my head in my arm looking out the window taken over by boredom. Then the bell finally rings after 40 minutes of a lecture.
I go through the day, to each class period
In fact, most of the day has been nothing but boredom.
Lunch arrives and I try to sit with my friends but they are acting weird.
But that's not to my surprise to be honest.
I sigh and just sit and think about devil.
But I'll finally admit to myself that, I do, in fact miss devil. Even though it was just a joke, it's true. I do miss him.
I poke at my food not really eating it.
Then an insane thought came to mind that made me feel sick but, kinda good.
What if I have feelings for devil?
My eyes widen and I drop my fork which I wasn't even using.
I never really looked at myself as gay, I always denied the fact that I am attracted to, males. I didn't want to think it was true.
But maybe it really is.